Can a girl get married without parents permission??? (OP)
The topic "Can a girl get married without parents permission" is quite serious now in the western society.
A girl came to me and said, my parents disagree with the guy i chose because of his looks, i like him a lot and vice versa. so im going to go and make someone else my guardian and go forward with this.
i gave her the hanifi point of view. i was just wondering if someone would explain the view point of imam shafi. i am studying comparitive fiqh but wud appreciate it if i cud hear from someone who already knows.
it's not right for a muslim to take the shari'ah into their own hands and start judging people for Allah is the one who passes judgement. And should therefore only post what is related to the original post being: CAN A GIRL GET MARRIED WITHOUT HER PARENTS PERMISSION??
Re: Can a girl get married without parents permission???
As apparent from the following narrations, if they are truely from the prophet (pbuh), a marriage by a girl without the permission of her wali will be void; and as a result, the girl and her so-called husband will be committing adultery.
Narrations:
Prophet (saaw) said: “Any woman who marries without the permission of her walee, her marriage is invalid, her marriage is invalid, her marriage is invalid.” [Reported by Tirmidhi, 1021 – Saheeh]
“There is no marriage contract except with a walee and two witnesses.” [Reported by at Tabaraani]
“No woman may conduct the marriage contract of another woman, and no woman can conduct the marriage contract on behalf of her own self, because the zaaniyah (fornicatress, adulteress) is the one who arranges things on her own behalf.” [Reported by Ibn Maajah, 1782]
can u get married to someone even though your parents dont approve of the marriage, i no that islamically your father should approve the marriage, but wot if he does not allow you to marry someone else because he'd rather you marry one of his relatives. What if you meet some1 who is better suited for you, some1 who is stronger in faith and would be a better husband, but your father does not allow you to marry him because he'd rather you marry his relative.
would you be allowed to marry without your fathers approval?
can u get married to someone even though your parents dont approve of the marriage, i no that islamically your father should approve the marriage, but wot if he does not allow you to marry someone else because he'd rather you marry one of his relatives. What if you meet some1 who is better suited for you, some1 who is stronger in faith and would be a better husband, but your father does not allow you to marry him because he'd rather you marry his relative.
would you be allowed to marry without your fathers approval?
assalaamu alaykum,
yes... but it is a little more complicated.
basically in a muslim country if your father refused a brother of good character and deen then his right of being wali could be taken away by the qadi (islamic judge) but there are no islamic judges in the uk so what do you do?
you need to find a local imam or alim who is willing to act on this matter, he will then need to speak to the sister in question who needs to make the complaint about her father being unreasonable and then talk to the father. it is the sisters responsibility to make the complaint not the suitor.
normally what happens is the father is called into the masjid or called on the phone if refuses to meet and asked why he refuses the brother, if reasons are not good enough or the sisters complaint is strong enough then the imam can remove the responsibility of being wali from the father, then it passes to another close male relative, i believe grandfather first and then up the line and then to brothers but check with someone else on that exact order.
if those people refuse to take over the responsibility or are equally jahil (cultural ignorant muslims) then the imam himself should act as wali or appoint someone else to the position who is practicing and trustworthy.
what usually happens is the imam tells the father to come talk, it is explained to him he doesnt have a leg to stand on and that he will be humiliated when all this gets out so best just to back down and let the couple marry, a friend who is a student of knowledge said 95% of cases he has heard of usually the father backs down and in every case i have heard of where the sister was looking at going to an imam to ask for her father to be removed as wali then the father backs down and lets them marry before it comes to that.
now that is the sisters right and the imams responsibility... now we hit the problem. almost every imam i know is either ignorant of this or refuses to help and perform their responsibility as community leader so sisters are left with no option but to keep searching often even outside their city until they find an imam with big enough nuts and enough knowledge to do their job properly.
I seek refuge in Allah (The One God) from the Satan (devil) the cursed, the rejected
With the name of ALLAH (swt) -The Bestower Of Unlimited Mercy, The Continously Merciful
Assalamu Alaikum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakatuh (May the peace, mercy and blessings of Allah be upon you)
&&&
format_quote Originally Posted by Star
....would you be allowed to marry without your fathers approval?
sis , ur father must not force u to marry anyone u don't like , neither u should marry without his permission. Pl. take time , ask help from Allah .
talk to local Imam / relatives ....they may make ur father understand that a daughter must not be forced in to marriage.
During the time of the last Prophet (p) , a dauther complained to him that her father forced her in to marriage & she now wants to end her married life. Prophet gave her permission , then the girl said , ok , i won't do that . I just want to show all that no one should forced women to get married.
Offer Istekhara prayer to take a decision.
Last edited by Muslim Woman; 06-01-2007 at 01:50 AM.
