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  1. #1
    Array Islami.mu'min's Avatar
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    Women as a slave to man. confused. (OP)


    Assalamu alaykum. I hope this post doesn't offend anyone, I would like to speak out my thoughts on this because I have been thinking about it recently. I don't mean to post this to spread hate, but I truly want someone to help me. So please reply if you are willing to discuss

    DO NOT read if you are currently experiencing doubts or you are ignorant enough to easily follow an opinion. This topic has to do with the status of women in Islam.


    We can all agree that Islam is liberating to women, releasing them from the slavery of society and them being looked down as objects, right?


    But at the same time, sometimes when I hear this, I cringe, unfortunately, and I truly wish I wouldn't. I really do believe that Islam views women as human beings, but then I get mixed feelings.

    I start to think, they are not an object to society, but they are just made for pleasure of their husbands, and only their husbands. So kind of like they are objects to their husbands i guess. Listen to what I have to say about it.


    I mean, Eve was created for Adam's pleasure.

    Women wear hijab, men have up to four wives, men get concubines. Now believe me, I understand the beauty behind the hijab and I do enjoy wearing it. And i understand the reasoning behind men getting four wives, and I understand that slaves are treated well.

    But those things combined AND plus the emphasis on a woman pleasing her husband all the time. To me it just sounds like men own women. Like these women are covered up and they are property to men, to please men.

    It just makes me feel like I am created to worship Allah by following His commandments, which I agree with this part, but also by making myself accessible to a man like a caged up object(and yes, we must be treated with respect, i know that),.


    so basically men get a bunch of objects that are wrapped up(in hijab) so they own them. I mean, even slaves can be sold around, can't they? as long as they are in good treatment and not pregnant etc. But it just sounds like these women are made for mens' desires. Especially with concubinage.


    I was reading an article on how Islam liberates women. It was talking about how she doesn't need to be enslaved, to look beautiful for the public. It talked about how she doesn't need to suffer from trying to diet and get the body she wants to go wearing a bikini on the beach. This is true, and it is a beautiful statement.

    However, isn't it her duty to do this for her husband? It is always emphasized that a lady should obey and beautify herself for her husband. If she wasn't skinny enough for her husband, wouldn't she have to "strive" to get that body and look beautiful for her husband?

    See i like the idea of women being covered up outside so she isn't always trying to beautify herself for attention from boys. It makes complete sense. But at the same time, Islam basically advocates the same thing but except for your husband. Because it is your duty to do that. You cover up outside so your husband is the only one who can have access to your body, meanwhile, he can have access to three other women plus concubines.

    You have to look a certain way for your husband so that he may be satisfied with you.

    So maybe women aren't enslaved by society, but they are by their husbands (once again, they still get respect though)

    It just all sounds wrong. It makes me not want to marry. Because I can't seem to wrap my head around the fact that women can't be whom they want to be anymore.

    It is like these rules (that can be a struggle to follow) meant to protect muslimahs were created to satisfy men,

    In the western society,, its all wrong. I hate it. Its horrible. but then in Islam, I am sad to say that it feels similiar to the west but in a different way. (there are some good things about it though when it comes to women)

    I hate the feeling. But I don't feel at peace and tranquility as a female anymore. I can kind of understand husbands who abuse their rights in Islam and why they do it. Its sad.

    There are also Muslims out there who emphasize certain ideas such as how a man deserves his wife's obedience and respect therefore he is better than her, only making me think about this even more.

    I once used to enjoy attention from people because I was "beautiful" enough. But then I discovered what it truly feels like being a Muslimah, and truly felt liberated after this. But now, I feel heart broken. For myself, and the women of the west. Because i don't know what to believe anymore


    It is emphasized that Allah is displeased with the women who don't work hard enough to please their husbands. A husband must be pleased. No slacking accepted if a husband is displeased. Meanwhile, if women aren't pleased with their husbands enough (I am referring to non abusive husbands but also men who aren't working to the full extent to please their wives. Of course it is encouraged to be best to your wife, but there is nothing discouraging a man to slack every here and there), then these women are just ungrateful.

  2. #61
    William Wallace's Avatar
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    Re: Women as a slave to man. confused.

    Report bad ads?

    Brother Abdullah you told me to create a thread and I did on the topic of interfaith marriage as you requested. But The thread was just recently deleted though. I don’t know what to tell you, as we cannot have a fair conversation on this issue as it is being blocked by the moderation for whatever reason they deem fit.

  3. Report bad ads?
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    'Abdullah's Avatar
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    Re: Women as a slave to man. confused.

    It’s alright. Perhaps we can discuss this in the thread below:
    On Marriage between Muslims and non Muslims.

