In Islam the advice from the Prophet Muhammad peace be upon him was that anyone who is able to get married should get married. I have seen a lot of males (who I will not call Men), who do not accept marriage, as they are arrogant:
1. As teenagers, they like to think that people will get to know them a lot-this is arrogance, as they couldn’t even write an essay about themselves. It is arrogance as they do not accept that we are simple people, largely living simple lives. They don’t have more depth then a puddle, typical teenage fashion when there is an argument, they claim that people don’t understand them. A lot of immaturity. Marriage isn't there to stroke to teenage immature mental cravings. They even still like people treating them like a child-as chldren they are used to people looking at their potential -nobody should be saying that when they are older. They need to demonstrate their behaviour. They act no differently to evil doers, when they beat people up and like to say such and such a person wants us to be kind-no one needs you to be kind, no one is going to miss you if you go to Hell fire. If people are doing the right things in life, they wouldn't be waiting for any immature person to do the right thing either.
2. If they are helping their Mothers to be comfortable, then marriage is additional to that-providing for someone else (that is why it is also placed down as a kind deed), how then can they ask people to be treated like prostitutes??
3. They are not fit enough to ride on a donkey, let alone be with a woman. Just sitting there playing computer games and think they are innocent.
4. It is amazing that when one talks about someone’s marriage, any male relates and think they are like such and such -I have even heard males say they are like the companions of the Prophet -but if we women said this we would be arrogant (we wouldn’t dream of saying it anyway). But they are happy to use anyone circumstances.
5. They are quick to use someone’s bad relationships to bad mouth women, being distrustful when they haven’t even been married. Then they need to be quiet as it is not their place to say. They haven't even done anything and got the nerve to say they are avoiding problems -well sit there for the rest of your life and waste it, I have no sympathy.
6. They like to quote that Males want to have sexual relationships-then if they can they should be getting married – a Man should be prepared to take responsibility and take care of others-which he should have learnt when looking after his parents. Even in the Quran, it is stated about whose cow to slaughter and it belong to a boy who was obedient to his Mother.
7. The fact is that many males feel that marrying such and such a person is beneath them. Western media has also heightened expectations of how they should be individually -but we only live simple lives, go to sleep, eat work etc. So they have a grandiose image about themselves -this is why they don’t wish to get married.
8. The people in the past and the Companions of the Prophet readily got married, what is these people’s excuse?? Nothing except that they are basically immature.
I personally when growing up didn’t understand about marriage expectations if you were able, but now I do and see them as selfish and arrogant. The Calipah Umar Ibn Al-Khattab was speaking to someone and thought he was OK of how he spoke, but when he heard he didn’t have a job, he didn’t think highly of him. What these males need to understand that the world ain’t an extension of their childhood that they need to be supported (this is also why those who keep dogs are pets -there is a deduction as there is not benefit and a waste of time), using resources and support from others just to support them caring about their own arrogance. If they haven’t got married if they are able, that is all I need to know and I don’t trust them. The Calipah Abu Bakr Siddiq was even spending time cooking and cleaning for a less fortunate woman with lots of children (and he wasn't even married to her!)
As the Muslim Ummah, we don't need to spend years accepting this immaturity -we need to be saved from it. May Allah save us from the selfish, from the arrogant and let them not have the upper hand in anything (that is the benefit for the Muslim Ummah).
These are difficult times and with the recession and issues, people need to hold steadfast to Islam -and not listen to the excuses of others. Only join the Mahdi and the Prophet Jesus peace be upon him when he returns (thankfully he’ll be met by a group of Men when he descends back to Earth)..
In Islam the advice from the Prophet Muhammad peace be upon him was that anyone who is able to get married should get married. I have seen a lot of males (who I will not call Men), who do not accept marriage, as they are arrogant:
1. As teenagers, they like to think that people will get to know them a lot-this is arrogance, as they couldn’t even write an essay about themselves. It is arrogance as they do not accept that we are simple people, largely living simple lives. They don’t have more depth then a puddle, typical teenage fashion when there is an argument, they claim that people don’t understand them. A lot of immaturity. Marriage isn't there to stroke to teenage immature mental cravings. They even still like people treating them like a child-as chldren they are used to people looking at their potential -nobody should be saying that when they are older. They need to demonstrate their behaviour. They act no differently to evil doers, when they beat people up and like to say such and such a person wants us to be kind-no one needs you to be kind, no one is going to miss you if you go to Hell fire. If people are doing the right things in life, they wouldn't be waiting for any immature person to do the right thing either.
I beg to differ here.
