i dont even know where to start. honestly being i am truly losing religion. i have been what i consider a good person since i was a child. during the teenage years i was tested with being round people who werent worshipers and I maintained my worship. i been praying salah since i was 14.I never smoked a single cigar, no drugs, trying to be respectuful to peole ( and it shows cause they love me back) i never fornicated. i dont watch pornography, i dont listen to music, i dont even masturbate..i stay away from evil and sin as much as i can but yet i do believe God isnt loving me or doing me any favor.
lets put it this way. i expected that God would lead me into a better life . i only get hardships. mom died when i was 18, things just dont go my way. while i try to see light and good in all whats happening its tough for me i am not financially stable- its tough to find jobs especially recently while time is running up for me.i try so hard to get jobs. whats truly testing me and occupying my mind is that im not bein able to find a woman ( and never had a relatiionship with a woman mostly cause of fear of fornication)
i like a girl a lot but she doesnt like me back i suppose.i lost contact with her cause she closed all social networks and i dont see her anymore on the street. she was beautiful and also shy.. which truly attracted me .i dont even know where to start with this case but i feel so so so sad cause God didnt write for me and this girl to be together yet i love her so much and am not able to get over her for more than a year. its rare that i like someone (even tho i am not shy at all) let alone the woman i want to marry. i basically feel that GOD DIDNT FAVOR ME , or loves someone more than me thats why HE gave her as a price to him and not me.. do i deserve this??
i prayed everywhere for this woman. in the mosque, at work when i used to have one, at the house, everywhere cause i wanted this to happen so so much. no matter how much i try ( by not looking at her pics on her abononded social media account( im just not able to forget her beautiful face.
i feel so broken hearted cause i see god providing for people who dont even care bout religion, they get more wealth and more amazing woman and here i am, a person who was grown a believer- left and forgotten. and that makes me feel betrayed, it kills me, its burning me.
now more than ever i need a miracle.
yes i know that allah sometimes withhold something from you cause he has something better in store but really> better than this woman? i dont think so.i am 25 nd i havent seen anyone as her. its becoming late for me as a 25 year old to find a virgin woman who is also a beauty and kind like she was. someone please just tell me if God really loves me at all?' even tho i continue worship and keep distance from sins, im hanging on by a thread here. i no longer feel love.. how can u love someone when you devoted your life to him, yet He gives the best to others and not you?
And dont say that i am impatient either cayse i been waiting for over 13 years almost since i fot desires and havent even kissed a woman. This is the max of patience i dont get it how much morw does it take..
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I dont want to live my whole yourth witbout knowing what a woman is .. cmon
And the thing is Allah says to put in the effort but no matter the effort i put how hars i try its not working for me
And not just with women ,with almost everything.
I could talk day and night, i dont believe you would understand what i been and am goinf through. And if ends justified the means it would be ok id swallow it all but its absolutely not happening ,the sand is just sinking me deeper.
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Answer me this question aswell?
Why do i exist? Could it be that i was an accident?
That could expalon why i feel so out of place ..
Or why im not bein able to find a soul mate, maybe i was never meant to be
Akhi, I have posted much to you.
Again, turn to Allah, in times of ease and hardship. All your questions are answered in Islam, if you bother to read and learn.
I will leave this thread now.
Jabir bin 'Abdullah narrated that the Messenger of Allah (s.a.w) said:'A slave (of Allah) shall not believe until he believes in Al-Qadar, its good and its bad, such that he knows that what struck him would not have missed him, and that what missed him would not have struck him." (Jami 'at Tirmidhi)
Let me share a personal (embarrassing) story with you. When I was in high school and not a Muslim, I met this girl at a party who told me I was "cute". Since then, I had a crush on her for years. This girl was beautiful and had an amazing smile. Her name was Angel. No, really, her birthname was Angel. For years, I obsessed over her. She lived in a different town and was visiting a friend so I didn’t get to see her very much after that: just by chance every now and again. This proved to be agonizing and every time I did see her I would be tormented all over again.
Anyway, years went past, I grew up and matured a bit and finally after a very long time I saw her at a party and she….ummm…gained a little weight and I was like….ummm…..okay. And I didn’t have any real feelings for her after that.
