× Register Login What's New! Contact us
Results 1 to 6 of 6 visibility 1382
  1. #1
    mahuruf's Avatar
    brightness_1
    Full Member

    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Gender
    Male
    Religion
    Islam
    Posts
    266
    Threads
    16
    Rep Power
    93
    Rep Ratio
    8
    Likes Ratio
    1

    Traditional Economics

    Report bad ads?

    TRADITIONAL ECONOMICS

    You have two cows.
    You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies and the economy grows.
    You retire on the income.


    INDIAN ECONOMICS
    You have two cows.
    You worship them.

    PAKISTAN ECONOMICS
    You don't have any cows.
    You claim that the Indian cows belong to you.
    You ask the US for financial aid, China for military aid, Britain for
    warplanes, Italy for machines, Germany for technology, France for
    submarines, Switzerland for loans, Russia for drugs and Japan for
    equipment. You buy the cows with all this and claim of exploitation by the
    world.

    AMERICAN ECONOMICS
    You have two cows.
    You sell one and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. You
    profess surprise when the cow drops dead.
    You put the blame on some nation with cows & naturally that nation will be
    a danger to mankind.
    You wage a war to save the world and grab the cows.

    FRENCH ECONOMICS
    You have two cows.
    You go on strike because you want three cows.

    GERMAN ECONOMICS
    You have two cows.
    You reengineer them so that they live for 100 years, eat once a month and
    milk themselves.

    BRITISH ECONOMICS
    You have two cows.
    They are both mad.

    ITALIAN ECONOMICS
    You have two cows.
    You don't know where they are. You break for lunch.

    SWISS ECONOMICS
    You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you.
    You charge others for storing them.

    JAPANESE ECONOMICS
    You have two cows.
    You redesign them so that they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow
    and produce twenty times the milk.
    You then create cute cartoon cow images called Cowkimon and market them
    worldwide.

    RUSSIAN ECONOMICS
    You have two cows.
    You count them and learn you have five cows.
    You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
    You count them again and learn you have 17 cows.
    You give up counting and open another bottle of vodka.

    CHINESE ECONOMICS
    You have two cows.
    You have 300 people milking them.
    You claim full employment, high bovine productivity and arrest anyone
    reporting the actual numbers.
    Last edited by mahuruf; 03-19-2006 at 02:36 PM.
    Traditional Economics

    [S]Islam is my path[/S]
    Walkingmand 1 - Traditional Economics
    [S]Aakirah is my destination[/S]
    Quote Quote

  2. Report bad ads?
  3. #2
    shible's Avatar
    brightness_1
    wat to Say?

    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    now in Brussels (Belgium)
    Gender
    Male
    Religion
    Islam
    Posts
    1,056
    Threads
    161
    Rep Power
    94
    Rep Ratio
    41
    Likes Ratio
    5

    Post eCOWnomics



    Statutory Warning:

    The Content Below is Focused only for Humor and not to harm anyone's feelings



    eCOWnomics and COWism's


    TRADITIONAL ECONOMICS:
    You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies and the economy grows. You retire on the income.


    INFOSYS ECONOMICS:
    You have 2 cows. You put both of them on the bench. And hire another to do the job.


    WIPRO ECONOMICS:
    You have two cows. You don't have any onsite requirement. You process visa for both & train them how to milk. Then let them find a different place.


    TCS ECONOMICS:
    You have 2 cows You tell them that only one will go to onsite. You ask both of them to fight for the only H1B Visa. Both of them die after fighting.


    HCL ECONOMICS:
    You have 2 cows You milk them only for 24 hours on just 7 days a week. They run away.


    PCS ECONOMICS:
    You have 2 cows You train them for two months on how to milk themselves. Then u ask them to pull bullock carts


    INDIAN ECONOMICS:
    You have two cows. You worship them.


    PAKISTAN ECONOMICS:
    You dont have any cows. You claim that the Indian cows belong to you. You ask the US for financial aid, China for military aid, British for Warplanes, Italy for machines, Germany for technology, French for submarines, Switzerland for loans, Russia for drugs and Japan for equipment. You instigate cows to disown India with all this and claim of exploitation by the world.


    AMERICAN ECONOMICS:
    You have two cows. You sell one and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. You profess surprise when the cow drops dead.


    FRENCH ECONOMICS:
    You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.


    GERMAN ECONOMICS:
    You have two cows. You reengineer them so that they live for 100 years, eat once a month and milk themselves.


    BRITISH ECONOMICS:
    You have two cows. They are both mad cows.


    ITALIAN ECONOMICS:
    You have two cows. You don't know where they are. You break for lunch.


    SWISS ECONOMICS:
    You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you. You charge others for storing them.


    JAPANESE ECONOMICS:
    You have two cows. You redesign them so that they are onetenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create cute cartoon cow images called Cowkimon and market them worldwide.


    RUSSIAN ECONOMICS:
    You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 17 cows. You give up counting and open another bottle of vodka.


    CHINESE ECONOMICS:
    You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity and arrest anyone reporting the actual numbers.


