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  1. #1
    Array 'Abd Al-Maajid's Avatar
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    The Official Geeks' Thread. (OP)




    This is the official geeks' thread, all geeky/nerdy jokes about math, physics, computers, internet etc goes here. Keep it as geeky as possible.
    Thank you

  2. #21
    Pure Purple's Avatar
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    Re: Official Jokes Thread

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    'Abd Al-Maajid's Avatar
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    Re: Official Jokes Thread

    All that glitters has a high refractive index.
    | Likes marwen, danieldemol liked this post

  5. #23
    'Abd Al-Maajid's Avatar
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    Re: Official Jokes Thread

    Some geeky joke for UNIX fans/users out there. Marwen.

    Sysadmin (n): The untrained being underpaid for doing the impossible with the obsolete.

    Windows95 is a 32-bit extension to a 16-bit shell of an 8-bit OS originally written for a 4-bit microprocessor by a 2-bit company that can't stand 1-bit of competition.

    I've seen Sun monitors on fire off the side of the multimedia lab. I've seen NTU lights glitter in the dark near the Mail Gate. All these things will be lost in time, like the root partition last week. Time to die...

    You know you're a Unix guy when your dreams start with #!/bin/sh.

    I came, I saw, I deleted all your files.

    grep...grep...grep...(frog with UNIX stuck in it's throat)

    Surely the 4 sysadmins of the apocalypse should be: edquota, rm -rf, kill -9, and shutdown.

    Q. What's the difference between Batman and Bill Gates?
    A. When Batman fought the Penguin, he won.

    Behind every great computer sits a skinny little geek.

    :q :q! :wq :w :w! :wq! :quit :quit! :help help helpquit quit quithelp
    :quitplease :quitnow :leave ^X ^C ^C ^D ^Z ^Q QUITDAMMIT ^]:wq I used to do this to exit from vi lol

    Sun bug report (#4102680): "Workaround: don't pound on the mouse like a wild monkey."

    "SPARC" is "CRAPS" backwards

    There are only 10 kinds of people in the world
    Those who understand binary, and those who don't.

    IRC is just multiplayer notepad.

    Although the Buddhists will tell you that desire is the root of suffering,
    my personal experience leads me to point the finger at system administration.

    You can have my Unix system when you pry it from my cold, dead fingers.

    Every bit is sacred, Every bit is right.
    If a bit is wasted, I can't sleep at night.
    Every bit is gorgeous, Every bit is free.
    Admire the shape it forges, In hex and BCD!

    I'm gonna train my children to say sudo instead of please
    Last edited by 'Abd Al-Maajid; 11-01-2011 at 08:47 AM.
    | Likes zAk, Ramadhan, marwen, Abz2000, Muhaba liked this post

  6. #24
    marwen's Avatar
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    Re: Official Jokes Thread

    ^ I love your geeky jokes man

    these ones are the best :

    Quote Originally Posted by 'Abd Al-Maajid View Post
    ...
    Sysadmin (n): The untrained being underpaid for doing the impossible with the obsolete.
    ...
    You know you're a Unix guy when your dreams start with #!/bin/sh.
    ...
    Surely the 4 sysadmins of the apocalypse should be: edquota, rm -rf, kill -9, and shutdown.
    ...
    Behind every great computer sits a skinny little geek.
    ...
    You can have my Unix system when you pry it from my cold, dead fingers.
    ...
    I'm gonna train my children to say sudo instead of please


    now my tummy hurts from laughing
    Last edited by marwen; 10-31-2011 at 08:05 PM.
    | Likes 'Abd Al-Maajid liked this post
    The Official Geeks' Thread.


    "O you who believe! Fear ALLAH as He should be feared" [aal 'Imraan, 102]

    يَـٰٓأَيُّہَا ٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُواْ ٱتَّقُواْ ٱللَّهَ حَقَّ تُقَاتِهِۦ آل عِمرَان - 102




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    'Abd Al-Maajid's Avatar
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    Re: Official Jokes Thread.

    Q: What does the zero say to the the eight?
    A: Nice belt!

    "What is Pi?"
    A mathematician: "Pi is the ratio of the circumference of a circle to its diameter."
    A computer programmer: "Pi is 3.141592653589 in double precision."
    A physicist: "Pi is 3.14159 plus or minus 0.000005."
    An engineer: "Pi is about 22/7."
    A nutritionist: "Pie is a healthy and delicious dessert!"
    | Likes zAk liked this post

  9. #26
    Iconodule's Avatar
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    Re: The Official Geeks' Thread.

    What about humanities geekery (history, philosophy, literature, etc.)?
    The Official Geeks' Thread.

    I do not much like to take the tone of a moralist. But the danger of the baobabs is so little understood, and such considerable risks would be run by anyone who might get lost on an asteroid, that for once I am breaking through my reserve. "Children," I say plainly, "watch out for the baobabs!"

  10. #27
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    Re: The Official Geeks' Thread.

    Yeah, I'm not a "geek" by that definition as I am a history nerd and not a math nerd.

    I do know some things about science though.

  11. #28
    Ğħαrєєвαħ's Avatar
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    Re: The Official Geeks' Thread.

    As'Salaam Alaaykum

    I dont believe the word 'geeky' should be used here, physics, math, computers, internet are all nerdy subjects not 'fun' subjects.

    except maybe for the 'internet'.. The thread should be titled 'Not so Geeky official thread'..or 'Official nerds only thread'.
    That way people will know whether they should click the thread or not.
    The Official Geeks' Thread.

