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  1. #21
    Eye Of The Tornado Simple_Person's Avatar
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    Re: I'm Converting to Islam!


    Quote Originally Posted by PhoenixBird View Post
    You must understand that I have no interest in having an intimate relationship with anyone here, even my boyfriend. I'm also not obligated to. I'm also not about to move back in with my parents, who have their own issues. I can still obey my parents from a distance. Obeying parents does not necessarily mean living with them.
    I agree, obeying your parents can be from anywhere. However why i said what i said is how i saw your situation is right now either going back to your parents living with them and in the mean time change your necessary skills or situation to be able to sustain yourself by living on your own IF EVEN AS A Muslim did not worked out with them and you under one roof. The second situation living with a person that is not your husband and having any intimate contact with him even kissing and holding hands so to say.

    The other thing that i also have kept in mind when saying this and you said it yourself, "having no interest in intimate relationship with anyone here, even my boyfriend", but yet taking financial advantage from him is also not the Islamic way if you understand what i try to say. Because your intention is clearly being messed up as you take financial advantage in mind but really don't even seeing him as a person you love or anything in that direction. Rather it looks like MAYBE ONE of your primary intention is he gives you a more comfortable life. Not judging you, but this action being me who did this to a woman or even my own sister so to say, that is just messed up. In Islam actions are judged by intention, so do think about it.

    Again don't think i am trying to make it hard on you, but this is just the reality as it is and Islam doesn't bend it's rulings so people are rather comfortable with them. There are cases that Islam is flexible with them but no cases of forbidden/permissible for example a man came to prophet Muhammad (pbuh) and he said that he wanted to do 2 units in the noon prayer instead of 4. Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) said oke you are allowed. The companions were shocked and asked prophet Muhammad(pbuh) why? He replied when he has tasted imaan (faith) in his heart he will do the rest of the units also. So rather it is WE that must bend our ways to meet the Islamic way of living and thinking on things that are strict in cases when it is clear what is forbidden and what not. Do think about it, as when you enter Islam and you are aware of certain prohibition this might end up on your plate of sins so i am not trying to attack you, rather warn you about it. Satan rather is making it as if i am being "too harsh" and "too strict". I will not benefit or be punished for your sins and you will not be punished for my sins, i will not benefit from the good deeds you do or you benefit from the good deeds i do.

    Rather as a piece of advice as satan the moment you embrace Islam, he tries to either make you extreme in Islam one way or the other. Some people go all strict and make the religion of Islam as if it is a prison with strict no laughing policy so to say while there are other that twist things in such a way that hijab is not needed or if even they cover their hair, they are wearing tight pants or in the case of guys the same now a days wearing tight pants and seeking attention of women and such. When you say something about their behavior those brothers say bro i have not done any sins..i am just talking. Islam is rather the middle path with clear borders to not cross (stealing when not in need of food, having intimate relationship with a person you are not married, drinking alcohol, lying, hypocrisy, envy, worship of others than Allah..etc. etc. etc. )

    If you do not feel anything from the advice that i try to give you, than act as if i have not said anything.
    I'm Converting to Islam!

    "....Indeed, Allah will not change the condition of a people until they change what is in themselves...." Qur'an 13:11

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  3. #22
    Limited Member PhoenixBird's Avatar
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    Re: I'm Converting to Islam!


    I'm NOT a hypocrite. He invited me here of his own will. My parents support me, and I provide food. I just live under his roof. Not taking advantage at all. No need to accuse me of such, when you don't understand the situation.

  4. #23
    Eye Of The Tornado Simple_Person's Avatar
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    Re: I'm Converting to Islam!


    Quote Originally Posted by PhoenixBird View Post
    I'm NOT a hypocrite. He invited me here of his own will. My parents support me, and I provide food. I just live under his roof. Not taking advantage at all. No need to accuse me of such, when you don't understand the situation.
    I have not accused you of being a hypocrite, as i do not know what is in your heart and you do not know what is in my heart. The only information you have given is having a boyfriend and not financially standing on your own feet. We as humans beings judge by what is given to us as information. Right now you give a totally different picture of your parents supporting you and he not really financially supporting you. In other words you can stand on your feet just fine so to say without living with your boyfriend. Or have i understood it wrong yet again?

    Could you answer this to me please. Can you manage with the financial support your parents give you, to find your own place and leave this boyfriend of yours? If yes, nothing more needs to be said. If no, think about your situation. So again, don't get all worked up, i mean no hostility towards you, just making things clear what you will be facing so to say.
    I'm Converting to Islam!

    "....Indeed, Allah will not change the condition of a people until they change what is in themselves...." Qur'an 13:11

  5. #24
    Limited Member BintMuhammad's Avatar
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    Re: I'm Converting to Islam!


    Quote Originally Posted by Simple_Person View Post
    I have not accused you of being a hypocrite, as i do not know what is in your heart and you do not know what is in my heart. The only information you have given is having a boyfriend and not financially standing on your own feet. We as humans beings judge by what is given to us as information. Right now you give a totally different picture of your parents supporting you and he not really financially supporting you. In other words you can stand on your feet just fine so to say without living with your boyfriend. Or have i understood it wrong yet again?

    Could you answer this to me please. Can you manage with the financial support your parents give you, to find your own place and leave this boyfriend of yours? If yes, nothing more needs to be said. If no, think about your situation. So again, don't get all worked up, i mean no hostility towards you, just making things clear what you will be facing so to say.
    She hasnt even declared her shahada? You need to take it easy.