    FEUDAL ISM
    You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk.


    PURE SOCIAL ISM
    You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. You have to take care of all the cows. The government gives you a glass of milk.


    SOCIAL ISM:
    You have two cows. You keep one and give the other to your neighbour.


    BUREAUCRATIC SOCIAL ISM
    Your cows are cared for by ex-chicken farmers. You have to take care of the chickens the government took from the chicken farmers. The government gives you as much milk and eggs as the regulations say you should need.


    FASCISM
    You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take care of them, and sells you the milk.


    PURE COMMUNISM
    You share two cows with your neighbors. You and your neighbors bicker about who has the most "ability" and who has the most "need". Meanwhile, no one works, no one gets any milk, and the cows drop dead of starvation.


    COMMUNISM:
    You have two cows. The Government takes both and shares the milk with you and your neighbour.


    RUSSIAN COMMUNISM
    You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the government takes all the milk. You steal back as much milk as you can and sell it on the black market.


    PERESTROIKA
    You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the Mafia takes all the milk. You steal back as much milk as you can and sell it on the "free" market.


    NAZI-ISM
    You have two cows. The government takes both and shoots you.


    DICTATORSHIP
    You have two cows. The government takes both and drafts you.


    PURE DEMOCRACY
    You have two cows. Your neighbors decide who gets the milk.


    REPRESENTATIVE DEMOCRACY
    You have two cows. Your neighbors pick someone to tell you who gets the milk.


    BUREAUCRACY:
    You have two cows. You fill in 17 forms in triplicate and you don't have time to milk them.


    BUREAUCRACY
    You have two cows. At first the government regulates what you can feed them and when you can milk them. Then it pays you not to milk them. Then it takes both, shoots one, milks the other and pours the milk down the drain. Then it requires you to fill out forms accounting for the missing cows.


    CAPITAL ISM:
    You have two cows. You milk them and pour the lot down the drain to keep the price up.


    CAPITAL ISM
    You don't have any cows. The bank will not lend you money to buy cows, because you don't have any cows to put up as collateral.


    APARTHEID:
    You have two cows. You give the black cow's milk to the white cow to drink and don't milk the white cow.


    WELFARE STATE:
    You have two cows. You milk them and give them the milk to drink.


    UNITED NATIONS:
    You have two cows. Russia vetoes the farmer from milking them. Britain and France veto the cows from milking the farmers. USA abstains.


    PURE ANARCHY
    You have two cows. Either you sell the milk at a fair price or your neighbors try to take the cows and kill you.


    ANARCH ISM:
    You have two cows. The cows shoot you and milk each other.


    SURREAL ISM
    You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.


    OLYMPICS-ISM
    You have two cows, one American, one Chinese. With the help of trilling violins and state-of-the-art montage photography, John Tesh narrates the moving tale of how the American cow overcame the agony of growing up in a suburb with (gasp) divorced parents, then mentions in passing that the Chinese cow was beaten every day by a tyrannical farmer and watched its parents butchered before its eyes. The American cow wins the competition, severely spraining an udder in a gritty performance, and gets a multi-million dollar contract to endorse Wheaties. The Chinese cow is led out of the arena and shot by Chinese government officials, though no one ever hears about it. McDonald's buys the meat and serves it hot and fast at its Beijing restaurant.


    IDEAL ISM:
    You have two cows. You marry and your wife milks them.


    REAL ISM:
    You have two cows. You get married and you still milk them.


    COMMONSENSE:
    You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.


    Advani ism
    You have two cows. You don't milk them. You worship them.


    Chandrababu ism
    You have two cows in Vijayawada. You hook them to internet and milk them from Hyderabad.


    Jayalalitha ism
    You have two cows. You teach them to cry, "Ammaaaaaaa..." and fall at your feet.


    Karunanidhi ism
    You have two cows. You give one to your son and the other to your nephew.


    Gandh ism
    You have two cows. But you drink goat's milk.


    Indira ism
    You have two bulls. You adamantly consider them as cows.


    Laloo ism
    You have two cows. You buy Rs. 900 Crore worth of cattle-feed for them.


    Rajnikant ism
    You have two cows. You throw them into air and catch their milk in your mouth.


    Rajiv ism
    You have two cows. You paint them both to get colorful milk.


    Vajpayee ism
    You have two cows. You distribute the milk among your partners and eat cattle-feed.


    Clinton ism
    You have two cows. But you milk your neighbors' cows.


    Osama ism
    You have two cows. You convert them into biological weapons.


    Taliban ism
    You have two cows. You put them in purdah.


    UN-ism
    You have two cows. You don't milk them; you only lecture to them.


