Why can’t a Muslim woman marry a non-Muslim man?

Why can’t a Muslim woman marry a non-Muslim man?

Written By: Shiekh Jasem Al- Mutawa'

More than 500 women attended the Swiss Muslim woman conference in Newchatle, Switzerland. The conference addressed some very interesting lectures, one of which was called “understanding psychologies”, another one called “ how did prophet Mohamed Salla Allah Allih Wa Salam handle his marital problems”.

And the conference was concluded with “Round Table”, a special session for discussing the problems facing Muslim families in Switzerland, France, and Italy. Among the attendances, there were Muslim women of Arabic origin, European origin, and new converts.

The conference management was remarkably excellent. A special hall was dedicated to the women who have babies with them. And there were three special places for day care.

The conference duration was just one day, but it was better than a hundred days with its distinctive programs and events. What I noticed most was that, the new the converts, and those who are still thinking about converting to Islam, were facing difficulties in solving their social problems.

One of them said: “I want to convert to Islam, but I don’t want to wear hijab”.

A second one said: “you are talking about raising kids in Islam, and I’m a new convert, I don’t have the knowledge, or the ability to raise my kids in an Islamic way...so what do I do?”

A third one said: “why is it permissible for a Muslim man to marry a Christian or a Jewish woman, and in the same time, it is forbidden that a Muslim woman marries an infidel?”

A forth one said: “my husband is a political refugee, and we are so busy with our financial problems, we don’t have enough time to raise our kids in the proper way”.

After that we started discussing these problems through lectures, and side discussions. In this article, I discuss only one issue, that is, why doesn’t Islam treat man, and woman evenly? Islam forbids a Muslim woman from marrying a non-Muslim man, and allows a Muslim man to marry a Christian or a Jewish woman.

During the conversation, I started by explaining that the main principle in Islam is the equality in belief between the husband and his wife. This equality and consistency help in making their marriage successful.

Allowing a Muslim man to marry a Christian or a Jewish woman, is an exceptional rule applied under special circumstances. And when a Muslim man marries a Christian or a Jewish woman, there is no problem, because he believes in all prophets, and all holy books. There will be no problem between him and his wife in this matter, especially that his religion -Islam- commands him to be fair with his wife even if she were Christian or Jewish. And any Muslim man going through such marriage should have strong belief in his faith, and should strongly abide by his religion.

The reason for forbidding a Muslim woman from marrying a non-Muslim, is that a Christian or a Jewish man believes only in his prophet, and doesn’t believe in prophet Mohamed Salla Allah Allih Wa Salam or any of the other prophets (blessing be upon them).

For example, when this Muslim woman, tries to teach her kids to love and respect all prophets and believe in all of them, her non-Muslim husband will not agree, because he believes only in his prophet. He will interfere in the way she raises her kids, and prevents her from raising them in an Islamic way. And here comes the real problem, because she will have only two options, whether she leaves the whole thing as it is, and does nothing about it -which will be an insult to her religion- or she argues about the matter, and this will sure lead to more marital problems.

On the other hand, there will be no such problems between a Muslim husband, and a non Muslim wife, because if this wife tried to teach her kids to love and believe in her prophet, her Muslim husband will not refuse that because he already believes in her prophet and all prophets. This is why Islam allows the marriage between Muslim man and non-Muslim woman, and forbids the marriage between Muslim woman, and non-Muslim man. Because Islam respects the marital relationship and wants to guarantee its stability, not because it respects men, and disrespects women …

Discussing these issues with the westerners is so important, so that they get to know Islam better, and understand the logic behind social rules, and issues.

One of the nice stories mentioned in the conference, was a story of a Muslim girl when her school was celebrating Christmas. She was blamed for not celebrating her prophet’s birthday as they do. Allah Subhana Wa Ta'ala inspired her with a very smart answer. She said to her teachers and her friends, “you believe only in one prophet, but we Muslims, respect and believe in all prophets. If we tried to celebrate all the prophets’ birthdays then everyday of the year would be a feast for us.” They were all astounded by her brilliant answer.

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