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  1. #1
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    Self-reformation (OP)


    “O you who believe, FEAR ALLAH and speak that which is straight (correct) (s33 : v70)

    Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) is reported to have said: Among the things that will throw people most into Jahannum will be the harvest of their tongue.” A Mu’min with Taqwa does not soil his tongue by uttering foul and putrid vulgar words. He also refrains from lying, backbiting, breaking hearts with sarcastic comments, mocking, etc.
    He keeps his tongue clean… so that he can take the pure name of Allah Ta’ala with a clean tongue.
    4 | Likes Al Khorasani, Desert, cinnamonrolls1, Junon liked this post
    Self-reformation

    Allah (swt) knows best

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    Re: Self-reformation

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    ‘Abdullah bin ‘Umar (radhiyallahu ‘anhuma) was once performing tawaaf when he saw a man from Yemen who was carrying his mother on his back in tawaaf. As the man carried her, he was uttering the following words of poetry:

    I am her subservient camel
    Although her conveyance may frighten and worry her, I will never cause her concern
    Though I am carrying her (on my back), the period for which she carried me (in her womb) was longer

    The man thereafter turned to Ibnu ‘Umar (radhiyallahu ‘anhuma) and asked, “Have I fulfilled the right of my mother (by carrying her in tawaaf)?” Ibnu ‘Umar (radhiyallahu ‘anhuma) replied, “No! In fact, you have not even repaid her for one gasp she emitted (due to the pain of labor).”
    (Shu‘abul Imaan #7550)

    The son of Husain (radhiyallahu ‘anhu), ‘Ali bin Husain (rahimahullah), who was also known as Zainul ‘Aabideen (rahimahullah), was once asked, “You are a person who always ensures that he is obedient to his parents. Why is it that you then refrain from eating out of one utensil with your mother?” Zainul ‘Aabideen (rahimahullah) replied, “I fear that my hand will reach for a morsel of food whereas my mother’s gaze may have fallen on it and she may have wished it for herself. If I have to take a morsel which my mother wished for herself, I will be regarded as a disobedient son.”

    (‘Uyoonul Akhbaar vol. 3 pg. 97)

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    Re: Self-reformation

    We should, at all times, remember that our life is coming to an end. We have also heard our elders say that a person should take stock of his life when going to sleep. He should ponder and reflect over the number of things he will be able to take with him when he passes away and the number of things he will be forced to leave behind. Constantly remember death! Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) is reported to have said in the mubaarak hadeeth, “Remember the thing which severs all pleasures of life, death.” Once a janaazah was passing by when somebody asked a pious person present, “Whose janaazah is this?” The pious person replied, “It is your janaazah.” When the person expressed surprise at this answer, the pious person said, “If it is not yours, then regard it to be mine.” (Merely being concerned about whose janaazah it is, is insufficient. What matters is whether one is prepared for that moment to be the moment of one’s own janaazah.)

    (Suhbate ba Awliyaa’ page.152)

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    Re: Self-reformation

    Abu Abdillah Al Jadali reports, I asked Sayyidah ‘Aaishah (radiyallahu ‘anha) about the character of the Messenger of Allah (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam).
    ‘Aaishah (radiyallahu ‘anha) said,

    “The Prophet was not indecent, he was not obscene, he would not shout in the markets, and he would not respond to an evil deed with an evil deed, but rather he would pardon and overlook.”

    (Sunan Tirmidhi, Hadith: 2016)
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    Re: Self-reformation

    Sometimes, people go to extremes when praising people for their good or reproaching them for their mistakes. They either raise them up above the sky or push them down beneath the earth when praising them or reproaching them. This way is incorrect. We should refrain from exaggeration in speech. In the following aayah, Allah Ta‘ala commands us to adopt justice in our speech and actions at all times:

    وَلَا يَجْرِمَنَّكُمْ شَنَآنُ قَوْمٍ عَلَىٰ أَلَّا تَعْدِلُوا ۚ اعْدِلُوا هُوَ أَقْرَبُ لِلتَّقْوَىٰ

    The enmity of any people should not cause you to surpass the limits of justice. Remain just (at all times), that is closer to piety.

    (Suhbat Baa Awliyaa pg. 106)

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    Re: Self-reformation

    There are many men and women who suffer from the bad habit of sometimes cursing their children, etc, out of anger and grief. Remember that in the court of Allah Ta‘ala there are certain moments of acceptance during which all du‘aas are answered. Hence, at times due to foolishness and stupidity, the children are cursed out of anger, and when the effect of that curse comes upon the children and lands them into a calamity, the parents go around crying, not even realizing that they themselves had asked for this calamity through their curse.

    Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) has prohibited us from cursing ourselves, our children, wealth, servants, etc, as it is possible that this curse will coincide with a moment of acceptance. One should exercise even more care in the month of Ramadhaan as the entire month is a period in which du‘aas are accepted. It is thus extremely important to avoid cursing in this month.

    (Fazaail-e-A’amaal [urdu], Fazaail-e-Ramadhaan pg. 22)

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    Re: Self-reformation

    THE calico-covered corpse is gently lowered into the grave. Loving hands of sons and brothers receive the body of their loved one and place it in the narrow pit. The strips of plank are placed firmly next to each other. The last plank is placed leaving a dark and lonely grave under it. Spades are grabbed and heaps of sand come crashing down from all directions. However, all around the grave, business goes on as usual.

    While the most stark reminder of death is right in front of the eyes, the latest car on the market, the rand/dollar exchange and other gossip continues among many of those present . While they patiently wait for the ' fatihah' to commence, the time is passed by idle gossip. Carrying the janaza on our shoulders and witnessing the deceased being lowered into the grave also does not remind us of our own death. What then will remind us of that moment (which could be extremely soon) when we will breathe our last?

    Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) is reported to have said: "Remember excessively that which severs all pleasures — DEATH." The best reminder of death is the graveyard itself. Hence Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) has greatly encouraged that one should regularly visit the graveyard. While this Sunnah of Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) is unfortunately rarely practised, at least we get an opportunity to visit the graveyard when attending a funeral. However , this occasion of remembering death is also wasted gossiping .

    The condition of Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) when attending a funeral is clearly described in the following Hadith of Bara' (R.A.). He says: "Once we went with Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) to attend the funeral and burial of a person. When we reached there, Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) sat by the side of a grave and wept so profusely that the ground became wet with his tears. He then said: "Prepare yourself for (your entry in) the grave." (Targheeb)

    Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) has also instructed us as to what we should be doing when attending a janazah. Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) once said to the Sahaba (R.A.) when they had buried a person: "Seek forgiveness for your brother and beseech Allah Ta'ala to keep him firm for verily he will be questioned now" (Mishkaat p.26)

    Thus the rare occasions when we visit the graveyard should serve as a reminder of our own death. Those few moments among the graves should not be wasted in idle gossip and worldly talk. While the burial is in progress, one should engage oneself in silently reciting whatever one is able to of the Qur'an with the intention of passing the rewards to the deceased. This would be of immense benefit to oneself as well as the deceased. May Allah Ta'ala enable us to remember our death often, especially while in the graveyard. Aameen.
    http://alhaadi.org.za/articles-publi...the-grave.html

    - - - Updated - - -

    THE calico-covered corpse is gently lowered into the grave. Loving hands of sons and brothers receive the body of their loved one and place it in the narrow pit. The strips of plank are placed firmly next to each other. The last plank is placed leaving a dark and lonely grave under it. Spades are grabbed and heaps of sand come crashing down from all directions. However, all around the grave, business goes on as usual.

    While the most stark reminder of death is right in front of the eyes, the latest car on the market, the rand/dollar exchange and other gossip continues among many of those present . While they patiently wait for the ' fatihah' to commence, the time is passed by idle gossip. Carrying the janaza on our shoulders and witnessing the deceased being lowered into the grave also does not remind us of our own death. What then will remind us of that moment (which could be extremely soon) when we will breathe our last?

    Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) is reported to have said: "Remember excessively that which severs all pleasures — DEATH." The best reminder of death is the graveyard itself. Hence Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) has greatly encouraged that one should regularly visit the graveyard. While this Sunnah of Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) is unfortunately rarely practised, at least we get an opportunity to visit the graveyard when attending a funeral. However , this occasion of remembering death is also wasted gossiping .

    The condition of Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) when attending a funeral is clearly described in the following Hadith of Bara' (R.A.). He says: "Once we went with Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) to attend the funeral and burial of a person. When we reached there, Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) sat by the side of a grave and wept so profusely that the ground became wet with his tears. He then said: "Prepare yourself for (your entry in) the grave." (Targheeb)

    Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) has also instructed us as to what we should be doing when attending a janazah. Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) once said to the Sahaba (R.A.) when they had buried a person: "Seek forgiveness for your brother and beseech Allah Ta'ala to keep him firm for verily he will be questioned now" (Mishkaat p.26)

    Thus the rare occasions when we visit the graveyard should serve as a reminder of our own death. Those few moments among the graves should not be wasted in idle gossip and worldly talk. While the burial is in progress, one should engage oneself in silently reciting whatever one is able to of the Qur'an with the intention of passing the rewards to the deceased. This would be of immense benefit to oneself as well as the deceased. May Allah Ta'ala enable us to remember our death often, especially while in the graveyard. Aameen.
    http://alhaadi.org.za/articles-publi...the-grave.html

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    Re: Self-reformation

    Assalaamu ‘alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakaatuh

    Respected Moulana

    Please advise me as to what is the best method of removing malice and jealousy from my heart, and how do I create humility within myself?

