I am so upset

Walaikum As Salaam Wa RahmatUllah,

I have had lot of waswas & it's not easy.Im just gonna give you advice on how you can feel a bit ease.

There's something called OCD,thoughts reoccur&it's not our problem.l,it's more like a disease.We are excused.

Then we get waswas qahri that's from shaytan who tries to lead us to hopelessness &feeling irony of our situation,the best thing is to avoid listening to it& to do your work,it subsides but it may take time,we cannot listen to it,it's not a momins way.you are to do Ruqya on yourself everyday maybe twice(better).

Then there is a fact things can happen as a trial so just seek out Allah's help for dealing with strangest thoughts as these are trials of our times called under duhayma fitan with severity of shaking of believers & with we enormous trials till we say out :

"When will the help of Allah come?"

(Quran)

Its perfectly normal what you are suffering from as you may see much talks on forums about this issue &loads of advices by people who have suffered similar.

I read a wonderful dua (though not much these days )when I start to tremble with strangest thoughts & Allah relieves my situation.

Its a mess,it's difficult,it's ironic & it's horrible to go through but there is good maybe ??I hope so!

So in sum:
OCD
Qahri waswas from shaytan
Trials
Forgetfulness
Mistake


Give yourself relief by knowing that Deen is easy as we have been told.

Quoting dua in next post

Nabi sallallahu alayhe wasallam' said:

Shirk among you is more subtle than the sound of the footsteps of an ant on a rock. Shall I not tell you of something which, if you do it, it will take that away from you, both minor and major forms of it. Say:

الَّلهُمَّ إِنِّي أَعُوذُ بِكَ أَنْ أُشْرِكَ بِكَ وأَنا أَعلَمُ وأَستَغفِرُكَ لما لا أَعلَمُ

Allahumma inni a`udhu bika an ushrika bika wa ana a`lamu wa astaghfiruka lima la a`lamu

(O Allah I seek refuge in You from knowingly associating partners with You, and I seek Your forgiveness for that which I do not know)

[Narrated by al-Bukhari in al-Adab al-Mufrad p. 250, No. 716, Ahmad 4/403, Al-Diya Al-Maqdisi 1/45, Ibn Al-Sunni in Amal Yawn wal-Layla No. 258 , Hanad in Al-Zuhd, 2/434 No. 849, Al-Hakim Al-Tirmidhi, 4 / 142, and Abu Yala 1/60 No. 58, and authenticated by al-Albani in Sahih al-Adab al-Mufrad, p. 266, No. 551, Sahih ul-Jami’ As-Saghir 3/233 No. 3731 and Sahih ut-Targhib wat- Tarhib 1/19]

Recite above dua 11 times after every Salaat& recite when shaytan attacks you "Amantu Billahi Wa Rasulihi"& recite it after every Salaat 11 times too.

Tc