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    Women as a slave to man. confused.

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    Assalamu alaykum. I hope this post doesn't offend anyone, I would like to speak out my thoughts on this because I have been thinking about it recently. I don't mean to post this to spread hate, but I truly want someone to help me. So please reply if you are willing to discuss

    DO NOT read if you are currently experiencing doubts or you are ignorant enough to easily follow an opinion. This topic has to do with the status of women in Islam.


    We can all agree that Islam is liberating to women, releasing them from the slavery of society and them being looked down as objects, right?


    But at the same time, sometimes when I hear this, I cringe, unfortunately, and I truly wish I wouldn't. I really do believe that Islam views women as human beings, but then I get mixed feelings.

    I start to think, they are not an object to society, but they are just made for pleasure of their husbands, and only their husbands. So kind of like they are objects to their husbands i guess. Listen to what I have to say about it.


    I mean, Eve was created for Adam's pleasure.

    Women wear hijab, men have up to four wives, men get concubines. Now believe me, I understand the beauty behind the hijab and I do enjoy wearing it. And i understand the reasoning behind men getting four wives, and I understand that slaves are treated well.

    But those things combined AND plus the emphasis on a woman pleasing her husband all the time. To me it just sounds like men own women. Like these women are covered up and they are property to men, to please men.

    It just makes me feel like I am created to worship Allah by following His commandments, which I agree with this part, but also by making myself accessible to a man like a caged up object(and yes, we must be treated with respect, i know that),.


    so basically men get a bunch of objects that are wrapped up(in hijab) so they own them. I mean, even slaves can be sold around, can't they? as long as they are in good treatment and not pregnant etc. But it just sounds like these women are made for mens' desires. Especially with concubinage.


    I was reading an article on how Islam liberates women. It was talking about how she doesn't need to be enslaved, to look beautiful for the public. It talked about how she doesn't need to suffer from trying to diet and get the body she wants to go wearing a bikini on the beach. This is true, and it is a beautiful statement.

    However, isn't it her duty to do this for her husband? It is always emphasized that a lady should obey and beautify herself for her husband. If she wasn't skinny enough for her husband, wouldn't she have to "strive" to get that body and look beautiful for her husband?

    See i like the idea of women being covered up outside so she isn't always trying to beautify herself for attention from boys. It makes complete sense. But at the same time, Islam basically advocates the same thing but except for your husband. Because it is your duty to do that. You cover up outside so your husband is the only one who can have access to your body, meanwhile, he can have access to three other women plus concubines.

    You have to look a certain way for your husband so that he may be satisfied with you.

    So maybe women aren't enslaved by society, but they are by their husbands (once again, they still get respect though)

    It just all sounds wrong. It makes me not want to marry. Because I can't seem to wrap my head around the fact that women can't be whom they want to be anymore.

    It is like these rules (that can be a struggle to follow) meant to protect muslimahs were created to satisfy men,

    In the western society,, its all wrong. I hate it. Its horrible. but then in Islam, I am sad to say that it feels similiar to the west but in a different way. (there are some good things about it though when it comes to women)

    I hate the feeling. But I don't feel at peace and tranquility as a female anymore. I can kind of understand husbands who abuse their rights in Islam and why they do it. Its sad.

    There are also Muslims out there who emphasize certain ideas such as how a man deserves his wife's obedience and respect therefore he is better than her, only making me think about this even more.

    I once used to enjoy attention from people because I was "beautiful" enough. But then I discovered what it truly feels like being a Muslimah, and truly felt liberated after this. But now, I feel heart broken. For myself, and the women of the west. Because i don't know what to believe anymore


    It is emphasized that Allah is displeased with the women who don't work hard enough to please their husbands. A husband must be pleased. No slacking accepted if a husband is displeased. Meanwhile, if women aren't pleased with their husbands enough (I am referring to non abusive husbands but also men who aren't working to the full extent to please their wives. Of course it is encouraged to be best to your wife, but there is nothing discouraging a man to slack every here and there), then these women are just ungrateful.

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    xboxisdead's Avatar
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    Re: Women as a slave to man. confused.

    That is what the shaitaan have convinced you and you fell for his trap. But I assure you that is not true. First of all look at the so many risq that Allah (Subahanu Wa Talaa) have given women over men. This shows how we as we human beings, especially in this era, reveals outright how ungrateful we are toward Allah. Let me list the so many things that Allah have given women over men:

    A) 2 X-chromosomes. Meaning with the two chromosomes you are prone to less diseases and genetic mutations than men goes through. In fact that are so many men specific diseases that women do not have.

    B) Long life. Allah have given women longer life span than men.

    C) Ability to express her emotions easily. Women can express her emotions much easier than a man, which means through that gives her a longer life span.

    D) Large community to supporting women. If a calamity should befall a single woman the very government will stop for her. Is there any for a man?

    E) Able to have custody of her children. If a divorce should happen, you can up and take the children with you. Not the man.

    F) Paradise are under the feet of the mother. Suffic!

    G) Experience child birth. Should a war happen a man will die to save who? That is right. Women and children.

    H) Learning ability. Women have better learning ability, memory and verbal skills than men do.

    I) Allah honored who as a gender title in the Qura'an? Man or woman? That it is right, a woman. He have a whole chapter called "Women" and not man.

    J) Who have a missing rip? A man or a woman? That right, a man. Meaning that in relationship and one loses a partner who have it easier to move on? A man or a woman? Of course, a woman. She does not have a missing rip. A man does. Meaning a man need a partner more so than a woman does.

    You cannot compare two entirely different fruits at all wanting a man wants. This a warning from Allah himself, said in the Qura'an. That a man should not wish what a woman have a vice versa. Allah have favored each over the other based on their nature. The one who truly is abusing women and using women as sex objects are the non-Muslims. Come and see in Canada all the commercial ads, and tablets they put and signs they put in street. All women showing their beauty to sell their products. All the non-Muslim women have the same idea as you are having doubts and applied.

    Western world ideology:

    A) Man and woman are equal and the same.
    B) Women should go out to work and make money just like a man.
    C) A man is only entitled to have one wife just like a woman is entitled to have one husband.
    D) The woman is the boss, she does not have to obey and please her husband at all. In fact, most of the time the husbands are weak and have to obey their wives and please her and they are nothing more than a doormat. (Did that by any chance made things better?)
    E) Women have full custody of the children regardless of how fit she is as a parent or not. Father have no say in raising his children he is nothing more than a child support financial money.
    F) A woman can have sex with as many partners as a man can have.

    Let us put Western formula and combine them together, put them in an oven and let us say what happens in the end:

    A+B+C+D+E+F=DISASTER.

    We have high rate of suicide rate in Wester wall, crime rate is unfathomable. Children are in rage and killing each other, have so much anti-social skills, huge explosion of lesbianism and homosexuality, violence are in high rate, crime rate is high, divorce is high and marriage is heading to extinction. You might complain and say how come Allah have given only the husband the right for divorce. Well in Western world they disbelieved in Allah's decree and said a woman can divorce just a man can divorce. Over 75%+ divorces are initiated by women. High rate of rape and women used as sex object because there is no walli, no guardian over her.

    Please tell me which side do you believe actually mistreat women or treat women as sex object? Islam or Non-Islam? I would say Non-Islam of course.

    You have to put it in your mind that this world is nothing more than a test, trailer and hardship. You cannot enter seven doors of paradise if you mistreat your husband and he obeys you or you are equal to him in status as he is to you. If you want equality in status then here are the requirements:

    A) You go outside to work just as he does and bring the money.
    B) You share fifty in the expense of the houses
    C) You have to share in the mahir payment with him..in fact remove mahir from the equation all the together.
    D) Both of you have to do decision making but one of you have to submit to the other's decision making because if you say I want to go left and he says he wants to go right there will be two captains fighting each other to steer the ship. That means one captain will have to overpower the other to take control of the ship. May I ask, how long do you think these relationships will last. Even if he submits and become the obedient husband women in nature will disrespect such men and find him weak and will become tyrant and abusive. Stats have shown in USA that have proven the most abused in relationship are the men but they do not speak out because there is no one to help them. Women can be worse in terms of violence and mind abuse than a man. Besides that is not going to work it will go against a verse in the Qura'an. It is not for a believing man or a woman to object in any decree that Allah have given.