There are lot of women who are not accepting proposal for lowly things and some of them have genuine excuse for not getting married like men.
format_quote Originally Posted by Sunshineday
3. They are not fit enough to ride on a donkey, let alone be with a woman. Just sitting there playing computer games and think they are innocent.
They are innocent as long as they are just playing computer games rather start roaming around girls.
format_quote Originally Posted by Sunshineday
5. They are quick to use someone’s bad relationships to bad mouth women, being distrustful when they haven’t even been married. Then they need to be quiet as it is not their place to say. They haven't even done anything and got the nerve to say they are avoiding problems -well sit there for the rest of your life and waste it, I have no sympathy.
I find mostly women are being nosy and spread anything with distorted and twisted facts without verifying it like a wild fire.
format_quote Originally Posted by Sunshineday
These are difficult times and with the recession and issues, people need to hold steadfast to Islam -and not listen to the excuses of others. Only join the Mahdi and the Prophet Jesus peace be upon him when he returns (thankfully he’ll be met by a group of Men when he descends back to Earth)..
I have seen lot of immature women too.They are living in an imaginary world.They are neither working or doing job nor interested in doing chore.All they want to sit and take rest and all the chores should be done by maid or husband should help them even they have done nothing in entire day.One of my friend even complain ya all the work is done by maid but my mother in law is not taking care of my duaghter. She was saying mother in law should take care of children. I was thinking in my mind then what are you going to do.
what if someone has mental disabilities like asperger's disorder (high functioning autism, meaning intellect is present), and C-PTSD (perhaps borderline personality disorder), and OCD/anxiety caused by trauma?
Here’s my take on the issue, and really, a lot can be said about the whole issue of marriage. I don’t believe it is a male or female issue specifically, nor do I think it’s black or white. It’s more complex than that, but I’ll try to be brief.
I believe it’s a societal issue, both in Muslim and non Muslim countries. People are no longer encouraged to get married young and in many, or even most parts of the world, 18 is considered to be when someone reaches “adulthood” (ie.eligible to consent for marriage). We spend 1/4 of our lives in grade school being taught about things that really don’t prepare us for the real world, and once we complete that, all of a sudden we are stuck trying to figure life out and what we want to do with our lives. Meanwhile, while all this is happening, we are considered by society as kids and innocent children who don’t know any better, and as such, we end up being programmed to think this way up until we graduate school.
Both girls and boys are surrounded by a capitalistic system in which ads for games, movies, fashion, etc are shoved down our throats from a young age, and even with parents who are there to try and help guide you to what’s right and wrong, you cannot escape the reality that kids and teens are surrounded and influenced by these things. Many times, parents are not able to keep up and end up giving in. Go to any rural areas and you will more than likely find that people get married at younger ages and are better equipped to be self sufficient and not dependent on the system compared to most of their peers living in the cities and suburbs. As the older generations die off, the new, less capable, less experienced, generations who are supposed to take over will not be able to and I think this can easily be observed today.
We need to try and do what we can in our own homes to better prepare our kids for what’s out there, but in terms of the ummah, I think Muslim countries need to take the lead here and not only stop following secular ideologies, but also need to return to the basics. These Muslim countries need to make it a priority to ally with one another and build their countrys economy and infrastructure. This will build the basic foundation for them to be able to encourage other Muslims around the world to migrate and bring their skills there vs wasting it elsewhere. Just doing that alone will fix many of the problems we are facing, including the issues of marriage.
Of course that’s easier said than done thanks to colonialism and even then, the powers that be are keeping leaders in check in terms of what can and can’t be done. We truly are in a weak state.
Here’s my take on the issue, and really, a lot can be said about the whole issue of marriage. I don’t believe it is a male or female issue specifically, nor do I think it’s black or white. It’s more complex than that, but I’ll try to be brief.
I believe it’s a societal issue, both in Muslim and non Muslim countries. People are no longer encouraged to get married young and in many, or even most parts of the world, 18 is considered to be when someone reaches “adulthood” (ie.eligible to consent for marriage). We spend 1/4 of our lives in grade school being taught about things that really don’t prepare us for the real world, and once we complete that, all of a sudden we are stuck trying to figure life out and what we want to do with our lives. Meanwhile, while all this is happening, we are considered by society as kids and innocent children who don’t know any better, and as such, we end up being programmed to think this way up until we graduate school.
That's so true. Kids as young as 3_4 year old are going to pre schools. If parents don't want to send pre school their child won't be getting admission in schools. Kindergarden kids need to give interview to get admission in school. They expect child must know some basics before even joining school. Children don't have time to play or any other activity like we used to have. They are fed with idea that more grades means more success. What they are going to do with success they don't know.
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