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  1. #1
    Al-Hanbali's Avatar
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    My Mother Taught Me....

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    Got this through an email...thought it was hilarious, yet at the same time, kinda true aswell....

    --------------------------------------------------------

    My Mother Taught Me....

    1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
    "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

    [2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
    "You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

    3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
    "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

    4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
    "Because I said so, that's why."

    5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
    "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the shops with me."

    6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
    "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

    7. My mother taught me IRONY
    "Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

    8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
    "Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

    9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
    "Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

    10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
    "You'll sit there until all those sprouts are gone."

    11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
    "This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

    12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
    "If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

    13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
    "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

    14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOUR MODIFICATION.
    "Stop acting like your father!"

    15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
    "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

    16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
    "Just wait until we get home."

    17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
    "You are going to get it when you get home!"

    18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
    "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."

    19. My mother taught me ESP.
    "Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

    20. My mother taught me HUMOUR.
    "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

    21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
    "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

    22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
    "You're just like your father."

    23. My mother taught me about ROOTS.
    "Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

    24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
    "When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

    :And my favorite

    25. My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
    "One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you
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  3. #2
    Al-Zaara's Avatar
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    Re: My Mother Taught Me....

    Hahaha... Good ones! I think there are some threads already but.. Nice to get reminded.

    My Mum took me when I was 6 and my two younger sisters to the living room and said to punch her hands, so I punched and she punched back. We "fought" a few times and she goes "You sisters have to be prepared to beat up kids who may bully you, teachers aren't always to count on." Hahah thääänks Mum!
    My Mother Taught Me....

    If only I had checked myself
    Guy who wrecked himself

    True leaders don't create followers...
    .... They create new leaders.
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  4. #3
    Na7lah's Avatar
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    Re: My Mother Taught Me....

    20. My mother taught me HUMOUR.
    "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."
    mums are amazing
    My Mother Taught Me....

    Learn silence as you have learned speech.
    Speech will guide you, and silence will protect you.
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  5. #4
    FatimaAsSideqah's Avatar
    brightness_1
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    Re: My Mother Taught Me....

    its does cracked me up!
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    Güven's Avatar
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    Re: My Mother Taught Me....



    Just Wait till we get home !

    I say this to my lil sis ALOT


    My Mother Taught Me....


    And as for the one who fears standing in front of His Lord and restrains the soul from impure evil desires and lusts, verily, Paradise will be his abode [79:40-41]
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  8. #6
    Re.TiReD's Avatar
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    Re: My Mother Taught Me....

    3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
    "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

    ^ JazakAllah khayr bro
    My Mother Taught Me....








    s a b r
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  9. #7
    kwolney01's Avatar
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    Re: My Mother Taught Me....

    Wow!! LOL

    Those are soo funny but true!! All of us have been told at least a couple of those by our mothers!!! LOL

    Thanks for posting borther!!
    My Mother Taught Me....

    ~Proud to be a Muslimah~


    ~Love for others what you love for yourself!~
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  10. #8
    Zahida's Avatar
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    Re: My Mother Taught Me....

    Couldn't stop laughing best laugh i've had in ages Thanks brother for cheering me up.............although now i am sober from laughter i am applying which one of the above fits me the most!!!!!!!!!
    My Mother Taught Me....

    Zahida
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  11. #9
    _Rida_'s Avatar
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    Re: My Mother Taught Me....

    17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
    "You are going to get it when you get home

    this one was funny hahahahaha
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    Bint-Al-Islam's Avatar
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    Re: My Mother Taught Me....

    this really made me laugh.. soo funni .. I enjoy reading it
    My Mother Taught Me....

    ☆⌒ღVictory Comes With Patienceღ⌒☆


    wwwislamicboardcom - My Mother Taught Me....
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  14. #11
    جوري's Avatar
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    Re: My Mother Taught Me....

    oh boy do I have fond memories of this one
    16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
    "Just wait until we get home."

    and of course the 'wait until your father gets home'
    I remember how much I hated my mom's cooking as a youngen, and used to tell her I realllllllly love eating in the balcony, well secretly I was dumping it from the top floor, when the witch on the third floor came a knocking, something about my mom's squash and her laundry, and my mother offering to do her laundry again, and my father coming home hahahahahha
    somedays it doesn't pay to be a kid...
    My Mother Taught Me....

    Text without context is pretext
    If your opponent is of choleric temperament, seek to irritate him 44845203 1 - My Mother Taught Me....

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  15. #12
    Yanal's Avatar
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    Re: My Mother Taught Me....

    ^
    Yeah my mother usually fakes to tell my dad if my little brother is annoying her that "Daddy coffee nahin lako aegan" Translation : Your father will not bring coffee,yes my brother drinks coffee.
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  16. #13
    Tilmeez's Avatar
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    Re: My Mother Taught Me....

    Moms come in different sizes and colours. But they come with almost the same mindset.

    I owe my mom for teaching me great things no scholar could elaborate, only an illiterate mom could teach.

    For instance, once I was lying in her lap and asked her to give me some advice (General wise words, which I often ask her) and she said, “Don’t ever be like dogs.” I asked how I could be like dogs. She explained, “If you pick a dog up, he will force you to put him down on the ground.”
    My Mother Taught Me....

    رَبَّنَا اغْفِرْ لَنَا وَلِإِخْوَانِنَا الَّذِينَ سَبَقُونَا بِالْإِيمَانِ وَلَا تَجْعَلْ فِي قُلُوبِنَا غِلًّا لِّلَّذِينَ آمَنُوا رَبَّنَا إِنَّكَ رَؤُوفٌ رَّحِيمٌ



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  17. #14
    Abu Sukkar's Avatar
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    Re: My Mother Taught Me....

    That was classic!

    Mums are great!!
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    muslim soul's Avatar
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    Re: My Mother Taught Me....

    Aslam alaykum
    very amusing lol and can relate to quite a few with in my childhood hhh
    thanks for sharing
    walaykum aslam ur sister in islam
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  20. #16
    SouljahOfAllah's Avatar
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    Re: My Mother Taught Me....

    Mothers are Amazing no matter were in the world they all use similar quotes, i used to get quiet a few of these but in turkish from my dear ummi *roll eyes*
    My Mother Taught Me....

    I dont understand Backbiting - Talk to me in English
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  21. #17
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    Re: My Mother Taught Me....

    great mother,tauch and teaching me much more things
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  22. #18
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    Re: My Mother Taught Me....

    Excellent My mums favorite was when I got ina fight she would lock me out of the house untill I had got the upper hand !!!!! was a feirce youngster but doubt that what she did helped me as an adult !
    My Mother Taught Me....

    "O ye who belive! Endure, outdo all others in endurance, be ready, and observe your duty to Allah, in order that you may succeed"
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    Re: My Mother Taught Me....

    Hahahaha, it made me laugh soo much because my mum had said ALL of them to me!!!

    Hahaha, I think i ahve said a fwe of them to my kdis too, e.g, wait till we get home, and the dont come running to me and the you wont grow up ones!!!

    thanks for shairng, this one always makes me laugh!!!
    My Mother Taught Me....

    Remember Allah much..
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    saba muslimah's Avatar
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    Re: My Mother Taught Me....

    21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
    "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."
    Oh so true.... nice one
    mum always saying this when cooked veges.... "Love u alot Ammi"..

    No one like Mother in our entire life
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