× Register Login What's New! Contact us
Interaction between Men and Women on the Internet – Some Guidelines
HeartHijab.com | Hijab Sale
Page 2 of 2 FirstFirst 1 2
Results 21 to 36 of 36
  1. #1
    Array S_87's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Location
    ------
    Gender
    Female
    Religion
    Islam
    Posts
    8,307
    Threads
    106
    Reputation
    58443
    Rep Power
    118

    Thumbs up Interaction between Men and Women on the Internet – Some Guidelines (OP)


    Interaction between Men and Women on the Internet – Some Guidelines
    by: Sheikh Salman al-Oadah

    There are many interactive forums on the Internet, including chat sites and online communities. We need to address the critical question of how Muslim men and women should conduct themselves when they come into contact with one another while participating in these forums.

    The following guidelines should be observed by Muslim men and women when interacting with one another on the Internet:

    1. Never display photographs under any circumstances.

    To start with, photographs are simply not necessary. The written word is more than sufficient. We must also appreciate how photographs can become a great opportunity for Satan to tempt people and make their foul deeds seem fair to them.

    Some people might consider such caution misplaced. However, those who understand how people are seduced and tempted and who have experience in dealing with these problems, know that nothing is far-fetched. Moreover, some people who have a sickness in their hearts manage to deceive themselves and others that something which is completely wrong is instead something that is good and that is motivated by the sincerest and noblest intentions.

    2. Use typing and avoid audible means of communication.

    If, for some reason, using audible media becomes necessary, then we must adhere to Allah's command: “Be not too complaisant of speech, lest one in whose heart is a disease should be moved with desire; but speak a speech that is just.” [ Sûrah al-Ahzâb : 32]

    This verse was revealed concerning the wives of the Prophet (peace be upon him). If this was the case for them, we can appreciate how much more it must apply to us. Moreover, that was during the time of the Prophet (peace be upon him) while we are living in the age of permissiveness and promiscuity.

    3. Maintain a serious tone and focus in conversation.
    We must not get involved in talking at length about things that are unnecessary and unjustified. In truth, many people get a thrill out of merely speaking with the opposite sex, regardless of what the subject might be. Some men just like to hear a pretty voice. Likewise, since women are indeed the full sisters of men, they also find pleasure in speaking with men.

    Our tone should be serious. We should avoid all that is superfluous and frivolous.

    4. Remain vigilant at all times.

    Those who we meet on the Internet are, for the most part, apparitions. Men come online posturing as women and women often misrepresent themselves as men. Then, there are so many things we do not know about the other person. What is his ideology? What is his background? What country is he from? What is his line of work? What are his real intentions? All of these things are unknown.

    I wish to call the attention of our honored sisters to the dangers that experience has shown us to be ever present in these situations. Many young women are quick to believe what others tell them and are very susceptible to sweet words. Such people are easy victims for the predator who lays out his trap. One moment, he is a sincere advisor, another the victim crying out for someone to save him, then he is the lonely man looking for someone with whom to share the rest of his life, the next moment he is the sick man looking for a cure…

    5. Muslim women who work with the Internet should keep in close contact with one another.

    They need to develop strong channels of communication so they can lend a degree of support to each other in this important and possibly dangerous field of endeavor. They need to cooperate closely and share their experiences and expertise. A person standing alone is weak, but standing with others she is strong.

    Allah says: By time! Surely the human being is at loss. Except for those who have faith and do righteous deeds and exhort one another to truth and exhort one another to patience.” [ Sûrah al-`Asr ]

    Abû Mulaykah al-Dârimî narrates: “It was the practice among the Prophet's Companions, that if two of them met, they would not depart from one another without one of them reading Sûrah al-`Asr to the other. Then one of them would greet the other with peace.” [ al-Mu`jam al-Awsat (5120) and Shu`ab al-Îm ân (9057)]

    I also advise our Muslim sisters to focus most of their attention and their efforts on calling other women to Islam and enjoining them to righteousness. They should use this valuable medium to assist and serve their sisters and to reform them. This should be done indirectly, subtly, and with wisdom. Too direct an approach, when giving advice, often causes the other party to become angry, confrontational, and obstinate. This is because the person giving advice comes off as seeming high-handed and arrogant, while the one being advised feels shamed and belittled. Therefore, be gentle in your choice of words, good-natured, attentive, and forbearing. This makes the receiving party more conductive to receiving your advice and less likely to spurn it.


    ok thought this was a good read (showing my serious side )

    source=http://www.islamtoday.net/english/showme_weekly_2004.cfm?cat_id=30&sub_cat_id=695
    3 | Likes Periwinkle18, AsheSkyler, Kiro liked this post

  2. #21
    peacepro's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2009
    Religion
    Unspecified
    Posts
    8
    Threads
    1
    Reputation
    7
    Rep Power
    0
    Likes (Given)
    0
    Likes (Received)
    0

    Re: Interaction between Men and Women on the Internet – Some Guidelines

    Report bad ads?

