I felt empty devoid of meaning logic and reason. Every day I drowned myself in a bottle. I believed in god yet no matter what path I took to reach him he never answered me. I remember some nights I prayed in Latin to god to remove my sorrow that drowned my heart. Then in Hebrew. Then in silence. No matter how hard I prayed he never seemed to listen.
Then today this very day... I recited my proclaiment of faith and I felt freed.
I knew not what in entailed.
I just wanted to be no longer in pain and sober. I used to believe Jesus loved me
Yet no matter how hard I prayed to him all I got was silence and that never ending void and the need to drown myself more..
I was baptized Catholic. My mother is strongly so still. I can recall the saints by heart yet none one seemed to intercede on my behalf. To cure my pain.
Yet when I called god by his name Allah.. The one..then he seemed to remove the stone from heart.
Sorry to hear of the pains you've been going through. I hope you find some reconciliation and answers through your journey here. Let us know how we can be of some help and feel free to ask any questions.
Sorry to hear of the pains you've been going through. I hope you find some reconciliation and answers through your journey here. Let us know how we can be of some help and feel free to ask any questions.
All I can I say it's sucks to be an alcoholic. I havent gone full islam yet. But I guess I feel more at peace now I converted. I figured it wouldn't be hard at all I want alcohol to be gone from my life for good. Plus I never liked pork or bacon anyway. I used to be compelled to eat it when I was young because of being poor. With all other religions I've tried I just felt so empty and hallow. I remember today I felt something today. Peace in my heart.
Maybe Allah wanted me to choose this path all along. Although alas I may have to wait until my mother passes to fully engage in Islam.
I felt empty devoid of meaning logic and reason. Every day I drowned myself in a bottle. I believed in god yet no matter what path I took to reach him he never answered me. I remember some nights I prayed in Latin to god to remove my sorrow that drowned my heart. Then in Hebrew. Then in silence. No matter how hard I prayed he never seemed to listen.
Then today this very day... I recited my proclaiment of faith and I felt freed.
I knew not what in entailed.
I just wanted to be no longer in pain and sober. I used to believe Jesus loved me
Yet no matter how hard I prayed to him all I got was silence and that never ending void and the need to drown myself more..
I was baptized Catholic. My mother is strongly so still. I can recall the saints by heart yet none one seemed to intercede on my behalf. To cure my pain.
Yet when I called god by his name Allah.. The one..then he seemed to remove the stone from heart.
I'm sorry this is too much..
Al salam 'alikom
What an amazing story indeed allah is the most merciful welcome to islam sister/brother i hope you find a loving community here and i hope people here can answer all your questions most of us or atleast myself are not scholars we are people who want to help but i hope i and this community can help you
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