Muezzin and Minaz: Masters of Might, Magic and Monday Mornings

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Originally Posted by Muezzin

Two words: Time Travel.

Seriously, I find I can never get to sleep if I think of bald midgets. Way too disturbing.

Conversely, if I think of staying awake, I fall asleep.

Oh, and alarm clocks rule.

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Time travelling, who would've thought... True about the alarm clocks but those snooze buttons don't help. Oh well, *off to invent a time travel machine*.

:sl:

LOL! i wrotes 'he has a reaally smell problem' and I missed the main word in da description! ..............he has a really BIG smell problem! .......but I guessed u figured that out by now hehe

there aint no muslim brothers in the work place to give him deodrant............plus hes not muslim himself - hes an old cockney hospital porter :p anways hows deodrant gonna combat pesky smell? hehe

oh i just remembered theres another guy at work with a really bad halitosis problem ..........i was gonna faint when I had to work around him for a whole day once..............Oh why oh why do i have to work wiv smelly people!?:heated:

people people cant u read the name of the title?
it only includes brother Muezzin and brother Minaz so please stop giving advice for u may misguide the person in need of help :p
i seriously deserve some reps for tht brother Muezzin and brother Minaz, im keeping ur thread safe and under control:aliencool

Salaam and/or Hollaz, whatever you crazy cats are saying now

How exactly did you get in trouble? If you don't want to tell us, then simply use Muezzin's Simple Trick for Everything: Go and beat up a tramp.

Not only is it sadistically funny, you're also helping the economy!

Okay well you see, I waz ummm...Well i waz getting mad cuz at 1st it was a very sucky eid(and all da lil kidz was running around blowing them lil thingies, so I politely went to their mothers and was like can yall get(YALL DUMB KIDZ) but B4 that I was mad, 4 what dunno(oh yea I remember) The boyz alwayz have moe fun den us and this time we rented a buildin(and it was right across the street from the Musallah(however u spell it) and of course we couldnt go across the strett cuz it would be like we was mixing(So I was ****** the:rant:off) So yep ma mom was like com'on we need to talk(and yep I got hollard at pretty bad) She was like your an embarrassment to this family......So yea thats it.

loooool I thought about betting up a tramp(hell I thought about betting up every1)

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Originally Posted by Muezzin

Once I was sighing too much because I had a chest infection. I went to the doctor, said 'Yo doc, wassup wit me?' and he hooked me up with one o' these babies:

https://www.islamicboard.com/

Moin's Chemist - I salute you.


Screw other forums! If anyone has a problem with the way Allah made you, that's their problem not yours.

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Ummm...funny, not I really need 1 of those...........But ya'll iz crazy, literally(Yo' doc) I think you've been watching bugs bunny 2 much!!!

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Originally Posted by Gandalf

people people cant u read the name of the title?
it only includes brother Muezzin and brother Minaz so please stop giving advice for u may misguide the person in need of help :p
i seriously deserve some reps for tht brother Muezzin and brother Minaz, im keeping ur thread safe and under control:aliencool

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:giggling: :giggling:

lol this is a crazzzzzzy thread

Holy moley this thread has grown overnight!

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Originally Posted by Muslimah81

Ok lets see u solve this.......................

A work colleague has a reaaally smell problem right?..............he walks into da room and within seconds theres pesky smell pervading every nook and cranny. Some peoples are like :angry2: , some like::phew some really :mad:
Hes a nice guy, polite and quiet but man the smell is soooo bad! What do you do? tell him and permanantly traumatise da guy or suffer in silence?:angry2:

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Buy a can of deodorant and a can of Mace. Tell him if he doesn't wear the deodorant, his eyes will be wearing the Mace.

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Originally Posted by baby_muslimah15

Okay well you see, I waz ummm...Well i waz getting mad cuz at 1st it was a very sucky eid(and all da lil kidz was running around blowing them lil thingies, so I politely went to their mothers and was like can yall get(YALL DUMB KIDZ) but B4 that I was mad, 4 what dunno(oh yea I remember) The boyz alwayz have moe fun den us and this time we rented a buildin(and it was right across the street from the Musallah(however u spell it) and of course we couldnt go across the strett cuz it would be like we was mixing(So I was pissed theoff) So yep ma mom was like com'on we need to talk(and yep I got hollard at pretty bad) She was like your an embarrassment to this family......So yea thats it.

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Squeeze this until the rage departs.

If you're still angry, go and beat up another tramp.

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Originally Posted by Proud ukht

:giggling: :giggling:

lol this is a crazzzzzzy thread

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The crazier, the better! :p

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Originally Posted by Brother_Mujahid

nice fan club you two got 'ere

*personally you two jokers suck*

:happy:

errr yah im dead serious

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And that is why I love you bro.

:p :giggling: ok ok............i guess i came in to da right place

well let me tell u almost evernight when im ready to sleep some retarded neighbors that live on top of us start restling above us...its sooo annoying cause there all guys up there n its sooo complicated to put my daughter back to sleep!! we're just about to close our eyes n then u hear THump n Bump n then my cabinets r flyin open n the walls start shaken nmy dughter starts cryin n i feel like going urstairs n to there door n :grumbling ...lol
u know what i mean?......its like a indoor earth quake...lol
sometimes i think man this time im gonna bang on their ceiling..:Evil:
oh so plzzz tell me Dr.Muizzen n Dr. Minaz what shall i do?:? ASAP

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Originally Posted by Muezzin

And that is why I love you bro.

