What’s Wrong With A Lustful Gaze?

Good post, we have something similar in the sisters section:

Your real problem is what you mentioned about looking at women, even if that is with the aim of marriage, as you say. Whoever looks at women spoils his religious commitment and weakens his faith, and he no longer appreciates his wife and he spends all his time thinking another woman. This, of course, puts him off his wife even more and makes him think more of a second marriage, which he thinks is the way out. Whoever is aware of how people are will realize that because of this haraam looking, what was beautiful yesterday becomes ugly to them today, and as time passes, what was new becomes old and boring, so they will live a restless life and will never settle down, and one wife or two wives will never be for them.

Hence we say: Fear Allaah, may He be exalted, and lower your gaze and avoid looking at that which Allaah has forbidden. Go back to your wife and think about some of her attractive features and her good qualities, and you will find a lot of goodness, as the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “No believing man should hate a believing woman. If he dislikes one of her qualities, he will be pleased with another.” Narrated by Muslim (2672).

If a person wants to get married, it is not permissible for him to look at every woman who is coming and going, rather it is permissible for him to look at the one to whom he wants to propose marriage when he has decided to propose. So if he is told about a woman and he is pleased with her religious commitment, character and family, then all that remains is for him to look at her. It is permissible for him to do that whether it is with or without her knowledge, a look without desire.

As for what some people do, looking freely at women right and left, on the grounds that they will choose one of them, this is haraam and is not approved of in sharee’ah or accepted by sound human nature; no one would accept this for himself or his family.

We think that you understand all of that, and that deep down you understand that choosing a second wife by looking at women who are coming and going, is nothing but a trick by means of which the shaytaan has fooled you into haraam looking which will only make you more restless, in addition to it being disobedience towards the Most Merciful, may He be exalted, and obedience to the Shaytaan and falling into his trap.

Source

Salaam,
Something that we do so naturally, yet so wrong.
This really shocked me into looking at myself and keeping control of my eyes!

InshAllah, everyone will benefit from this.

Wasalaam,
Sister Khadijah

"What’s Wrong With A Lustful Gaze?"

Many of us who are used to watching The Bachelor, SINbad or Temptation Island, or are addicted to Bollywood movies, or enjoy the company of people of the opposite gender, may wonder what’s wrong with lustfully staring at the attractive features of the opposite gender? Perhaps one saying of our beloved Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) sums it all up:

“The unrestrained glance is one of the poisoned arrows of Shaytan"

Therefore, a secret lustful look at a person of opposite gender has been compared by the Prophet to an arrow from Shaytan that:

• It poisons our hearts (what exactly do you gain out if it apart from the momentary thrill of having sinned? Is there anything worse than enjoying what Allah hates?)

• It ruins our intentions (am I doing it for Allah or to check out the crowd?)

• It gives rise to false hopes and desires ("I wish I could...", "Maybe she'll...", "I think he does..." when you know you can't, she won't, and he doesn't!)

• It distorts our perception of 'reality' (love is not 'at first sight' but lust is, a wife is not picked up off streets, real men don't have to flirt to be noticed, and there is nothing 'casual' about sex)

• It deprives us from enjoying and concentrating in Prayers (it's very hard to remember Allah while replaying last night's activities in one's head)

• It gives rise to constant feeling of guilt and depression (have you ever actually felt better about yourself after you did it than before?)

• It sometimes leads to sleepless nights (when fantasies seem so 'real'...)

• It renders our heart weak for continuous Shaytanic attacks (through addictions to music, fashion, self-image, explicit sights and sounds, etc)

• It promotes hypocrisy (does the 'shell' match the 'core'?)

• It eventually leads to Zina (unlawful intimacy: the darkness that draws one deeper and deeper until one is incapable of escaping even if willing, except he/she who Allah guides)

• Above all, it diminishes our love for and fear of Allah (you wouldn't be doing it if you thought about how Great and Loving the One you are turning away from, instead if how 'small' or 'innocent' your sin)

Allah commands us: "Say to the believing men that they should lower their gaze and guard their private parts; that will make for greater purity for them..." [24:30]. In the verse following this one, Allah commands “the believing women” in the similar manner.

this is so tru !
the other day i was wiv my kaafir friend in a tube n there was a lewd lady opposite us and i kept tellin him not 2 stare coz it aint right lol wen he asked me why i said becoz it leads 2 phornication and he said, but if me and her agree to it wats wrong wiv it.

i couldnt explain how wrong it was because he actually thinks it natural naudhubillah !!

How would you explain to a non-mulslim why a lustful gaze are wrong in Islam? To someone who has an answer for everything lol

Jazaaki Allahu khairan sister

format_quote Originally Posted by DeepOcean

How would you explain to a non-mulslim why a lustful gaze are wrong in Islam? To someone who has an answer for everything lol

lol what?

sry for bein cluless, i got a headache

jazakhala khairun

format_quote Originally Posted by IbnAbdulHakim

this is so tru !
the other day i was wiv my kaafir friend in a tube n there was a lewd lady opposite us and i kept tellin him not 2 stare coz it aint right lol wen he asked me why i said becoz it leads 2 phornication and he said, but if me and her agree to it wats wrong wiv it.

i couldnt explain how wrong it was because he actually thinks it natural naudhubillah !!

Simple, bring it back to Islam, tell him G-d prohibited it, and if he says things like 'you mean YOUR G-d prohibited it' or 'YOu think G-d prohibited' or something then you talk to him about tawheed and the proofs of islam.