My Mother Taught Me....

**Al-Hanbali** · 10-20-2008

Got this through an email...thought it was hilarious, yet at the same time, kinda true aswell....

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My Mother Taught Me....

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

[2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the shops with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all those sprouts are gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOUR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."

19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOUR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

:And my favorite

25. My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you

**Al-Zaara** · 10-20-2008

Hahaha... Good ones!

I think there are some threads already but.. Nice to get reminded.

My Mum took me when I was 6 and my two younger sisters to the living room and said to punch her hands, so I punched and she punched back. We "fought" a few times and she goes "You sisters have to be prepared to beat up kids who may bully you, teachers aren't always to count on." Hahah thääänks Mum!

**Na7lah** · 10-20-2008

20. My mother taught me HUMOUR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

mums are amazing

**FatimaAsSideqah** · 10-20-2008

its does cracked me up!

**Güven** · 10-20-2008

Just Wait till we get home !

I say this to my lil sis ALOT

**Re.TiReD** · 10-20-2008

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

^

JazakAllah khayr bro

**kwolney01** · 10-20-2008

Wow!! LOL

Those are soo funny but true!! All of us have been told at least a couple of those by our mothers!!! LOL

Thanks for posting borther!!

**Zahida** · 10-20-2008

Couldn't stop laughing best laugh i've had in ages Thanks brother for cheering me up.............although now i am sober from laughter i am applying which one of the above fits me the most!!!!!!!!!

**_Rida_** · 10-21-2008

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home

this one was funny hahahahaha

**Bint-Al-Islam** · 04-11-2009

this really made me laugh.. soo funni

.. I enjoy reading it

**جوري** · 05-06-2009

oh boy do I have fond memories of this one
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."

and of course the 'wait until your father gets home'
I remember how much I hated my mom's cooking as a youngen, and used to tell her I realllllllly love eating in the balcony, well secretly I was dumping it from the top floor, when the witch on the third floor came a knocking, something about my mom's squash and her laundry, and my mother offering to do her laundry again, and my father coming home hahahahahha

somedays it doesn't pay to be a kid...

**Yanal** · 05-06-2009

^

Yeah my mother usually fakes to tell my dad if my little brother is annoying her that "Daddy coffee nahin lako aegan" Translation : Your father will not bring coffee,yes my brother drinks coffee.

**Tilmeez** · 05-06-2009

Moms come in different sizes and colours. But they come with almost the same mindset.

I owe my mom for teaching me great things no scholar could elaborate, only an illiterate mom could teach.

For instance, once I was lying in her lap and asked her to give me some advice (General wise words, which I often ask her) and she said, “Don’t ever be like dogs.” I asked how I could be like dogs. She explained, “If you pick a dog up, he will force you to put him down on the ground.”

**Abu Sukkar** · 05-06-2009

That was classic!

Mums are great!!

**muslim soul** · 05-06-2009

Aslam alaykum
very amusing lol and can relate to quite a few with in my childhood hhh
thanks for sharing
walaykum aslam ur sister in islam

**SouljahOfAllah** · 05-06-2009

Mothers are Amazing no matter were in the world they all use similar quotes, i used to get quiet a few of these but in turkish from my dear ummi *roll eyes*

**ella1126** · 05-22-2009

great mother,tauch and teaching me much more things

**Tony** · 05-22-2009

Excellent

My mums favorite was when I got ina fight she would lock me out of the house untill I had got the upper hand !!!!! was a feirce youngster but doubt that what she did helped me as an adult !

**HopeFul** · 05-22-2009

Hahahaha, it made me laugh soo much because my mum had said ALL of them to me!!!

Hahaha, I think i ahve said a fwe of them to my kdis too, e.g, wait till we get home, and the dont come running to me and the you wont grow up ones!!!

thanks for shairng, this one always makes me laugh!!!

**saba muslimah** · 05-22-2009

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

Oh so true.... nice one
mum always saying this when cooked veges.... "Love u alot Ammi"..

No one like Mother in our entire life

Let's all recite Surah Al-Kahf today!

My Mother Taught Me....

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