    Would you complain and say the same if you as a mother have authority over a man and that man is your son a child. Remember that boy will grow up to be a man ones and he was under control by a woman, his mom. He never objected why a woman control him (his mother) or felt demeaned or felt objectified when Islam says to obey your mother and you have to be under her feet. She is a woman after all, isn't she? And he is a man isn't he? This is all done a complex system designed to maintain harmony in society, to maintain happiness in the home and all this system that you may not like is not designed for you or for the husband...is designed for that child. It is designed to build a good home for a child.

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    Re: Women as a slave to man. confused.

    Sister understand women are EQUAL to men BUT DIFFERENT. They have different bodies, different though process so they have to have different rules. Think about how the Prophet SAW said mother is more important than father by repeating obey your mother 3 times then once the father. Not to mention there so much leniency on the women like if they are good wife and mother, they can enter jannah from any of the doors. Man gets these benefits you describe such as multiple wife's but he has to be responsible for them. Which is hard to let alone one wife. There even is a special reward Allah has kept for women but has kept it hidden. Women are the beauty of life as they nature us when we are young and have a pain compacity fsr more than men!!!!! Subahanallah! If a man would go through child birth, he would lose his mind. If a woman loses her life in child birth. She becomes a shaheed! There are lots of rules and regulations because Islam ACKNOWLEDGES the beauty of women and do not want them to be corrupted or perverted. Allah know man is evil so he put these barriers so he can protect women. Doesn't that show, the importance of women?

    In terms of inheritance...why do men get twice? Because men have to use that money in taking care of others, but for the women, all that women she gets is just for her!!!! Isn't that amazing?! While at the same time the guy has to still provide for her

    - - - Updated - - -

    And of course you say Allah gets displeased with the women, but so does he with the abusive man. There are both punished severly. It is a HUGE sin to abuse one's spouse. Sometimes women get bored and divorce their husband for no reason, even men do this. Which why Allah put these laws to show people's lives are not something small and not to be thrown around. I hope this helps

    - - - Updated - - -

    islam is also the only religion to have chapter named after a woman. Did you know that Allah SWT revealed a verse when a woman was complaining about her husband who was rude to her and said to her you are my mother. Allah SWT admonished the man and spoke for the women. So my dear sister, never think Allah doesnt value women
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    Re: Women as a slave to man. confused.

    This is coming from a woman who is smarter than me: https://www.islamweb.net/en/article/...ey-to-paradise

    I am man enough to say it. This woman who posted this article is smarter than me. So what :P. Read and learn from this article:

    beying the Husband is the Key to Paradise
    Obeying the Husband is the Key to Paradise
    Publish date:28/04/2013
    Section:Marital Life
    Rate:
    165606 0 1980



    The Islamic Sharee'ah stresses that the wife is under the obligation of obeying her husband. This remains unless he commands her to disobey Allah The Exalted. She is required to obey him and exert her utmost effort to fulfill his needs in a way that makes him satisfied and thankful. This is supported by the Hadeeth where the Prophet, sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may Allah exalt his mention ), said:“If the woman performs the five daily prayers, fasts the month of Ramadan, maintains her chastity and obeys her husband, she will enter the Paradise of her Lord.” Likewise, Allah The Exalted Says (what means): {But if they obey you [once more], seek no means against them.} [Quran 4:34] Moreover, the Prophet, sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may Allah exalt his mention ), said: “Were I to order anyone to prostrate himself before anyone else, I would have ordered the woman to prostrate herself before her husband.”

    Obedience is the first right that Islam acknowledges for the husband over his wife. She is required to obey him in everything unless he commands her to do an act of disobedience. The Prophet, sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may Allah exalt his mention ), said: “No creature should be obeyed when it comes to disobeying the Creator.”

    Consequently, she is required to obey him when he commands, fulfill his request when he orders, abstain when he forbids and respond when he advises. If he commands her not to allow a certain person, whether he is a relative or not, a Mahram or non-Mahram, to enter his home when he is absent, she is required to obey him. The Messenger of Allah, sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may Allah exalt his mention ), said: “Indeed, you have a right over your wives, and your wives have a right over you. As for the right that you have over them, it is to disallow anyone whom you dislike to enter your houses.”

    Obeying the Husband is Equal to Jihaad

    There are many Sharee'ah texts indicating the greatness of the husband's right over his wife. In a Hadeeth on the authority of Ibn ‘Abbaas, may Allah be pleased with him, it was mentioned that a woman came to the Prophet, sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may Allah exalt his mention ), and said, “O Messenger of Allah, I am a delegate [from a group of] women and there are none of them, whether she knows or does not know that I would come to you, except she would want me to come to you. Allah The Almighty is the Lord of both men and women and their God, and you are the Messenger of Allah, for both men and women. Allah has prescribed Jihaad for men only; if they are victorious, their reward is great, and if they die as martyrs, they are alive with their Lord, receiving sustenance. [For women], which act of obedience is equal in reward to this?” The Messenger of Allah, sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may Allah exalt his mention ), replied: “Obeying their husbands and (being aware of and) fulfilling their rights; and few of you do that.”[At-Tabaraani and ‘Abdul-Raaziq] Here, the Messenger of Allah, sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may Allah exalt his mention ), equated the reward of making Jihaad to that of the wife obeying her husband.

    Obedient Wives

    The wife who knows her religious duties towards her husband is fully aware of the importance of obeying her husband. Mrs. Maha Jaabir says, “In order to provide the family with an atmosphere of security, protection, stability and affection, the wife is required to obey her husband in everything that is useful and beneficial. This would help to create sound humans who would go through life far removed from disturbances or imbalances. In return, Islam gave the woman her full right and made it obligatory on the husband to honor his wife, safeguard her rights and provide an honorable life for her in order to be obedient and loving."

    Mrs. Muna Al-Mu’aththin says,

    If it is obligatory on the wife to obey her husband, this is only because he bears the responsibility and she is subordinate to him. He is a caretaker of his home and responsible for those who are under his charge. Moreover, he is supposed to be more insightful and more open-minded, and to know things that the wife does not know because of his wide circle of acquaintances and his wide experience that enables him to see what his wife does not. The wise wife is the one who obeys her husband, fulfills his commands and responds to his opinions and advice willingly and sincerely. If she finds something wrong in him, from her point of view, she exchanges views with him and guides him to his mistake with leniency, kindness and conviction. Calmness and soft words work like magic.

    The disease of conceit and arrogance may cripple a woman's heart. In this respect, Mrs. ‘Abeer Murshid says, "If such a disease reaches the heart of the woman, it would be a great disaster. The marital relationship would be threatened with the most dangerous type of disputes and quarrels. The man is in charge of the family by virtue of the role that Allah The Almighty has granted him. If the wife tries to change the Creation of Allah and His norms, this would afflict her with the most harmful consequences.”

    Describing the way that she treats her husband, Mrs. Leena Al-Ghadhbaan says,

    If my husband calls me to obey Allah The Exalted and the Messenger of Allah, sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may Allah exalt his mention ), I respond to his call without annoyance because this is the way to salvation and forgiveness. If he asks me to wear decent clothes and adhere to Hijab, I obey his command because this is the way to attain success and the satisfaction of Allah The Almighty. I do not care about the customs of the community as Allah The Exalted Says (what means): {And if you obey most of those upon the earth, they will mislead you from the Way of Allah.} [Quran 6:116] If he asks me to be moderate regarding home expenses, I respond with my heart and with love and faithfulness. These are the foundations of marital life that Allah The Exalted Has established on affection and mercy. I know that when my husband gets angry at anything I might have done after advising and directing me, this may entails the Anger of Allah The Exalted.

    Mrs. Khadeejah Hijaazi says,

    One may find obedience a heavy burden; however, the wife is rewarded according to the extent of her readiness to be obedient and her sincerity in fulfilling the obligations of such obedience. The Messenger of Allah, sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may Allah exalt his mention ), praised women and clarified that the services they perform and the sacrifices they make in terms of their emotions and energies can be made by no one else. They were created to perform a sublime and important duty, and in return Allah The Exalted Has prepared a great reward for them. This reward would not be completed except with the wife’s obedience to her husband, satisfying him and avoiding what he dislikes.

