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  1. #1
    Array *charisma*'s Avatar
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    "Behind the Scenes" of IB (OP)


    Assalamu Alaikum

    Alright, I sorta wrote this a long time ago...and was VERY hesitant about posting it, but I guess it distroys the whole purpose of writing it: to share it with all of you! Well, I've been here long enough to know many of the EXTRAORDINARY members that make LI unique and special Mashallah, including the nonmuslims who have had to deal with our craziness..

    Anyways I wrote this on my free time *during class when it got soo boring*, and it's a bit outdated, but those of you who have been here for a few months, should know what is going on Inshallah..Alright, Imma shut up now and let you all read..


    Characters in this Scene (so the newbies don't get lost):


    Ofcoarse the Golden Title is given to the
    Head Administrator of LI:


    Kadafi : Creator of LI (Barak Allahu Feek!)
    Administrators of LI (shades included ofcoarse):

    Ansar: One of LI’s top refuter
    Khaldun : The “Quiet” Mod, expresses himself with a raise of an eyebrow…amazing hafidh mashallah, also helped with the creation of LI
    The SuperMods also referred to as
    SM's of LI:


    Far7an: Most sarcastic, and top SM at LI
    zAk: Who doesn’t know him!
    Muhammed: One of the more knowledgeable brothers…closes threads in peace
    Ra'eesah:Mashallah, Very knowledgable, an amazing mod mashallah, but no longer with us *sigh*
    Brownies a.k.a "the kids", but formally known as the
    Moderators of LI:


    Mamsoo- Is now known and referred to as Labiba..(sorry gal, mamsoo will always be stuck with me)
    Ahmed-LI’sHalo addict!
    Halima- LI’s Fatwa distributer
    Rabi'ya- The "Quiet" sister mod
    Fi- Very knowledgeable bro, mini version of Ansar, always has ahadith at the tip of his fingertips!
    Full Members (majority of LI, we rule! 'cept when we get warnings :X)
    czgibson- LI's nonmuslim refuter, english teacher, and excellent character *if you read this thread, please ignore the spelling and grammar mistakes..*
    *disclaimer: characters based on real people, and real life events
    **THIS WAS NOT WRITTEN TO OFFEND ANYONE!! IF MODS FEEL THAT IT IS SOMEWHAT OFFENDING OR PROVIDES A NEGATIVE ENVIRONMENT FOR LI, PLEASE FEEL FREE TO DELETE WITHOUT CONSENT**



    Part - I
    ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Main Room
    Everyone is sitting on a nice recliner chair sipping on their favorite drink, except the mods who sat at the trainee table (excluding mamsoo, cuz shes not a kid ) Mamsoo and Ra'eesah are discussing social frailities in ths world, while the brother SMs (supermods) are discussing the destruction of the marriage section.

    zAk: it must go, too many kids

    Far7an: I agree, there topics are childish

    zAk: v must talk to kadafi about it

    Muhammed: But, ppl would lose their (moderating) jobs

    zAk: hmmmmmmm

    far7an: well we can assign them to another section

    zAk: ah

    Muhammed: what about those that need real advice?

    zAk: v have the counselling section

    far7an: when will Kada---

    All of a sudden Kadafi comes in with Ansar and khaldun behind him, both wearing shades.
    Kadafi looks around then signals with his hand the SMs to the 'back office'

    zAk and far7an slowly walk behind them whispering to eachother.


    zAk: what's with ansar and khaldun wearing the shades? *raises eyebrow SS style*

    far7an: Authority

    zAk: ah.

    Muhammed: I thought it was cuz its sunny today :confused:

    All of them shrug and walk into the office.

    BACK INTO THE MAIN ROOM

    some gossip was going on between the "kids" about why the SM's were called back

    Ahmad: I heard they were going to add another section

    Mamsoo: I heard they were going to let someone go *shocked*

    Fi: well whatever it is we shouldn't be talking about it, lets be patient and ask them when they return inshallah *insert hadith here*

    Halima: I agree

    All sit there in a moment of silence

    Ahmad: So, anyone up for pizza?

    Fi: We're on a budget *sigh*

    Ahmad: Anyone willing to donate :brother:

    Mamsoo: Ok, Ok, I'll pay for the pizza this time

    Halima: no no no dont pay for all of it, ill pay half

    Rabiya: ok, lets all pitch in

    Mamsoo: nonsense! I said i was going to pay for it

    Halima: I said i was gonna pay half, rabiya dont worry bout it

    Rabiya: well i wont eat if im not even gonna pitch in my part.

    Mamsoo: ok that's enough, i said i was paying, so I'm paying, alright?

    Halima: Well ok whatever, when the pizza man comes, I'll just pay half

    Sisters continue to bicker over the pizza

    Fi and Ahmad look at each other

    Ahmad: We're never gonna get our pizza, are we...

