A person should restrain himself from anger. Anger causes a lot of harm.
Allah's Apostle(s.a.w.s) said, "the strong is not the one who overcomes the people by his strength, but the strong is the one who controls himself while in anger."
Sahih al-Bukhari 6114
Last edited by Insaanah; 11-25-2012 at 03:34 PM.
Reason: Please make sure to name the hadeeth collection when you quote a hadeeth as per rule 18 (rules listed under FAQs). Jazakillah
Greetings and peace be with you fairy333; and thanks for sharing,
The Messenger of Allah said:
"If a man gets angry and says: "I seek refuge with Allah, Subhaanahu Wa Ta'ala" his anger will go away."
I am a Catholic and found this Islamic video very helpful to understand anger and forgiveness. It tries to explain the differences between the things people find important in this life and the important things for an after life. Click out of the advert and there is a short Arabic introduction, the rest is in English.
Surah Al ' Imran 3:132-134
132. And obey Allah and the Messenger (Muhammad ) that you may obtain mercy.
133. And march forth in the way (which leads to) forgiveness from your Lord, and for Paradise as wide as are the heavens and the earth, prepared for Al-Muttaqun (
134. Those who spend [in Allah's Cause - deeds of charity, alms, etc.] in prosperity and in adversity, who repress anger, and who pardon men; verily, Allah loves Al-Muhsinun (the good-doers).
I've lost hope completely.I tried everything to control on my anger,now I don't make any effort to control it.
Its a struggle, you wont achieve it in one day, its a battle, a jihad against the nafs. it will end when you return to Allah subhana wa'a ta'ala. However you can control it, but it will take years.
I have much anger sometimes, i am kind of a aggresive person, but slowly i am dealing how to get rid of it in situations in which being angry is unnecessary.
http://www.youtube.com/user/robinb4life?feature=mhee
I will not calm down until I will put one cheek of a tyrant on the ground and the other under my feet, and for the poor and weak, I will put my cheek on the ground. - Umar ibn khattab(Ra)
yeah, and your situation at home is very VERY difficult. It's a good thing your mother is supportive of you becoming Muslim masha-Allah
Keep on keeping on bro Jedi.
Sis Pure Purple, I find that some people may always seem to be on our cases - so i just take what is good from them and whatever else they have, I ignore it and move on swiftly.
Time is precious, too precious to waste away arguing in anger. The trick is, to find something that will be a lot more distracting and beneficial for you than an argument.
I like to run - so I run it's a great frustration buster and leaves my brain flooded with feel good chemicals like seratonin
Do you exercise? If you don't, I would highly recommend just a 20 min workout a day, especially at times when you feel yourself getting stressed over reasons known or unknown.
Also, salaah is the joy of the believer - take to salaah and you will find that people will start to leave you alone and stress you less.
I also love sticking my nose in a book - and always have a selection of books I want to read, handy by my bedside. I read slowly, because I like to absorb what I read and contemplate the deeper meanings behind each paragraph - I don't read novels though, I like to read up on people of historical importance and histories in general, and I love to compare conflicting accounts of historical events. Comparatives are really something amazing
Why am I telling you this? because the more you engage in fruitful efforts, the less time you will have to engage in fuitless ones!
Its a struggle, you wont achieve it in one day, its a battle, a jihad against the nafs. it will end when you return to Allah subhana wa'a ta'ala. However you can control it, but it will take years.
My mothers says I have reduced my anger drastically ,but still I got angry sometimes on unnecessary things.
Many times I do feel what's my fault in that.It's inborn,I was aggressive since my childhood,I see many blessed people they never get angry on anything becoz it's his/ her nature.
I do my best to control my anger but my question is anger ever justified many Muslims were angry about the Danish Cartoons in 2006 is this anger justified ?
Whether anger itself is justified I think depends on the context, getting angry over seeing injustice is understandable but the issue is letting your anger control you. That shouldn't be the case.
Abû Hurayrah relates that a man said to the Prophet (peace be upon him):
“Counsel me.” The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: “Do not get angry.” The man repeated his request many times, but the Prophet (peace be upon him) kept saying: “Do not get angry.” [ Sahîh al-Bukhârî ]
The importance of this hadith:
The secret behind this hadīth's importance lies in the fact that the Prophet (peace be upon him) limited his counsel to this person in one short instruction: “Do not get angry.” Al-Nawawî informs us that Abû Muhammad `Abd Allah b. Abî Zayd said: “Everything that constitutes good manners can be derived from four hadith…” and mentioned among them the Prophet's statement “…to the one to whom he limited his counsel with: ‘Do not get angry'.”
This statement, given in this context, is rich in meaning. First, by limiting his counsel to this one short instruction, the Prophet (peace be upon us) indicates the importance of controlling one's anger, and that doing so has far-reaching implications for a person's welfare both in the worldly life and in the Hereafter.