    Mrs. Hanaa‘ As-Saalih says, “The man is in charge of the family. He takes care of it and observes the morals of its members and its affairs. Hence, all the members of the family are required to obey him. He is charged with the burdens of the family and working to provide for it and fulfill its needs. In this way, the family is organized on the basis that there is a caretaker and a commander, on one hand, and subjects who listen and obey on the other.”

    Limits of Obedience

    However, the obedience that is obligatory on the wife to her husband is not blind obedience or obedience without restrictions, conditions or limits. Rather, it is the obedience of the righteous wife to the righteous and pious husband whose personality she trusts and believes in his sincerity and righteousness. Obedience that is based on consultation and mutual understanding promotes the entity of the family and its conditions and reinforces its foundations and strength.

    The spouses are advised to consult each other with regard to all family affairs. Indeed, there is no consultant better than a faithful and truthful wife. She supports her husband, guides him with her emotions, protects him with her instinct and provides him with her opinion. The Messenger of Allah, sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may Allah exalt his mention ), would consult his wives and follow their opinion in important matters. He consulted his wife, Umm Salamah, may Allah be pleased with her, in a most critical situation. Her consultation and wise opinion were important in putting an end to that crisis and returning matters to normality.

    Finally, we find that Islam has organized the rights of spouses in such a way that if each of them perfectly fulfills the other's rights, he, as well as those around him, will live in a state of happiness. However, if one of them misuses this right, the marital life will fail as it is a partnership between the spouses. Islam acknowledges the rights of the wife over her husband just as it acknowledges the husband’s rights over his wife. Additionally, it has clarified the duties of each. If both of them follow the instructions and each of them knows his Islamic rights and duties, the family will live happily and will be encompassed by tranquility and the mercy of Allah The Almighty.


    ----------------

    https://islamqa.info/en/answers/1366...ey-her-husband

    Question
    Why is it that when people get married the women has to do what the man says ?

    Answer
    Praise be to Allah.

    Praise be to Allaah.
    What the Muslim has to do when he learns the ruling of Islam is to submit to it and believe in it even if he does not know the wisdom behind it. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

    “It is not for a believer, man or woman, when Allaah and His Messenger have decreed a matter that they should have any option in their decision. And whoever disobeys Allaah and His Messenger, he has indeed strayed into a plain error”

    [al-Ahzaab 33:36]

    He should be certain that there is the utmost wisdom behind all the rulings of Islam, but that wisdom may be hidden and he may not understand it. In that case he should realize that this is due to his lack of knowledge and the shortcomings of human intellect, which is not free of defects.

    When a man and a woman come together in marriage and live together, there are bound to be differences in opinion between them, and one party must have the final say in order to resolve the issue, otherwise the differences will multiply and disputes will increase. So there has to be someone in charge, otherwise the marriage will founder.

    Hence Islam made the husband the protector and maintainer of the wife and gave him the responsibility of heading the household, because he is more perfect in rational thinking than her in most cases. This means that it is obligatory for her to obey him. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

    “Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allaah has made one of them to excel the other, and because they spend (to support them) from their means” [al-Nisaa’ 4:34]

    Among the reasons for that are the following:

    1 – Men are more able to bear this responsibility, just as women are more able than men to take care of the children and the household affairs. So each of them has his or her natural role and position.

    2 – In Islam, men are obliged to spend on their wives; the wife does not have to work or earn a living. Even if she has an independent income or she becomes rich, the husband is still obliged to spend on her as much as she needs. Because he bears the responsibility of spending, he is made the protector and maintainer of his wife and is put in charge (of the household).

    Hence we see chaos in the societies which go against that: men do not shoulder the responsibility of spending on their wives, and wives are not obliged to obey their husbands; they go out of the home whenever they want and leave the marital nest empty and neglect their children. A woman has to work hard even if that is at the expense of her house and family.

    We should also take note of the following points:

    1 – The woman will be rewarded by Allaah for her obedience to her husband.

    2 – This obedience should not involve disobeying Allaah. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “There is no obedience to any created being if it involves disobedience towards the Creator.”

    3 – Just as the husband has the right to be obeyed, Islam also tells him to treat his wife kindly. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

    “And they (women) have rights (over their husbands as regards living expenses) similar (to those of their husbands) over them (as regards obedience and respect) to what is reasonable”

    [al-Baqarah 2:228]

    So he should not mistreat or oppress her, or issue harsh commands to her. Rather he should deal with her in a wise manner, and tell her to do things which are in her interests, his interests and the interests of the household, in a kind and gentle manner.

    The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “The best of you is the one who is best to his wife, and I am the best of you to my wives.”.
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    Re: Women as a slave to man. confused.

    Below is a very short video ( only 4:29 ) and hope it help you to see what shaytan does not want you to see:
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    Re: Women as a slave to man. confused.

    Quote Originally Posted by Islami.mu'min View Post
    Assalamu alaykum. I hope this post doesn't offend anyone, I would like to speak out my thoughts on this because I have been thinking about it recently. I don't mean to post this to spread hate, but I truly want someone to help me. So please reply if you are willing to discuss

    DO NOT read if you are currently experiencing doubts or you are ignorant enough to easily follow an opinion. This topic has to do with the status of women in Islam.


    We can all agree that Islam is liberating to women, releasing them from the slavery of society and them being looked down as objects, right?


    But at the same time, sometimes when I hear this, I cringe, unfortunately, and I truly wish I wouldn't. I really do believe that Islam views women as human beings, but then I get mixed feelings.

    I start to think, they are not an object to society, but they are just made for pleasure of their husbands, and only their husbands. So kind of like they are objects to their husbands i guess. Listen to what I have to say about it.


    I mean, Eve was created for Adam's pleasure.

    Women wear hijab, men have up to four wives, men get concubines. Now believe me, I understand the beauty behind the hijab and I do enjoy wearing it. And i understand the reasoning behind men getting four wives, and I understand that slaves are treated well.

    But those things combined AND plus the emphasis on a woman pleasing her husband all the time. To me it just sounds like men own women. Like these women are covered up and they are property to men, to please men.

    It just makes me feel like I am created to worship Allah by following His commandments, which I agree with this part, but also by making myself accessible to a man like a caged up object(and yes, we must be treated with respect, i know that),.


    so basically men get a bunch of objects that are wrapped up(in hijab) so they own them. I mean, even slaves can be sold around, can't they? as long as they are in good treatment and not pregnant etc. But it just sounds like these women are made for mens' desires. Especially with concubinage.


    I was reading an article on how Islam liberates women. It was talking about how she doesn't need to be enslaved, to look beautiful for the public. It talked about how she doesn't need to suffer from trying to diet and get the body she wants to go wearing a bikini on the beach. This is true, and it is a beautiful statement.

    However, isn't it her duty to do this for her husband? It is always emphasized that a lady should obey and beautify herself for her husband. If she wasn't skinny enough for her husband, wouldn't she have to "strive" to get that body and look beautiful for her husband?

    See i like the idea of women being covered up outside so she isn't always trying to beautify herself for attention from boys. It makes complete sense. But at the same time, Islam basically advocates the same thing but except for your husband. Because it is your duty to do that. You cover up outside so your husband is the only one who can have access to your body, meanwhile, he can have access to three other women plus concubines.

    You have to look a certain way for your husband so that he may be satisfied with you.

    So maybe women aren't enslaved by society, but they are by their husbands (once again, they still get respect though)

    It just all sounds wrong. It makes me not want to marry. Because I can't seem to wrap my head around the fact that women can't be whom they want to be anymore.

    It is like these rules (that can be a struggle to follow) meant to protect muslimahs were created to satisfy men,

    In the western society,, its all wrong. I hate it. Its horrible. but then in Islam, I am sad to say that it feels similiar to the west but in a different way. (there are some good things about it though when it comes to women)

    I hate the feeling. But I don't feel at peace and tranquility as a female anymore. I can kind of understand husbands who abuse their rights in Islam and why they do it. Its sad.

    There are also Muslims out there who emphasize certain ideas such as how a man deserves his wife's obedience and respect therefore he is better than her, only making me think about this even more.