    Fi: not unless u start bringing in your own money

    INSIDE THE BACK OFFICE

    kadafi: so what is all this about?

    Ansar: I was refuting czgibson...Inshallah this wont take long *ahem*

    SuperMods get a bit nervous

    Ra'essah: I have no clue whats going on, so dont ask me.

    Far7an: well, zAk and i were discussing how it might be gud to close the marriage section for a bit.

    zAk: more like forever.

    Ansar: *sigh*

    Khaldun: ah, let the kids have their fun

    Kadafi: and how will the closure of this section help or benefit the forum?

    zAk: *cough* *looks at farhan*

    far7an looks back at zAk signaling him to say something. Kadafi raises his eyebrow, waiting patiently for a reply.
    zAk: vell how does it help the forum if v dont close it? :brother:

    Far7an: *looks at zAk because of his response* well, the topics are getting useless and there is no benefit to them. If a member wants real help, they can look at past threads or use the counseling section.


    TO BE CONTINUED . . . . . (don't worry, more members have already been added to the next scenes..just be patient Inshallah)

    Link to Part II

    Link to Part III

    Link to Part IV

    Link to Part V

    Link to Part VI

    Link to Part VII

    Link to Part VIII

    Link to Part IX-I

    Link to Part IX-II

    Link to Part IX-III

    Link to Part IX-IV

    Link to Part IX-V

    Link to Part IX-VI


    fi aman Allah
    w'salaam
    Last edited by *charisma*; 06-04-2006 at 03:23 AM.
    | Likes Periwinkle18, Abz2000, Scimitar, farhan, Anokha liked this post
    "Behind the Scenes" of IB

    D e a t h

    is the easiest
    of all things after it
    ; ;

    the hardest
    of all things before it

  2. #1081
    Yanal's Avatar
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    re: "Behind the Scenes" of IB

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    A conversation occuring with zAk and his newly acquired apprentice.

    zAk JR: Hey zAk,like my name?

    zAk: Ermm, whos this?

    zAk JR: Guess who? I'll give you a hint,my previous username started with a Y and ended with a L.

    zAk hears a thud,seeing Woodrow on the ground.

    zAk JR: Why'd he fall this time?

    zAk lifts brother Woodrow onto a bed and tucks him in.*muttering to himself* Allaah Akbar*

    zAk JR: So can I be your apprentice?

    zAk:

    zAk JR: I take this as a yes.

    zAk: Not again..

    zAk JR: Not again what?

    zAk: Nevermind,if I say yes will you stop bickering about?

    zAk JRs eyes shines and nods.

    zAk: Very well. First thing is,get me a cup of chai.

    zAk JR: Okay*runs out of the room*

    zAk speaks to himself; What have I done to get stuck with him?

    zAk JR runs in and slips,spilling hot chai on zAk.

    zAk: They don't pay me enough,first Rashad now you..You meddling teenagers*sighs*
    Yahya better be influenced by those two.*he thinks to himself*.

    ---------

    To be continued,insha'Allaah: This script is not meant to offend anyone.

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  4. #1082
    Muezzin's Avatar
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    re: "Behind the Scenes" of IB


  5. #1083
    Yanal's Avatar
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    re: "Behind the Scenes" of IB

    Quote Originally Posted by Muezzin View Post


    Haha,jazakAllaah khayr brother Muezzin for that comical yet entertaining video.

  6. #1084
    'Abd Al-Maajid's Avatar
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    re: "Behind the Scenes" of IB

    Quote Originally Posted by Muezzin View Post
    Yikes! that's Rashad's report card, tore up his report card!

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  8. #1085
    Yanal's Avatar
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    re: "Behind the Scenes" of IB

    Quote Originally Posted by abdulmājid View Post


    Yikes! that's Rashad's report card, tore up his report card!


    I thought it was mine..

  9. #1086
    Periwinkle18's Avatar
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    re: "Behind the Scenes" of IB

    i miss dis thread
    "Behind the Scenes" of IB

    Allah made everyone different thats what makes them special,so no matter what ppl say just remember you're SPECIAL!!
    "You are with the one you love"
    Nem0





  10. #1087
    Tilmeez's Avatar
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    re: "Behind the Scenes" of IB

    A few days back Tilmeez was given responsibilities at the gates of LI. It was Admin Woodrow who recognized his abilities to scrutinize and hunt trolls. (There was another hidden reason for that which only Admin Woodrow knew: Tilmeez was asked to use a specially designed laser gun that would cook all the trolls he hunted and feed Admin Woodrow's horse - Blacky. )

    Tilmeez is scanning all the new users through the human detector.
    A robot also comes along and stands behind a user.