    “O wives of the Prophet! You are not like any other women. If you keep your duty (to Allaah), then be not soft in speech, lest he in whose heart is a disease (of hypocrisy, or evil desire for adultery) should be moved with desire, but speak in an honourable manner”
    [al-Ahzaab 33:32].

  3. Report bad ads?
  4. #22
    onlyfaith's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Religion
    Unspecified
    Posts
    6
    Threads
    0
    Reputation
    5
    Rep Power
    0
    Likes (Given)
    0
    Likes (Received)
    0

    Re: Interaction between Men and Women on the Internet – Some Guidelines

    Great reminders. An important thread. JazakAllah

  5. #23
    Marina-Aisha's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2011
    Location
    uk
    Gender
    Female
    Religion
    Islam
    Posts
    949
    Threads
    67
    Reputation
    5024
    Rep Power
    42
    Likes (Given)
    260
    Likes (Received)
    387

    Re: Interaction between Men and Women on the Internet – Some Guidelines

    omg i did not know this, couple days a go i posted something it got removed..now i know why thanx
    1 | Likes Salahudeen liked this post

  6. #24
    esperanza's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2011
    Location
    middle east
    Gender
    Female
    Religion
    Islam
    Posts
    140
    Threads
    9
    Reputation
    501
    Rep Power
    40
    Likes (Given)
    0
    Likes (Received)
    47

    Re: Chatting online with the opposite sex?

    thought this would be useful as a warning about ho
    #1
    esperanza
    revert of many years



    Join Date: Aug 2011
    Location: middle east
    Gender: Female Posts: 1,101

    ghosts of the interent


    found this post ,warning girls to be careful talking to men ,on the interent even innocently ,as in time it can easily become more seroius ,epecially if your vulnerable

    thought its suitable to post here



    The Deceptive Ghosts of the Internet
    Thursday 20-10-2011

    In the present age, Allaah The Almighty has enabled us to achieve great development in the ways and means of communication for the exchange of information and ideas, especially through the internet. The creation of internet forums and social networking sites has allowed the internet to enter almost every home. As a result, many virtuous sisters have explored this amazing and wonderful world. Unfortunately, some men take advantage of the heedlessness of some women and exploit their emotions in matters that do not please Allaah The Almighty through forums, chat rooms, instant messaging, and so on.

    It has been observed that women are especially vulnerable to the guiles of men in the virtual world; if a man throws a bait, a woman usually falls for it without much ado. Over a period of time, she discovers that she has become prey to an internet ghost whom she neither knows nor sees, but she finds herself in love with him and feels that she cannot live without him. She wishes to speak with one of these virtual 'ghosts' all the time, whereas in the past, the same woman might have considered talking to an unknown male stranger a grave major sin.
    She might not have expected that one day she would become emotionally attached to a strange man even though she is a virtuous, pure woman. Sometimes, this 'ghost' — or perhaps a better word would be 'wolf' — may be a wicked and evil minded individual who has devilish ways, while the poor sister who is involved in this unfortunate affair may think everything that glitters is gold and be unaware of his real character and inclinations. She may become over-confident or complacent about herself saying that she knows herself and can control herself. When a woman says these words, one should know that she is in great danger.
    It has been observed on internet forums that one of the means of men being able to prey on a woman is to frequently reply to the postings of a certain female member with words of praise, especially if this sister is particularly voluble. There are very few people who are capable of resisting their emotions and preventing their hearts from softening when someone follows the topics of their interest carefully and replies to their posts in a laudatory manner.
    O virtuous sister, beware of this! Do not be deceived by the ghosts of the internet.
    Sometimes, this wicked ghost posts a fabricated problem and embellishes his topic with eye-catching sentences; such as, “I want someone to share my concerns”. Then, he asks this poor girl, who does not know what is being prepared for her, to find a solution for his problem. She occupies herself with the problem and falls into the trap without perceiving this fact. The matter may go further by adding him as a new contact on her messenger. Instead of being a means of acquiring good deeds, the instant messenger program is turned into a means of evil.
    A sister may add a stranger out of curiosity in order to know him better or to know what he wants. Some sisters may add strange men under the pretext that she seeks an innocent friendship and that chatting over the internet is like normal speech. However, chances are that regular chatting may develop further to become severe sins and misdeeds that only Allaah The Almighty knows about.
    Sister! O you who are the one who raises the future generations of Muslim men and women; O you who is a protected pearl; beware of Allaah The Almighty and beware of following the devil’s footsteps! The devil does not directly lead a person to sin; rather, he leads him step by step and then lets him fall into sin. Moreover, he may induce the person to justify and rationalize the sin. Beware of minor sins as the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said: “Beware of minor sins, their example is like a people who camped at the foot of a valley, and one man brought a stick, another man brought a stick, and so on, until they managed to bake their bread (by burning these sticks). There are some insignificant sins which, once they accumulate and one is questioned about them, they lead to his doom.”t