  6. #25
    Limited Member BintMuhammad's Avatar
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    Re: I'm Converting to Islam!


    Quote Originally Posted by PhoenixBird View Post
    Hello!

    I'm a 27 year-old, Jewish-born woman, born to non-religious Jewish parents, who is dating a non-religious Christian man. When I was 18, I began exploring different religions, since I never felt connected to Judaism. I started with Christianity, and for a while I attended an Episcopalian church. I enjoyed church and found worship calming. However, something didn't feel entirely true about Christianity. Fast-forward nine years, to nearly the present, and by this time I was no longer regularly attending church. I had nowhere to go for religion. I wasn't part of any religion, and couldn't decide where I belonged. I liked Monotheistic religion, but neither Judaism nor Christianity seemed entirely correct. This past winter I had a revelation! I felt a call from Allah to Islam. At first I ignored it. The idea of being Muslim made me uncomfortable at first, with all the current discrimination in the United States, where I live. I didn't want to face any of that. However, the feelings were nagging! Finally I heeded Allah's call to Islam, and began to research the faith...and everything makes so much sense to me! The Bible and Torah were translated over and over again, leading to the messages not being entirely correct. The Quran is the only non-corrupt book. Even the scientific discoveries we hear about, regarding religion, are consistent with Muhammad and his teachings.

    I do know that converting to Islam will be difficult. I was never raised with Kosher restrictions, so keeping Halal will not be easy for me, but I'm working on it. I also do have past tattoos and a few piercings. I've been trying to repent, but that's also difficult since I admit I like my body art. I know Allah doesn't like it, though. I also have concerns about my current romantic relationship. I know my boyfriend will not want to be Muslim, nor will he want to raise future children as Muslim. On the other hand, I don't want to leave him. My only hope is to raise our children (when we decide to have them, or rather adopt, since I'm not fertile) with two religions. I'm also worried about wearing a Hijab just yet. Given the discrimination in this country, and my parents, who scold me if I so much as talk about wearing a Hijab in public.

    Nevertheless, I'm determined to find a Mosque near me! I want to proceed with Islam as my religion!

    I hope to find people here, who will support me on my journey, and make new friends!
    May Allah guide you and make your path easy, ameen

  7. #26
    Eye Of The Tornado Simple_Person's Avatar
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    Re: I'm Converting to Islam!


    Quote Originally Posted by BintMuhammad View Post
    She hasnt even declared her shahada? You need to take it easy.
    If you read my first comment i already have said, take it very easy and step by step. However in case of especially of mixing with other gender in the sense of having extramarital relationships this needs to be cleared. Do not sweeten this deed especially as if it is take your time so to say. This is gonna be the MOST hardest of them all if you ask me.

    My advice in general would rather be for her to notice her boyfriend of this matter and who knows maybe he himself deep inside has been wanting to convert or something in that sense. She then could stay with him and be married to one another ..you get me? But becoming a Muslim and staying with him is rather a very big risk, as there is a reason why Muslim women may not marry a non-Muslim man. It could very well be because of him she in the end abandons Islam as soon as she had embraced it. You get what i am trying to say?
    I'm Converting to Islam!

    "....Indeed, Allah will not change the condition of a people until they change what is in themselves...." Qur'an 13:11

  8. #27
    Subhan Allah Sakina'17's Avatar
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    Re: I'm Converting to Islam!


    Quote Originally Posted by PhoenixBird View Post
    Thank you all for the welcomes!

    I agree that the conflicts with my boyfriend may make things more difficult, especially since he is not Muslim. The issue is I rely on him for a lot right now. I'm not very good at supporting myself financially, and that makes living on my own impossible right now. I need to stay at his place for now, so I have a home. I can't live with my parents, because they frown upon Islam, and make fun of me for talking about wearing a Hijab.

    I've studied a lot over the past months, and I really want to say the Shahada now, but there aren't many nearby Mosques...When I do say the Shahada, I will wear Hijab, but only in safe places.



    Congratulations on seeking the truth! Welcome to the forum and Islam & truth! May Allah swt keep you strong in Iman and keep you steadfast in religion, Ameen.

    Although there is a lot to learn and develop as a muslim (born muslim & converts), remember Iman is the most important aspect and you do not need to think that you have to start wearing hijab from the moment you say the shahada.

    Belief in Allah and the last Prophet pbuh is the most important first step and the rest will follow...you can start by learning how to pray and the 5 pillars of Islam and you can learn and develop further from there at your own pace. The major things that muslims have to think about on daily basis are avoiding haram (alcohol, pork/haram food, haram relationships) and dressing (& behaving) modestly (long sleeves, loose shirt covering chest and loose trousers covering back, if you are ready then covering hair) and of course establishing prayers (there are 5 daily prayers) on time is the most important thing in our mind.

    Please do not think that you have to start wearing hijab from the moment you become muslim when you feel not ready to wear hijab. You can dress modestly regardless when you have converted. I can understand decision to wear hijab publically isn't an easy decision especially for convert with unsupportive family but you don't need to delay saying the shahada and converting to Islam waiting to make that decision (wearing hijab publically) because you may be pondering over it for weeks and you do not want to delay saying shahada for too long. However, you do need to cover your head to pray and read Quran.

    Please feel free to ask us any questions you have about prayers or anything. May Allah swt make everything easy for you and put right all your affairs, Ameen.
    Last edited by Sakina'17; 6 Days Ago at 01:21 PM.
    I'm Converting to Islam!


 

 
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