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  1. #1
    Imraan's Avatar
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    Passing Judgement by looking through a white lens?

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    Assalam walaikum

    Question regarding sunnah

    Should we as followers of the sunnah, when coming across new people (or known people) look at people through a white lens to force ourselves to see them in a better light in the first instance?

    Whenever I come across new people, deep down inside I get anxious thinking am I doing the right thing making this persons acquaintance, how far or close am I willing to go with this person in regards to sharing personal info....

    throughout my life I've seen the good, the bad and the ugly...
    stayed in touch with good and stayed away from bad... i plan to carry on like that....

    looking at certain people through a white lens can lead to one's own pitfalls....

    as a regular masjid attendee, i'm regurlarly bumping into new faces, talking etc but thats it.... the regular attendees eventually after seeing your face daily eventually go a bit deeper into conversation, sometimes you have to oblige out of politeness and when they hear what ive been through or of my circumstances, some come across offering support, some its hard to tell whats going back there... but I do my bit in maintaining etiquettes and ask them to pray for me and my family....

    I guess I do worry because I see my family as small and vulnerable, some people in the community (not necessarily masjid attendees) didn't hesitate to make all sorts of propositions in general. This does leave a bitter taste in the mouth sometimes... and makes it awkward...

    If we stop looking at people through this metaphorical white lense... is that a sin...? it shouldn't be, we have to take certain measures to safeguard ourselves... are we supposed to show mercy and compassion to those who struggle and want whats bad for you...? Are we supposed to show mercy and compassion to the creation of Allah swt so that Allah swt may show mercy and compassion on ourselves?

    I do have trust issues now, its gotten worse over time, how do I overcome this?
    Last edited by Imraan; 09-17-2020 at 10:30 PM.

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    JAM_Here's Avatar
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    Re: Passing Judgement by looking through a white lens?

    IMHO it is difficult to know someone online only. Even if meeting a person face to face for many times , that is yet hard.

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    JAM_Here's Avatar
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    Re: Passing Judgement by looking through a white lens?

    Quote Originally Posted by JAM_Here View Post
    IMHO it is difficult to know someone online only. Even if meeting a person face to face for many times , that is yet hard.
    To explain more: it is difficult to know one member of the forum by reading just his posts . If I met him too , I may have a better understanding of his characteristics.

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    M.I.A.'s Avatar
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    Re: Passing Judgement by looking through a white lens?

    Quote Originally Posted by Imraan View Post
    Assalam walaikum

    Question regarding sunnah

    Should we as followers of the sunnah, when coming across new people (or known people) look at people through a white lens to force ourselves to see them in a better light in the first instance?

    Whenever I come across new people, deep down inside I get anxious thinking am I doing the right thing making this persons acquaintance, how far or close am I willing to go with this person in regards to sharing personal info....

    throughout my life I've seen the good, the bad and the ugly...
    stayed in touch with good and stayed away from bad... i plan to carry on like that....

    looking at certain people through a white lens can lead to one's own pitfalls....

    as a regular masjid attendee, i'm regurlarly bumping into new faces, talking etc but thats it.... the regular attendees eventually after seeing your face daily eventually go a bit deeper into conversation, sometimes you have to oblige out of politeness and when they hear what ive been through or of my circumstances, some come across offering support, some its hard to tell whats going back there... but I do my bit in maintaining etiquettes and ask them to pray for me and my family....

    I guess I do worry because I see my family as small and vulnerable, some people in the community (not necessarily masjid attendees) didn't hesitate to make all sorts of propositions in general. This does leave a bitter taste in the mouth sometimes... and makes it awkward...

    If we stop looking at people through this metaphorical white lense... is that a sin...? it shouldn't be, we have to take certain measures to safeguard ourselves... are we supposed to show mercy and compassion to those who struggle and want whats bad for you...? Are we supposed to show mercy and compassion to the creation of Allah swt so that Allah swt may show mercy and compassion on ourselves?

    I do have trust issues now, its gotten worse over time, how do I overcome this?

    Yeah I feel the same, unfortunately if you see the light in everything..

