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  1. #1
    aadil77's Avatar
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    Glory Be To Allah

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    Muslim Television Guide

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    This was posted on an anti-islam forum, I found it funny :


    Muslim Television Guide
    ------------------------

    6.00: G-Had TV.
    Morning prayers.

    8.30: Talitubbies.
    Talitubbies say "Eh-oh". Dipsy and Tinky-Winky repair a Stinger missile launcher.

    9.00: Shouts of Praise.
    More prayers.

    10.00: The Apprentice.
    Ten young Muslims complete a variety of tasks each week - one of them will be recruited by prominent Islamist leader Muqtada al-Sadr into a top position in the Mahdi Army.

    11.00: Jihad's Army.
    The Kandahar-on-Sea battalion repulse another attack by evil, imperialist, Zionist backed infidels.

    12.00: Ready, Steady, Jihad!
    Celebrities make lethal devices out of everyday objects.

    12.30: Panoramadan.
    The programme reports on America's attempts to take over the world.

    13.30: Xena.
    Modestly dressed housewife Xena stays at home and does some cooking.

    14.00: Only Fools and Camels.
    Dhal-Boy offloads some Chinese rocket launchers to Hamas.

    14.30: Green Peter.
    The total of Kalashnikovs bought by the milk bottle top appeal is revealed.

    15.00: Madrasah Challenge.
    Two more Islamic colleges meet. Bambah Kaskhain asks the questions. 'Starter for ten, no praying.'

    15.30: I Love 629.
    A look back at the events of the year, including the Prophet's entry into Mecca, and the destruction of pagan idols.

    16.00: Question Time.
    Members of the public face questions from political and religious leaders.

    16.30: Countdown.
    Can the American prisoners defuse the bomb in their cell before the timer runs down?

    17.00: Koranation Street.
    Deirdrie faces execution by stoning for adultery.

    17.30: Middle-East Enders.
    The entire cast is jailed for unislamic behaviour.

    18.00: Holiday.
    The team go on pilgrimage to Mecca. Again.

    18.30: Top of the Prophets.
    Will the Koran be No.1 for the 63,728th week running?

    19.00: Who wants to be a Muhajadin?
    Mahmoud Tarran asks the questions. Will contestants phone a mullah, go 'inshallah', or ask the Islamic council?

    20.00: FILM: Shariah's Angels.
    The three burkha-clad sleuths go undercover to expose an evil scheme to educate women.

    21.30: Big Brother.
    Who will be taken out of the house and executed this week?

    22.00: Imam Ted.
    Sitcom about three imams who live on a tiny island in the Persian Gulf. This week, Imam Dhuga'il accidentally burns down the mosque, while Imam Jakh is stoned to death for drinking alcohol.

    22.30: Shahs in their Eyes.
    More hopefuls imitate famous destroyers of the infidel.

    23.30: They think it's Allah over.
    Quiz culminating in the 'Don't feel the Mullah' round.

    Midnight: When Imams Attack.
    Amusing footage shot secretly in mosques. The filmers were also secretly shot.

    00:.30: The West Bank Show.
    Arts programme looking at anti-Israel graffiti art in the occupied territories.

    01.30: Bhuffi the Infidel Slayer.

    02.00: A book at bedtime.
    The Koran. Again.
    Muslim Television Guide

    33 43 1 - Muslim Television Guide
    He it is Who sends blessings on you, as do His angels, that He may bring you out from the depths of Darkness into Light: and He is Full of Mercy to the Believers. [Quran {33:43}]
    www.QuranicAudio.com
    www.Quran.com
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  3. #2
    S.Belle's Avatar
    brightness_1
    a big giraffe mwah

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    Re: Muslim Television Guide

    ROFL some of these I would actually watch if they were real
    Muslim Television Guide

    "Yesterday is history.
    Tomorrow is a mystery.
    Today is a gift.
    That's why we call it 'The Present'."
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  4. #3
    Ummu Sufyaan's Avatar
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    is in need of dua

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    Re: Muslim Television Guide

    whats so funny about it? its a bunch of rubbish aimed at insulting Muslims this thread needs to go (no offense to thread starter)
    Last edited by Ummu Sufyaan; 01-19-2011 at 01:15 PM.
    Muslim Television Guide

    ...desperate for husnul-khitaam...


    please make dua that Allah grants me a good end (to my life). please make dua that Allah guides me.