Ibn Hajar, in his commentary on this hadith, observes:
The man stated his question repeatedly, hoping to solicit an answer that was more beneficial, or more explanatory, or more general; however he did not give him anything more than that.” [ Fath al-Bârî ]
Secondly, the categorical nature of this brief statement gives the prohibition sweeping implications – since it can be understood to indicate many things, for instance, that we should prevent ourselves from getting angry in the first place, and that we should forbid ourselves from acting according to the dictates of our anger in the event that we become angry.
The emotion of anger
Anger is a very powerful emotion. It rages through a person, creating a desire for revenge and for striking out at the object of anger. Anger is an emotion that inspires action, and the action that it inspires is one of injury. The emotion of anger invokes within a person the very antithesis of mercy, compassion, self-restraint, and kindness.
This is what makes the emotion so dangerous. If left unchecked and uncontrolled, it is the emotion that can lead a person to the evilest of deeds and to the worst and most tragic consequences.
Prevention of anger
The statement “Do not get angry”, taken on its face value, is commanding us not to experience the emotion of anger at all. We know that this cannot be the intended meaning in an absolute sense, since it is an impossible instruction to uphold. Anger is a natural, human emotion. It is impossible for a person to avoid it absolutely.
Though this hadith may not be prohibiting us from ever experiencing the emotion of anger, it is, at the very least, advising us strongly to avoid that emotion as much as possible.
And, indeed, there are measures that a person can take to limit his chances of getting angry.
First, he can condition himself to remain cool-tempered. When a person's temper is under control, he is less likely to become angry when an occasion for anger arises, and more likely to control himself when he, in spite of himself, does become angry.
Another way that a person can limit his chances of getting angry is for him to know what causes anger and remove those causes from his life.
Among the chief causes of anger are pride and arrogance, since a prideful person is most easily offended and the most painfully stung by criticism. Another cause of anger is being argumentative. The more a person disputes with others, the less likely he is to accept the truth. His views become increasingly polarized and emotionally charged. A Muslim is, therefore, encouraged to avoid these negative character traits. In doing so, he will be less likely to get angry.
Self-restraint in anger
The statement “Do not get angry” can be understood in another way. Instead of commanding us not to experience the emotion of anger in our hearts, it is telling us not to act upon that emotion when we are beset by it. There is no doubt that this hadith is commanding us to, at the very least, exercise self-restraint when we feel angry. This much is obligatory upon us.
This meaning is clearly conveyed to us by many texts, some of which praise those who control themselves in anger. This implies that feeling anger is not always sinful or blameworthy in and of itself. Indeed, when a person conducts himself properly in anger, he is in fact doing something worthy of praise.
Allah describes the God-fearing as those who restrain themselves in anger.
He says: “And hasten to forgiveness from your Lord and a garden whose width is that of the heavens and the Earth, prepared for the God-fearing. Who spend in times of ease and times of hardship and who restrain their anger and who pardon people. And Allah loves those who do good.” [ Sûrah `Âl `Imrân : 133-134]
He also says: “And what is with Allah is better and more enduring for those who believe and who rely upon their Lord. And those who avoid the major sins and indecencies, and when they become angry, they forgive.” [ Sûrah al-Shûrâ : 36-37]
The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: “The strong man is not the one who can throw another down. The strong man is the one who can keep hold of himself when he is angry.” [ Sahîh al-Bukhârî and Sahîh Muslim ]
We should seek refuge with Allah when we become angry. Two men began hurling insults at one another in the presence of the Prophet (peace be upon him), each one insulting the other with such anger that his face had turned red. The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: “I know a word that if one were to say it, what stresses him would go away. If he would but say: ‘I seek refuge with Allah from Satan the Accursed'.” [ Sahîh al-Bukhârî and Sahîh Muslim ]
The Prophet (peace be upon him) advised us not to speak when we are angry. He said: “If one of you gets angry, he should be quiet.” [ Musnad Ahmad ]
The Prophet (peace be upon him) gave us other practical advice. He said: “If one of you gets angry and he is standing, then he should sit down until his anger subsides. If it does not, then he should lie down.” [ Sunan Abî Dâwûd ]
He also said: “Anger is from Satan, and Satan was created from fire. Fire is but extinguished by water, so if one of you gets angry, he should perform wudû'.” [ Sûnan Abî Dâwûd and Musnad Ahmad ]
Righteous anger
We need to mention that not all anger is sinful. Anger that inspires a person to avenge his own personal feelings is indeed blameworthy. However, anger can also be felt for the sake of Allah and for His religion. This is the anger that a Muslim should feel when his religion is attacked, his beliefs blasphemed, and the honor and lives of the people are transgressed against.
