Interaction between Men and Women on the Internet – Some Guidelines

“O wives of the Prophet! You are not like any other women. If you keep your duty (to Allaah), then be not soft in speech, lest he in whose heart is a disease (of hypocrisy, or evil desire for adultery) should be moved with desire, but speak in an honourable manner”
[al-Ahzaab 33:32].

Great reminders. An important thread. JazakAllah

omg i did not know this, couple days a go i posted something it got removed..now i know why thanx :)

thought this would be useful as a warning about ho

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esperanza revert of many years http://www.islamicboard.com/images/a...mic/oasis2.jpg Join Date: Aug 2011 Location: middle east Gender: Female Posts: 1,101	ghosts of the interent found this post ,warning girls to be careful talking to men ,on the interent even innocently ,as in time it can easily become more seroius ,epecially if your vulnerable thought its suitable to post here The Deceptive Ghosts of the Internet Thursday 20-10-2011 In the present age, Allaah The Almighty has enabled us to achieve great development in the ways and means of communication for the exchange of information and ideas, especially through the internet. The creation of internet forums and social networking sites has allowed the internet to enter almost every home. As a result, many virtuous sisters have explored this amazing and wonderful world. Unfortunately, some men take advantage of the heedlessness of some women and exploit their emotions in matters that do not please Allaah The Almighty through forums, chat rooms, instant messaging, and so on. It has been observed that women are especially vulnerable to the guiles of men in the virtual world; if a man throws a bait, a woman usually falls for it without much ado. Over a period of time, she discovers that she has become prey to an internet ghost whom she neither knows nor sees, but she finds herself in love with him and feels that she cannot live without him. She wishes to speak with one of these virtual 'ghosts' all the time, whereas in the past, the same woman might have considered talking to an unknown male stranger a grave major sin. She might not have expected that one day she would become emotionally attached to a strange man even though she is a virtuous, pure woman. Sometimes, this 'ghost' — or perhaps a better word would be 'wolf' — may be a wicked and evil minded individual who has devilish ways, while the poor sister who is involved in this unfortunate affair may think everything that glitters is gold and be unaware of his real character and inclinations. She may become over-confident or complacent about herself saying that she knows herself and can control herself. When a woman says these words, one should know that she is in great danger. It has been observed on internet forums that one of the means of men being able to prey on a woman is to frequently reply to the postings of a certain female member with words of praise, especially if this sister is particularly voluble. There are very few people who are capable of resisting their emotions and preventing their hearts from softening when someone follows the topics of their interest carefully and replies to their posts in a laudatory manner. O virtuous sister, beware of this! Do not be deceived by the ghosts of the internet. Sometimes, this wicked ghost posts a fabricated problem and embellishes his topic with eye-catching sentences; such as, “I want someone to share my concerns”. Then, he asks this poor girl, who does not know what is being prepared for her, to find a solution for his problem. She occupies herself with the problem and falls into the trap without perceiving this fact. The matter may go further by adding him as a new contact on her messenger. Instead of being a means of acquiring good deeds, the instant messenger program is turned into a means of evil. A sister may add a stranger out of curiosity in order to know him better or to know what he wants. Some sisters may add strange men under the pretext that she seeks an innocent friendship and that chatting over the internet is like normal speech. However, chances are that regular chatting may develop further to become severe sins and misdeeds that only Allaah The Almighty knows about. Sister! O you who are the one who raises the future generations of Muslim men and women; O you who is a protected pearl; beware of Allaah The Almighty and beware of following the devil’s footsteps! The devil does not directly lead a person to sin; rather, he leads him step by step and then lets him fall into sin. Moreover, he may induce the person to justify and rationalize the sin. Beware of minor sins as the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said: “Beware of minor sins, their example is like a people who camped at the foot of a valley, and one man brought a stick, another man brought a stick, and so on, until they managed to bake their bread (by burning these sticks). There are some insignificant sins which, once they accumulate and one is questioned about them, they lead to his doom.”t
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This is all very interesting. And I'll be sure to be more careful in my own replies. Due to many past fights over misunderstanding the intent of a post, I'm very prone to laughs and smiley faces now to show I'm not angry. I'll try to avoid that here. I'm an ol' married woman and I have no interesting in picking up another man!

Muslim or not, there is some good advice in there for all people, both online and in person. I can't tell you the number of people I've had sending lude propositions and requests, and even being forceful about it, for no other reason than the fact I hadn't already blocked them or told them to go away. I've recently ended a close friendship with somebody I thought I could trust to be nice until they started accusing me of things I didn't do and threatening to call social services to have my son taken away because "he was not receiving medical care", even though he's had all his checkups and vaccines. If you're as paranoid as me, never posting your picture or real name is a good way to make it really hard for the annoying stalkers to chase you into the real world. I've had a few friends that became too careless, and then they had to start being careful because somebody started following them around. Sometimes it seems like the only close friendships you can afford to have is with family, and even then sometimes you're taking a gamble with that.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by glo

A few years ago a young Muslim man owned and ran a halal grocery shop round the corner from our house. I guess he must have been in his early or mid-twenties - at least 10 years my junior.