    Softwarism:
    Client has two cows and you need to milk them:
    1. First prepare a document when to milk them (Project kickoff)
    2. Prepare a document how long you have to milk them(Project plan)
    3. Then prepare how to milk them(Design)
    4. Then prepare what other accessories are needed to milk them (Framework)
    5. Then prepare two dummy cows (sort of toy cows) and show to client the way in which you will milk them (UI Mockups & POC)
    6. If client is not satisfied then redo step 2
    7. You actually start milking them and find that there are few problem with accessories.(Change framework). Redo step 4
    8. At last milk them and send it to onsite. (Coding over)
    9. Make sure that cow milks properly (Testing)
    10. Onsite reports that it is not milking there
    11. You break your head and find that onsite is trying to milk from bulls
    12. At last onsite milk them and send to client (Testing)
    13. Client says the quality of milk is not good. (User Acceptance Test)
    14. Offsite then slogs and improves the quality of milk
    15. Now the client says that the quality is good but its milking at slow rate (performance issue)
    16. Again you slog and send it with good performance
    17. Client is happy
    18. But... By this time both the cows aged and can't milk


    INFOSYS ism
    You have a thousand poor cows. You put them on a nice campus, and send them one at a time to the US for milking.


    WIPRO ism
    GE has a cow. You take 49% of the milk.


    DELL ism
    Intel has a Goat. Samsung has a Camel. Buy milk from both and sell it as Cow's milk.


    IBM ism
    You have old stubborn cows. You sell them as pet dogs to unsuspecting small businessmen.


    MICROSOFT ism
    You have a cow. Force the world to buy milk from you. Spend a million dollars to feed poorer cows.


    INTEL ism
    Microsoft makes horse shoes. You nail them to your cows and wonder why they don't run fast.


    SUN ism
    You have a bull. It doesn't give milk. You hate Microsoft.


    ORACLE ism
    You have a cow. You don't know which side to milk, so you sell tools to help milk cows.


    SAP ism
    You don't have a cow. You sell milking solutions for cows implimented by milking consultants.


    APPLE ism
    You have a cow. You sell iMilk.


    SONY ism
    You have a cow. You spend 50 million dollars to develop the world's thinnest milk.


    3M ism
    You have a cow that gives 10 gallons of milk per day. You sell the manure as a "High-performance Agricultural Additive".


    HP ism
    You don't know if what you have is a cow. You sell complete milking solutions through Authorized Resellers only.


    GE ism
    You have a donkey. People think you have a 100-year old cow. If someone finds out, that's his imagination at work.


    RELIANCE ism
    You don't yet have a cow. You sell empty cans to people for Rs. 501, because Dhirubhai wanted everyone to have milk.


    TATA ism
    You have a very old cow. You re-brand it as TATA Indicow.


    CITIBANK ism
    Welcome to citibank. If you have a cow, press one. If you have a bull, press two....stay on the line if you would like our customer care officer to milk it for you...


    Quote Quote

  4. #3
    shible's Avatar
    brightness_1
    wat to Say?

    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    now in Brussels (Belgium)
    Gender
    Male
    Religion
    Islam
    Posts
    1,056
    Threads
    161
    Rep Power
    94
    Rep Ratio
    41
    Likes Ratio
    5

    Re: eCOWnomics

    i Hope it's not been posted yet
    Quote Quote

  5. #4
    shible's Avatar
    brightness_1
    wat to Say?

    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    now in Brussels (Belgium)
    Gender
    Male
    Religion
    Islam
    Posts
    1,056
    Threads
    161
    Rep Power
    94
    Rep Ratio
    41
    Likes Ratio
    5

    Re: Traditional Economics

    Thanks for the Merge Mods
    Quote Quote

  6. Report bad ads?
  7. #5
    Abdul-Raouf's Avatar
    brightness_1
    cageprisoners.com

    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    India
    Gender
    Male
    Religion
    Islam
    Posts
    2,323
    Threads
    351
    Rep Power
    98
    Rep Ratio
    50
    Likes Ratio
    8

    Talking Re: Traditional Economics

    Full of Laughter...
    Quote Quote

  8. #6
    shible's Avatar
    brightness_1
    wat to Say?

    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    now in Brussels (Belgium)
    Gender
    Male
    Religion
    Islam
    Posts
    1,056
    Threads
    161
    Rep Power
    94
    Rep Ratio
    41
    Likes Ratio
    5

    Re: Traditional Economics

    Thanks Bro
    Quote Quote


  9. Hide
Hey there! Traditional Economics Looks like you're enjoying the discussion, but you're not signed up for an account.

When you create an account, we remember exactly what you've read, so you always come right back where you left off. You also get notifications, here and via email, whenever new posts are made. And you can like posts and share your thoughts. Traditional Economics
Sign Up

Similar Threads

  1. No thanks to Egypt/Israeli economics.
    By جوري in forum General
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 09-09-2012, 10:48 PM
  2. BSc Economics LSE
    By GuestFellow in forum Education Issues
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: 04-02-2011, 07:07 PM
  3. Economics Section?
    By starfortress in forum Feedback & Suggestions
    Replies: 7
    Last Post: 12-22-2006, 07:58 AM
  4. What is the economics of an Islamic state?
    By vegael2003 in forum Miscellaneous
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 08-27-2006, 02:38 PM
  5. economics
    By Abdul Fattah in forum Education Issues
    Replies: 7
    Last Post: 07-30-2006, 02:55 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
create