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hahaha.......i swear u am ace!!!!
keep it up bro!! u am always puttin a smile on my face....
thnk u :)

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Originally Posted by ishkabab

:p :giggling: ok ok............i guess i came in to da right place

well let me tell u almost evernight when im ready to sleep some retarded neighbors that live on top of us start restling above us...its sooo annoying cause there all guys up there n its sooo complicated to put my daughter back to sleep!! we're just about to close our eyes n then u hear THump n Bump n then my cabinets r flyin open n the walls start shaken nmy dughter starts cryin n i feel like going urstairs n to there door n :grumbling ...lol
u know what i mean?......its like a indoor earth quake...lol
sometimes i think man this time im gonna bang on their ceiling..:Evil:
oh so plzzz tell me Dr.Muizzen n Dr. Minaz what shall i do?:? ASAP

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First try the 'softly softly' approach. Go upstairs and nicely ask them to stop wrestling because you can't sleep.

If they don't listen...

Next time they make a loud thump, make a puddle of a little watered-down ketchup on the ground, jump and land very loudly, and scream at the top of your lungs. Then lie down with your head on the ketchup, screaming, holding a power drill in one hand. With any luck, they'll come running down, see you with your head apparently cracked open and blood seeping from your hair, and then you will shout:

'ARGH! You're too loud! Had to drill it out! HAD TO STOP THE NOISE!' At this point, turn the power drill on to drive home your point. Also maybe smear some of the drill bit with a little bit of ketchup for maximum gore.

Hopefully, this will scare the living crap out of them, traumatise them for life, and they will never, ever, bother you again. :)

i tried that once wen i was lil
my mum didnt think it was impressive neither was she traumatised
i think it was cuz the ketchup stain took ages to come out :-\

so why is it like today wen my younger brother cums in with fake blood from the joke shop pouring from the side of his face ...my mum scream the house down before realising its not real

am i not precious to her like her boys
does she not love me equally
:enough!: tell me m&m's
IS IT BECAUSE I'M A GIRL....................

Thanks bro Muezzin!!! Umm, one question(where is Doc Minaz??) is he on a business trip or sumthin(and 4 the tramp thingie) Its just not working anymore, I need sumthin else......Hollaz

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Originally Posted by muslimahimprovin

i tried that once wen i was lil
my mum didnt think it was impressive neither was she traumatised
i think it was cuz the ketchup stain took ages to come out :-\

so why is it like today wen my younger brother cums in with fake blood from the joke shop pouring from the side of his face ...my mum scream the house down before realising its not real

am i not precious to her like her boys
does she not love me equally
:enough!: tell me m&m's
IS IT BECAUSE I'M A GIRL....................

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There's no easy answer to this so I'll just say it: Yes. It is. Don't worry though. I'm sure your mother loves you a very great deal. That, and ketchup just isn't as convicing as fake blood from the joke shop. ;)

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Originally Posted by baby_muslimah15

Thanks bro Muezzin!!! Umm, one question(where is Doc Minaz??) is he on a business trip or sumthin

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Probably.

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(and 4 the tramp thingie) Its just not working anymore, I need sumthin else......Hollaz

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Well you could always go to ponds where little old ladies are feeding the ducks... and jump in screaming 'I love you Donald!' It might dissipate the stress a bit.

Then again, you might get arrested.

If I get arrested(your goin down wit me)loool, But jumping in the pond sounds kind kool(imma give that a thought and a try)

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Umm, one question(where is Doc Minaz??) is he on a business trip or sumthin

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Lol sorry guys not been home for last 2 days, p.s. rumours that i was kicked out because of that 15 year old pregnant girl aren't true. Anywho this thread has grown enormously, lol reminds me of the film "Evolution" - ("ice queen" :p).

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Posted by Halima
ermmm...minaz?..LOOL It's called an albuterol inhaler

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Ermmm Muezzin posted that, can't you tell he's the fatter one out of us two! and his aesthma is not a result of him smoking

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posted bydesert roze
Salam,Alright, since you are the masters of monday mornings, try n help me out with this one. During the weekends, I usually stay up late studying at night cause I often have exams on Mondays. What do I do to keep awake at night but still be able to wake up early in morning? P.S. coffee doesn't work for me for some reason.

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Take up smoking

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posted bymuslimah81
Ok lets see u solve this.......................
A work colleague has a reaaally smell problem right?..............he walks into da room and within seconds theres pesky smell pervading every nook and cranny. Some peoples are like , some like: some really
Hes a nice guy, polite and quiet but man the smell is soooo bad! What do you do? tell him and permanantly traumatise da guy or suffer in silence?

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He needs to disguise the smell, tell him to take up smoking

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posted by gandalf
i seriously deserve some reps for tht brother Muezzin and brother Minaz, im keeping ur thread safe and under control

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I'll give you a couple of fags if ya want?

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posted by baby_muslimah15
So yep ma mom was like com'on we need to talk(and yep I got hollard at pretty bad) She was like your an embarrassment to this family

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Think of that as a posotive, now your an "embarrassment" you might aswell exploit that by taking up smoking

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posted by ishkabab
well let me tell u almost evernight when im ready to sleep some retarded neighbors that live on top of us start restling above us...its sooo annoying cause there all guys up there n its sooo complicated to put my daughter back to sleep!! we're just about to close our eyes n then u hear THump n Bump n then my cabinets r flyin open n the walls start shaken nmy dughter starts cryin

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your child seems stressed because of these neighbours from hell, and we all now what relieves you from stress - have a smoke

Also rumours that I have taken shares in Marlboro are false

Lol!!!! Hahahahahahahaha......
Swear Man.........u 2 Shud Be On Stage!!!! ;)

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Originally Posted by minaz

Ermmm Muezzin posted that, can't you tell he's the fatter one out of us two! and his aesthma is not a result of him smoking

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Do you always get bullied upon?