I think she was sad alot, and her friends would say to me that i hurt her bad. I never knew what to do, so i said okay.
We met up outside of school, spoke to each other. Never really did anything deep, but we saw a movie, an action one lol. It turns out when i came home, someone had triggered the alarm - someone had seen me and busted me, and it passed onto the family.
Uh-oh. lol who doesn't know that being an asian means you have relatives everywhere, and to top it off - dating with someone isn't allowed anyway, unless it's with your spouse. I came home and everyone knew what had happened.
I got grounded.
This was a moment in life where i totally had to go through a reflection period, was i really doing the right thing? Some people even told me that i couldn't really hurt her, since love can't happen when you're so young. Now i know it can happen, but back then i never. We know this because Aa'isha (may Allaah be pleased with her) loved Allaah's Messenger (peace be upon him) at a young age.
What was i supposed to do? I couldn't tell her that i want to end it. That's the only reason i had accepted it. But i had to, so i did.
Everyone was suspicious when i would go on the computer, so i wouldn't use msn now. I needed help and was in a state of weakness. So i turned to Allaah/God, i tried to look at what the Islamic view to this whole situation was. I knew it wasn't allowed, but why wasn't it allowed?
I found some info on how innocent love which might start off as 'love on first sight' usually isn't that innocent afterall, especially when it can have harmful consequences i.e. heart-break, and heartbreak can lead to enmity, jealousy, hatred. Relationships outside of marriage can also break up ties, sex outside of marriage can also lead to children who might not know who their father is etc. which can have harmful pyschological effects on the child. Since this whole game is basically a 'hit and run' idea.
I went back to school after the weekend, and everyone was hyped up. Knowing that they have a mate who's got a 'girlfriend.' They were even more hyped because someone asian was with someone white. That's how people were for some reason.
Some asian girls would give the evils (not everyones racist, but i'm just saying.) I didn't know what to do, because in reality - i was just trying to please someone, while not knowing the evils which would come leak out of it in the future.
Guess what happened? Maths is everday, which meant that i was in that seat everyday.
The laughing behind me was louder, and now even my mate knew that something had happened over the weekend.
I was embarrassed to discuss it while knowing what had happened at home - i had reflected alot there.
I recieved the mail;
Did you have a good time with my mate?
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