Differences of opinion between husband and wife concerning matters where the scholars differed
Praise be to Allaah.
What the wife must do is obey her husband, unless that involves sin or will harm her or deprive her of her rights, in which case she should not obey him.
With regard to matters concerning which the scholars differ, and the wife holds a view other than that of her husband, and he tells her to do something contrary to that which she believes is more correct, the answer varies according to the issue in question.
1 – If it has to do with a particular ruling or manner with regard to her worship – whether it is obligatory or naafil – and that does not affect the rights of the husband, and her doing it does not result in any mistreatment towards him, then she does not have to do that which she is not convinced of, if her husband tells her to do it.
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2 – If the issue has to do with naafil acts of worship and obedience that affect his rights, then it is not permissible for her to do them, rather she is forbidden to do them, as is the case with observing naafil fasts without his permission, or going out of the house to uphold ties of kinship or make permissible visits without his permission, because by doing that she is denying him his rights, and she is not sinning by not doing (the naafil action), rather she will be rewarded for obeying her Lord by giving her husband his rights and refraining from doing it for his sake.
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3 – With regard to everything that is permissible for her, he has the right to prevent her from doing it or make her follow his opinion if he thinks it is haraam, and she must accept that if her doing it will cause harm to her husband and expose him to humiliation or disrespect. For example, covering the face is an issue concerning which the scholars differed, but there is no one who says that it is haraam to cover the face. If she thinks that it is acceptable to uncover the face, he has the right to prevent her from showing it before non-mahrams, and he has the right to make her follow his opinion, which is that it is obligatory to cover the face – which is the more correct view – and she does not have the right to go against him. She will be rewarded for doing that if she seeks reward for obeying her Lord by obeying her husband and does that which is more concealing.
4 – Whatever the wife thinks is obligatory, haraam or bid’ah (innovation), she does not have to obey the husband by refraining from what is obligatory or by doing that which is haraam or bid’ah.
We have mentioned above an example of something that is obligatory, namely zakaah on gold. An example of something that the wife thinks is haraam and that the husband thinks is permissible is covering the face – the opposite of the scenario mentioned above. If she thinks that it is haraam to uncover her face in front of non-mahram men, her husband does not have the right to tell her to uncover it on the basis that he thinks it is permissible for her to uncover her face.
Differences of opinion between husband and wife concerning matters where the scholars differed
Praise be to Allaah.
What the wife must do is obey her husband, unless that involves sin or will harm her or deprive her of her rights, in which case she should not obey him.
With regard to matters concerning which the scholars differ, and the wife holds a view other than that of her husband, and he tells her to do something contrary to that which she believes is more correct, the answer varies according to the issue in question.
1 – If it has to do with a particular ruling or manner with regard to her worship – whether it is obligatory or naafil – and that does not affect the rights of the husband, and her doing it does not result in any mistreatment towards him, then she does not have to do that which she is not convinced of, if her husband tells her to do it.
[... ]
2 – If the issue has to do with naafil acts of worship and obedience that affect his rights, then it is not permissible for her to do them, rather she is forbidden to do them, as is the case with observing naafil fasts without his permission, or going out of the house to uphold ties of kinship or make permissible visits without his permission, because by doing that she is denying him his rights, and she is not sinning by not doing (the naafil action), rather she will be rewarded for obeying her Lord by giving her husband his rights and refraining from doing it for his sake.
[... ]
3 – With regard to everything that is permissible for her, he has the right to prevent her from doing it or make her follow his opinion if he thinks it is haraam, and she must accept that if her doing it will cause harm to her husband and expose him to humiliation or disrespect. For example, covering the face is an issue concerning which the scholars differed, but there is no one who says that it is haraam to cover the face. If she thinks that it is acceptable to uncover the face, he has the right to prevent her from showing it before non-mahrams, and he has the right to make her follow his opinion, which is that it is obligatory to cover the face – which is the more correct view – and she does not have the right to go against him. She will be rewarded for doing that if she seeks reward for obeying her Lord by obeying her husband and does that which is more concealing.
4 – Whatever the wife thinks is obligatory, haraam or bid’ah (innovation), she does not have to obey the husband by refraining from what is obligatory or by doing that which is haraam or bid’ah.
We have mentioned above an example of something that is obligatory, namely zakaah on gold. An example of something that the wife thinks is haraam and that the husband thinks is permissible is covering the face – the opposite of the scenario mentioned above. If she thinks that it is haraam to uncover her face in front of non-mahram men, her husband does not have the right to tell her to uncover it on the basis that he thinks it is permissible for her to uncover her face.
This is great for the new generation of young girls, if and only if, Allah guides them to noor wish to become a good saleh women will take this to heart. My Allah guide the new generation of women to light, ameen.
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