How one teen remembered Allah and turned her life around

By: Maryam

As most people do, I turned to Allah and Islam during the hard
times of my life. It's a sad fact of life. When times are happy and
life is good, no one feels obliged to turn towards his or her Deen
(religion). It's all about living the moment.

After I had turned towards Allah, I approached a friend in a very
casual manner, trying to encourage her to also turn towards Islam.
Her reply chilled my blood. "Right now, my life is good, I'm happy
and I don't need any change."

I thought to myself, better bite your tongue. I wanted to shake her
and say, "Would you really want some tragic event to happen before
waking up to Islam?" Obviously no one in his or her right mind
would want to do so, but subconsciously, I feel everyone does.

I was no exception to that. I was on the brink of depression, as a
result of a series of events that happened. Now looking back at it,
it wasn't much, but being a teenager who had lost her sense of
identity and purpose in life, it was the monster of all crises.

I had been separated from my best friends, snatched up away from my
life and replaced in a place I had once
called home. It was hard, and I was suffering. I used to find
comfort, lying awake at night and staring at the stars, amazed at
the fact that these were the same stars I stared at when I lived on
the other side of the world.

My family, Alhamdu lillah (All Praise be to Allah), had all changed
towards Islam in the past years. No one forced me to wear Hijab,
and I didn't simply because I thought I wasn't ready. They did,
however, expect me to dress modestly and most importantly offer my
daily prayers.

My aunt used to take me to these classes held nearby, and I went
when I could. I was in pain and I didn't quite understand why. And
it happened so that the particular topic at that class I had attended was on why pain and suffering happens. The teacher said
that we are put through hard times as a test, to see how we cope
with it. To see if we will turn towards Siratul Mustaqeem
(the Straight Path), or away from it.

It was that day that I learned that every bit of pain we endure,
both emotional and physical, alleviates us from our punishments in
the hereafter. It was then that I started truly understanding the
ways of Allah, how everything that happens has a purpose and that I
was supposed to learn from that.

It's been almost two and a half years since that period of my life.
It took me a year and a half to actually start changing. I knew
Islam, but I did not practice it the way a Muslim is supposed to. I
thought I was happy, but deep down inside I knew that I was not.

I was a hypocrite, and as much as I tried denying it, I could not.
It sank in and I accepted it and prayed that I find the right way.
My conscience was not dead, but I had muted it. Before, I used to
get the urge to start Hijab, yet I used to fight it. I performed
Umra and I prayed continuously that the next time my conscience
spoke to me, I would not only listen to it, but I would amplify it
so that I could not ignore it.

Last Ramadan, late one night, Hijab got on my conscience and would
not go away. I told myself that I was not ready, that there were
many strings attached that I may not be able
to fulfill, but with the right words from supportive friends I told
myself that if I didn't start now, I would never start. And I
believed that 200%. So I no longer had any excuse for not doing
Hijab. So Alhamdu lillah, I finally put on my Hijab on December
31st, 1999 at the age of 18, and have been wearing it ever since.

After a month or so, I realized that Hijab was not as big a deal as
I had thought. It was not difficult in the least. To this day there
has never been a moment that I regretted Hijab, and for that I am
so grateful, Alhamdu lillah. I immediately found many friends who
also wear Hijab. These friends and my family were the greatest
strength for my new found Iman (faith).

I occupied myself with more Masjid-oriented activities and attended
more classes to increase my knowledge of our religion. I am
grateful that I put my foot down and decided to start Hijab
then, because had I not, who knows how long it would have taken for
me to start.
How do I remember Allah and His magnificent ways?

When I step outside and marvel at the beauty of nature. When I stop
to play with a baby and see how perplexing, yet perfect, the
precious cycle of life is. When I go out and people stop to say
As-Salaam-Wa-Alaikum to me. When I study the Quran and the Hadith
of our beautiful Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him)
and how perfectly and completely it incorporates our lives and
faith. When I pass by my fellow sisters in Islam adorned proudly
and confidently in their Hijabs. Everything reminds me of Allah,
and I can feel my love for Him, our Prophet, and our religion grow
by the day.