    I once used to enjoy attention from people because I was "beautiful" enough. But then I discovered what it truly feels like being a Muslimah, and truly felt liberated after this. But now, I feel heart broken. For myself, and the women of the west. Because i don't know what to believe anymore


    It is emphasized that Allah is displeased with the women who don't work hard enough to please their husbands. A husband must be pleased. No slacking accepted if a husband is displeased. Meanwhile, if women aren't pleased with their husbands enough (I am referring to non abusive husbands but also men who aren't working to the full extent to please their wives. Of course it is encouraged to be best to your wife, but there is nothing discouraging a man to slack every here and there), then these women are just ungrateful.
    To me it sounds like you are doing a good job at understanding the rights and duties of women in Islaam and the wisdom behind those rules, but you somehow get carried away in the waswasa of shaytaan every now and then.
    in this post you make it sound like men only have rights and women only have duties towards each other. I think you know very well that is not the case. men have just as much duties and responsibilities towards their wives. on the other side it seems like you DO know your rights as a female, (so you do know you have rights after all and also enjoy those) but you do not like the duties.
    However, you can't have both.
    So what do you want...you don't want to look attractive to society (which is logical) but you neither want to look attractive to your husband)? you want to neglect yourself entirely or what is it that you want?

    If you do not look attractive to your husband, then some other will...and then it's all downhill from that moment. I'm not saying it will be totally your fault then...of course the husband also is wrong in that case...but I am saying that you ARE giving it that extra push then.

    so what will it be?
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    Islami.mu'min's Avatar
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    Re: Women as a slave to man. confused.

    Hey guys thank you for the replies. JazakAllahu khayran.

    I was in a very bad state of mind when I said this so sorry if it sounded weird lol. It happens often.

    I often to my friends for help and they will sit and talk to me and sometimes I just have to sit and think to myself. I think they are starting to get tired of me (I dont blame them, but they still help me all the time) because I always go over the same problems over and over again so I went on here. Yesterday my friend helped and it worked so I’m fine for today.

    Sister understand women are EQUAL to men BUT DIFFERENT. They have different bodies, different though process so they have to have different rules. Think about how the Prophet SAW said mother is more important than father by repeating obey your mother 3 times then once the father. Not to mention there so much leniency on the women like if they are good wife and mother, they can enter jannah from any of the doors. Man gets these benefits you describe such as multiple wife's but he has to be responsible for them. Which is hard to let alone one wife. There even is a special reward Allah has kept for women but has kept it hidden. Women are the beauty of life as they nature us when we are young and have a pain compacity fsr more than men!!!!! Subahanallah! If a man would go through child birth, he would lose his mind. If a woman loses her life in child birth. She becomes a shaheed! There are lots of rules and regulations because Islam ACKNOWLEDGES the beauty of women and do not want them to be corrupted or perverted. Allah know man is evil so he put these barriers so he can protect women. Doesn't that show, the importance of women?

    In terms of inheritance...why do men get twice? Because men have to use that money in taking care of others, but for the women, all that women she gets is just for her!!!! Isn't that amazing?! While at the same time the guy has to still provide for her

    - - - Updated - - -

    And of course you say Allah gets displeased with the women, but so does he with the abusive man. There are both punished severly. It is a HUGE sin to abuse one's spouse. Sometimes women get bored and divorce their husband for no reason, even men do this. Which why Allah put these laws to show people's lives are not something small and not to be thrown around. I hope this helps

    - - - Updated - - -

    islam is also the only religion to have chapter named after a woman. Did you know that Allah SWT revealed a verse when a woman was complaining about her husband who was rude to her and said to her you are my mother. Allah SWT admonished the man and spoke for the women. So my dear sister, never think Allah doesnt value women
    I really like these replies and thank you for putting in the time. I‘m just very exhausted because I can never seem view things the right way because I always keep doubting and changing my mind. It impacts my faith and the way I view religion and Allah. Tomorrow, I might just forget and dismiss everything I learned yesterday and go over the same problem once again, looking for better explanations. I don’t know how much better it can get at this point. Thankfully I have good friends who try explaining and getting me to understand things, but I just keep wanting MORE and MORE to the point where they are quite tired of me.
    Last edited by Islami.mu'min; 08-10-2020 at 03:05 PM.

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    Re: Women as a slave to man. confused.


    —-

    “It is such a hassle trying to get a woman to sleep with you."

    "Yeah tell me about it. You have to marry her first and that means going through her family, her parents, her protective father. Pay for a wedding, mahr, etc. And that's just the start. Who wants to spend his whole life being tied to a woman, responsible for taking care of her and possibly a bunch of kids? I just want to have no-commitment fun for a night or for however long it suits me. Such a hassle!"

    "Such a hassle!"
    "I wish there were an easier way to get some action."
    "Well, maybe there is..."
    "What do you mean?"
    "What if we start telling people that marriage is actually a way to oppress women?"
    "Who would believe that?"
    "That's the brilliant part! Everything that protects women from being taken advantage of by guys like us, we'll portray as holding women back, oppressing them, and denying them freedom and choice."
    "Hmm...sounds intriguing but I don't know. Would be a tough sell."
    "C'mon man! Use your imagination."
    "Ok so, one of the biggest obstacles is the father. Maybe if we could get daughters to think of their dads as overprotective..."
    "Yeah except we dial it up to 11! We get them to think of their fathers as slavemasters! We get them to think of their fathers as bumbling insecure buffoons who take pleasure in controlling their daughters and making them suffer."
    "But why would daughters think that about their own fathers?"
    "We just tell them that their dads are part of this massive social system with the sole purpose of abusing women and frustrating their interests. We can even name the system after fathers themselves."
    "Dad-tatorship?"
    "I was thinking 'patriarchy.'"
    "I like it!"
    "We can portray fathers as being part of this oppressive patriarchy and portray ourselves as the white knights who are there to save these poor innocent girls from this abusive system of control and abuse."
    "I love it! But what if the fathers deny that they're a part of such a conspiracy against their own wives and daughters?"
    "Hmm, good point... I know! We'll tell them it's 'internalized patriarchy!'"
    "That's just crazy enough that it might work!"
    "Once we establish all that, we tell women that the best way to fight against this evil patriarchy is to abandon their father's home and practice 'sexual autonomy' with guys like us."
    "I like the sound of that! What about their religious commitments? Won't they feel bad about violating their ethics so brazenly?"
    "Easy, we'll tell them religion is part of the evil patriarchy. Or if that's too much, we'll say that wherever religion speaks about women, it is doing so on the basis of illegitimate patriarchy and therefore needs to be reinterpreted to be more 'equitable.' Obviously we can portray all male religious scholars as being malicious control freaks too."
    "Genius!"
    "Now let's go spread the message and sit back and wait for the ladies to come to us to exercise their new found freedom!"
    "Yes! By the way, what do we call this radical new message of 'hope'?"
    "How about 'womanism' or better yet, 'feminism'? That way they'll think that we're trying to liberate women and serve their interests."

    (Not my work....But food for thought!)


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    Studentofdeed's Avatar
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    Re: Women as a slave to man. confused.

    Anytime you doubt yourself just come here and read these posts or post something. We would be happy to help. Just remember Islam is the only religion that is perfect and just. Why would Allah create something only to neglect it? Glad you sre feeling better
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    xboxisdead's Avatar
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    Re: Women as a slave to man. confused.

    Quote Originally Posted by muslimah__ View Post

    —-

    “It is such a hassle trying to get a woman to sleep with you."

    "Yeah tell me about it. You have to marry her first and that means going through her family, her parents, her protective father. Pay for a wedding, mahr, etc. And that's just the start. Who wants to spend his whole life being tied to a woman, responsible for taking care of her and possibly a bunch of kids? I just want to have no-commitment fun for a night or for however long it suits me. Such a hassle!"

