Answer to your first question, "Can I pray without wudu or tayyamum because I want to pray in secret and hide my faith..."
Ritual purity is a must for performing salah. But as to your condition, I am not really sure. You can make wudhu from the washroom, right?
And to the other one, it is unnecessary to wash your private parts every time you do wudhu unless you suffer from urinary incontinence or such. This is not recommended nor advised in Islam. Plus this might result in suffering from waswas which is anything but good.
My religious ocd makes me feel as if I'm Christian bhuddist Hindu jew and makes me pray in these faiths.....
Yes, I gathered from many of your posts in here. I can recommend that you go through the following thread which specifically relates to waswas in terms of worship as well as OCD. Please go through it and make notes if you can and apply what you learn and it maybe that you will find something that resonates with you and will help to at least lessen your issues with waswas and OCD if not resolve them completely insha Allah:
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