Saalaam aleykum.
I am a lawyer and from a good family. I have had many men from good familie who wanted to marry me, but I was too young. Finally my father said yes to an engineer. We are now engaged. He got engaged before his older brother. Now his older brother also is getting engaged in some weeks. Three months ago when they found this girl who is a nurse, and had been visiting her for some months, we were visiting my family in law. Suddenly my mother in law starts to say bad things about me. She says later is such a bad job, you only argue, you work all the time, you never have time for the family. Nurse is so much better work, etc. etc. My mum got upset and said a lawyer works very hard to become one and one should not rank a lawer low. And like this they argued. After this my mother in law doesn't show any interest for us at all. Every weekend in these three months she visits or take the other girl as visitors. They go out the two families and they have a good time. In the same time she manipulates my fiancé and says that i am uglier than her, i am not a good girl etc. I have done nothing and I dont desvere this. I have always been a good muslim, had respect for my parents, always worked hard and studied, when i got engages I have very much respect for my family in law, always i kissed my parent in laws hand, and i was so happy and thanked God every day and night. I dont know what has happened. My mother in law has maken my life worse than hell ( i am sorry), and i cannot count all the days and nights i cry because of all she does and says. I dont know what to do, and i am devastated. I dont know why God lets all this happen to me. I have never done someone wrong and always have been a good muslim I am heart broken and everything seems so difficult. My fiancé is too afraid to tell her mom not to treat me like this. I ask God for more sabre
My family denies me, they says that even though his mother is a very bad human beeing he is very kind and innocent guy. And i can agree, but the fact that he does not stand up for me shows that he is not a real man a woman wants in her life. But my parents dont give me the permission to end this.
Saalaam aleykum.
I am a lawyer and from a good family. I have had many men from good familie who wanted to marry me, but I was too young. Finally my father said yes to an engineer. We are now engaged. He got engaged before his older brother. Now his older brother also is getting engaged in some weeks. Three months ago when they found this girl who is a nurse, and had been visiting her for some months, we were visiting my family in law. Suddenly my mother in law starts to say bad things about me. She says later is such a bad job, you only argue, you work all the time, you never have time for the family. Nurse is so much better work, etc. etc. My mum got upset and said a lawyer works very hard to become one and one should not rank a lawer low. And like this they argued. After this my mother in law doesn't show any interest for us at all. Every weekend in these three months she visits or take the other girl as visitors. They go out the two families and they have a good time. In the same time she manipulates my fiancé and says that i am uglier than her, i am not a good girl etc. I have done nothing and I dont desvere this. I have always been a good muslim, had respect for my parents, always worked hard and studied, when i got engages I have very much respect for my family in law, always i kissed my parent in laws hand, and i was so happy and thanked God every day and night. I dont know what has happened. My mother in law has maken my life worse than hell ( i am sorry), and i cannot count all the days and nights i cry because of all she does and says. I dont know what to do, and i am devastated. I dont know why God lets all this happen to me. I have never done someone wrong and always have been a good muslim I am heart broken and everything seems so difficult. My fiancé is too afraid to tell her mom not to treat me like this. I ask God for more sabre
Consider it a sign and don't go through with the marriage. No use in wasting your tears. You don't need their permission to end the engagement, this is your life and Allah gave you the right to reject someone for marriage. If you don't stand up for yourself, who will stand up for you? It doesn't seem like anyone is willing to do that. So if your husband or his family become abusive, if your family is already not supporting you now, then surely later on they also will not be stepping in to help you. You will be trapped in something you wish you never entered.
Consider it a sign and don't go through with the marriage. No use in wasting your tears. You don't need their permission to end the engagement, this is your life and Allah gave you the right to reject someone for marriage. If you don't stand up for yourself, who will stand up for you? It doesn't seem like anyone is willing to do that. So if your husband or his family become abusive, if your family is already not supporting you now, then surely later on they also will not be stepping in to help you. You will be trapped in something you wish you never entered.
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