  7. Report bad ads?
  8. #25
    AsheSkyler's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Location
    USA
    Gender
    Female
    Religion
    Taoist
    Posts
    30
    Threads
    2
    Reputation
    6
    Rep Power
    28
    Likes (Given)
    28
    Likes (Received)
    6

    Re: Interaction between Men and Women on the Internet – Some Guidelines

    This is all very interesting. And I'll be sure to be more careful in my own replies. Due to many past fights over misunderstanding the intent of a post, I'm very prone to laughs and smiley faces now to show I'm not angry. I'll try to avoid that here. I'm an ol' married woman and I have no interesting in picking up another man!

    Muslim or not, there is some good advice in there for all people, both online and in person. I can't tell you the number of people I've had sending lude propositions and requests, and even being forceful about it, for no other reason than the fact I hadn't already blocked them or told them to go away. I've recently ended a close friendship with somebody I thought I could trust to be nice until they started accusing me of things I didn't do and threatening to call social services to have my son taken away because "he was not receiving medical care", even though he's had all his checkups and vaccines. If you're as paranoid as me, never posting your picture or real name is a good way to make it really hard for the annoying stalkers to chase you into the real world. I've had a few friends that became too careless, and then they had to start being careful because somebody started following them around. Sometimes it seems like the only close friendships you can afford to have is with family, and even then sometimes you're taking a gamble with that.

  9. #26
    ardianto's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Location
    Indonesia
    Gender
    Male
    Religion
    Islam
    Posts
    8,361
    Threads
    152
    Reputation
    50601
    Rep Power
    91
    Likes (Given)
    2769
    Likes (Received)
    4657

    Re: Interaction between Men and Women on the Internet – Some Guidelines

    Quote Originally Posted by glo View Post
    A few years ago a young Muslim man owned and ran a halal grocery shop round the corner from our house. I guess he must have been in his early or mid-twenties - at least 10 years my junior.

    Although we never used the shop much, we went there to buy Asian food and spices, or sweets for the children. Sometimes I would go with my husband and/or children, other times alone.
    I remember him always being very friendly and chatty, and he was probably the first person to tell me a bit about the Muslim lifestyle. Once he had brought some breakfast, which his other had made, and he offered some to me (it was spicy!!

    I never felt that our conduct was in any way inappropriate ( and I am very sensitive to men making inappropriate advances!) - but reading this thread and realising how strict Islam is on interaction between men and women, I am not so sure the Muslim community would have approved of us being alone and just chatting amicably together.

    After a year or so he sold his shop.
    Now he is married with a child. If I am in the park with my children and I see him there with his little boy, he may just acknowledge me with a brief hello, but if he is with his young wife or in male company, he will totally blank me.

    To me that is very strange.
    If we were aquaintances some years ago, why is it not okay to even just greet each other?
    But not strange for person who grew up in Eastern culture like me.

    I guess, when he was with his boy, you really look at him and want to greet him. So he greet you. But when he was with his wife or his male company, you feel bit hesitate to greet him. He knew it, so he totally blank you because actually he felt hesitate to greet you too.

    There is difference between acquainted and know each other. I always friendly to my customers, and they are friendly to me too. But I am not dare to regard them as my friends because I never be acquainted 'officially' with them. My customers are just people who know each other with me. Different than those who ever really be acquainted with me, or those who related to my friends.

