I hate my brother with a passion - am I a bad person?

It is perfectly reasonable for you to feel the way you do towards your brother. He is going against Islam and is trying to take others with him. Do your parents know of his actions? Are your parents even religious? If they are, you need to let them know so they can help prevent him from trying to lead your sister astray.

Whatever you do, don't let him bait you into arguments. Always be polite and treat him with respect. If he wants you to debate about Islam, tell him that you're just a layman and are only qualified to talk about it in general.

As for your sister, gift her books about Islam, such as The Sealed Nectar, and books about the Women of Islam. Always encourage her, and try to help her see that the materialistic things of this world really don't matter.

What is his age? When did he pick up these ideas? Usually Leftist universities in Muslim countries have strong anti-religious Marxist presence and they strongly influence freshmen students to adopt atheism and put immense pressure and bullying, along with taunting conservative students by calling them terrorists, extremists, etc.

He might have gotten himself involved in some marxist group, and even though he didn't pick up ideas of Marxism he took the anti-religious sentiments very strongly. He sounds like more of a new atheist like Dawkins or Sam Harris, than Marxist atheist. Does he keep talking about Che Guevara, Lenin, anti-capitalism, etc?

Usually like in the US there's a saying, Young people vote Democrats, when they get older they vote Republican. Similarly many of these atheist muslims break away from atheism after they leave University and get a job and family, and they either become Friday muslims or may become more conservative. Secularism still leaves a strong imprint on them.

Google "Mahmudul Hasan Shohag", you'll find a guy with a big beard. He was once a harcore new atheist, from the biggest engineering Universities in his country. So people can change, maybe your brother will change. Not all possess the ability to be objective or mature much later in their life and understand harsh realities of life. Many are too taken in by Liberal idealism, Humanism, etc which are fictional ideals cooked up by French philosophers.

New Atheists are worse than other radicals because other radicals are self-aware but New Atheists think they are holding the "normal" position where they infringe other people's rights and personal space and beliefs. Generally these people can't be reasoned with because they are incredibly fanatical and delusional. They think they figured out the world because they watched videos from Sam Harris, and now think they are smarter than anyone else. They also think they are more intelligent than religious people on the basis of their atheism, and morally superior because they hold vague humanist ideals.

Generally fanatical people of any type can't be reasoned with. But new atheist fanatics won't accept anything you have to say with the sole basis that because you're religious you're dumb and you have nothing important worth saying to him.

You either have to wait for them to age out of it, or let life hit them like a train as it usually does with fanatical, delusional people. There are harsher solutions, but I'm giving you the modern ones. Rest depends on your parents.

If patriarch meaning the front is men, where in TVs you see men's face as 99%, where men lift heavy objects, go at wars, are protectors of women and children, where you kill two sheep for a boy and one for a girl, where men should be out there running business, taxi drivers are men, where all prophets are males and there are no place for a female to be a prophet, where Athan is done by a man and no women allowed to do Athan and when revelation and books was send to men and not to women and the best of creation of the entire world, better than paradise itself is actual human male (prophet peace be upon him) and not female (since no females are prophets) then yes Islam is a patriarch religion. Any feminist have a negative thing to say that and hate it they can have their own religion and worship false female Goddesses all they want and wage war against masculinity. Or if they want, they can declare war against Allah himself for creating masculinity. Allah will bring his army and the feminist female will bring theirs. The only prayer I have is I want to pray to Allah that I be part of his army. What honor to be under his army and fight for sabellah'llah. I would do for Allah. I would sell my soul to him. I would sell my body to him. I would sell my wealth to him. If Allah gifted me with 30 sons and 30 daughters I would sell them all to him. If Allah gave me 8 trillion dollars I would do zakkah for his pleasure and spend all 8 trillion for sabella'llah and not even waver an inch.

Allah have given so much for women and there are still feminist out there who object with Allah's decree. Truly amongst humanity we are truly the most ungrateful. We truly deserve and earned the COVID-19 by our own hands.

format_quote Originally Posted by CuriousonTruth

What is his age? When did he pick up these ideas? Usually Leftist universities in Muslim countries have strong anti-religious Marxist presence and they strongly influence freshmen students to adopt atheism and put immense pressure and bullying, along with taunting conservative students by calling them terrorists, extremists, etc.

He might have gotten himself involved in some marxist group, and even though he didn't pick up ideas of Marxism he took the anti-religious sentiments very strongly. He sounds like more of a new atheist like Dawkins or Sam Harris, than Marxist atheist. Does he keep talking about Che Guevara, Lenin, anti-capitalism, etc?

Usually like in the US there's a saying, Young people vote Democrats, when they get older they vote Republican. Similarly many of these atheist muslims break away from atheism after they leave University and get a job and family, and they either become Friday muslims or may become more conservative. Secularism still leaves a strong imprint on them.