I later became Muslim, much later got married, fell in love (notice my ordering) with a beautiful Muslimah whose beauty was far greater than that “Angel” I obsessed over years prior and with whom I have since lived “happily” ever after going through intense difficulties and trials (the like of which makes those who hear about it drop their jaws in awe wondering how we can both be so stable after going through so much) all the while maintaining my gratitude to Allah, who has never betrayed me, for His limitless favors upon me.
You say Allah betrayed you? Allah never betrays anyone. You show me one single ayah or Hadith where Allah promised a spouse in Dunyah to whoever believes and does good deeds. Allah never fails in His Promise. He didn’t betray you, you betrayed Him. You put the love of a woman above that of Allah (‘Azza wa Jal).
You ask if Allah Loves you, but what you should be asking is do YOU love Allah? Allah Loves every Muslim in accordance with his/her level of Iman. Allah did Love you until you betrayed Him by putting the love of a girl over your gratitude to Him.
Allah (‘Azza wa Jal) said:
Say, "Obey Allah and the Messenger." But if they turn away - then indeed, Allah does not love the ungrateful. (Al-Imran: 32) So remember Me; I will remember you. And be grateful to Me and do not deny Me. (2:152) Allah’s Love is conditional. It has to be earned:
“Whosoever shows enmity to someone devoted to Me, I shall be at war with him. My servant draws not near to Me with anything more loved by Me than the religious duties I have enjoined upon him, and My servant continues to draw near to Me with supererogatory works so that I shall love him. When I love him I am his hearing with which he hears, his seeing with which he sees, his hand with which he strikes and his foot with which he walks. Were he to ask [something] of Me, I would surely give it to him, and were he to ask Me for refuge, I would surely grant him it. I do not hesitate about anything as much as I hesitate about [seizing] the soul of My faithful servant: he hates death and I hate hurting him.”
[Bukhari]
If you put Him above all else, including any woman of this Dunya, then He Will Love you again. But if you persist in your ingratitude simply because Allah didn't give you what you wanted from this dunya when Allah promised you far better than that if you believe, think good of Him and do good deeds for His sake and for the sake of His Great Forgiveness and Reward (not for the sake of this pathetic meaningless dunya) then He Will be incredibly Angry with you and justifiably so.
The Prophet (Salalhu Alaihi wa salam) said:
“If the world were as worthy to Allah as the wing of a mosquito, an unbeliever would not even be given a sip of water.” [Tirmidhi]
This is why Allah gives more in Dunya to those who don't deserve Allah's favor more than those who do: Because dunya is worthless. Dunya is low and is for those who are low. In Akhirah, the right compensation is given according to a person's true worth.
Really?
“If a woman from among the people of Paradise were to look out over the earth, she would illuminate everything that is in between them, and would fill everything that is in between them with fragrance. And the scarf on her head is better than this world and everything in it.”
Is this dream girl of yours, whose infatuation has caused you to go astray and whom you have made a rival unto Allah better than what Allah has promised? I don't think so.
Brother i needed a lift in eman and you gave it to me. This was an amazing reminder. Wonderfully put. I will get married too in shaa Allah and i am afraid if my wife would be so faithful to me but may Allah make us solid and close like you and your wife, and even better why not. And may Allah give you happiest and strenghen your relationship with your wife and increase your rizq and give you all what you need. This was amazing reply really. I loved it. JazakhAllahu Khair
I wish God just showdd me an amazing sign and lifted me up, to be alive again, a feeling i dont know for a very long time now.
Why are you still asking for a sign? A sign for what? What exactly do you want Allah to prove to you? The question is important.
Why do i exist? Could it be that i was an accident?