    If I meet my female friend, of my friend's wife/sister, I will greet her first. But if I meet my customer, female or male, I will notice the situation before I decide to greet or pretend don't see her/him.


  10. #27
    Abdullah101's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2013
    Location
    Richmond, Virginia
    Gender
    Male
    Religion
    Atheism
    Posts
    40
    Threads
    9
    Reputation
    286
    Rep Power
    28
    Likes (Given)
    0
    Likes (Received)
    10

    Re: Interaction between Men and Women on the Internet – Some Guidelines

    As in addition, I'd like to add looking at women lustfully is the same as adultery. It's a shame what this world has come to if you think about it. Women need to cover themselves, it's better for all. It's disgusting that parents would let children 8 years of age wear so short shorts, for example. It's almost like they're inviting perverts to rape their children.

    It's sad how this world is deteriorating, people used to be much more classy in the 50s and such, I often wonder what happened to change that.
    Sigh. Insha'Allah people will learn manners and proper etiquette one day again.

  11. #28
    AsheSkyler's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Location
    USA
    Gender
    Female
    Religion
    Taoist
    Posts
    30
    Threads
    2
    Reputation
    6
    Rep Power
    28
    Likes (Given)
    28
    Likes (Received)
    6

    Re: Interaction between Men and Women on the Internet – Some Guidelines

    Dressing modestly doesn't magically deter lustful gazes. I should know, I'm not flirty, I don't wear tight-clothing, low-cut shirts or short skirts (or dresses of any kind, I find them very immoral), I don't even wear makeup or do much more with my hair than a simple braid or ponytail, I don't wear flashy jewelry (or much jewelry at all because I have a small child that like dangly things), and I still get a lot of unwanted attention from men. A pervert will be a pervert regardless of how somebody is dressed or acts so long as a nearby person meets the criteria of their fetish. In my case, it's being female.

  12. #29
    ardianto's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Location
    Indonesia
    Gender
    Male
    Religion
    Islam
    Posts
    8,361
    Threads
    152
    Reputation
    50601
    Rep Power
    91
    Likes (Given)
    2769
    Likes (Received)
    4657

    Re: Interaction between Men and Women on the Internet – Some Guidelines

    Quote Originally Posted by Abdullah101 View Post
    As in addition, I'd like to add looking at women lustfully is the same as adultery. It's a shame what this world has come to if you think about it.
    If we see women as pretty dolls, indeed, we would see them with lustful gaze. But if we see them as human like our sisters, we would not see them this way, even we would focus to notice their personality and behavior.

    Always remember, women are human like our sisters and our mothers.
    3 | Likes Aprender, AsheSkyler, BeTheChange liked this post

  13. Report bad ads?
  14. #30
    BeTheChange's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Gender
    Female
    Religion
    Islam
    Posts
    1,723
    Threads
    114
    Reputation
    12334
    Rep Power
    34
    Likes (Given)
    3138
    Likes (Received)
    1474

    Re: Interaction between Men and Women on the Internet – Some Guidelines

    I was listening to an islamic lecture and the sheikh mentioned that the eyes are the biggest weakness for men i.e they eyes cause them the most sins and for the women it is the ears because they easily fall for the sweetest words that their hear.

    And Allah swa knows best.

  15. #31
    crimsontide06's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Location
    United States
    Gender
    Male
    Religion
    Islam
    Posts
    729
    Threads
    57
    Reputation
    3603
    Rep Power
    41
    Likes (Given)
    115
    Likes (Received)
    279

    Re: Interaction between Men and Women on the Internet – Some Guidelines

    Can I add something. There is a difference in being respectful by not looking lustfully or flirting with someone...etc and being rude.

    I am not sure about the middle east but here in the U.S If you go into a grocery store,wal-mart.. guess what? All of the cashiers are women, same for most banks,law firms,restaurants..etc. You cannot look off into another direction and be rude to someone.

    If someone talks to you,in any setting, you must be respectful...unless it is obvious flirtation or trying to have a conversation so they can lead to the flirting..

