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  1. #1
    Array 'Abd Al-Maajid's Avatar
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    The Official Geeks' Thread. (OP)




    This is the official geeks' thread, all geeky/nerdy jokes about math, physics, computers, internet etc goes here. Keep it as geeky as possible.
    Thank you

  2. #61
    AabiruSabeel's Avatar
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    Re: The Official Geeks' Thread.

    Report bad ads?



    Newton probably didn't ask that. There's no chain of narration.
    The Official Geeks' Thread.

    تَقَـبَّـلَ اللهُ مِنَّـا وَمِنْـكُم

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    Re: The Official Geeks' Thread.

    Aman was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess."
    He bent over, picked up the frog, and put it in his pocket.
    The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will tell everyone how smart and brave you are and how you are my hero"
    The man took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it, and returned it to his pocket.
    The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will be your loving companion for an entire week."
    The man took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it, and returned it to his pocket.
    The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you for a year and do ANYTHING you want."
    Again the man took the frog out, smiled at it, and put it back into his pocket.
    Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess, that I'll stay with you for a year and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?"
    The man said, "Look, I'm a computer programmer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog is cool."

  5. #63
    Muezzin's Avatar
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    Re: The Official Geeks' Thread.


  6. #64
    AabiruSabeel's Avatar
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    Re: The Official Geeks' Thread.


    | Likes Beardo, 'Abd Al-Maajid liked this post
    The Official Geeks' Thread.

    تَقَـبَّـلَ اللهُ مِنَّـا وَمِنْـكُم

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  8. #65
    Abz2000's Avatar
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    Re: The Official Geeks' Thread.


    DNS User: My keyboard is not working anymore.



    DNS Help Desk: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?



    DNS User: No. I can't get behind the computer.



    DNS Help Desk: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back



    DNS User:! OK



    DNS Help Desk: Did the keyboard come with you?



    DNS User: Yes



    DNS Help Desk: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard?



    DNS User: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work....


    ----------------------------------------


    DNS User: I can't get on the Internet.


    DNS Help Desk: Are you sure you used the right password?


    DNS User: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.


    DNS Help Desk: Can you tell me what the password was?




    DNS User: Five stars. *****




    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


    DNS User: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer,

    but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.
    Last edited by Abz2000; 12-18-2011 at 02:55 AM.
    | Likes Haya emaan, marwen, sis muslimah liked this post
    The Official Geeks' Thread.













  9. #66
    marwen's Avatar
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    Re: The Official Geeks' Thread.

    ^ hilarious
    The Official Geeks' Thread.


    "O you who believe! Fear ALLAH as He should be feared" [aal 'Imraan, 102]

    يَـٰٓأَيُّہَا ٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُواْ ٱتَّقُواْ ٱللَّهَ حَقَّ تُقَاتِهِۦ آل عِمرَان - 102




  10. #67
    AabiruSabeel's Avatar
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    Re: The Official Geeks' Thread.


    | Likes Haya emaan, Abz2000, sis muslimah liked this post
    The Official Geeks' Thread.

    تَقَـبَّـلَ اللهُ مِنَّـا وَمِنْـكُم

  11. #68
    ~Raindrop~'s Avatar
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    Re: The Official Geeks' Thread.

    ^I actually got that error message in the office last week. Some joker had pulled the cable out

  12. #69
    Abz2000's Avatar
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    Re: The Official Geeks' Thread.

    ^ so did you press F1 or DEL?
    | Likes marwen liked this post
    The Official Geeks' Thread.













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    marwen's Avatar
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    Re: The Official Geeks' Thread.

    ^ Actually that message means : find your keyboard, plug it, then press F1 to continue. But as you know, computers(scientists) have such stupid wording.
    | Likes 'Abd Al-Maajid liked this post
    The Official Geeks' Thread.


    "O you who believe! Fear ALLAH as He should be feared" [aal 'Imraan, 102]

    يَـٰٓأَيُّہَا ٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُواْ ٱتَّقُواْ ٱللَّهَ حَقَّ تُقَاتِهِۦ آل عِمرَان - 102




  15. #71
    marwen's Avatar
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    Re: The Official Geeks' Thread.