    Then it is very hard to impose what you want rather than what it wants.

    If everything is the truth, then good luck living as an imposter.

    I'm afraid we are too far gone lol.

    If only you had kept the razor sharp tongue and swiftness of body that is ignorance..

    To be fair I can't even remember what sort of personality i use to have..

    These days it just feels like I work on a 24 hour delay..

    So I just try and process information rather than feeling and try not to make mistakes on the next one.

    It ain't the way anyone should have to live.

    In fear of being responsible or complicit in the actions of others around you..

    Or being offended by things that don't exist.

    All the while being told..

    ...That's what you did.

    ...."Love me" or else!

    I hope to go from processing information to formulating responses.

    Just need to learn to talk again really.

    I'd settle for a lambourghini just so everyone and their imaginary friend knows.

    ... But i want to write on it myself.


    As things stand I bought a 2 seater before finding out my brother in law got a divorce.

    Whats the point?

    To be honest I'd settle for keeping my family safe.

    The irony of a name really..

    And pray that the shaitan doesn't find comfortable spots to settle in them.

    ...the irony of one man's heaven being another's hell.

    It needs to change really but its not in my power to change it..

    Searching for the win win situation if it exists.

    Rather than pooping on my own doorstep.
    Last edited by M.I.A.; 09-18-2020 at 03:04 PM.

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    Supernova's Avatar
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    Re: Passing Judgement by looking through a white lens?

    Quote Originally Posted by Imraan View Post
    Assalam walaikum

    Question regarding sunnah

    Should we as followers of the sunnah, when coming across new people (or known people) look at people through a white lens to force ourselves to see them in a better light in the first instance?

    Whenever I come across new people, deep down inside I get anxious thinking am I doing the right thing making this persons acquaintance, how far or close am I willing to go with this person in regards to sharing personal info....

    throughout my life I've seen the good, the bad and the ugly...
    stayed in touch with good and stayed away from bad... i plan to carry on like that....

    looking at certain people through a white lens can lead to one's own pitfalls....

    as a regular masjid attendee, i'm regurlarly bumping into new faces, talking etc but thats it.... the regular attendees eventually after seeing your face daily eventually go a bit deeper into conversation, sometimes you have to oblige out of politeness and when they hear what ive been through or of my circumstances, some come across offering support, some its hard to tell whats going back there... but I do my bit in maintaining etiquettes and ask them to pray for me and my family....

    I guess I do worry because I see my family as small and vulnerable, some people in the community (not necessarily masjid attendees) didn't hesitate to make all sorts of propositions in general. This does leave a bitter taste in the mouth sometimes... and makes it awkward...

    If we stop looking at people through this metaphorical white lense... is that a sin...? it shouldn't be, we have to take certain measures to safeguard ourselves... are we supposed to show mercy and compassion to those who struggle and want whats bad for you...? Are we supposed to show mercy and compassion to the creation of Allah swt so that Allah swt may show mercy and compassion on ourselves?

    I do have trust issues now, its gotten worse over time, how do I overcome this?
    Asalaamualaykum:

    I know exactly where you coming from on this one. Unfortunately, as our Ummah is showing more and more signs of deception within our own brotherhood, it does create a discomfort and paranoia in forming or starting bonds with people. It is not a joking matter when that cliché " You can't trust anyone today" is so common even between or amongst Muslims.

    You are correct that the situation is not good. I remember a little survey that was carried out in a few Musjids in USA whereby the simple question on the page was asking brothers that should you go into a business partnership with a Muslim or Non-Muslim. The results were astounding that in that survey approximately 70% brothers said "Non Muslim".

    If you are uncomfortable in the sense of associating, simply pray your Salaah and leave. Reply to Salaam and move swiftly. Protecting yourself in a society were you know deception is a norm is not a punishable act. Having said that, its also important that you yourself don't get deluded into thinking that you better than others.

    So its important to keep a balance.

    One of the fundamental reasons as to why trust is becoming an escalating issue in the Ummah is because the topic of "Deception" is hardly discussed in most circles of Islamic Education.
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    Passing Judgement by looking through a white lens?

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