    "Such a hassle!"
    "I wish there were an easier way to get some action."
    "Well, maybe there is..."
    "What do you mean?"
    "What if we start telling people that marriage is actually a way to oppress women?"
    "Who would believe that?"
    "That's the brilliant part! Everything that protects women from being taken advantage of by guys like us, we'll portray as holding women back, oppressing them, and denying them freedom and choice."
    "Hmm...sounds intriguing but I don't know. Would be a tough sell."
    "C'mon man! Use your imagination."
    "Ok so, one of the biggest obstacles is the father. Maybe if we could get daughters to think of their dads as overprotective..."
    "Yeah except we dial it up to 11! We get them to think of their fathers as slavemasters! We get them to think of their fathers as bumbling insecure buffoons who take pleasure in controlling their daughters and making them suffer."
    "But why would daughters think that about their own fathers?"
    "We just tell them that their dads are part of this massive social system with the sole purpose of abusing women and frustrating their interests. We can even name the system after fathers themselves."
    "Dad-tatorship?"
    "I was thinking 'patriarchy.'"
    "I like it!"
    "We can portray fathers as being part of this oppressive patriarchy and portray ourselves as the white knights who are there to save these poor innocent girls from this abusive system of control and abuse."
    "I love it! But what if the fathers deny that they're a part of such a conspiracy against their own wives and daughters?"
    "Hmm, good point... I know! We'll tell them it's 'internalized patriarchy!'"
    "That's just crazy enough that it might work!"
    "Once we establish all that, we tell women that the best way to fight against this evil patriarchy is to abandon their father's home and practice 'sexual autonomy' with guys like us."
    "I like the sound of that! What about their religious commitments? Won't they feel bad about violating their ethics so brazenly?"
    "Easy, we'll tell them religion is part of the evil patriarchy. Or if that's too much, we'll say that wherever religion speaks about women, it is doing so on the basis of illegitimate patriarchy and therefore needs to be reinterpreted to be more 'equitable.' Obviously we can portray all male religious scholars as being malicious control freaks too."
    "Genius!"
    "Now let's go spread the message and sit back and wait for the ladies to come to us to exercise their new found freedom!"
    "Yes! By the way, what do we call this radical new message of 'hope'?"
    "How about 'womanism' or better yet, 'feminism'? That way they'll think that we're trying to liberate women and serve their interests."

    (Not my work....But food for thought!)


    Have you seen what happened in the African community in USA. They started this experiment there actually. Men are idiots. Down to patriarchal society. Destroy masculinity. Who needs men. Men are redundant. Men are stupid. Men oppress women. A world run by women will be successful. If women ruled the world there will be peace and harmony and justice. Men are evil. Women are not. In fact, now we are saying women are actually angels. Allah have warned placing angel into a female sex. If you call angels female you become a disbeliever, a kafir and hellfire is your place. But we do that now, we actually call angels female and give female body and we are ok with it and in many worlds make sense. We even now up it and called female Goddesses. A female God.

    With all that is placed in the African community which now is spreading world wide...family is destroyed, marriage is non-existence, over 85% of boys go to prison and have crime on their belt and add to that more than 70% of girls get rapped, molested and twerk and sexualize their body from earliest age to a point now that girls as young as 12 get pregnant and become single mothers repeating cycle of social diseases. If this is the route that Muslim women and men want...I aint going to stop you. This world is only temporarily....you want this world to be your paradise then take the Qura'an and hand it to other Muslim family denounce your religion. Now this world is your paradise...do whaaatever you want...set whatever rules satisfy your inner self. you want this world to be your prison and after your life is your paradise, then take the Qura'an and apply word by word in your life and do not even say an F word. Lower your gaze and do not look at the opposite sex and apply the good and avoid the harraam. Allah said husband have higher status over wife in marriage then so be it. Smile and think to yourself, he did say mothers have higher status over fathers and if I have sons I have higher status over a man and with me it is for life, but with that strange woman who marries my son or me married to my husband, it is only temporarily for either divorce or death could separate us and our duties to each other is over. But me as a mother...I will always have status over this man (who I call my son) and no death can separate us and there is no divorce between us. I take it!
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    Alpha Dude's Avatar
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    Re: Women as a slave to man. confused.

    Assalamu alaykum,

    Iblis does not disbelieve in the existence of Allah. He has seen him directly and knows without doubt that he exists. His kufr is due to his disobedience - out of pride, arrogance and stubbornness. He did not prostrate to Adam who he felt was inferior, despite being commanded by Allah.

    We humans are weak and due to our lack of knowledge and wisdom of all things, we tend to judge commands from Allah in light of our limited world experience.

    It is, in fact, a big arrogance on our part. We are in effect saying to Allah that we think we know better.

    Know that in the absence of a God, there is no such thing as morality - what one society deems moral or right will differ from what another one will. I.e. we are in no position to dictate or think that we know better than Allah. If we think something is wrong or hurtful, we should realise our deficiencies and submit to the wisdom of Allah: we may not know the true wisdom behind something, but when an All Powerful being has commanded you to do it, you would be foolish not to.

    Similarly, what you feel is bad about a woman taking care of her appearance for a man or being seen as someone who has to do service to them, other women in other societies will think is perfectly normal.

    Allah has assigned different roles for different people and it is down to us to interact with different people according to the roles they have been assigned. E.g. parents, judges, youngsters, teachers, etc. We deal with our parents and elders with respect and youngsters with love. We are to respect our teachers. In the same manner, women are to show a degree of respect for their husbands, due to the role assigned to him.

    Think also of the wider picture: Islam provides a means of protecting society from spiritual harm. A marriage is a way to fulfil desires in a halal way. Both husband and wife should take care of themselves in order to protect the other from straying. Men are naturally more inclined toward physical attraction than women, it is in their nature, so perhaps this is why women are advised to care for their appearance more.
    Last edited by Alpha Dude; 08-10-2020 at 09:40 PM.
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    Islami.mu'min's Avatar
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    Re: Women as a slave to man. confused.

    I got a notification from my laptop that @xboxisdead replied with a few posts and a link. It seemed interesting and helpful so I was going to read it, but I don't know why, it isn't showing up on the forum... Did they get deleted or something?
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    Islami.mu'min's Avatar
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    Re: Women as a slave to man. confused.

    Let me list the so many things that Allah have given women over men:
    I'm not denying that we've been given blessings. Men and women have many different blessings.

    And as for domestic violence. Statistically, women are abused more than men (either way, it dosnt make it right.).. If you look it up you will find information on this. And in muslim families, it is more common for the women to be abused.

    Western world ideology:
    I don't think you understand. I do not agree with the western ideology at all.

    I dont even understand Islam anymore. I dont even want to get married in the future because of this.

    It feels like Im put on earth to worship and satisfies my husbands desires.

    There are SO MANY hadith talking about the cursed women etc. SO many. Just for something as disobery their husbands. You know how easily men can use and abuse their wives? They can order anything as long as it doesnt go against the will of Allah. They can use so many hadith narrations. the prostration one, your husband is your hell or heaven. Yet when they abuse you by overburdening you, you still have to strive to please your husband because he is your hell or heaven.

    How easily men can divotrce their wives but yet "the woman who divorces without a good reason will not smell the fragrance of paradise". How can she even divorce without a good reason when she has to go to a shariah judge?!!?

    And a man can prevent a lady from seeing her family. It is sinful on him but she has to obey him.

    But the moment a lady is wrongful or just not being good enough. Her husband beat her. And yes I have heard so many explaanations on "how to properly beat your wife the islamic way".

    THe only thing you see about men in the hadiths is "the best of you are the best to your wives" or a few other words of encouragement. Which is good I understand. But as for women the amount of hadiths threatening her to be cursed her, prayers wont be accepted, she can be beat by her husband, etc. On top of that, women have to always struggle to be modest, stay inside all the time, make themselves available to their husbands. This quarantine I took a minute to realize how much I miss STRUGGLING in school and always being busy all the time studying for tests. I cant even handle staying inside like a Muslim woman is encouraged to. You do realize that humans can get severe depression from not going out. ANd then even when men have all those rights over one wife, they can still get more, and in times of war, get sex slaves and 70 hurs in heaven. Are women just servants to men ?? Women are just imprisoned values to enjoy at home. I feel worthless now and its going to stay like that for awhile. And yet you mentioned women being able to to express themselves emotionally as a gift. Women are created more emotional and yet these rules are imposed on us. Muhammad saw said to be gentle because we are emotional yet there are TONS of hadith that sound degrading and are SO hurtful. I dont know if Ill ever be able to view Islam the same way again. Ever since these few months and the stuff I have been learning about Islam, My self esteem has been shattered and broken. I look at myself in the mirror not feeling human anymore and that my only purpose is to worship Allah by satisfying and devoting myself to a man who can easily trade me out for anything else.

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    Islami.mu'min's Avatar
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    Re: Women as a slave to man. confused.