Although we never used the shop much, we went there to buy Asian food and spices, or sweets for the children. Sometimes I would go with my husband and/or children, other times alone.
I remember him always being very friendly and chatty, and he was probably the first person to tell me a bit about the Muslim lifestyle. Once he had brought some breakfast, which his other had made, and he offered some to me (it was spicy!!

I never felt that our conduct was in any way inappropriate ( and I am very sensitive to men making inappropriate advances!) - but reading this thread and realising how strict Islam is on interaction between men and women, I am not so sure the Muslim community would have approved of us being alone and just chatting amicably together.

After a year or so he sold his shop.
Now he is married with a child. If I am in the park with my children and I see him there with his little boy, he may just acknowledge me with a brief hello, but if he is with his young wife or in male company, he will totally blank me.

To me that is very strange.
If we were aquaintances some years ago, why is it not okay to even just greet each other?

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But not strange for person who grew up in Eastern culture like me.

I guess, when he was with his boy, you really look at him and want to greet him. So he greet you. But when he was with his wife or his male company, you feel bit hesitate to greet him. He knew it, so he totally blank you because actually he felt hesitate to greet you too.

There is difference between acquainted and know each other. I always friendly to my customers, and they are friendly to me too. But I am not dare to regard them as my friends because I never be acquainted 'officially' with them. My customers are just people who know each other with me. Different than those who ever really be acquainted with me, or those who related to my friends.

If I meet my female friend, of my friend's wife/sister, I will greet her first. But if I meet my customer, female or male, I will notice the situation before I decide to greet or pretend don't see her/him.

:)

As in addition, I'd like to add looking at women lustfully is the same as adultery. It's a shame what this world has come to if you think about it. Women need to cover themselves, it's better for all. It's disgusting that parents would let children 8 years of age wear so short shorts, for example. It's almost like they're inviting perverts to rape their children.

It's sad how this world is deteriorating, people used to be much more classy in the 50s and such, I often wonder what happened to change that.
Sigh. Insha'Allah people will learn manners and proper etiquette one day again.

Dressing modestly doesn't magically deter lustful gazes. I should know, I'm not flirty, I don't wear tight-clothing, low-cut shirts or short skirts (or dresses of any kind, I find them very immoral), I don't even wear makeup or do much more with my hair than a simple braid or ponytail, I don't wear flashy jewelry (or much jewelry at all because I have a small child that like dangly things), and I still get a lot of unwanted attention from men. A pervert will be a pervert regardless of how somebody is dressed or acts so long as a nearby person meets the criteria of their fetish. In my case, it's being female.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Abdullah101

As in addition, I'd like to add looking at women lustfully is the same as adultery. It's a shame what this world has come to if you think about it.

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If we see women as pretty dolls, indeed, we would see them with lustful gaze. But if we see them as human like our sisters, we would not see them this way, even we would focus to notice their personality and behavior.

Always remember, women are human like our sisters and our mothers.

I was listening to an islamic lecture and the sheikh mentioned that the eyes are the biggest weakness for men i.e they eyes cause them the most sins and for the women it is the ears because they easily fall for the sweetest words that their hear.

And Allah swa knows best.

Can I add something. There is a difference in being respectful by not looking lustfully or flirting with someone...etc and being rude.

I am not sure about the middle east but here in the U.S If you go into a grocery store,wal-mart.. guess what? All of the cashiers are women, same for most banks,law firms,restaurants..etc. You cannot look off into another direction and be rude to someone.

If someone talks to you,in any setting, you must be respectful...unless it is obvious flirtation or trying to have a conversation so they can lead to the flirting..

As for handshaking..I understand it and personally do not like shaking hands with anyone(male or female) because I don't like germs.. but here hand shaking is a form of respect...Nobody gets "turned on" by shaking hands in a business setting...unless there is something seriously wrong with you.

I wanted to show a brother what I bought the night before (it was a hat, I don't know what it is called, and the only way to describe it is it the style that 'is shaped like Meg's hat from Family Guy', if you're familiar with that show. It is worn during prayer, like a big version of the Yamakal (the hat's the Jewish males wear. I sent him a picture of me wearing it, but havn't heard from him back. Did I offend him by sending a picture of myself like this?

Oh and crimson, you would be surprised what weird things people get turned on, --- and, some people can find sexual desire out of it is they let Satan influence them so.

Before contacting a member of the opposite gender, think. Is it really necessary to say what I want to say? Is it very important? Is something adverse going to happen if it doesn't get said? If not, then it probably doesn't need to be said. Try and say what needs to be said in public, and avoid private contact as far as possible.

Also, it's easy to think, "brother, brother", but remember, the brother is a man, most likely a non-mahram. And vice versa for sisters.

Sometimes it's easy to get relaxed without realising we're doing it.

May Allah help us and guide us, ameen.

I've not read all of it. But thanks.

I've no interest in chatting up women. So Alhamdulillah.

Excellent thread and advice.

It is much appreciated.