    Tilmeez: What's your name?
    New User: Mouse.
    Tilmeez: What's my name?
    Mouse: (looks at his badge) SM Tilmeez.
    Tilmeez: It's just Tilmeez. SM stands for Super Mod. ... Can you multiply 2 x 2?
    Mouse: Yes. 2 x 2 = 4.
    Tilmeez: ** Sends this answer to Woodrow. He calculates it on his old scientific calculator and sends in OK signal to Tilmeez.
    Tilmeez: (Opens the gate) to Islamic Board. Hope you enjoy your stay with us. Be careful Mouse, Woodrow has adapted a cat recently and it keeps wandering around

    *** Murmurs to himself: Ya Allah have all the humans out there finished that you sent a mouse here for membership?

    Mouse: Thanks bro. I will take care of that

    Mouse enters the IslamicBoard. A dozen members rush forward to welcome him.

    Now it's the robot's turn.

    Tilmeez: Show your ID.
    robot: ***Shows his ID. It says:
    Google Spider.
    Mozilla/5.0 (compatible; Googlebot/2.1; +http://www.google.com/bot.html)
    Tilmeez: ***Mumers: Spider? First a mouse, and now a spider?
    Tilmeez: Type these two words:

    robot: ***Types: overlooks inquiry
    Tilmeez: *** What! he's so smart! Let me give him a tough question.
    Tilmeez: What do you get if you multiply 3 with seven and subtract the answer from twenty nine?
    robot: 21
    Tilmeez: Try again.
    robot: 3729
    Tilmeez: I am sorry, you will have to stand behind that line. ** Points to the banned users line **
    robot: ** Turns around and starts marching. Left right left right left ...


    Two days later Mouse was just enjoying looking here and there. He was just strolling accross the gate of Technical Support area when Woodrow's cat saw him and pounced on him. The Mouse ran to save his life and he ended up entering the LI Control Room.
    Rashad and Woodrow are sitting there.
    Rashad: Who allowed him here? It wasn't me, I swear.
    Woodrow takes his stick and tries to stop his cat. But the Mouse jumps on the Database rack. As Woodrow is about to move aside, the Database rack comes down with a huge crash, smashing its clear glass doors.
    Rashad panicks and locks the LI gates. They all try to contact their Technical Team, but no one responds.

    Nobody knew what happened next but the cat and the Mouse were nowhere to be seen. Woodrow noted, Blacky ate something so filling that it skipped its lunch :X

    After nearly 20 hours, the Technical Team is working on it, trying to fix all the mess. Rashad is covered in dust.


    zAk enters the Control Room and finds Woodrow, AabiruSabeel and Tilmeez discussing the previous days events.

    zAk: Assalam o Alaikum, How are you all. So what's the update? Has Rashad confessed? And any traces of that New User?
    Rashad: I am innocent.
    Woodrow: I'm sorry, gentlemen.
    AabiruSabeel: Why are you sorry? What have you done?
    Woodrow: I'm sorry, that Mouse and my cat mess the whole LI

    Woodrow: I told Rashad the whole situation and he plainly refused to help me out. I thought he will take the blame and things will be easier for us to explain

    Again all three shouted: WHAT?
    Tilmeez: Uncle Woodrow, did you switch your break fast with Blacky this morning? You mean it wasn't Rashad this time but the New User and your cat did this all?

    Woodrow:Calm Down nephew, I was just informed by my horse that SM Tilmeez has shot them both with 200 points of Laser infractions and Blacky ate them :X

    zAk and AabiruSabeel both look at Tilmeez and .....


    Disclaimer:
    Based on a True Story....
    All Characters in this episode of "Behind the Scenes of LI" LI have been changed and any resemblance will be just a coincident and Writer or Director are not responsible for that.
    "Behind the Scenes" of IB

    رَبَّنَا اغْفِرْ لَنَا وَلِإِخْوَانِنَا الَّذِينَ سَبَقُونَا بِالْإِيمَانِ وَلَا تَجْعَلْ فِي قُلُوبِنَا غِلًّا لِّلَّذِينَ آمَنُوا رَبَّنَا إِنَّكَ رَؤُوفٌ رَّحِيمٌ




  11. #1088
    Amoeba's Avatar
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    re: "Behind the Scenes" of IB

    Is this one of those off-topic threads where anything goes?

  12. #1089
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    re: "Behind the Scenes" of IB

    I did I totally don't get it. Looks like a bunch of random, incoherent spam.

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    'Abd Al-Maajid's Avatar
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    re: "Behind the Scenes" of IB

    Quote Originally Posted by Amoeba View Post
    I did I totally don't get it. Looks like a bunch of random, incoherent spam.
    What?! This is one of the humorous threads on the forum.

  15. #1091
    Alpha Dude's Avatar
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    re: "Behind the Scenes" of IB

    Quote Originally Posted by Amoeba View Post
    I did I totally don't get it. Looks like a bunch of random, incoherent spam.
    The thread isn't a free for all spam zone. The purpose is in the name: Behind the Scenes of LI.