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  5. #4
    nature's Avatar
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    Re: Muslim Television Guide

    Lol! ;d
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  7. #5
    Ramadhan's Avatar
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    Re: Muslim Television Guide

    I have mixed feelings about it.
    I tried to hold myself from burst into laughter.
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  8. #6
    'Abd Al-Maajid's Avatar
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    Re: Muslim Television Guide

    They are funny because they were meant to be by mocking Islam and it's beliefs. But they are funny... especially the talitubbies and Xena...lol
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  9. #7
    cuezed's Avatar
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    Re: Muslim Television Guide

    I didn't even break a smile whilst reading that rubbish. The kuffaar mock Islam and Muslims find it funny. Huge disgrace
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  10. #8
    nature's Avatar
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    Re: Muslim Television Guide

    there trying to mock, but how far are they from the truth ?? its light hearted humour, thats all, obviously not every1's gona look at it that way. TBH ive heard a lot worst.
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  11. #9
    sister herb's Avatar
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    Re: Muslim Television Guide

    Wanna see Talitubbies.
    Muslim Television Guide

    From Occupied Palestine:

    We have suffered too much for too long. We will not accept apartheid masked as peace. We will settle for no less than our freedom.



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  13. #10
    Ummu Sufyaan's Avatar
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    is in need of dua

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    Re: Muslim Television Guide

    format_quote Originally Posted by nature View Post
    there trying to mock, but how far are they from the truth ?? its light hearted humour, thats all, obviously not every1's gona look at it that way. TBH ive heard a lot worst.
    if someone you something offensive about you, would you not get offended even if it isn't the truth =)
    Muslim Television Guide

    ...desperate for husnul-khitaam...


    please make dua that Allah grants me a good end (to my life). please make dua that Allah guides me.

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  14. #11
    nature's Avatar
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    Re: Muslim Television Guide

    format_quote Originally Posted by Ummu Sufyaan View Post
    if someone you something offensive about you, would you not get offended even if it isn't the truth =)

    LOL! actually i get offensive stuff sed to me all the time, sumtimes you've just got 2 learn to grow a thick skin. If i got upset over every little thing, i wud be crying every day. I found the thread funny, some dont, whats even more hilarious, is the moron that took the time to compose the initial script.
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  15. #12
    Ğħαrєєвαħ's Avatar
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    Slave of Allaah

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    Re: Muslim Television Guide

    Assalaamu `Alaaykum wa` Rahmatullaah wa` Barahkaatuh

    I agree with sis Umm sufyaan and as it is clearly "obvious" as it is mocking Islaam, and something un-deniable. we shouldnt take such matters lightly or as a joke. Subhaan`Allaah this is only a characteristic of the hypocrite. This may just be my opinion but lets see what Allaah swt your creator has to say regarding this matter. He describes the hyprocrites.

    "The hypocrites fear lest a Surah (chapter of the Quran) should be revealed about them, showing them what is in their hearts. Say: "(Go ahead and) mock! But certainly Allah will bring to light all that you fear." If you ask them (about this), they declare: "We were only talking idly and joking." Say: "Was it at Allah, and His Ayat (proofs, evidences, verses, lessons, signs, revelations, etc.) and His Messenger (SAW) that you were mocking?" [Surah At-tawbah ayah 64-65]

    "The hypocrites, men and women, are from one another, they enjoin (on the people) Al-Munkar (i.e. disbelief and polytheism of all kinds and all that Islam has forbidden), and forbid (people) from Al-Ma'ruf (i.e. Islamic Monotheism and all that Islam orders one to do), and they close their hands [from giving (spending in Allah's Cause) alms, etc.]. They have forgotten Allah, so He has forgotten them. Verily, the hypocrites are the Fasiqun (rebellious, disobedient to Allah)." [Surah at-tawbah ayah 66]

    Clearly in this ayaah Allaah speaks of the Kuffar as the hypocrites, lets not be one of them.

    "Verily! This (the Quran) is the Word that separates (the truth from falsehood, and commands strict legal laws for mankind to cut the roots of evil). And it is not a thing for amusement." [Surah al-taariq]

    "Verily, those who disbelieved in the Reminder (i.e. the Quran) when it came to them (shall receive the punishment). And verily, it is an honourable respected Book (because it is Allah's Speech, and He has protected it from corruption, etc.). (See V.15:9]"Falsehood cannot come to it from before it or behind it (it is) sent down by the All-Wise, Worthy of all praise (Allah).Surah Fussilat :41-42]

    This ayaah speaks of how noble the Quran is as it is the words/speech of Allaah.

    However, clearly the intention of the anti islaamic site (as thread starter mentioned)is to mock Islaam i.e.making fun of Islaam, and we as muslims shouldnt take this lightly. no matter how small it may seem, it is most certainly not a matter to laugh about.


    Insha`Allaah this link can answer what i am trying to point if i do not make sense, please i recommend you check it insha`Allaah.

    http://www.islam-qa.com/en/ref/12930/mocking%20islam

    Forgive me if i sound harsh, my intention is not to, but to make something clear, if i have said anything wrong forgive me and correct me if so..

    Wa `Alaaykum As-salaam wa Rahmatullaah wa Barahkaatuh
    Last edited by Ğħαrєєвαħ; 01-21-2011 at 05:09 PM.
    Muslim Television Guide

    "Allah! La ilaha illa Huwa (none has the right to be worshipped but He), Al-Hayyul-Qayyum (the Ever Living, the One Who sustains and protects all that exists).".."[Al Qur'aan 3:2]
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