    As for handshaking..I understand it and personally do not like shaking hands with anyone(male or female) because I don't like germs.. but here hand shaking is a form of respect...Nobody gets "turned on" by shaking hands in a business setting...unless there is something seriously wrong with you.
    1 | Likes Aprender liked this post

  16. #32
    duraldo's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2014
    Location
    Dallas
    Gender
    Male
    Religion
    Islam
    Posts
    23
    Threads
    6
    Reputation
    435
    Rep Power
    26
    Likes (Given)
    0
    Likes (Received)
    0
    I wanted to show a brother what I bought the night before (it was a hat, I don't know what it is called, and the only way to describe it is it the style that 'is shaped like Meg's hat from Family Guy', if you're familiar with that show. It is worn during prayer, like a big version of the Yamakal (the hat's the Jewish males wear. I sent him a picture of me wearing it, but havn't heard from him back. Did I offend him by sending a picture of myself like this?

    Oh and crimson, you would be surprised what weird things people get turned on, --- and, some people can find sexual desire out of it is they let Satan influence them so.

  17. #33
    Insaanah's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Gender
    Female
    Religion
    Islam
    Posts
    4,449
    Threads
    173
    Reputation
    152324
    Rep Power
    133
    Likes (Given)
    1148
    Likes (Received)
    3304

    Re: Interaction between Men and Women on the Internet – Some Guidelines

    Before contacting a member of the opposite gender, think. Is it really necessary to say what I want to say? Is it very important? Is something adverse going to happen if it doesn't get said? If not, then it probably doesn't need to be said. Try and say what needs to be said in public, and avoid private contact as far as possible.

    Also, it's easy to think, "brother, brother", but remember, the brother is a man, most likely a non-mahram. And vice versa for sisters.

    Sometimes it's easy to get relaxed without realising we're doing it.

    May Allah help us and guide us, ameen.
    2 | Likes Jewel, Abz2000 liked this post
    Interaction between Men and Women on the Internet – Some Guidelines


    Stunningly beautiful adhaan from the Dome of the Rock in Masjid ul Aqsa
    Download (right click and choose "save target/link as").


    This is a clear message for mankind in order that they may be warned thereby, and that they may know that He is only One God, and that those of understanding may take heed (14:52)


    Indeed Allah knows, and you know not (16: 74, part)

  18. #34
    Kiro's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2015
    Location
    Where I wander.
    Gender
    Male
    Religion
    Islam
    Posts
    1,276
    Threads
    84
    Reputation
    4355
    Rep Power
    19
    Likes (Given)
    897
    Likes (Received)
    718

    Re: Interaction between Men and Women on the Internet – Some Guidelines

    I've not read all of it. But thanks.

  19. Report bad ads?
  20. #35
    Serinity's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2016
    Location
    Earth
    Gender
    Male
    Religion
    Islam
    Posts
    2,840
    Threads
    71
    Reputation
    10804
    Rep Power
    21
    Likes (Given)
    1153
    Likes (Received)
    2276

    Re: Interaction between Men and Women on the Internet – Some Guidelines

    I've no interest in chatting up women. So Alhamdulillah.

  21. #36
    Indefinable's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2016
    Gender
    Female
    Religion
    Islam
    Posts
    171
    Threads
    4
    Reputation
    587
    Rep Power
    10
    Likes (Given)
    39
    Likes (Received)
    133

    Re: Interaction between Men and Women on the Internet – Some Guidelines

    Excellent thread and advice.

    It is much appreciated.

  22. Hide
Page 2 of 2 FirstFirst 1 2
Hey there! Interaction between Men and Women on the Internet – Some Guidelines Looks like you're enjoying the discussion, but you're not signed up for an account.

When you create an account, we remember exactly what you've read, so you always come right back where you left off. You also get notifications, here and via email, whenever new posts are made. And you can like posts and share your thoughts. Interaction between Men and Women on the Internet – Some Guidelines
Sign Up

Similar Threads

  1. what should be avoided in interaction?
    By koumen in forum Discover Islam
    Replies: 12
    Last Post: 05-02-2009, 05:05 AM
  2. internet guidelines
    By sadik in forum General
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 03-16-2006, 01:17 PM
  3. *General Guidelines For Internet Users*
    By DaSangarTalib in forum General
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 12-19-2005, 12:08 AM
  4. Correct Interaction?, PLEASE HELP!
    By Ummu Amatullah in forum Advice & Support
    Replies: 14
    Last Post: 09-24-2005, 05:59 PM
  5. Advice Concerning The Internet & Internet Forums
    By panIslamist in forum General
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 07-12-2005, 05:25 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
create