    The OP wrote some scripts related to the behaviour of staff and most of them contain in-jokes/had a specific context (which at the time most members were aware of as the forum was still young). Perhaps this is why the thread appears incoherent to new readers.

    If you can't get your head around this thread, a word of advice - don't venture into the Muezzin and Minaz, Masters of might, magic and Monday Mornings one. Even I get confused by that lol.
    | Likes ~ Sabr ~ liked this post

  16. #1092
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    re: "Behind the Scenes" of IB

    Quote Originally Posted by View Post
    don't venture into the Muezzin and Minaz, Masters of might, magic and Monday Mornings one
    What?!

    I think that thread is GENIUS!

    such a shame Minaz is nowhere to be seen and heard, and Muezzin has been too infrequent in dishing out his "advice"

  17. #1093
    Periwinkle18's Avatar
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    re: "Behind the Scenes" of IB

    aww i missed this thread its been ages since i read it one ov my fav!!
    "Behind the Scenes" of IB

    Allah made everyone different thats what makes them special,so no matter what ppl say just remember you're SPECIAL!!
    "You are with the one you love"
    Nem0





  18. #1094
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    re: "Behind the Scenes" of IB

    Tilmeez is sitting in office at LI and Ramadhan enters.

    Ramadhan:Assalam o Alaikum,
    Tilmeez: Walaikum Assalam, how are you, akhee?
    Ramadhan:Akhee I'm not feeling good. I mean I have developed this bad habit.
    Tilmeez: Which bad habit?
    Ramadhan:I have noticed that whenever I stroll around I unintentionally smell members without getting their attention.
    Tilmeez: Ohh its nothing, akhee, it must be your misunderstanding try concentrating on your work. Tell me about your work and other activities. (After some time of discussion Ramadhan walks out of the office satisfied)

    The sooner Ramadhan leaves his office Tilmeez start typing a Top Secret email that reads:

    Dear Sir,

    Just had a short sitting with Moderator Ramadhan and my findings are that his Auto Troll Detect System that we fit into his left leg, during his training as a MOD, is not working properly. You are requested to kindly issue a new chip programed for said MOD. I suggest we should do periodic integrity check of other systems within this week.

    I will be ready for operation today at exactly 0000hrs Eastern time.

    Pls find attached log file and other details of the chip for your information.


    Regards,
    Tilmeez
    Incharge
    Auto Troll Detect System Monitoring.
    LI Control Room
    | Likes zAk, ~Raindrop~, جوري, Innocent Soul, Ramadhan liked this post
    "Behind the Scenes" of IB

    رَبَّنَا اغْفِرْ لَنَا وَلِإِخْوَانِنَا الَّذِينَ سَبَقُونَا بِالْإِيمَانِ وَلَا تَجْعَلْ فِي قُلُوبِنَا غِلًّا لِّلَّذِينَ آمَنُوا رَبَّنَا إِنَّكَ رَؤُوفٌ رَّحِيمٌ




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  20. #1095
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    Last edited by Muezzin; 01-15-2012 at 12:34 AM.
    | Likes zAk, Musaafirah liked this post
    "Behind the Scenes" of IB


  21. #1096
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    re: "Behind the Scenes" of IB

    My fav thread i missed it doesn't anyone post anything hea anymore??
    "Behind the Scenes" of IB

    Allah made everyone different thats what makes them special,so no matter what ppl say just remember you're SPECIAL!!
    "You are with the one you love"
    Nem0





  22. #1097
    Muezzin's Avatar
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    re: "Behind the Scenes" of IB

    Quote Originally Posted by Periwinkle18 View Post
    My fav thread i missed it doesn't anyone post anything hea anymore??
    Uh, there's a new post right above yours.

  23. #1098
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    re: "Behind the Scenes" of IB

    Quote Originally Posted by Muezzin View Post
    Meanwhile, Beardo confronts his mentor.
    It looks like Beardo confronting unc. Woodrow.
    :X
    "Behind the Scenes" of IB






  24. #1099
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    re: "Behind the Scenes" of IB

    Quote Originally Posted by Muezzin View Post
    Uh, there's a new post right above yours.
    lolz tht post wasnt there wen i posted i guess my post went up late...
    "Behind the Scenes" of IB

    Allah made everyone different thats what makes them special,so no matter what ppl say just remember you're SPECIAL!!
    "You are with the one you love"
    Nem0





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  26. #1100
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    re: "Behind the Scenes" of IB



    y isnt anyone posting anything
    | Likes Innocent Soul liked this post
    "Behind the Scenes" of IB

    Allah made everyone different thats what makes them special,so no matter what ppl say just remember you're SPECIAL!!
    "You are with the one you love"
    Nem0






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