That could expalon why i feel so out of place .. Or why im not bein able to find a soul mate, maybe i was never meant to be
"And We did not create the heaven and the earth and that between them aimlessly. That is the assumption of those who disbelieve, so woe to those who disbelieve from the Fire." (Sad: 27) "Indeed, in the creation of the heavens and the earth and the alternation of the night and the day are signs for those of understanding - Who remember Allah while standing or sitting or [lying] on their sides and give thought to the creation of the heavens and the earth, [saying], "Our Lord, You did not create this aimlessly; exalted are You [above such a thing]; then protect us from the punishment of the Fire." (al-Imran: 190-191) "And I did not create the jinn and mankind except to worship Me." (adh-Dhariyat: 56)
Your purpose in this life is to worship the Creator, to seek the ways in which He will be pleased with you, to strive for the highest level in Jannah you can (where there is every kind of gorgeous female you could ask for) and to take all of the means that Allah has given you to save yourself from the Fire (where there is no "warm embrace" of a female, just the scorching intense blazing heat of Hell whose fuel is men and stones of sulfur.) This is your purpose which you are squandering, coveting after the frivolous joys of this Dunyah. You should understand that women and longing for them are a part of this worldly life: "Beautified for man is the love of that which he desires - women and sons, heaped-up sums of gold and silver, fine branded horses, and cattle and tilled land. That is the enjoyment of worldly life, but Allah has with Him the best return [i.e., Paradise]." (al-Imran: 14)
"Say, "Shall I inform you of [something] better than that? For those who fear Allah will be gardens in the presence of their Lord beneath which rivers flow, wherein they abide eternally, and purified spouses and approval from Allah. And Allah is Seeing [i.e., aware] of [His] servants - Those who say, "Our Lord, indeed we have believed, so forgive us our sins and protect us from the punishment of the Fire," The patient, the true, the obedient, those who spend [in the way of Allah], and those who seek forgiveness before dawn. (al-Imran: 15-17)
You say that you don't care about fancy things in life like lots of money and luxuries. al-Hamdullilah, that's good. That's very good. But you should understand that with all of that is also women and longing for them. In the ayah above, Allah not only mentions the desire for women as included in that category but in fact mentions it first before anything else as longing for women is much more dangerous than those other vices. The Prophet (Salalahu 'Alaihi wa Salam) said, “I have not left behind me any fitnah (temptation) more harmful to men than women.” (Bukhari and Muslim) This fitnah is greater, much greater, in fact, than the fitnah of wealth and prestige even though these are big problems as well that we need to be wary of. Notice that in the Ayah I mentioned above, none of which Allah mentioned is Haram in Islam: Sons? Halal and encouraged; gold and silver? It's Halal to have Halal wealth and we can even be rich and extremely wealthy as there were some Sahabah (Radi Allahu Anhum) who were very wealthy as long as we obtain it and dispose of it in a good way. Nothing wrong with that; fine branded horses? There is khair in the foreheads of horses until the Day of Judgment. If one wants fine horses or, by analogy, a nice car/vehicle to drive, that's fine; cattle and tilled land? Or in other words, property and real estate. Also, not a problem to own; and first and foremost: Women. Marriage is a part of Islam. If a man had four beautiful wives whom he immensely enjoyed that wouldn't be a problem. Then what is the problem? What Allah criticized in this noble Ayah is man's desire for these things. This is the problem. That is the vice that we need to avoid and from this comes a great deal of evil. We are not supposed to long for these things, put hope in obtaining them, and grow anxious when we are unable to acquire them or boastful and full of pride if we do acquire them. We are supposed to put 100% of our longing, hope and desire into what Allah promised to those who have Taqwa. If we do that, then the Dunya will fall into our lap. Wallahi, I have had innumerable opportunities come out of nowhere with regards to job prospects, marriage, etc. Why? Because I'm super awesome and you're not? No! It's because I don't give a s### about this Dunya. The Prophet (salalahu alaihi wa salam) said, “Whoever makes the Hereafter his goal, Allah makes his heart rich, and organizes his affairs, and the world comes to him whether it wants to or not. And whoever makes the world his goal, Allah puts his poverty right before his eyes, and disorganizes his affairs, and the world does not come to him, except what has been decreed for him.” (Ahmed, Ibn Majah, Tirmidhi)
Wallahi! I testify to the truth of this Hadith. Notice how in the Ayah about women, sons, etc Allah didn't say that beautified for man are these things (women, sone, wealth, etc) but He said that beautified for man is the love of these things. It is the love itself that Allah is drawing our attention to. Man considers his love for these things to be beautiful, good, and romantic, when, in reality his attachment and incessant longing for these is an ugly disease that destroys one's sense of inner peace and creates a great deal of harm.
