Share your Lame Jokes!!

**Cptn._.Mario** · 10-12-2017

What do you call a cheap circumcision?

A rip off

**M.I.A.** · 10-12-2017

A city boy, Kenny, moved to the country and bought a donkey from an old farmer for $100. The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day.

The next day the farmer drove up and said: “Sorry son, but I have some bad news. The donkey died.”

Kenny replied, “Well then, just give me my money back.”

The farmer said, “Can’t do that. I went and spent it already.”

Kenny said, “OK, then just unload the donkey.”

The farmer asked, “What ya gonna do with him?”

Kenny: “I’m going to raffle him off.”

Farmer: “You can’t raffle off a dead donkey!”

Kenny: “Sure I can. Watch me. I just won’t tell anybody he is dead.”

A month later the farmer met up with Kenny and asked, “What happened with that dead donkey?”

Kenny: “I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at $2 a piece and made a profit of $998.00.”

Farmer: “Didn’t anyone complain?”

Kenny: “Just the guy who won. So I gave him his $2 back.”

Kenny grew up and eventually became the chairman of Enron

**Cptn._.Mario** · 10-13-2017

Kid asked his mother, "did I inherit my intelligence from you or father?"

The mother responds, "Your father of course - I still have mine".

**Cptn._.Mario** · 10-14-2017

My math teacher called me average.

How mean!

**Cptn._.Mario** · 10-14-2017

Saturday and Sunday are the strongest days because?

The rest of the days are weak days

**RisingLight** · 10-15-2017

Why did shaytan refuse to cut onions and put them in his ps3?

He was afraid that : "Devil may cry"

**Cptn._.Mario** · 10-15-2017

Why didn't the chicken wake up?

Cos it was in a kurma (kurma is a type of gravy)

**rozyred** · 10-15-2017

How does a Muslim close the door? Islams it.

**RisingLight** · 10-15-2017

Whats does shaytan and a beautiful blonde girl have in common?

Their devilish looks

**Cptn._.Mario** · 10-31-2017

What's green and red and goes round and round?

A frog in a blender

**Eric H** · 10-31-2017

The man woke up after having his leg amputated.
The surgeon said, we have some good news and some bad news. The bad news is, we cut off the wrong leg, but the good news is, your bad leg is getting better.

Ok, that's half a lame joke, the guy still has one leg.

***charisma*** · 10-31-2017

Assalamu Alaikum

A woman was shopping at a grocery store. She picked up some eggs, a carton of milk, a loaf of bread and went to the checkout. A man, who was standing in line right behind her, asked "Are you single?

" Blushing, she replied, "Why, yes I am!" He said "I thought so.." She then asked, "But how did you know? Is it because of the things I bought?" He said, "No, it's because you're ugly."

**sister herb** · 10-31-2017

^ That wasn´t nice joke. I think many women has to listen such rude comments in real life - too many times. And it hurts! To @*charisma*

***charisma*** · 10-31-2017

Originally Posted by sister herb

^ That wasn´t nice joke. I think many women has to listen such rude comments in real life - too many times. And it hurts! To @*charisma*

Everyone has their own sense of humor I guess...mine is kinda twisted

Anyone who has the audacity to call someone else ugly is not all that beautiful themselves though.

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Arabic joke: A man was professing his love to his wife. He said, "You're the most beautiful woman ever, I want to put my feet on your face!" Astonished, his wife asked him, "Why would you want to do that?!" With endearment in his eyes he replied, "So I could tell the whole world that I was standing on the moon.

**happymuslim** · 11-01-2017

Guy: you know..your like.. the average female, nothings quite special about you, just like err one else

Girl: your mean!!

Guy: no you are..

(Like if u get)

**Cptn._.Mario** · 11-01-2017

Never criticize someone until you have walked a mile in their shoes.

That way, when you criticize them, you’ll be a mile away, and you’ll have their shoes.

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My friend thinks he is smart. He told me an onion is the only food that makes you cry,
so I threw a coconut at his face.

**jameelash** · 11-01-2017

Jokes r ok but please avoid jokes of ladies .it doesnt fit for a muslim and especially in islamic board which had been keeping its high standard for years

**Scimitar** · 11-01-2017

a man walks into a bar...

...ouch!

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What do you call an angry cross wielding Christian?

A Crosstian

**syphax** · 11-02-2017

Do you know who are the nightmare of the US ?
Kazakhstan Chinese looking Muslims who speak Russian

**RisingLight** · 11-02-2017

How do you call a dog with no legs?

It doesnt matter what you call him.He isnt coming

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How do you call a sheep with no legs?

A cloud