    "Allah! La ilaha illa Huwa (none has the right to be worshipped but He), Al-Hayyul-Qayyum (the Ever Living, the One Who sustains and protects all that exists).".."[Al Qur'aan 3:2]

  12. #29
    'Abd Al-Maajid's Avatar
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    Re: The Official Geeks' Thread.

    Quote Originally Posted by Jεώel oғ ωïѕdoм View Post
    As'Salaam Alaaykum

    I dont believe the word 'geeky' should be used here, physics, math, computers, internet are all nerdy subjects not 'fun' subjects.

    except maybe for the 'internet'.. The thread should be titled 'Not so Geeky official thread'..or 'Official nerds only thread'.
    That way people will know whether they should click the thread or not.
    This thread is created so as to preserve the general jokes thread from certain 'mundane' nerdy jokes...

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    Ğħαrєєвαħ's Avatar
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    Re: The Official Geeks' Thread.

    Quote Originally Posted by 'Abd Al-Maajid View Post
    This thread is created so as to preserve the general jokes thread from certain 'mundane' nerdy jokes...
    I could never understand the certain 'mundane' nerdy jokes posted on the thread. To mention also the word nerd suits this thread best.

    However, you may Continue..

    oh and just noticed this thread was created in some time in 2010, i thought it was created today.

    peace
    Last edited by Ğħαrєєвαħ; 11-02-2011 at 08:57 PM.
    The Official Geeks' Thread.

    "Allah! La ilaha illa Huwa (none has the right to be worshipped but He), Al-Hayyul-Qayyum (the Ever Living, the One Who sustains and protects all that exists).".."[Al Qur'aan 3:2]

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    Re: The Official Geeks' Thread.

    Quote Originally Posted by 'Abd Al-Maajid View Post
    This thread is created so as to preserve the general jokes thread from certain 'mundane' nerdy jokes...
    And you are the biggest culprit after all..

  16. #32
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    Re: The Official Geeks' Thread.

    Quote Originally Posted by Jεώel oғ ωïѕdoм View Post


    I could never understand the certain 'mundane' nerdy jokes posted on the thread. To mention also the word nerd suits this thread best.

    However, you may Continue..

    oh and just noticed this thread was created in some time in 2010, i thought it was created today.

    peace
    Well I'll be....


    you're right.


  17. #33
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    Re: The Official Geeks' Thread.

    i liked these two



    Last edited by Abz2000; 11-04-2011 at 01:18 AM.
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    The Official Geeks' Thread.













  18. #34
    syed1's Avatar
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    Re: The Official Geeks' Thread.

    Okay guys here is the most mind boggling question you will ever face:


    there is a student at a shoe store and he really likes these pair of shoes, however, the price tag is $97.00 . The student is completely broke and so ask 2 of his friend to loan him 50 dollars each so as to have a total of $100.00 .


    He now purchases the pair of shoes for $97.00 dollars and so has 3 dollars remaining all in loonies (1 dollar coins). So as to be fair to the 2 students who loaned him money, he decides to give them 1 dollar each and keep the third dollar to him self as he cannot split it.

    So, now the lenders have got 1 dollar back so they are both owed 49 dollars for a total of 98 dollars, Plus the one dollar that the shoe purchaser still has so that equals a total of 99 dollars (49+49+1) ....


    the question is :
    What happened to the other dollar? ie. there should be 100
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    Re: The Official Geeks' Thread.

    the one dollar that the shoe purchaser still has should not be added to the debt, it should be subtracted from the 98 to attain the price of the shoes,
    so he ultimately borrowed 98, spent 97 on the shoes, has 1 remaining.

    break down:
    after repayment of the 2 dollars change,
    friend 1 gave 49,
    friend 2 gave 49,
    he had 98, spent 97, and still has 1.

    had to puzzle over it like a dimwit for quite a while though!
    Last edited by Abz2000; 11-04-2011 at 03:56 AM.
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    The Official Geeks' Thread.













  21. #36
    syed1's Avatar
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    Re: The Official Geeks' Thread.

    ^^haha yeah, this really makes a bold statement as to how our minds have become so dull with the increase of standardized education..
    it really kills our creativity and our critical thinking...we make things more complex than they need to be..

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    Re: The Official Geeks' Thread.

    Quote Originally Posted by syed1 View Post
    ^^haha yeah, this really makes a bold statement as to how our minds have become so dull with the increase of standardized education..
    it really kills our creativity and our critical thinking...we make things more complex than they need to be..
    if you like those kind of questions, go over here http://www.islamicboard.com/puzzles-...-knows-73.html

  23. #38
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    Re: The Official Geeks' Thread.

    A guy gets on a bus and starts threatening everybody: "I'll integrate you! I'll differentiate you!!!" So everybody gets scared and runs away. Only one person stays. The guy comes up to him and says: "Aren't you scared, I'll integrate you, I'll differentiate you!!!" And the other guy says; "No, I am not scared, I am e^x."

    The Official Geeks' Thread.


    "O you who believe! Fear ALLAH as He should be feared" [aal 'Imraan, 102]

    يَـٰٓأَيُّہَا ٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُواْ ٱتَّقُواْ ٱللَّهَ حَقَّ تُقَاتِهِۦ آل عِمرَان - 102




  24. #39
    syed1's Avatar
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    Re: The Official Geeks' Thread.

    ^^ is it e^-1?

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    Re: The Official Geeks' Thread.

    BWuahahahahaaaaaa.... love it.


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