Im just askinf a sweetheart to love.
Case in point.
Am i not a man enough?? What is wrong wih me
Can anyone tell?? Is there smth fundamentally wrong so at least i know?
Bro, women are a part of Dunya as I have said. And like Dunya, the more you want them, the further they get away from you. This is the rule. The more you want women, the less they like you. The more reserved you are, the more they will crave your attention. Haven't you observed the cliche of the guy who is a total jerk/loser to his female, but she can't seem to leave him because "she loves him"? She craves his attention to the point that she will endure suffering and abuse just for those few moments when he actually acknowledges her existence. This, of course, is the opposite extreme and if you tried that with any respectable Muslimah who had any sense of self-worth and honor, you wouldn't get too far. But the point is, women like a man who is reserved, not overly in awe of her. One who portions out his attention of her in moderation. Not completely withholding his attention for her (that would make her feel neglected) but not being gumpy and sheepish either (she won't respect you). Honestly man, you're going to get married [inshaAllah]. Seriously. If you were to come on here and say "I'm never going to get married. I don't like marriage." I would be like, "Okay, whatever you say man." You will get married whether you want to or not. This really isn't something you need to worry about. If you just had a little...o yeah. I'm not supposed to say that . If you just fix your priorities and set your eyes on the prize and focus on the goal Allah will (sooner or later) give you everything you need.
Don't say that we don't understand. Many Brothers and Sisters on this forum if not most of them have gone through or are going through much worse than what you are going through. But if one wanted to argue that you are suffering more than they are I could accept that because the very root of your misery is longing for that which is in essence of very little value and losing sight of that which is of the greatest value. As long as other Brothers and Sisters are free of that, then they will also be free from the misery and suffering that you are going through.
Brother i needed a lift in eman and you gave it to me. This was an amazing reminder. Wonderfully put. I will get married too in shaa Allah and i am afraid if my wife would be so faithful to me but may Allah make us solid and close like you and your wife, and even better why not. And may Allah give you happiest and strenghen your relationship with your wife and increase your rizq and give you all what you need. This was amazing reply really. I loved it. JazakhAllahu Khair
Aha. al-Hamdullilah May Allah Give you the same and more inshaAllah.
Is it ok if u feel careless towards prayer or islamic learning?
Due to some severe dissapointments in the past,
I no longer feel like praying or even goin to jummah.
While i still dont do other sins I kind of have lost interest in
Religious living and have severly lost love of God to the point
Where I only acknowledge Gods existance and thats it.
Some days I have debates with people that Being a good person just aint worth it. That i do good deeds not cause i am a believer. No.
I still never smoke cigars or anything. I never drink alcohol.
I never watch porn or do self sexual amusment.I dont take interest or go clubbing or such stuff. I am very disciplined with these. Very.
But i also no longer go regularly on jummah or pray ever.
I lost touch with God when I found out Hes simply deprivijg me of something beautiful and I keep failing no matter how much I try.
Sometimes I feel like even if next week salvation will come, id rather just die today. I am careless and hopeless I AM
Dissapointed and not impressed - guess you could say I am
Depressed
I hate the fact that I am not taller. Why didnt God make me just 180 cm.. woudl have that been too much for him?
I never been loved. I never have kissed.
And i did this all to avoid fornication,missed out on so much fun as a teenager and young adult, now at 26 i dont even knownhow being with a woman is. And to be honest it wasnt even worth it. Nothing ever was.Im basiclaly undetectable by women.they dont even notice me.
Whenever i see a woman that awes me i say maybe this ine is her, and then it collapses too soon. Im basically lost so.much confidence im not even trying anymore. Its already too late.
Spent a youthtime trying to become a good man a good muslim , and I am the last of all my friends at everything.
I feelt left. Forgotten.
Im broke now. I see no help coming from above.
Damn, i dont even want to be alive.
GOD Should have taken me instead of my mom. She loved life and i just hate everything. I want to go.
All my life I waited for " the one written for me" and here i am
If not until now,when?
Im 26 :/
Not to mention i have stagnated on my career. I havent been able to get a job since march 2020. Since this pandemic hit.