    Protocols :

    • A TCP packet walks into a bar and says, "I'd like a beer." The bartender replies, "You want a beer?" The TCP packet replies, "Yes, I'd like a beer."
    • A UDP packet walks into a bar, the bartender says "Hello, what can I get you". The UDP packet doesnt acknowledge.
    • A Broadcast packet walks into a bar, screams to the bartender, "HEY MAC! I WANT A BEER!" Everyone else in the bar hears him but chooses to ignore him.
    • An ARP packet walks into a bar and introduces himself
    • A RARP packet walks into the bar and knows your name, but needs to know your address.
    • A Multicast Packet walks into a bar and says "A Beer for everyone!" and everyone gets the beer at the same time.
    • An AppleTalk packet walks into a bar and orders a beer, but nobody understands.
    • IPv4 walks into a bar The bartender asks, "what'll it be?" IPv4 responds, "a strong CIDR please... I'm exhausted."
    • Bit Torrent packet go to bar and asks for beer. Everyone in the bar who have beer gives him a sip

    *************************
    A physicist, a biologist, and a programmer are sitting at a café across from an empty building. They observe two people enter and then, later, three leave.
    The physicist says, "Apparently there was some error with our measurements." The biologist says, "Obviously, they reproduced while in the building."
    The programmer replies " they must've used a backdoor".

    *************************
    So Helium walks into a bar and orders a beer, the bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve noble gases here." Helium doesn't react.
    *************************
    x2 and ex are at a party. x2 is having a blast, but ex is sitting in a corner by himself. Eventually, x2 comes over and says, "hey ex, why don't you try a bit harder to integrate?" ex replies, "It's no use. It wouldn't make a difference."

    *************************
    Why do computer programmers confuse Halloween and Christmas?
    Because OCT 31 = DEC 25.

    *************************
    M.C. Escher walks into a bar. The bartender says, "hey, want to hear a joke? Okay, so M.C. Escher walks into a bar. The bartender says, "hey, want to hear a joke? Okay, so M.C. Escher walks into a bar. The bartender says, "hey, want to hear a joke? Okay, so...

    *************************
    How do you get a philosophy major off your door step?
    Pay for the pizza.

    *************************
    How many narcissists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
    One. He sticks the bulb in the socket and waits for the room to revolve around him.

    *************************
    An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer. The second orders half a beer. The third orders 1/4 of a beer. The fifth orders 1/8 of a beer (...)
    The bartender says, "You're all idiots," and pours two beers.


    http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/co...llectual_joke/
    The Official Geeks' Thread.


    "O you who believe! Fear ALLAH as He should be feared" [aal 'Imraan, 102]

    يَـٰٓأَيُّہَا ٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُواْ ٱتَّقُواْ ٱللَّهَ حَقَّ تُقَاتِهِۦ آل عِمرَان - 102




  16. #72
    'Abd Al-Maajid's Avatar
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    Re: The Official Geeks' Thread.

    ^ Loved the jokes...

  17. #73
    Ramadhan's Avatar
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    Re: The Official Geeks' Thread.

    LOOOOL!

    Those are the funniest geeky jokes I've heard in a while!
    The Official Geeks' Thread.






  18. #74
    AabiruSabeel's Avatar
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    Re: The Official Geeks' Thread.

    If Apple sold water


    The Official Geeks' Thread.

    تَقَـبَّـلَ اللهُ مِنَّـا وَمِنْـكُم

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    sis muslimah's Avatar
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    Re: The Official Geeks' Thread.

    Quote Originally Posted by marwen View Post
    so helium walks into a bar and orders a beer, the bartender says, "sorry, we don't serve noble gases here." helium doesn't react.
    *************************
    x2 and ex are at a party. X2 is having a blast, but ex is sitting in a corner by himself. Eventually, x2 comes over and says, "hey ex, why don't you try a bit harder to integrate?" ex replies, "it's no use. It wouldn't make a difference."
    ;d;d;d
    The Official Geeks' Thread.

    The life of this world is our journey, NOT destination !!! So... Be always the Best Traveller... who always wish to go back to our Final Home... in Jannah !!! ♥

  21. #76
    'Abd Al-Maajid's Avatar
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    Re: The Official Geeks' Thread.


  22. #77
    'Abd Al-Maajid's Avatar
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    Re: The Official Geeks' Thread.

    Remember these partial differential equations?

    | Likes Abu Zainab, Beardo, sis muslimah, ~Zaria~ liked this post

  23. #78
    'Abd Al-Maajid's Avatar
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    Re: The Official Geeks' Thread.

    Still he has a nice tie.

    | Likes zAk, Muezzin, ~Raindrop~, Ramadhan, tw009 liked this post

  24. #79
    'Abd Al-Maajid's Avatar
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    Re: The Official Geeks' Thread.


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    Who Am I?'s Avatar
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    Re: The Official Geeks' Thread.

    | Likes Muezzin, Innocent Soul, Beardo, Ramadhan, tw009 liked this post


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