I have a friend who was in a haram relationship with a girl. He ended with the girl since he said the girl was unreasonable and not compromising. He said girl was very cultural. He said he did give the girl chance but it did not work out. Since he ended it with girl and was reasonable I guess, is he still sinful because the girl was upset? Is he responsible for the girls feelings being upset?
To be I feel that even if things did not work out one should not engage in haram relationships as feelings get hurt...but he said he was reasonable and did not promise the girl anything. I just want to ask so I may tell him if he should apologize to her or not. His mother fixed his marriage for him so most likely marrying this girl is not an option but I want to know if he was wrong or wronged the girl and what he should do
He was in a haram relationship. What he did was not only the right decision for himself but also for the girl. Allah ta'ala will bless them both inshaAllah. There is no obedience to the creation if it entails the disobedience of the Creator and there's no need for your friend now to contact the girl in order to seek her forgiveness as is explained in this answer: http://askimam.org/public/question_detail/24035
Yeah its good he ended the relationship. It would have been better if he did it for the sake of Allah though and not because he didnt like the girl. As for an apology, it may cause more temptation between the two. In reality he should feel bad about the fact that he got into an unlawful relationship with her rather than the fact that he broke up with her. As long as he wasn't rude or mean about it to the girl. He should just cut off any haram relationships for the future and he should make sure that he doesn't go into another haram one so he doesn't end up hurting another person or himself
Last edited by Islami.Mu'mina; 10-20-2020 at 02:59 PM.
But he didn't end it necessary for the sake of Allah. It was because they had issues that could not be settled. Even though they ended, the girls feelings were still hurt. How is that not a sin and shouldn't he apologize but from a distance?
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Obviously he has changed and repented but aren't haram relationships bad because people get hurt?
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I think he was little bit rude as he said when he realized it was not going to work out he ended it with the girl. The girl was sad and desperate to contact him but he ignored all of them. I can't but feel like the girl was wronged
But he didn't end it necessary for the sake of Allah. It was because they had issues that could not be settled. Even though they ended, the girls feelings were still hurt. How is that not a sin and shouldn't he apologize but from a distance?
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Obviously he has changed and repented but aren't haram relationships bad because people get hurt?
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I think he was little bit rude as he said when he realized it was not going to work out he ended it with the girl. The girl was sad and desperate to contact him but he ignored all of them. I can't but feel like the girl was wronged
Yeah haram relationships aren't good because they do end up having people get hurt.
At first I did say he might not need to apologize.. I just remembered when my sister dated some boy, he ended up doing wrong things and hurting her so she broke up with him but she kept apologizing for cutting him off and going back to him because he was "hurt" by her. Because of that they got back together and he broke her trust again... Then they broke up and got back together again after him trying to be petty and emotionally manipulate her... They don't talk anymore because she finally ended it alhamdulilah
But it seems like your friend's case is different so I don't think there is anything wrong with him apologizing as long as he doesn't fall into fitna. I first had assumed that your friend already might've kindly opened up to her and maybe privately apologized to her so that it would be useless to keep apologizing.. But if the case is as you said, maybe he should clear things up with her and apologize as long as he doesn't fear anything happening
It might be in his interest to make sure everything is clear because even though he cut off the relationship which is the islamic thing to do, he is the one who caused her to become emotionally attached to him through haram means. After he clears that up and (you said he already repented), I'd say he did his part
Last edited by Islami.Mu'mina; 10-20-2020 at 04:52 PM.
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bint e aisha liked this post
.. They don't talk anymore because she finally ended it alhamdulilah
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