Noob Girl

format_quote Originally Posted by Mandy

Welcome to the forum. I know you will find good advice here and I hope they will help you.

Do not despair as your duas will be answered. But they are not always answered in the way you expect them to be or at the time you expect them to be. Be patient and one day you will see that everything will work out. I know it is not what you want to hear, especially at 14, but such is life.

You repeated many times you feel unfortunate to be a girl. Do not be. As you mention, you are indeed blessed with the ability to create life. But there is so much more to being female than that. Keep in mind that if Allah decided to make you female, it means it is what was best for you. Do not worry, as time passes you will understand more and more.

Thank you. I do hope for the best, because I just do not even know what to do anymore.

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I will try to hold on to hope. I guess I should learn that, first.

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format_quote Originally Posted by SintoDinto

one important thing to remember about prayers, sister, is that they don't always get accepted, but they always get answered. Allah may replace it with something better, he may postpone it for a later time, or he may reject it because of the pain the thing you are praying for may cause. also, i am 19, going on 20, and i suffer from many mental health issues as a result of lifelong trauma and family turmoil, much of which or all of which i can not mention on this site, some of which for legal reasons, despite the fact i am not at risk for arrest. i was suicidal for years, and the very thing that led me away from religion, which you seem to be describing, (the opposite sex and religious restrictions) came back to cause a ripple effect of trauma culminating in a tragedy that actually led me to turn to Allah when I needed him most, and I was saved. I am currently dealing with hormones at my age (not saying what you have is just that, believe me, I've been there, it is NOT fun when you want to be with the member of the opposite sex of your dreams and you get shamed for a glance or being in the same room, but I'm just making a statement that is relevant). My puberty appears to be extended, or I may be in the final era. Just wait until youth kicks in. I didn't get a single childhood kiss. That's not even haram! (before puberty) and i actually liked someone. i didn't get a single adolescent kiss or "I love you" from a sweetheart as a kid or teen and im OK with that.
but the important thing is first recognizing the value of knowledge of Allah that connection with your creator who created everything and controls everything, though you may not see it, then seeking that knowledge. Read the story of musa (as) and al khidr (as) in chapter 18 in the quran titled al kahf (the cave), and youll see what i mean by "though you may not see it." It's in the middle. the chapter is 110 verses long.
the point is i understand youre going through a rough time. we all go through it. some of us more than others.

Thank you for the reply and encouragement. I understand what you are trying to say, and I am sorry about what you are going and went through. May Allah ease your troubles. I was suicidal too and even resorted to self-harm. I expected compassion from my mother (I did not tell my father because he is super religious and scary), but instead I got a lecture from her (an anger-fueled one) that made me just want to kill myself even more -- but I can not do that because I am a weakling.

As for the crush part, let me just say this: my crush is literally a year younger than you. So I cannot even admit my feelings, because imagine how awkward it would be for an 18-year-old (going to turn 19) to be confronted by some 14-year-old girl about how she has a major crush on him -- I think you can imagine the awkwardness of the situation. I know 4 years is not a big age difference, but it is an awkward age difference at this stage in life.

Thank you for citing specific stories from the Qur'an. I will go read them insha'Allah.

format_quote Originally Posted by crimsontide06

I think a good speaker for you to listen to is Yasmin Mogahed.

Start with this one: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GDBdOmBSCK8

https://www.youtube.com/user/YasminMogahedOnline/videos

She has a book too; Reclaim Your Heart.

Thank you. Will look into it, insha'Allah.

format_quote Originally Posted by bint e aisha

@Pink_Uniqueorn

Assalamu alaikum dear young sister,

I've read your post in the other thread and you have not done anything horrible. MashaAllah you've spent 14 years like a good Muslim and inshaAllah will spend the rest of your life according to Qur'an and Sunnah. You're a good soul mashaAllah, at least better than me. May Allah bless you.

I'm really sorry to hear about your parents feelings at your birth and can understand the emotional trauma you've gone through. May Allah ta'ala grant you the strength to deal with these situations and may He always be on your side. Ameen

Wassalam

*****


@Eric H
May Allah ta'ala increase you in wisdom and shower you with His blessings, mercy and love.

. Thank you for the reply and kind words. I do not have anything against Islam (or any other religion for that matter, because God decides who he favors and who he does not). I do hope Allah's guidance stays with me and everyone forever.

To All:

Your outpouring of kindness and support for this young lady (in this thread and the other in the Advice section) is truly inspiring - especially you loving, caring, intelligent Muslim women who have taken the time to provide thoughtful advice with a gentle hand. You remind me how grateful I am to have such a wonderful woman in my own life, my mother. Without her I would have been lost.

To You, Little Unicorn:

I have no advice that could supercede the thoughtful feedback of your Sisters. I am not qualified, and it would be inappropriate. Instead, allow me to share some observations based on what you've written here.