    The interesting thing is when you find the rights towards the husband in regard to obedience in all matters, islamic websites will list so much with all types of evidence cursing woman and emphasizing that the wife has to do everything for the husband (as long as it dosnt disobey Allah). BUt as soon as these websites talk about the rights over the wife.... There are things like treat her kindly etc but there isnt really much evidence from the quran and sunnah that emphasizes this. Its like the most crucial right of a wife is tha she gets her dowry and financial rights?!? It really isnt though .. Its like Islam is biased against women

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    'Abdullah's Avatar
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    Re: Women as a slave to man. confused.

    Quote Originally Posted by Islami.mu'min View Post
    The interesting thing is when you find the rights towards the husband in regard to obedience in all matters, islamic websites will list so much with all types of evidence cursing woman and emphasizing that the wife has to do everything for the husband (as long as it dosnt disobey Allah). BUt as soon as these websites talk about the rights over the wife.... There are things like treat her kindly etc but there isnt really much evidence from the quran and sunnah that emphasizes this. Its like the most crucial right of a wife is tha she gets her dowry and financial rights?!? It really isnt though .. Its like Islam is biased against women
    Thats not true sister. Islam is a religion which provides perfect justice and advocates for the rights of women. If you see women being abused in Muslim countries then it has nothing to do with Islamic teachings. Its because of poor understanding of the Deen, and giving preference to culture over Islam and its teachings.

    For financial rights, woman can keep all their wealth and property. Husband has no right to use that without her permission. Husband is also responsible to provide for his wife and kids, and she gets share in the inheritance from her male relatives including husband. In some cases, the share in inheritance is more than men and in some cases it is less because she has no financial responsibility & she keeps all what she makes. So far sounds great, right? But I know many husbands don't act on this. They take the salary of their wives and spend it without her consent. They want their wives to do a job so that she can contribute towards the house expenses. In many cultures, women are not given any inheritance in the property. I am talking about Muslim countries like Pakistan, India and others. Should I blame Islam for it? No, because Islamic teachings are clear on what the rights of women are, its their husbands who don't follow Islam and rather follow the culture. My advice is if possible marry a person who knows Islam and strictly follows its teachings. One who follows Islam, can't take away the rights of other people because he knows that he will be answerable to Allah for that on the day of Judgement.

    As far as Islamic teachings and rights of women are concerned, I have discussed this briefly in another thread, link is below:
    Confused on obedience of wife
    Last edited by 'Abdullah; 2 Weeks Ago at 06:06 PM.

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    Islami.mu'min's Avatar
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    Re: Women as a slave to man. confused.

    Quote Originally Posted by 'Abdullah View Post
    Thats not true sister. Islam is a religion which provides perfect justice and advocates for the rights of women. If you see women being abused in Muslim countries then it has nothing to do with Islamic teachings. Its because of poor understanding of the Deen, and giving preference to culture over Islam and its teachings.

    For financial rights, woman can keep all their wealth and property. Husband has no right to use that without her permission. Husband is also responsible to provide for his wife and kids, and she gets share in the inheritance from her male relatives including husband. In some cases, the share in inheritance is more than men and in some cases it is less because she has no financial responsibility & she keeps all what she makes. So far sounds great, right? But I know many husbands don't act on this. They take the salary of their wives and spend it without her consent. They want their wives to do a job so that she can contribute towards the house expenses. In many cultures, women are not given any inheritance in the property. I am talking about Muslim countries like Pakistan, India and others. Should I blame Islam for it? No, because Islamic teachings are clear on what the rights of women are, its their husbands who don't follow Islam and rather follow the culture. My advice is if possible marry a person who knows Islam and strictly follows its teachings. One who follows Islam, can't take away the rights of other people because he knows that he will be answerable to Allah for that on the day of Judgement.

    As far as Islamic teachings and rights of women are concerned, I have discussed this briefly in another thread, link is below:
    Confused on obedience of wife
    Sorry I might’ve been confusing at the end of my paragraph. I understand that women have their financial rights but that isn’t the important part! I’d rather care for the quality of my marriage rather than what I am provided with. You can have husbands ordering around their wives to do so many petty thinngs that they can easily do themselves and then they just come home and act like a boss. There is nothing preventinng them from doing this is there? He’s “kind” enough to give them their money, housing and take advantage of the obedience part and then do what they want in their house. But if a lady asks her to do something and he says no. She cant ask anymore otherwise its “nagging”. I thought being involved inside the house was supposed to be a family thing. It is true that muhammad phuh helped around the house, but it that really a requirement? He didn’t slap his wives, but that doesn’t mean you can’t do so. Men being lazy jerks is a common problem everywhere and I really thought that maybe there could be some tthings that speak out against this. I mean, even my sister asked my brother to wash after his own dishes once and he flipped out because he got mad that he works (for himself mostly) meanwhile my sister used to have to wash after the whole family back when she’d go to work and school up till 9, 10 pm which is wayyy later. AndnI have come to a realization point, I just need to ACCEPT it. The wife’s duty is to obey and not complain no matter what even if he is a lazy jerk. And I don’t understand this one hadith btw if you could explain it

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    Re: Women as a slave to man. confused.

    In a world of 1.5 billion Muslims their are a variety of beliefs.

    For example I have some Muslim family members. One is a lady That does not cover her hair and is married to a Catholic man. She is very nice and honorable. Another is a lady who covers up completely with a niqab and is married to a Muslim man. She is very nice and honorable.

    I don’t know of many Muslim men in the world with multiple wives. I do know polygamy occurs in the USA in Utah when it comes to some of the Mormons though.

    And some Muslim countries allow women to dress as they want.
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    Re: Women as a slave to man. confused.

    Quote Originally Posted by Islami.mu'min View Post
    Sorry I might’ve been confusing at the end of my paragraph. I understand that women have their financial rights but that isn’t the important part! I’d rather care for the quality of my marriage rather than what I am provided with. You can have husbands ordering around their wives to do so many petty thinngs that they can easily do themselves and then they just come home and act like a boss. There is nothing preventinng them from doing this is there? He’s “kind” enough to give them their money, housing and take advantage of the obedience part and then do what they want in their house. But if a lady asks her to do something and he says no. She cant ask anymore otherwise its “nagging”. I thought being involved inside the house was supposed to be a family thing. It is true that muhammad phuh helped around the house, but it that really a requirement? He didn’t slap his wives, but that doesn’t mean you can’t do so. Men being lazy jerks is a common problem everywhere and I really thought that maybe there could be some tthings that speak out against this. I mean, even my sister asked my brother to wash after his own dishes once and he flipped out because he got mad that he works (for himself mostly) meanwhile my sister used to have to wash after the whole family back when she’d go to work and school up till 9, 10 pm which is wayyy later. AndnI have come to a realization point, I just need to ACCEPT it. The wife’s duty is to obey and not complain no matter what even if he is a lazy jerk. And I don’t understand this one hadith btw if you could explain it
    Let me tell you that concept of equality is not working in non-Muslim countries. Don't be fooled by their pamphlet. When non-Muslim women asked and fought for equality and they got it...the mahrim on them is lifted. The asking for a father's permission to marrying this men is lifted. The obeying your husband in non-Muslim countries is lifted. Husband rights in non-Muslim countries are not only not protected but removed and lifted. It is replaced by Homer Simpson sitcoms ideology and Family Guys. Non-Muslim women is how you want to believe it is (but it is not) "liberated". Like men they can go and come as they please. They can chat with any men as they please. They can have boyfriends and even girlfriends as they please. Clothing to non-Muslim that give them shame and modesty is form of oppression, form of oppressing their sexual liberations. Remove the braw. Remove the cloth, show the flesh. Non-Muslim women are not stopping, they complain why men can go shirtless while women have to cover their breast. We are equal, "They scream!" I do not need men to take care of men financially. I am my own women. I am my own person. I am smart if not smarter than a man. I can do everything a man can do and better. We are equal as partners and we should work as unity as partner and no one is boss of another. He is free to do whatever he wants, I am free to do whatever. If I find him mean to me or abusive I will kick his <censor> out of the house and call the police.

