how can I correct my sins and strengthen my connection to Alllah swt

First of all sweetie I'm assuming you're under 20s?
First of all you should probably not expose your deeds good or bad.
Who are we to judge right?
As a mental health worker suicide occurs when within Islam as well the western world.
Analysing your situation you seem anxious in wanting to fit in.
Pleasing your family and your Raab.
Just take small steps into change there's hope in all of us. Don't be too hard on yourself.
Join online Islamic groups possibly on twitter, Reddit or Facebook?
You've got to be careful as not joining the policical ones. They can be confuse a person in hating others, which is not from Islam.
If people can't accept you for who you are they're not worth your time.
Be true to yourself and just focus on the future.
Mental illness can come from the western lifestyle of drugs and drinking.
As long as if you weren't heavy user enough to damage yourself mentally there's hope.

I can relate to each and everything you said. I don't drink, but I've done some irreparable mistakes recently from which I can't move on. I do understand what it's like to feel so weak from inside and have an internal battle continuously where you're blamed wrong all the time.
Find yourself an escape from all of this. I won't say start reciting the whole Quran with the mere task to finish it, but go ahead and take a single step towards it. I'm sure God won't let us down.
Take one aayah, recite it, do go through it's details and try to apply it in your daily life. It's not an easy task at all, but I'm pretty sure once you decide to take a single step towards Allah, he would never let you down.
Good luck with life, my friend. Always remember, you're not alone.

Hi dear,
suggest you to take 2 rakaat of solat taubah after isya of before fajr. cry your heart out in that time, Allah listen, and Allah heals.
in the time when you feel alone, recite "Hasbi Rabbi ja la llah" حسیبی ربي جاللہ
when you are sad, recite "Alhamdulillah" (kind of acceptant about what you going trough, embrace what is done)
when you feel troubled, recite "Astagfirullah"
these what i learned to do to get more peaceful life with myself, do more dzikr, read more Quran, remind Allah more, and insya Allah you will feel less-lonely,
because Allah the merciful, will always be with you. Allah will replace whose gone with someone better.
let go of what was, accept what is, have faith in what will...

format_quote Originally Posted by Jayjay05

Please help me I want to do anything I can.

Assalamu Alaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh,

Firstly - you feel you've done wrong? No problem!

What has Allah azza wajal said about this in the Quran?Say, "O My servants who have transgressed against themselves [by sinning], do not despair of the mercy of Allah . Indeed, Allah forgives all sins. Indeed, it is He who is the Forgiving, the Merciful." (Surah Az-Zumar Verse 53)

So what do we learn from this ayat? No matter what we've done.....Don't Despair. Seek forgiveness and start fresh. Try your best from Today to say sincerely 100 times Istighfar (Astagfirullah) - Why? Click here to learn some of the benefits


Secondly - Do you know the power of Dua? Dua is a weapon of a believer! The best thing to do is seek the Forgiveness of Allah azza wajal - how?



Arabic to English Pronunciation: Astagh-fi-rulla-hal Azeem, al-lazi la ilaha il-la Huwal-Hay-yul-Qayyum wa aa-tubu i-laih

Meaning: I seek the forgiveness of Allah the Mighty, Whom there is none worthy of worship except Him, The Living, The Eternal, and I repent unto Him

Learn More: https://www.duasrevival.com/instant-...ns-forgiveness


Thirdly - If it's not too much trouble, if you have a few minutes please kindly watch this video for relief:




​Please remember us in your Duas.

Jazakallahu Khair,
DR

The fact that you're wanting to change your ways is AMAZING. I'm proud of you Ma'Sha'Allah. I can relate to your situation, I myself, am trying to be a better muslim. I haven't been the best.

In order to strengthen your relationship with Allah (swt), repent. Allah (swt) LOVES those who sincerely repent. Pray all of your obligatory prayers, it's okay if you can't pray all 5 in one day, take it easy and within time you will start praying 5 a day, in sha Allah. Also, have trust in Allah swt. Just know that everything that happens to you, good or bad, happens for a reason, Allah swt has willed it to happen. If you're going through a tough time and feel like Allah swt is punishing you, this is a GOOD thing. Allah swt punishes us for the sins we have committed in order to lessen our punishment in the Akhirah, that's how much our Lord loves us. However, don't get me wrong, not every tough time is a punishment, it can also be a test from Allah swt, to bring you closer to Him. Another way to become a good/better muslim is by gaining knowledge. Learn more about Islam and the history of Islam. Try and commit to the 5 pillars of Islam also.

Make dua, did you know Allah swt has 3 responses to Dua? 1) Allah swt accepts your Dua. 2) Allah swt accepts it but not yet 3) Allah swt gives you something better than what you asked for

Trust me, we've all been through hard times. All you have to do is turn back to your Lord, pray to him, make Dua and have the right intentions when you do things.

Furthermore, as well as improving yourself religiously, try to become a better person as well. Be kind to people, give money to charity, treat others with respect always and be good to your parents. Allah swt loves people like this too. You can pray all you want but if you treat people rubbish, Allah swt will not be happy with you.

Once again, I'm actually happy that you aspire to change. You will already be getting reward for this, in sha Allah. Just ask for sincere forgiveness for your past sins, do not turn back to them at all. Read your salah, read the Quran, gain more Islamic knowledge and try to be a better person in general.

May Allah swt bless you and your family, take care.