Im losing hair,i have lost a lot of wheight. I have lost all faith.
I am done. I might tell other people.to be believers but myself I am not one.
Ans I wont ever be anymore. Cause i dont care anymore.
This was a confession to all the people who wrote to me before. Farewell to you all. Farewell religion.
And whosoever fears Allah and keeps his duty to Him, He will make a way for him to get out (from every difficulty). And He will provide for him from sources he never could imagine. And whosoever puts his trust in Allah, then He will suffice him. Verily, Allah will accomplish His purpose. Indeed Allah has set a measure for all things.” (Surah At-Talaq 65:2-3)
Re read the thread.
Suicidal thoughts are easy way out& seems adaptable as we feel better but it's not a STOP to your agony.Find your peace through moderation in Deen & dua fulltime.
I'm telling you ALLAH Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala doesn't abondon- NEVER.Sometines I recall the good times other times I think of times of high imaan- rest assured many are under trials & in low imaan condition- yes there are & many got outta trials too.
You are thinking it will all be cool within few years? It's always not the case infact relief comes after a long heavy painful trials
Last edited by SoldierAmatUllah; 08-29-2021 at 11:19 AM.
I guess God saw that I dont wanna go on and is taking me away.
I got tested covid positive and probably wont make it.
I was too tired of living anyway. Too tired of it all.
I wont be able to sign in anymore so
Goodbye.
We all feel same.
Bad neglected deprived rejected hated & this is amongst the fitan of the end times called Duhayma.
Almost everyone's feel same thoughts about Allah after a Tonnes of trials & feeling stuck.
Get back to Islam.Dont give up.We never know when our destiny changes into beautiful ending.
Few good dreams for you can solve your issues so Ask Allah for a good dream like a dream about paradise etc
I ask Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala to help us all go through this haul.
Last edited by SoldierAmatUllah; 08-30-2021 at 10:17 PM.
I don’t know if the OP will ever come back, but for people who have had similar thoughts of abandoning the religion because things did not go their way, what is the plan afterwards? Many threads in the past have come up with people saying the samere thing, but it’s like, what’s the point? I didn’t get married, I didn’t get a job, This didn’t happen or that didn’t happen, so therefore bye Islam. Denouncing your faith is counter productive and to be quite honest, it’s an eternal mistake.. this life is so short. The day of judgment is said to be tens of thousands of years. Closing your eyes and covering your ears will not change that.
For someone who just recently got positive results for a deadly virus, this would be the perfect time to reflect on things. There are great rewards for those that have stayed patient. You’ve managed to protect your eyes and body for all these years for the sake of pleasing Allah. Instead of being upset about that, Say alhamdulillah that you were able to do something many others failed to do. It would be a shame to throw all that hard work away for nothing.
I am hospitalized now and would like to thank everyone for all the replies and the time of your life you spent on advices.
You just have to know how much I suffered tdying to hold on into laws.. but all I wanted was to be loved.
Please take care and be aware of this virus - it seems like its hell on earth when you cant properly breathe
If i get better I will let you peoplw know
If this thing killed you while you were a Mumin, you would become a shaheed and have more "Love" than you'd know what to do with:
Abu Huraira reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Who do you consider a martyr among you?” They said, “The one who is killed in the way of Allah.” The Prophet said, “If that is so, there are few martyrs in my nation.” They said, “O Messenger of Allah, then who are the martyrs?” The Prophet said, “He who is killed in the way of Allah is a martyr. He who dies in the way of Allah is a martyr. He who dies of plague is a martyr. He who dies of stomach disease is a martyr, and he who dies from drowning is a martyr.” (Muslim)
Repentance is available up until the soul reaches the throat. Now would be a good time, like right now.
May Allah Protect us all from an evil ending. Ameen.
To be very honest, Allah does love you and all His worshippers who even take even the slightest name in favor of Him. It’s just a matter of time and fate that the Almighty has decided for everyone including for you to get what you want at last. And, in terms of all the hardships you have faced and even facing now is because Allah is protecting you from other people who might fill in sinful things in your mind and may deviate you from the path of rightness.
Last edited by AabiruSabeel; 02-07-2024 at 04:23 AM.
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