Christ will never be proud to reject to be a slave to God .....holy Quran, chapter Women , 4: 172
why don't you just get married anyway, if your father is obviously biased and wants you to marry someone of his choosing rather than yours, and no one else seems to care (brother, grandpa, imam), then just take matters into your own hands and marry the guy.
In the end it is Allah who judges your actions, and do not forget that Allah is merciful and understanding.
why don't you just get married anyway, if your father is obviously biased and wants you to marry someone of his choosing rather than yours, and no one else seems to care (brother, grandpa, imam), then just take matters into your own hands and marry the guy.
In the end it is Allah who judges your actions, and do not forget that Allah is merciful and understanding.
pl bro , don't give such advice to anybody . Our parents sacrifised so much for us.....they deserve our respect. Just becasue the sis is having trouble with dad right now , it does not mean that she will hurt them by marrying secretly.
Regarding a hadith , a daughter must have her parent in marriage ceremony. Dad is supposed to be her guardian in her weddeing process.
Also , we need our parents blessing in our life. Why so hurry for marriage....she should take time. Insha Allah everything will bo fine soon.
Christ will never be proud to reject to be a slave to God .....holy Quran, chapter Women , 4: 172
Should he get married without his father’s approval?
Question:
Is it permissible for a man to get married to a woman whose religious commitment and character he admires, even though his parents do not approve?.
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
A son is not doing wrong if he chooses a woman who is religiously committed and of good character, for this is the advice of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) with regard to marriage. It was narrated from Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “A woman may be married for four things: her wealth, her lineage, her beauty or her religious commitment. Choose the one who is religiously committed, may your hands be rubbed with dust [i.e., may you prosper]!”
(Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 4802; Muslim, 1466)
There follows some advice for you and your father from Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen, that has to do with your situation.
The Shaykh (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:
The question leads us to offer you two points of advice. The first point is addressed to your father, if he insists on not allowing you to marry this woman whom you describe as being of good character and religiously-committed. What he should do is to give you permission to marry her, unless he has a legitimate shar’i reason that he knows and can explain to you so that you will be convinced and your mind will be put at rest. He should weigh up this matter himself: if his father had refused to let him marry a woman whose religious commitment and character he admired, would he not have thought that this was wrong and a suppression of his freedom? If he would not like his father to do this to him, then how can he let himself do the same to his son? The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “None of you truly believes until he loves for his brother what he loves for himself.”
It is not permissible for your father to prevent you marrying this woman for no legitimate shar’i reason. If there is a legitimate shar’i reason then he should explain it to you so that you will understand.
With regard to the advice which we give you, we say that if you can forget about this woman and marry another, thus pleasing your father and avoiding a split (between you and your father), then do that.
If you cannot do that, because you are emotionally attached to her and you are also afraid that if you propose marriage to another woman that your father may also prevent you from marrying her – because some people may have envy or jealousy in their hearts even towards their children, so they do not let them have what they want – I say that if this is the case and you cannot be patient and forget about this woman to whom you feel emotionally attached, then there is no sin on you if you marry her, even if your father objects. Perhaps after you get married he will become convinced and the feelings in his heart will go away. We ask Allaah to enable you to do that which is in the interests of both.
Question:
What exactly constitutes a guardian, as is needed in the nikkah ceremony. I am a female Muslim, and I want to know if my older brother is acceptable for this role.
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
There are three pillars or conditions for the marriage contract in Islam:
Both parties should be free of any obstacles that might prevent the marriage from being valid, such as their being mahrams of one another (i.e., close relatives who are permanently forbidden to marry), whether this relationship is through blood ties or through breastfeeding (radaa’) etc., or where the man is a kaafir (non-Muslim) and the woman is a Muslim, and so on.
There should be an offer or proposal (eejaab) from the walee or the person who is acting in his place, who should say to the groom “I marry so-and-so to you” or similar words.
There should be an expression of acceptance (qabool) on the part of the groom or whoever is acting in his place, who should say, “I accept,” or similar words.
The conditions of a proper nikaah (marriage contract) are as follows:
Both the bride and groom should be clearly identified, whether by stating their names or describing them, etc.