    Sister is the above scenario much close to what you are thinking of? Close to what you want? Yeah, let me tell you. The above scenario is failure beyond comprehension. The above scenario is now producing a wedge between the sexes, the attraction between the sexes is fading away and the above scenario is producing vice and evil and destruction to society. Ones the attraction between the sexes slowly and surely fade away....sexual vice and deviance will follow from BOTH sexes. Didn't you guys hear of a sister who sexually molested her sister by placing rocks in ...erm....and she wrote about it? Have women in non-Muslim country completely lost their shame, honor and modesty? Do they not walk in tight revealing clothes all the time (especially in summer) and wear pants like men? Aren't these women so masculine now and aggressive, rude and use profanity more than men? Have their men not started increasing in sexual deviance of homosexuality and increase in molesting boys? Women are going toward lesbianism and molesting girls? Isn't feminist and women liberation and women equality are all started by lesbianism? Is this whom you want to follow and be your leader is a lesbian women?

    K. Fine. Sister, we can make an arrangement where you do not need to be financially taking care of by the husband. Sister, it is your obligatory duty to go outside, to go work, to generate money, to compete with men, to work aside men, to lose your dignity, to lose your shame, to lose your femininity and become equal and if not better than a man. Just do me a favor...one favor. Do not get married. Because you will NOT BE ABLE to fulfill a husband's right and that is haraam and you have NO RIGHT to do that... no right to take a man's heart for yourself and then brainwash him or manipulate him or convince him to depart of his rights. If he himself is not the person who thinks like you which are either called dayyouth, or Muslim by name only or liberal Muslim or ignorant Muslim who doesn't even know about his rights (in that case do not marry him because you are taking advantage of his ignorance and that makes you a pure evil person) or democratic believers or mostly non-Muslim men you can go marry those. Better yet, I understood from a shiekh that a woman can be the boss of her husband if she marries the following qualifications: He is weak, he is a retard unable to formulate one plus one equals two, he doesn't work, he doesn't generate money, he cannot think for himself, you have to change his diaper mostly, he is of weak character, by all means YOU the woman are the qayamah over him. What woman will find that attractive O_O only weak women will. In that case, that is true love if I have not seen one!!

    Sister if you agree above not to marry a man, a good Muslim man then do what you want. I aint stopping you. If you want to use sperm bank to make babies outside of marriage I am not going to stop you. It is your body and you accept the consequence of your action. Just do not birth a boy. Have only girls. That is all.

  23. #19
    William Wallace's Avatar
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    Re: Women as a slave to man. confused.

    Quote Originally Posted by xboxisdead View Post
    That is what the shaitaan have convinced you and you fell for his trap. But I assure you that is not true. First of all look at the so many risq that Allah (Subahanu Wa Talaa) have given women over men. This shows how we as we human beings, especially in this era, reveals outright how ungrateful we are toward Allah. Let me list the so many things that Allah have given women over men:

    A) 2 X-chromosomes. Meaning with the two chromosomes you are prone to less diseases and genetic mutations than men goes through. In fact that are so many men specific diseases that women do not have.

    B) Long life. Allah have given women longer life span than men.

    C) Ability to express her emotions easily. Women can express her emotions much easier than a man, which means through that gives her a longer life span.

    D) Large community to supporting women. If a calamity should befall a single woman the very government will stop for her. Is there any for a man?

    E) Able to have custody of her children. If a divorce should happen, you can up and take the children with you. Not the man.

    F) Paradise are under the feet of the mother. Suffic!

    G) Experience child birth. Should a war happen a man will die to save who? That is right. Women and children.

    H) Learning ability. Women have better learning ability, memory and verbal skills than men do.

    I) Allah honored who as a gender title in the Qura'an? Man or woman? That it is right, a woman. He have a whole chapter called "Women" and not man.

    J) Who have a missing rip? A man or a woman? That right, a man. Meaning that in relationship and one loses a partner who have it easier to move on? A man or a woman? Of course, a woman. She does not have a missing rip. A man does. Meaning a man need a partner more so than a woman does.

    You cannot compare two entirely different fruits at all wanting a man wants. This a warning from Allah himself, said in the Qura'an. That a man should not wish what a woman have a vice versa. Allah have favored each over the other based on their nature. The one who truly is abusing women and using women as sex objects are the non-Muslims. Come and see in Canada all the commercial ads, and tablets they put and signs they put in street. All women showing their beauty to sell their products. All the non-Muslim women have the same idea as you are having doubts and applied.

    Western world ideology:

    A) Man and woman are equal and the same.
    B) Women should go out to work and make money just like a man.
    C) A man is only entitled to have one wife just like a woman is entitled to have one husband.
    D) The woman is the boss, she does not have to obey and please her husband at all. In fact, most of the time the husbands are weak and have to obey their wives and please her and they are nothing more than a doormat. (Did that by any chance made things better?)
    E) Women have full custody of the children regardless of how fit she is as a parent or not. Father have no say in raising his children he is nothing more than a child support financial money.
    F) A woman can have sex with as many partners as a man can have.

    Let us put Western formula and combine them together, put them in an oven and let us say what happens in the end:

    A+B+C+D+E+F=DISASTER.

    We have high rate of suicide rate in Wester wall, crime rate is unfathomable. Children are in rage and killing each other, have so much anti-social skills, huge explosion of lesbianism and homosexuality, violence are in high rate, crime rate is high, divorce is high and marriage is heading to extinction. You might complain and say how come Allah have given only the husband the right for divorce. Well in Western world they disbelieved in Allah's decree and said a woman can divorce just a man can divorce. Over 75%+ divorces are initiated by women. High rate of rape and women used as sex object because there is no walli, no guardian over her.

    Please tell me which side do you believe actually mistreat women or treat women as sex object? Islam or Non-Islam? I would say Non-Islam of course.

    You have to put it in your mind that this world is nothing more than a test, trailer and hardship. You cannot enter seven doors of paradise if you mistreat your husband and he obeys you or you are equal to him in status as he is to you. If you want equality in status then here are the requirements:

    A) You go outside to work just as he does and bring the money.
    B) You share fifty in the expense of the houses
    C) You have to share in the mahir payment with him..in fact remove mahir from the equation all the together.
    D) Both of you have to do decision making but one of you have to submit to the other's decision making because if you say I want to go left and he says he wants to go right there will be two captains fighting each other to steer the ship. That means one captain will have to overpower the other to take control of the ship. May I ask, how long do you think these relationships will last. Even if he submits and become the obedient husband women in nature will disrespect such men and find him weak and will become tyrant and abusive. Stats have shown in USA that have proven the most abused in relationship are the men but they do not speak out because there is no one to help them. Women can be worse in terms of violence and mind abuse than a man. Besides that is not going to work it will go against a verse in the Qura'an. It is not for a believing man or a woman to object in any decree that Allah have given.

    Would you complain and say the same if you as a mother have authority over a man and that man is your son a child. Remember that boy will grow up to be a man ones and he was under control by a woman, his mom. He never objected why a woman control him (his mother) or felt demeaned or felt objectified when Islam says to obey your mother and you have to be under her feet. She is a woman after all, isn't she? And he is a man isn't he? This is all done a complex system designed to maintain harmony in society, to maintain happiness in the home and all this system that you may not like is not designed for you or for the husband...is designed for that child. It is designed to build a good home for a child.
    Hello friend

    it’s by the so-called western world you mean countries like the United States. The United States has never had a female president. On the other hand Bangladesh and Pakistan have both had female heads of state.


    Throughout history women have taken a leading role in medieval Europe such as with Joan of arc or Catherine of Aragon.

    And there are police bribery issues that are out of control in country such as Egypt and South American countries . We don’t have that issue in America. The USA is a very civilized country although where we might agree is that with the rise of Black Lives Matter we ate witnessing an attempt to rune civilized society By attempting to make white European people feel bad about themselves..

    But most Americans black and white Christian and Muslim want to hold together the civilized fabric of America. Which due to its constitution allows for a man or woman to get a good job and to support a family. Every year millions of good Muslims from Yemen, Palestine, Lebanon, Iraq and so much more dream of immigrating to the United States for a better life...and that includes men and women.

    A proper Society must allow equal rights. And so there could never be a situation where a woman would have to be obedient to her husband. I Understand the Koran guarantees equal rights and treatment of all humanity. A women does not have to “ cover up”.

    I understand some Muslim woman choose to cover their hair or face and that is honorable. But it would be dishonorable for a society to try and force a Muslim or non Muslim woman to cover up or to marry someone of the same religion.


    peace be with you

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    xboxisdead's Avatar
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    Re: Women as a slave to man. confused.