Google "Mahmudul Hasan Shohag", you'll find a guy with a big beard. He was once a harcore new atheist, from the biggest engineering Universities in his country. So people can change, maybe your brother will change. Not all possess the ability to be objective or mature much later in their life and understand harsh realities of life. Many are too taken in by Liberal idealism, Humanism, etc which are fictional ideals cooked up by French philosophers.

Wow, thank you for that bit of hope. He is 29, 30 very soon. I think he got mixed in with the wrong people maybe when he was in his early 20s / late teens. But I do really pray that Allah can forgive him and guide him.

format_quote Originally Posted by Avis

It is perfectly reasonable for you to feel the way you do towards your brother. He is going against Islam and is trying to take others with him. Do your parents know of his actions? Are your parents even religious? If they are, you need to let them know so they can help prevent him from trying to lead your sister astray.

Whatever you do, don't let him bait you into arguments. Always be polite and treat him with respect. If he wants you to debate about Islam, tell him that you're just a layman and are only qualified to talk about it in general.

As for your sister, gift her books about Islam, such as The Sealed Nectar, and books about the Women of Islam. Always encourage her, and try to help her see that the materialistic things of this world really don't matter.

Thank you for this. I’ll do my best, but it’s really difficult.

My parents are religious to the point where they pray and fast etc. but they give my brother way too much freedom in my opinion.

About a couple of weeks ago, for the first time in years, my sister sat down with my mum (with her own free will) and read Quran. It was so beautiful, I teared up after seeing it. My mum and I don’t want to let her feel any pressure to jump into reading Quran everyday or anything so we’re being super gentle and cautious. We’ve been leaving the Quran out for her and I’ve been sort of hinting at how good some of the Quran apps are these days. It’s a bit like a stealth operation. Inshaallah she’ll pick up on this again. She used to read the Quran often and she used to love it. She was able to read really well too.

I like that idea about the Women of Islam books, my sister does tend to have a slight feminist perspective so maybe something like that would catch her attention.

format_quote Originally Posted by CuriousonTruth

New Atheists are worse than other radicals because other radicals are self-aware but New Atheists think they are holding the "normal" position where they infringe other people's rights and personal space and beliefs. Generally these people can't be reasoned with because they are incredibly fanatical and delusional. They think they figured out the world because they watched videos from Sam Harris, and now think they are smarter than anyone else. They also think they are more intelligent than religious people on the basis of their atheism, and morally superior because they hold vague humanist ideals.

Generally fanatical people of any type can't be reasoned with. But new atheist fanatics won't accept anything you have to say with the sole basis that because you're religious you're dumb and you have nothing important worth saying to him.

You either have to wait for them to age out of it, or let life hit them like a train as it usually does with fanatical, delusional people. There are harsher solutions, but I'm giving you the modern ones. Rest depends on your parents.

Totally agree, that just about sums him up. He looks down at people for having faith, he’s so clueless.

He already suffers major depression, he lost his job and he’s in huge debt. On the contrary, he knows that I’ve got a pretty good job and am happy. I’m really happy. I know it’s not quite as black and white as that because Allah works in his own divine ways. But why my brother still can’t stop and try to understand what’s going on is beyond me.

format_quote Originally Posted by CuriousonTruth

Feminism has no place in classical islam, but if those weird feminist islam and the Mogaheds are needed to keep your sister in islam, then do that as a last resort. Scorched earth tactics you know. She will be saying things like "all men are trash" and "bring down the patriarchy" but atleast she'll be using "islamic" justifications when she does that.

Haha that’s funny but actually quite clever too. That might actually work. My sister does have a bit of a feminist side. Thanks.

format_quote Originally Posted by m4rouf

Totally agree, that just about sums him up. He looks down at people for having faith, he’s so clueless.

He already suffers major depression, he lost his job and he’s in huge debt. On the contrary, he knows that I’ve got a pretty good job and am happy. I’m really happy. I know it’s not quite as black and white as that because Allah works in his own divine ways. But why my brother still can’t stop and try to understand what’s going on is beyond me.

Strange usually people in trouble become more religious.

Perhaps because he is in so much trouble he feels his unique atheist and anti-theist identity is the only that makes him feel special. And the more trouble he gets in the more radically he holds onto it, because this is the only thing he has left, that makes him feel good about himself.

format_quote Originally Posted by CuriousonTruth

Strange usually people in trouble become more religious.

Perhaps because he is in so much trouble he feels his unique atheist and anti-theist identity is the only that makes him feel special. And the more trouble he gets in the more radically he holds onto it, because this is the only thing he has left, that makes him feel good about himself.

Maybe, who know what runs through his mind

I posted a few other replies but looks like they’re still pending moderation. In the meantime, thank you all for your advice and kind words.

Amazing news - my sister asked me about which imams she could watch on YouTube. Any suggestions?

I think many women follow Yasmin Mogahed, i don't think she's an imam, but I've heard women listen to her. I guess you could start there, and as a female she might be more receptive to a female preacher than male preacher. Young girls don't like to be 'mansplained' nowadays.