Both the bride and groom should be pleased with one another, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “No previously-married woman (widow or divorcee) may be married until she has been asked about her wishes (i.e., she should state clearly her wishes), and no virgin should be married until her permission has been asked (i.e., until she has agreed either in words or by remaining silent).” They asked, “O Messenger of Allaah, how is her permission given (because she will feel very shy)?” He said: “By her silence.” (Reported by al-Bukhaari, 4741)
The one who does the contract on the woman’s behalf should be her walee, as Allaah addressed the walees with regard to marriage (interpretation of the meaning): “And marry those among you who are single…” [al-Noor 24:32] and because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Any woman who marries without the permission of her walee, her marriage is invalid, her marriage is invalid, her marriage is invalid.” (Reported by al-Tirmidhi, 1021 and others; it is a saheeh hadeeth)
The marriage contract must be witnessed, as the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “There is no marriage contract except with a walee and two witnesses.” (Reported by al-Tabaraani; see also Saheeh al-Jaami’, 7558)
It is also important that the marriage be announced, as the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Announce marriages.” (Reported by Imaam Ahmad; classed as hasan in Saheeh al-Jaami’, 1027)
The conditions of the walee are as follows:
He should be of sound mind
He should be an adult
He should be free (not a slave)
He should be of the same religion as the bride. A kaafir cannot be the walee of a Muslim, male or female, and a Muslim cannot be the walee of a kaafir, male or female, but a kaafir can be the walee of a kaafir woman for marriage purposes, even if they are of different religions. An apostate (one who has left Islam) cannot be a walee for anybody.
He should be of good character (‘adaalah – includes piety, attitude, conduct, etc.), as opposed to being corrupt. This is a condition laid down by some scholars, although some of them regard the outward appearance of good character as being sufficient, and some say that it is enough if he is judged as being able to pay proper attention to the interests of the woman for whom he is acting as walee in the matter of her marriage.
He should be male, as the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “No woman may conduct the marriage contract of another woman, and no woman can conduct the marriage contract on behalf of her own self, because the zaaniyah (fornicatress, adulteress) is the one who arranges things on her own behalf.” (Reported by Ibn Maajah, 1782; see also Saheeh al-Jaami’, 7298)
He should be wise and mature (rushd), which means being able to understand matters of compatibility and the interests of marriage.
The fuqahaa’ put possible walees in a certain order, and a walee who is more closely-related should not be ignored unless there is no such person or the relatives do not meet the specified conditions. A woman’s walee is her father, then whoever her father may have appointed before his death, then her paternal grandfather or great-grandfather, then her son, then her grandfathers sons or grandsons, then her brother through both parents (full brother), then her brother through her father, then the sons of her brother through both parents, then the sons of her brother through her father, then her uncle (her father’s brother through both parents), then her father’s brother through the father, then the sons of her father’s brother though both parents, then the sons of her father’s brother through the father, then whoever is more closely related, and so on – as is the case with inheritance. The Muslim leader (or his deputy, such as a qaadi or judge) is the walee for any woman who does not have a walee of her own.
Question:
I am in a foreign land and married a Christian girl who is also a foreigner in that country. Both of us do not have any relatives or friends or contacts in that country. I proposed to her and she accepted so I read the marriage statements and she accepted and than I read the marriage statement for my acceptance. I forgot the Mehr in statement but later paid some amount to her. There was no guardian for her as she is adult and independent and we could not arrange any witness. Question is:
1. Whether this is a valid religious marriage and is it not sin in Islam as we do not care for the social or legal aspect because we are foreigners. In other word we married keeping in view our God and do not want to be punished by God on day of judgment. (We lived like man & wife for some days).
2. As I was not sure about religious aspect of this marriage, we mutually decided that I should divorce her, and I did. Is it OK?
3. Do I need to marry her again if our marriage was not OK, in front of witnesses and any Guardian / Wali to relieve myself of any sin.
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
Firstly:
It is not permissible for a man to marry a woman without the permission of her guardian, whether she is a virgin or previously-married. This is the view of the majority of scholars, including al-Shaafa’i, Maalik and Ahmad. This is based on evidence which includes the following:
The verses in which Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“do not prevent them from marrying their (former) husbands”
[al-Baqarah 2:232]
“And do not marry Al-Mushrikaat (idolatresses) till they believe (worship Allaah Alone)”
[al-Baqarah 2:221]
“and marry those among you who are single”
[al-Noor 24:32]
The point here is that these verses clearly stipulate that there be a guardian in marriage, because Allaah is addressing the guardian with regard to the marriage of the woman under his care. If the matter were up to her and not him, there would be no need to address him.
It is indicative of Imam al-Bukhaari’s deep understanding of issues of sharee’ah that he quoted these verses in a chapter which he entitled “Baab man qaala la nikaaha illa bi wali (Chapter on those who say that there is no marriage without a guardian).”
It was narrated that Abu Moosa said: The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “There is no marriage without a guardian.”
(Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 1101; Abu Dawood, 2085; Ibn Maajah, 1881. Classed as saheeh by Shaykh al-Albaani (may Allaah have mercy on him) in Saheeh al-Tirmidhi, 1/318)
It was narrated that ‘Aa’ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her) said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: Any woman who gets married without the permission of her guardian, her marriage is invalid, her marriage is invalid, her marriage is invalid. But if the marriage is consummated then the mahr is hers because she has allowed him to be intimate with her. If they dispute, then the ruler is the guardian of the one who has no guardian.”
(Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 1102; Abu Dawood, 2083; Ibn Maajah, 1879. Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Irwa’ al-Ghaleel, 1840)
Secondly: If her guardian prevents her from marrying the person she wants for no valid reason according to sharee’ah, then the role of guardian passes to the next closest relative, so it passes from the father to the grandfather, for example.
Thirdly: if all of her guardians prevent her from getting married for no valid reason according to sharee’ah, then the ruler is her guardian, because of the hadeeth quoted above (“…If they dispute, then the ruler is the guardian of the one who has no guardian”)
Fourthly: if there is no guardian and no ruler, then her marriage is to be arranged by a man who has authority in the place where she is, such as the head of a village, or the governor of a province, and so on. If there is no such person, then she should appoint a trustworthy Muslim man to arrange her marriage.
Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:
If there is no relative who can act as her guardian, then the position of guardian passes to the one who is most fit among those who have any kind of authority in matters other than marriage, such as the head of a village, the leader of a caravan, and so on.
Al-Ikhtiyaaraat, p. 350.
Ibn Qudaamah said: If a woman does not have a guardian and there is no ruler, then there was narrated from Ahmad that which indicates that her marriage should be arranged by a man of sound character, with her permission.
Al-Mughni, 9/362.
Shaykh ‘Umar al-Ashqar said:
If there is no ruler of the Muslims, or if the woman is in a place where the Muslims have no ruler, and she has no guardian at all, like the Muslims in America and elsewhere, if there are Islamic institutions in that country that take care of the Muslims’ affairs, then they should arrange her marriage. The same applies if the Muslims have a leader who is in charge or someone who is responsible for their affairs.
Al-Waadih fi Sharh Qanoon al-Ahwaal al-Shakhsiyyah al-Urduni, p. 70
The marriage contract must be witnessed by two adult male Muslims of sound mind. See question no. 2127.
Hence you have to repeat your marriage contract, and it is essential that the woman’s guardian be present, as stated above, as well as two witnesses.
pl bro , don't give such advice to anybody . Our parents sacrifised so much for us.....they deserve our respect. Just becasue the sis is having trouble with dad right now , it does not mean that she will hurt them by marrying secretly.
Regarding a hadith , a daughter must have her parent in marriage ceremony. Dad is supposed to be her guardian in her weddeing process.
Also , we need our parents blessing in our life. Why so hurry for marriage....she should take time. Insha Allah everything will bo fine soon.
Well I know that as muslims we should adhere to what our parents tell us to do, unless what they request us to do someting unislamic. Last time I checked, forced marriages are unislamic.
I was listening to shiekh Abdullah Faisal he said if parents refuse because of is race you can still marry without permission. Is this also false?
yes and no...
according to most scholars of the hanafi madhab then yes you can, but the opinion is weak and in direct contradiction to sahih ahaddith so the scholars of the other madhabs and even some hanafi scholars dont follow this opinion.
the stronger opinion is that you cannot marry without the WALI'S permission, the wali doesnt need to be the father and as anyone can be removed from a trust by the imam (meaning leader) then the father can be removed as wali and other put in their place IF he abuses his position.
if that happens then the qadi in a muslim country or local sheikh or alim in the rest of the world should remove the father as wali if he finds against him and appoint another from the family willing to do the correct thing, if no one in the family suitable then he should act as wali himself or appoint another from the community.
i do however only know a few imams who have the knowledge and authority to carry out this action of removing a father as wali and acting in his place and are willing to use it but there are probably more but it is not something that is common so most imams only being hafiz of Quran are ignorant of their responsibilities.
Jazaakumullaahu khayr to everyone who has posted replies, your advice and information has helped me greatly, it's helped clear up a lot of misconceptions i had.
firstly, i think you need to lose the belief that your parents will do something bad for you knowingly. they had taken care of you for atleast 20 years and they have far more experience than you. So, its only right that you should involve them in the decision making when it comes to marriage. Try to put the message across to them and if they persist to acting against your wishes then as another brother suggested, try to bring a local imam into this matter to offer another perspective.
But, you might want to remind your parents that its wrong to agree to a marriage, without the consent of the the bride and groom.
Hey there! Looks like you're enjoying the discussion, but you're not signed up for an account.
When you create an account, we remember exactly what you've read, so you always come right back where you left off. You also get notifications, here and via email, whenever new posts are made. And you can like posts and share your thoughts. Sign Up
Quote
Can you marry without your fathers approval?
Hide
Looks like you're enjoying the discussion, but you're not signed up for an account.
Bookmarks