Your mind is strong. Your writing style, word choices, and depth of expression reveal an above-average intelligence. You will be smarter than most of the people you meet in your life, men and women alike. This will not contribute to your popularity. Intelligent women are intimidating to some - and the more intelligent they are, the more intimidating they appear. This is a fact of life for we humble humans.

Your heart is strong. You experience emotions deeply, and the whirling of your thoughts attempting to analyze your feelings is part of what drove you here. This intensity of emotion is a double-edged sword, allowing for extremes of joy and sorrow. Thankfully, you have a worldwide community full of brilliant Sisters who can help guide you in your struggles, perhaps even focus that intensity towards some positive end.

You are not alone. You are unique, but your experiences are shared by many. I am very happy to see that you've reached out to this community. Many of your older Sisters have been through some of the same things, and you can see by their words that they have grown into strong women. Take heart.

Sincerely,

--Dan Edge

format_quote Originally Posted by Eric H

Greetings and peace be with you Pink_Uniqueorn;

Clearly your dad likes females, he married one, and presumably he wants your brother to marry a woman and not a man. I am very pleased there are women in this world, having been married for a few years, and I would not have it any other way. However, as I have often said on this forum, the first twenty five years of marriage are the hardest, then it just gets harder.

When you have a crush on someone, your mind makes them into everything you want them to be, they are your dream relationship. Even if you ended up marrying this lad, he would not end up being the dream person as you imagine. Staying married has to be one of the toughest things we do in life, the reality is so much more challenging than the crush.

The best description of marriage that I have heard is this.....

An imperfect man, marrying an imperfect woman, having imperfect children and living in an imperfect world. It takes a huge amount of work to make all this imperfection work. It can be done with the help of Allah.

Blessings,
Eric

Thanks a lot for your reply. To be honest, I am having trouble interpreting your message, but I guess I will understand once I am older and maturer. After all, elders are mostly wise.

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format_quote Originally Posted by DanEdge

To All:

Your outpouring of kindness and support for this young lady (in this thread and the other in the Advice section) is truly inspiring - especially you loving, caring, intelligent Muslim women who have taken the time to provide thoughtful advice with a gentle hand. You remind me how grateful I am to have such a wonderful woman in my own life, my mother. Without her I would have been lost.

To You, Little Unicorn:

I have no advice that could supercede the thoughtful feedback of your Sisters. I am not qualified, and it would be inappropriate. Instead, allow me to share some observations based on what you've written here.

Your mind is strong. Your writing style, word choices, and depth of expression reveal an above-average intelligence. You will be smarter than most of the people you meet in your life, men and women alike. This will not contribute to your popularity. Intelligent women are intimidating to some - and the more intelligent they are, the more intimidating they appear. This is a fact of life for we humble humans.

Your heart is strong. You experience emotions deeply, and the whirling of your thoughts attempting to analyze your feelings is part of what drove you here. This intensity of emotion is a double-edged sword, allowing for extremes of joy and sorrow. Thankfully, you have a worldwide community full of brilliant Sisters who can help guide you in your struggles, perhaps even focus that intensity towards some positive end.

You are not alone. You are unique, but your experiences are shared by many. I am very happy to see that you've reached out to this community. Many of your older Sisters have been through some of the same things, and you can see by their words that they have grown into strong women. Take heart.

Sincerely,

--Dan Edge

Wow, thank you so much for that insightful reply. I am really flattered! But I do not know if my heart is strong and if I am really as intelligent as you think. I mean, I can score A's at school (sorry if it sounds like I am boasting; it is just for the comparison), but I make dumb mistakes all the time, and my emotions are really sensitive. That is the reason I ended up here.

Also, just to be clear, I appreciate your advice and would welcome it as much as I welcomed anyone else's help here.

format_quote Originally Posted by DanEdge

To All:

Your outpouring of kindness and support for this young lady (in this thread and the other in the Advice section) is truly inspiring - especially you loving, caring, intelligent Muslim women who have taken the time to provide thoughtful advice with a gentle hand. You remind me how grateful I am to have such a wonderful woman in my own life, my mother. Without her I would have been lost.

To You, Little Unicorn:

I have no advice that could supercede the thoughtful feedback of your Sisters. I am not qualified, and it would be inappropriate. Instead, allow me to share some observations based on what you've written here.

Your mind is strong. Your writing style, word choices, and depth of expression reveal an above-average intelligence. You will be smarter than most of the people you meet in your life, men and women alike. This will not contribute to your popularity. Intelligent women are intimidating to some - and the more intelligent they are, the more intimidating they appear. This is a fact of life for we humble humans.

Your heart is strong. You experience emotions deeply, and the whirling of your thoughts attempting to analyze your feelings is part of what drove you here. This intensity of emotion is a double-edged sword, allowing for extremes of joy and sorrow. Thankfully, you have a worldwide community full of brilliant Sisters who can help guide you in your struggles, perhaps even focus that intensity towards some positive end.

You are not alone. You are unique, but your experiences are shared by many. I am very happy to see that you've reached out to this community. Many of your older Sisters have been through some of the same things, and you can see by their words that they have grown into strong women. Take heart.