    Please communicate with mods and admins to make sure they understand your point of view and hopefully they will allow such issues to be discussed. And if things take a wrong turn then they can remove the thread or delete any offensive posts.

    On Marriage between Muslims and non Muslims.
    Salaam I thought this was a settled question, some would like to change it. Embedded Tweet...

  5. #63
    'Abdullah's Avatar
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    Re: Women as a slave to man. confused.

    @William Wallace

    I found this video of English Christian women 100 years ago and see how things have changed in just over a century. Muslim women still try to please Allah while Christians have started to follow the norms of the modern Satanic society.

    Thats just one example. Few decades ago, Christians will not have sex before marriage but now it’s normal and in fact they are encouraged to explore the world and have as many relationships as they want until they find perfect spouse. By the way, they love to marry atheists more than Muslims. Christians parents are more worried if their daughter marries a Muslim man than an atheist.
    | Likes Islami.mu'min liked this post

  6. #64
    Muhammad's Avatar
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    Re: Women as a slave to man. confused.

    السلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته

    To clarify, I did delete a number of posts made by William due to the fact that they were promoting a baseless view (that a Muslim woman can marry a non-Muslim man). The following makes this very clear:
    All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger.

    1 - All the jurists agreed in a consensus that a Muslim woman cannot marry a Non-Muslim man. Allah Says (what means): {And do not marry polytheistic men [to your women] until they believe.} [Quran 2:221]
    Allah also Says (what means): {O you who have believed, when the believing women come to you as emigrants, examine them. Allah is most knowing as to their faith. And if you know them to be believers, then do not return them to the disbelievers; they are not lawful [wives] for them, nor are they lawful [husbands] for them.} [Quran 60:10]

    Because in this marriage, a Muslim woman faces the danger of Kufr (disbelief), as her husband might influence her. A wife always follows the footprints of her husband.


    2 – On these bases, the marriage of a Muslim woman is prohibited with any Non-Muslim man either he is a Christian, a Jew, an Atheist or an Idolater, etc... Allah has invalidated the guardianship of a non-Muslim over any Muslim. Allah Says (what means): {…and never will Allah give the disbelievers over the believers a way [to overcome them].} [Quran 4:141]

    3- All the jurists agree that marriage of a Muslim man to a Chaste woman from the People of the Book is lawful. Some of them disliked it. The People of the Book means the people of the Torah and the Bible, who believe in a revealed religion whose origin was true, like Judaism and Christianity. Allah Says (what means): {This day [all] good foods have been made lawful, and the food of those who were given the Scripture is lawful for you and your food is lawful for them. And [lawful in marriage are] chaste women from among the believers and chaste women from among those who were given the Scripture before you, when you have given them their due compensation, desiring chastity, not unlawful sexual intercourse or taking [secret] lovers.} [Quran 5:5] The main condition for marriage is the chastity of the woman, because this will be a cause of love and affection between spouses.

    4 – A Muslim can not marry a polytheistic woman (who worships anything other than Allah, like Idols, Stars, Sun) or an atheistic woman or an apostate woman. Allah Says (what means): {And do not marry polytheistic women until they believe. And a believing slave woman is better than a polytheist, even though she might please you. Those invite [you] to the Fire, but Allah invites to Paradise and to forgiveness, by His permission. And He makes clear His verses to the people that perhaps they may remember.} [Quran 2:221]

    5 – The reason for the permissibility of marriage to a woman of the People of the Book is that she also believes in the basics of Islam, like her faith in the Oneness of Allah, in the Hereafter, and in the reward and punishment from Almighty Allah. There are some linking bridges between them, which may assure a happy conjugal life, and it is expected that she would embrace Islam, because she believes in the Messengers and in the revealed books in general.

    For more benefit, please refer to Fataawa 384922, 397159, and 84159.
    https://www.islamweb.net/en/fatwa/81...le-of-the-book

    The website that was espousing the baseless view is run by a group of Muslim women activists. They are usung very general points such as ‘The Qur’an strictly forbids Muslims from preventing others from being happy’, and ignoring or misinterpreting clear texts on the issue. This tends to be the approach of people who wish to distort the teachings of Islam to suit their own agenda.

    We do not allow such views to be promoted on this forum, as our goal is to assist people in coming closer to Allah سبحانه وتعالى, not expose them to doubts and confusion.

    To the sister who started this thread, if you study Islam, you will find numerous examples of how Islam elevated the status of women and granted them rights which they previously didn’t have. The following link lists some previous threads and links on this issue which might help you:
    Index of useful threads

    I am now closing this thread as it seems to have served its purpose and to prevent people going off-topic.

    والسلام عليكم
    Last edited by Muhammad; 2 Weeks Ago at 01:55 PM.
    | Likes 'Abdullah, xboxisdead, Islami.mu'min liked this post
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