A Christian once pointed out this Hadith.would appreciate it if any one of you would clarify it for me.
"When I got married, Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) said to me, "What type of lady have you married?" I replied, "I have married a matron' He said, "Why, don't you have a liking for the virgins and for fondling them?" Jabir also said: Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) said, "Why didn't you marry a young girl so that you might play with her and she with you?"
A Christian once pointed out this Hadith.would appreciate it if any one of you would clarify it for me.
"When I got married, Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) said to me, "What type of lady have you married?" I replied, "I have married a matron' He said, "Why, don't you have a liking for the virgins and for fondling them?" Jabir also said: Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) said, "Why didn't you marry a young girl so that you might play with her and she with you?"
A Christian once pointed out this Hadith.would appreciate it if any one of you would clarify it for me.
"When I got married, Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) said to me, "What type of lady have you married?" I replied, "I have married a matron' He said, "Why, don't you have a liking for the virgins and for fondling them?" Jabir also said: Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) said, "Why didn't you marry a young girl so that you might play with her and she with you?"
I have understood in the light of the Holy Quraan and ahaadeeth that the rights of the widows and orphans were mentioned repeatedly. So many of the sahaabah (companions) rAa inclined to marry the widows. Muhammad salla Allaho alaihi wa sallam, being the Prophet of Allah Azza wa Jall, had the duty to make improvements. So He salla Allaho alaihi wa sallam, also encouraged marriages with unmarried girls so that these are not totally neglected. (And Allah knows the best.)
For the translation and short explanation of the surahs / verses of the Holy Quraan go to
If a young virgin man marries a widow, then is normal if people would ask him "Why don't you marry young virgin woman?". Same like Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wasallam when he asked Jabir radiallahu anhu why young virgin man like him chose to marry a widow, not married a virgin. Jabir bin Abdullah radialahu anhu was known as young sahabah, he was 38 years younger than Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wasallam.
Not every hadith can be taken as law. The hadith above cannot become a rule that young man should marry virgin woman, not widow. But the hadith above is just a normal question from older man to younger man.
Who really cares if some Kaafir has a problem with the Hadeeth? There is no need for any "explanation" at all, nor is there one. It is exactly as is mentioned. Must the Ahaadeeth be apologised for and "explained away" because some Kaafir is unhappy about it? Who cares if he is unhappy about it? Even his mother doesn't care. Why should anyone else.
In fact, the actions of the Prophet salla Allaho alaihi wa sallam and his companions, concerning marriage, were such that it omitted the difference of young and old man. Also the difference of virgin and a widow or divorced was omitted. For example:
Muhammad salla Allaho alaihi wa sallam married a 40 years old widow when He was 25 years old. Then He lived only with that wife for more than 25 years.
Umar rAa's daughter (Hafzah rAa) became widow and her iddah passed. Then Umar rAa went to Abu Bakar rAa and gave him the proposal for Hafzah rAa. Abu Bakar rAa was older than her father (Umar rAa). He remained silent as Muhammad salla Allaho alaihi wa sallam had told him secretly that He salla Allaho alaihi wa sallam would do nikaah with Hafzah rAa after her iddah finished. Abu Bakar rAa could not tell the secret of the Prophet salla Allaho alaihi wa sallam, so he remained silent. Umar rAa chose a companion older than himself for his daughter because at that time the Muslims used to marry their daughters to very pious Muslims. Thus they didn't care for young and old. On the other hand men cared about giving shelter to widows /divorced and orphans so as to earn more reward. Then there was danger that unmarried girls may be ignored. That is also not proper. So the Prophet salla Allaho alaihi wa sallam advised a companion. That seems to keep the unmarried girls in rememberance for marriage. See the translation of the following verses to understand the value of the saying of the Prophet salla Allaho alaihi wa sallam in the hadeeth of this thread:
(2:234) The wives of men who have died must observe a waiting period of four months and ten days;259 when they have reached the end of the waiting term, there is no blame upon you regarding what they may do with themselves in a fair manner. Allah is well aware of what you do.
(2:235) There is no blame upon you whether you hint at a marriage proposal to such women or keep the proposal hidden in your hearts. Allah knows that you will think of them in that connection. But do not make any secret engagement with them and speak openly in an honourable manner. Do not resolve on the marriage tie until the ordained term has come to its end. Know well that Allah knows even what is in your hearts. So, have fear of Him and know well that Allah is All-Forgiving, All-Forbearing.
The words used are ...alima_Allahu annakum satazkuroona-hunna... (Allah knows that you will remember them /you will keep them in mind...).
This is the importance of marriage with a widow in the Book of Allah. Then importance is also given to marriage with virgins in the Hadeeth shareef which is also from Allah but in the words of the Prophet salla Allaho alaihi wa sallam.
In this way we find balanced ruling in the Quraan and the Sunnah side by side.
Last edited by OmAbdullah; 02-02-2017 at 03:15 PM.
For the translation and short explanation of the surahs / verses of the Holy Quraan go to
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