However, this anger, if it is truly and sincerely for Allah's sake, will only inspire us to noble deeds and to personal sacrifice, and never to base, unjust, or ignoble actions.
The Companions relate that the Prophet (peace be upon him) would never became angry for anything. However, if the sanctity of Allah was profaned, then nothing could assuage his anger.” [ Sahîh al-Bukhârî and Sahîh Muslim ]
The Prophet (peace be upon him) never acted angrily for personal reasons. He never once so much as raised his voice to his servants or his family. Anas relates that he worked as the Prophet's servant for ten years, and not once did the Prophet (peace be upon him) so much as say “ uff ” to him, or ask him when he did something “Why did you do that?” or ask him when he neglected something: “Why didn't you do that?” [ Sahîh al-Bukhârî and Sahîh Muslim ]
The Companions relate: “The Prophet (peace be upon him) exhibited more shyness than a maiden in seclusion. If he saw something that he disliked, we would see it in his face.” [ Sahîh al-Bukhârî ]
How difficult is it to practice patience when being provoked? At the same time, how many times have we responded much too sensitively, although we were not the clear target of anyone’s malice?
How many hearts have been lost in an effort to win arguments? And yet, as human beings it is natural and even our right to disagree, and to think critically. One of the most difficult challenges of character for Muslims of every background is being able to practice hilm (forbearance) during times of anger and disagreement—that is to be able to disagree with a dignified and generous spirit, and to think critically without being argumentative, stubborn, and condescending. It is because we as a community fall into this so much, and on so many levels, that I found this issue to be a relevant reminder to myself and others.
The activist argues about strategy, the student argues about fiqh and other branches of knowledge, the community leader argues in the board room, and the Imam with those who disagree with his style or approach. Whether it be with our family, friends, community members or the Islamophobe—we often find ourselves in situations where anger and argumentation can creep in, sour the mood, and sully the spirit. Below is a collection of Quranic verses, Prophetic narrations, and sayings of righteous people mostly taken from Sa’eed Hawwa’s work “Selected Writings on Purifying the Soul.” These statements remind us to prevent anger and argumentation from getting the better of us.
May Allah help us to remember that when we deal with people, our transactions are actually with Him and not His creation. As such, may awareness of His presence (ihsan) bring goodness from our speech and characters during times of difficulty as well as ease. Ameen.
1. “And when the foolish address them (with bad words) they reply back with ‘Salamaa’ (peaceful words of gentleness).” (Qur’an, 25:63)
2. “If they pass by some vain speech or play, they pass by it with dignity.” (Qur’an, 25:72)
3. “And be moderate in your pace and lower your voice; indeed, the most disagreeable of sounds is the voice of donkeys… But of the people is he who disputes about Allah without knowledge or guidance or an enlightening Book.” (Qur’an, 31:19-20)
4. The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ (peace be upon him) said: “He who gave up disputing while he is right, a palace of high rank in Paradise will be built for him. He who gave up disputing while he is a fabricator, a palace in the center of Paradise will be built for him.” (al-Tirmidhi who declared it as hasan)
5. “There are no people who went astray after having been guided except for indulging in disputation.” (al-Tirmidhi)
6. The Messenger of Allah ﷺ repeated three times, “Those who search deeply for confusing questions have perished.” (Muslim)
7. “Do not dispute with your brother, ridicule him, nor promise him and then break your promise.” (al-Tirmidhi)
8. Bilal ibn Sa’d radiAllahu `anhu (ra) said, “If you see a disputing, arrogant, and bigoted person, bear in mind that they are utterly lost.”
9. Luqman `alayhi assalam (as) said to his son, “O son! Do not dispute with the knowledgeable lest they detest you.”
10. `Umar (ra) said, “Do not learn knowledge for three things and do not leave it for three things. Do not learn it to dispute over it, to show off with it, or to boast about it. Do not leave seeking it out of shyness, dislike for it, or contending with ignorance in its stead.”
11. It was narrated that Abu Hanifa said to Dawud al-Taa’i, “Why do you prefer seclusion?” Dawud replied, “To struggle against myself to leave disputing.” Abu Hanifah said, “Attend meetings, listen to what is said, and remain silent.” Dawud said, “I have done so, but I have found nothing heavier than this.”
12. `A’ishah (ra) narrated that the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said, “The most hated person with Allah is the most quarrelsome person.” (al-Bukhari)
13. Ibn Qutaybah said that his disputant said to him, “What is the matter with you?” He replied to him, “I will not dispute with you.” The disputant then said, “Thus you have come to know that I am right.” Ibn Qutaybah responded, “No, but I respect myself more than that.” At this the disputant retracted and said, “And I will not claim a thing that is not my right.”