    Jazakallah

    Was-Salaam

    Reply:

    Bismillahir Rahmaanir Raheem

    Brother / Sister in Islam

    Wa ‘alaikumus salaam wa rahmatullahi wa barakaatuh

    1. Masha-Allah, your concern for your reformation and the effort being made towards having a clean heart is very admirable. It is mentioned in a hadeeth that keeping the heart clean, from harbouring any malice, is from the blessed sunnah, and a means of being with Rasulullah (sallallaahu ‘alaihi wasallam) in Jannah. (Sunan Tirmizi #2678)

    A Sahaabi (radhiyallahu ‘anhu) was given the glad-tidings of Jannah on the basis of having such a pure heart, wherein no ill-feelings were harboured towards any Muslim and no jealousy was accommodated, regarding any favour that Allah Ta‘ala had blessed anyone with. (Musnad Ahmad #12697)

    2. Commonly, where there is jealousy, then hatred and malice will be found, as well as backbiting and desiring evil for others; all of which are grave spiritual ailments of the heart and cause immense destruction to one’s imaan and Deen, and deprive us of the mercy of Allah Ta‘ala.
    We should bear in mind that Allah Ta‘ala is the Distributor of all bounties and He gives to whomsoever He wills. He does so with great wisdom and mercy, which we cannot fathom with our limited intelligence. Jealousy is objection, discontent and dissatisfaction with the decisions of Allah Ta‘ala. The one who is jealous has to contend with the most harm since his life becomes miserable and suffocating, and his own good deeds are destroyed.

    The ahaadeeth present easy prescriptions to rectify and purify one’s heart from these ailments:

    a. Make salaam and musafahah.

    b. Make du‘aa for the person. Making du‘aa will create within the heart the qualities of love and well-wishing.

    c. Give a gift.

    d. Be conscious of Allah Ta‘ala. Remind yourself: Allah Ta‘ala is aware of and seeing the malice and jealousy in my heart. Insha-Allah, this will create a sense of shame in the heart and prompt towards taubah and du‘aa.

    e. Frequently read this du‘aa:
    رَبَّنَا اغْفِرْ لَنَا وَلِإِخْوَانِنَا الَّذِينَ سَبَقُونَا بِالْإِيمَانِ وَلَا تَجْعَلْ فِي قُلُوبِنَا غِلًّا لِّلَّذِينَ آمَنُوا رَبَّنَا إِنَّكَ رَءُوفٌ رَّحِيمٌ

    “Rabbanagh fir-lana wa-li ikhwaaninal lazeena sabaqoona bil Imaan, wala taj‘al fee quloobina ghillal lillazeena aamanu Rabbana innaka Ra-oofur Raheem.”(Surah Hashr v10)

    3. Look at those who have less than you; those who are in want and dire need. Look at what Allah Ta‘ala has given you. There are so many bounties that we enjoy – spiritual, physical and material blessings – that cannot be counted. So increase shukr over the bounties and make taubah over sins.

    4. Pondering over the greatness of Allah Ta‘ala engenders the quality of humility. Figuratively speaking, if a little candle flame brags and boasts before the bright, shining sun: “I am very bright and I have a lot of light!” the sun will say: “How foolish you are! What does your brightness offer in this brightness of mine!” When we consider the ‘azmat and greatness of Allah Ta‘ala, our true state and insignificance becomes evident to us. We realise that there is no bounty except that it is from Allah Ta‘ala; it is not our achievement and should thus not make us exultant, proud and arrogant. With recognition (ma’rifah), humbleness will follow.
    Allah Ta‘ala bless us all with pure hearts and the reality of humility and submission.

    Was salaamu ‘alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakaatuh

    Yunus Patel (Moulana)
    http://uswatulmuslimah.co.za/womens-...nd-hatred.html

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    Re: Self-reformation

    Hazrat Mufti Ebrahim Salejee (Daamat Barakaatuhu) mentioned:

    The purpose of going for a bayaan is not for excitement, but the thing to see is what you gained from it. The idea is that when you come out from a program there must be determination to change one’s life, a feeling of remorse over the wrongs one had committed, and the realization that one needs to correct oneself. This type of introspection over one’s deeds and looking for a way to correct oneself is called tafaqqud. One is tafaqqud over others (i.e. inspecting other people’s actions and lives) and one is tafaqqud within one’s own self. Are you inspecting and observing yourself or not? This was the general trend in the past. When they found that there was something short in their aspirations then they would inspect their own deeds. We need to think to ourselves that why do we not find a consistent pattern in our deen, why are we going up and then dipping? Similarly why are feelings and thoughts of jealousy and pride overcoming me?
    http://ihyaauddeen.co.za/?p=8466

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