    Quote Originally Posted by William Wallace View Post
    Hello friend

    it’s by the so-called western world you mean countries like the United States. The United States has never had a female president. On the other hand Bangladesh and Pakistan have both had female heads of state.


    Throughout history women have taken a leading role in medieval Europe such as with Joan of arc or Catherine of Aragon.

    And there are police bribery issues that are out of control in country such as Egypt and South American countries . We don’t have that issue in America. The USA is a very civilized country although where we might agree is that with the rise of Black Lives Matter we ate witnessing an attempt to rune civilized society By attempting to make white European people feel bad about themselves..

    But most Americans black and white Christian and Muslim want to hold together the civilized fabric of America. Which due to its constitution allows for a man or woman to get a good job and to support a family. Every year millions of good Muslims from Yemen, Palestine, Lebanon, Iraq and so much more dream of immigrating to the United States for a better life...and that includes men and women.

    A proper Society must allow equal rights. And so there could never be a situation where a woman would have to be obedient to her husband. I Understand the Koran guarantees equal rights and treatment of all humanity. A women does not have to “ cover up”.

    I understand some Muslim woman choose to cover their hair or face and that is honorable. But it would be dishonorable for a society to try and force a Muslim or non Muslim woman to cover up or to marry someone of the same religion.


    peace be with you
    Honestly I do not care much for non-Muslim women how they behave or act. In fact, if they want to unite to build borders between all men and them forever it doesn't phase me, or do I care or even lose one second of sleep. Islam puts zero boundaries on women getting education or even working as we have seen in era of prophets, women backed then worked, earned money and even had companies where men worked underneath them. However, back then...the fitna and trials and tribulations where not like what we have here and back then they followed Islamic sharia to avoid gender mixing which will produce fitna and back then they did not complain that men have certain rights over them and object that husbands right is higher degree over wives right because back then they obeyed Allah and his prophet and where true believers. Here now...we cannot even be true Muslim let alone true believer. Back then the wives who worked didn't shout mantras of how they don't need men just because they could out perform the men as we have here. And back then the women put boundaries saying this is a man's job it is not for us women to do man's work (unlike now). Back then men have values and husbands and fathers have rights that are protected...here now a man have to climb mountains just to see his child...something truly unheard of back then. Women should only be working if she have no choice and she need to work to survive and even then she have to fulfill all Islamic Shariah law doing it to avoid temptation, fitna and gender mixing. In fact it is preferred that she does not work...that is why Allah have build this complex system where wealth is transferred from men to women so that women do not work. That is why men have a head start at birth by having more wealth than female so that by the time he becomes an adult he would have multiplied and quadruplet his wealth so that it can be transferred from men to women. This system protects women awra, dignity, shame and avoid being looked at by both the devil and men for sexual pleasure and to avoid her losing her femininity and to avoid her developing masculine attributes and to avoid her developing characters where it becomes harder for her to give her husband his rights which is the foundation for family and a successful society. Ones women achieve complete independence, naturally her instincts is not to obey or listen to her husband and in fact she may develop superiority complex and look down at her husband thus develop disrespect and resentfulness at her partner which open doors for family breakdown. Then who is really the victim here......you go it....children. Observe the African community...the experiment started with them....thus they are the most advanced in time in what happens when feminist ideology toke full supreme. 76% of females do not get married and have children out of wedlock and spread diseases and are exploited for sexual gratifications. Boys are in prison for free or cheap labor. 24% only get married. Tell me if the Western system succeeded or failed? I can assure you it failed and because it is man-made law and since they don't believe in Allah.....it is impossible for Western world to self-fix itself and return into healthy society. Impossible! You need Allah only to fix this. Not Jesus, not what other false Gods or Goddesses the non-Muslim worship, not man or woman can fix this...only Allah can fix this and that is by obeying his law and believing in him. An example below of gender mixing that destroys society:

    https://islamqa.info/en/answers/1379...mix-with-women

    Praise be to Allah.

    Praise be to Allaah.
    The owner of this café has done well by refusing to sell forbidden substances in his café, such as refusing to sell cigarettes and refusing to allow people to do things that go against Islamic etiquette. May Allaah reward him with good.

    But it remains for him to forbid mixing, because of the evil and temptation that it involves. The Qur’aan and Sunnah indicate that mixing is haraam. For example:

    Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

    “And when you ask (his wives) for anything you want, ask them from behind a screen, that is purer for your hearts and for their hearts”

    [al-Ahzaab 33:53]

    Ibn Katheer (may Allaah have mercy on him) said, commenting on this verse: i.e., just as it is forbidden for you to enter upon them, it is also forbidden for you to look at them at all; even if one of you has a need to ask them for anything, he should not look at them or ask of them except from behind a screen.

    Al-Qurtubi (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: This verse indicates that Allaah has given permission to ask of them from behind a screen in the case of necessity, or when consulting them about some matter. This meaning includes all women, because the basic principle of sharee’ah is that the whole of a woman is ‘awrah.

    And Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

    “O wives of the Prophet! You are not like any other women. If you keep your duty (to Allaah), then be not soft in speech, lest he in whose heart is a disease (of hypocrisy, or evil desire for adultery) should be moved with desire, but speak in an honourable manner”

    [al-Ahzaab 33:32]

    If there is this warning against being soft of speech lest the one in whose heart is a disease be moved with desire, then what about men sitting with women who are clothed yet naked, who go astray and lead others astray, chatting and laughing together, and looking at one another? What fitnah can be greater than that? What heart can remain free of sickness when this is the case?

    The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) took care to prevent men mixing with women even in the dearest spots on earth to Allaah, namely the mosques, when he separated the rows of men and women, and he stayed for a while after saying the salaam so that the women could depart, and he designated a door of the mosque specifically for women. The evidence for that is as flows:

    1 – It was narrated that Umm Salamah (may Allaah be pleased with her) said: When the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) had said the salaam, the women would get up and leave when they had said the salaam, and he would stay for a while before getting up to leave. Ibn Shihaab said: I think – and Allaah knows best – that he stayed a while so that the women could disperse before the men got up to leave. Narrated by al-Bukhaari, no. 793.

    2 – It was narrated that Ibn ‘Umar (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Why don’t we leave this door for the women?” Naafi’ said: Ibn ‘Umar never entered through that door until he died. Narrated by Abu Dawood, 462; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh Abi Dawood.

    3 – It was narrated that Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “The best rows for men are the first ones and the worst are the last, and the best rows for women are the last ones and the worst are the first.” Narrated by Muslim, 664.

    This is among the greatest evidence that Islam forbids mixing. The further away the men are from the women’s rows the better, and the further away the women are from the men’s rows the better.

    If these precautions are to be taken in the mosque which is a pure place of worship, then taking them in other places is undoubtedly more important.

    4 – It was narrated from Abu Usayd al-Ansaari that he heard the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) say, when he was outside the mosque and the men were mixing with the women in the road. The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said to the women: “Move aside, for you have no right to walk in the middle of the road; you should walk at the sides of the road.” Then a woman would walk so close to the walls that her garment would catch on the wall because she walked so close to it.” Narrated by Abu Dawood, 5272; classed as hasan by al-Albaani in Saheeh Abi Dawood.

    For more details on the dangers of mixing, please see the answer to question no. 1200.

    Since mixing is haraam, the owner of this café is committing sin by allowing it and refraining from denouncing it, and by helping these people to commit sin by providing a place for them where they can disobey Allaah.

    What he has to do is to fear Allaah and not help to spread evil and corruption among the believers. He should be keen to make his food good (i.e., from halaal sources), for “every body that is nourished on haraam, the Fire is more befitting for it,” as the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said. Narrated by al-Tabaraani and Abu Na’eem from Abu Bakr; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami’, no. 4519.

    Another version was narrated from Ka’b ibn ‘Ajrah: “No flesh grows that is nourished by haraam but the Fire is more befitting for it.”

    If he can prevent mixing, then this is what he must do, or else he can restrict the café to men only. Otherwise he should look for other, permissible work. Whoever gives up a thing for the sake of Allaah, Allaah will compensate him with something better than it.

    “And whosoever fears Allaah and keeps his duty to Him, He will make a way for him to get out (from every difficulty).

    3. And He will provide him from (sources) he never could imagine”

    [al-Talaaq 65:2-3]

    And Allaah knows best.


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