14. The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said: “The one initiating abuse incurs the sin of abusing as long as the other did not return it.” (Muslim)
15. “The believer does not curse.” (al-Tirmidhi who declared it hasan)
16. “The believer does not defame, abuse, disparage, nor vilify.” (al-Tirmidhi, sahih)
17. “Do not invoke Allah’s curse, His anger, or Hellfire.” (al-Tirmidhi who declared it hasan sahih)
18. “Men accustomed to cursing will not be intercessors or witnesses on the Day of Resurrection.” (Muslim)
19. Abdullah ibn ‘Amr (ra) narrated, “I asked the Messenger of Allah ﷺ about what saves me from Allah’s wrath, and he said, “Do not become angry.” (al-Tabarani and Ibn Abdul Barr) Ibn `Umar, Ibn Mas’ud, and Abu Darda’ (ra) relate similar conversations on their own behalf.
20. The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said, “He who is victorious over his passion at the time of anger is the strongest among you. He who forgives having the power to release (his anger and take revenge) is the most patient among you.” (a-Baihaqi in Shu’ab al-Imaan)
21. Abu Hurairah (ra) narrated, “The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said, ‘The strong person is not he who has physical strength but the person is strong if he can control his anger.” (al-Bukhari and Muslim)
22. `Umar ibn Abdul Aziz wrote to one of his governors and said, “Do not punish at the time of anger. If you are angry with any man, keep him in detention. When your anger is appeased punish him in proportion to his crime.”
23. ‘Ali ibn Zaid mentioned, “A man of the Quraysh spoke harshly to the Caliph `Umar Ibn ‘Abdul ‘Aziz who remained silent for a long time and then said, “You wish that the devil rouses in me the pride of the Caliphate and I treat you so rudely that you can take revenge tomorrow (in the Afterlife) on me.”
24. Ibn ‘Abbas (ra) narrated, the Messenger of Allah ﷺ said, “And when you get angry, keep silent.” (Ahmad, Ibn Abi Dunya, al-Tabarani, and al-Bayhaqi)
25. The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said, “Anger is a burning coal. It burns in the heart.” (al-Tirmidhi and al-Bayhaqi)
26. “When anyone of you gets angry, let him perform ablution because anger arises from fire.” (Abu Dawud)
27. “Nobody swallows a more bitter pill than that of anger—seeking the satisfaction of Allah.” (Ibn Majah)
28. `Umar (ra) said, “He who fears Allah cannot give an outlet to his anger (by sinning). He who fears Allah cannot do what he likes.”
29. A nomad said to the Messenger of Allah ﷺ “Advise me.” And he ﷺ said, “If a man defamed you with what he knows about you, do not defame him with what you know about him. For the sin is against him.” The nomad said, “I never abused any person after that.”
30. Al-Hasan (ra) said, “He that did not safeguard his tongue did not understand his religion.”
You thought it was over didn’t you? Here is a little something extra to encourage us not only to avoid such negative traits, but to also proactively seek positive ones in their place.
10 Reasons to Strive for Generosity of Spirit and Kindness in Speech
1. The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said, “Kind speech and feeding (the hungry) guarantee you Paradise.” (al-Tabarani)
2. “And speak nicely to people.” (Qur’an, 2:83)
3. “When you are greeted with a greeting, greet in return with what is better than it, or (at least) return it equally.” (Qur’an, 4:86) Ibn Abbas commented on this and said, “He who greets you return his greeting in better words even if he were a Magian. He also said, “If Pharoah were to speak nicely to me, I would do so to him.”
4. Anas (ra) narrated that the Messenger of Allah ﷺ said, “Verily there are chambers in Paradise; their insides and outsides can be seen – for him who spoke kindly and fed (the hungry).” (al-Tirmidhi)
5. He ﷺ also said, “A good word is also a charitable deed.” (Muslim)
6. “Ward off the Fire even if by giving half a date in charity. If you could not afford that then utter a kind word.” (al-Bukhari and Muslim)
7. `Umar (ra) said, “Generosity is an easy thing. It is a smiling face and kind words.”
8. Some wise men said, “Do not be stingy with a word that does not arouse your Lord’s wrath yet it pleases your brother. It may happen that Allah gives you the reward of those who do good works.”
9. “And let not those among you who are blessed with graces and wealth swear not to give to their kinsmen, the poor, and those who left their homes for Allah’s cause. Let them pardon and forgive. Do you not wish that Allah should forgive you?” (Qur’an, 24:22). Abu Bakr (ra) had cut off his financial support of his relative Mustah because Mustah had participated in the slander against his daughter `A’ishah (ra). After this verse was revealed, he resumed and even increased the amount he gave Mustah in financial support.
10. “Show forgiveness, enjoin what is good, and turn away from the foolish.” (Qur’an, 7:199)
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