Sincerely,

--Dan Edge

Wow, thank you so much for that insightful reply. I am really flattered! But I do not know if my heart is strong and if I am really as intelligent as you think. I mean, I can score A's at school (sorry if it sounds like I am boasting; it is just for the comparison), but I make dumb mistakes all the time, and my emotions are really sensitive. That is the reason I ended up here.

Also, just to be clear, I appreciate your advice and would welcome it as much as I welcomed anyone else's help here.

I make dumb mistakes all the time, and my emotions are really sensitive. [/QUOTE]
Being emotional and sensitive is normal. You are a growing young woman and you will discover many emotions you had never before experience (wow, now I feel old saying this!).
Those feeling do not make you dumb. They make you human. You simply need time to get used to them

Boy, I hope that nobody out there is judging me for all the dumb mistakes I make all the time, and I'm 40 years old! I can be quite a sensitive Little Snowflake sometimes, too. While it is true that biological impulses can make teenage years more difficult, what many of us learn as adults is not to never make dumb mistakes, but that it is okay to make dumb mistakes. Unless you are a Prophet of some kind, you are going to be just a regular human, and humans make dumb mistakes all the time. Even clever ones.

Greetings and peace be with you Pink_Uniqueorn;

Thank you, and peace be with you, too.

I would say you seem much stronger than you give yourself credit for. You are sounding so much more positive than you were two days ago, that is an amazing step forward.

Thank you so much. I did not even realize that! It has to be because I got such amazing support here.

Think positive, if you are making mistakes, it means you are still trying, recognising that you make mistakes means you want to improve; it gives you cause to reflect. It means you have to try harder, and it is within your power to push yourself further. Pray for the wisdom and the strength to do the will of Allah, you are not on your own.

Thanks. That is a really positive outlook on mistakes that you have provided, and it really helps me so much.

Sorry, probably my fault more than yours, I have forgotten what it is like to be 14

Oh, no, it is okay. I just said that because I still have a lot to learn. I did not mean any offense, sorry.


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Being emotional and sensitive is normal. You are a growing young woman and you will discover many emotions you had never before experience (wow, now I feel old saying this!).
Those feeling do not make you dumb. They make you human. You simply need time to get used to them

Thank you for the reply! You are right about these emotional experiences. I guess it will take me some time before I learn and sort everything out.

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format_quote Originally Posted by DanEdge

Boy, I hope that nobody out there is judging me for all the dumb mistakes I make all the time, and I'm 40 years old! I can be quite a sensitive Little Snowflake sometimes, too. While it is true that biological impulses can make teenage years more difficult, what many of us learn as adults is not to never make dumb mistakes, but that it is okay to make dumb mistakes. Unless you are a Prophet of some kind, you are going to be just a regular human, and humans make dumb mistakes all the time. Even clever ones.

Thank you for the reply. It is always great to hear from someone who has lived a lot longer compared to me. I do need to learn to stop stressing about every little blunder, so really thank you for the inspirational post!

format_quote Originally Posted by Duas_Revival

Assalamu Alaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh,

Firstly - What has Allah azza wajal said about this in the Quran? Is there any hope left for us?!





Furthermore - Allah says in Surah Baqarah Verse 155: "And We will surely test you with something of fear and hunger and a loss of wealth and lives and fruits, but give good tidings to the patient".

Secondly - Do you know the power of Dua? Dua is the weapon of a believer!

And your Lord says, "Call upon Me, I will respond to you." Quran (40:60)

I sincerely recommend "one thing for you" - recommend reading this beautiful supplication (Dua) as soon as possible. This is an authentic Dua recited by Prophet Yunus (AS) in the belly of the fish, when he was in distress. If any Muslim supplicates in these words, his supplication will be accepted/responded to.







Arabic to English Translation: La ilaha illa anta, Subhanaka, Inni kuntu minaz-zalimin]


Meaning: There is no God but You, Glorified be You! Truly, I have been of the wrongdoers


Learn More: https://www.duasrevival.com/supplica...us-forgiveness


Furthermore if it's not too much trouble please kindly watch this video, it is so joyful:





Please remember us in your Duas.

Jazakallahu Khair,
DR

. Thank you for your reply. I will be sure to recite what you have provided me with, and I will also go and watch the video.

format_quote Originally Posted by Eric H

Greetings and peace be with you FilleTriste;

Hello @Eric H ,

Thank you for the kind wishes; same to you.

I see you have changed your name, does that mean you are starting to change your view on life a little?

Not that I think so. I changed my username as it is quite similar to the username I use on various video games and other services. Some of the examples include a gaming console on which I go by that name; the problem is, there is also other personal information of mine on that console, so I do not want to end up getting my privacy invaded by someone.

I hope you and your family are well.

Blessings
Eric

We are better, thank you. I hope the same for you.

It's not green anymore because she has changed her email address and did not activate the new email. Her account is actually awaiting email confirmation.

We have seen members do that when they do not want to visit the forum anymore.