Muslim women visiting graves?

format_quote Originally Posted by Emperor

Where in the Quran does God say women cannot visit graves?

It is narrated in the authentic Ahadith of the Messenger (SAWS).

Recently, my father's mother died. My father is a Catholic. I went to the funeral mass only to please my father. I sat at the back and read my Qur'an the whole time, I did not participate in the mass at all. Now, I have read many fatwas that say I have done something bad that a Muslim should never go to mass. I was only trying to please my father which of course is to please Allah. Did I commit a sin by attending the mass?
Answer In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.

All praise and thanks are due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon His Messenger.

There is nothing wrong for you in attending the funeral ceremony of your mother who died a Christian so long as you did not participate in the specific religious rituals. We know from the sources that the sahabah (the Prophet’s Companions) did attend the funerals of non-Muslims without observing their religious rites. So, you have not done anything wrong.

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In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.

All praise and thanks are due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon His Messenger.

Dear sister in Islam, we would like to thank you for the great confidence you place in us, and we implore Allah Almighty to help us serve His cause and render our work for His Sake.

It goes without saying that Islam does not aim at severing the ties of kinship between its adherents and their non-Muslim relatives. Islam considers this relationship highly, particularly that between parents and their children. Islam does not reject or disregard such instinctive relationship.

Islam calls upon Muslims to be dutiful to and behave kindly towards their non-Muslim parents, no matter what their religion or lack thereof. Moreover, dutifulness to parents extends beyond their death and continues as long as we live. Hence, a Muslim is allowed and recommended to attend the funeral of his non-Muslim parents and relatives provided that he/she does not participate in any of the religious rituals.

In response to the question you raised, the European Council for Fatwa and Research issued the following Fatwa:

"Islam orders that parents be treated kindly and graciously even if they are non-Muslims. Almighty Allah says: “Your Lord has decreed that you worship Him and that you be kind to parents…” (Al-Isra': 23) Allah Almighty also says: “Consort with them in the world kindly…” (Luqman: 15) Islam also exhorts people to observe and maintain good relationship with kith and kin.

The obligation of kindness and good relationship is emphasized on the occasions of joy and merriment as well as on the occasions of difficulties and afflictions, the greatest of which is death that brings relatives together when they are bereaved of one of them. Man intrinsically tends to express his feelings towards the deceased, whether a relative or a close acquaintance. Therefore, we read in the authentic hadith on the authority of Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) who said: The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) visited the grave of his mother and wept and caused those who were with him to weep, and said: "I asked my Lord to allow me to ask forgiveness for her, but He refused to given me permission. Then I asked Him to permit me to visit her grave and He gave me leave. So, visit graves for they remind one of death.” (Reported by Muslim and Ahmad and the compilers of Sunan except At-Tirmidhi)

Moreover, Islam calls for respecting any person, whether a believer or a disbeliever, in his/her lifetime and posthumously. It is reported by Al-Bukhari and Muslim in an authentic hadith that the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) stood up when a Jewish funeral proceeded in front of him. Somebody informed him that the dead person was a Jew. The Prophet replied: “Is it not a soul?”

Now, the soul of a father, a mother or a close relative is entitled to more respect. Therefore, a Muslim may attend the funeral of his non-Muslim parents or one of his non-Muslim relatives. He may attend the religious ceremonies held for the deceased in churches and synagogues, provided that he does not participate in the prayers, rites and other religious activities. He may also attend the burial. In all that, his intention should be to do the duty of kindness (to parents) and good relationship with kith and kin, and sharing the misfortune with the family and strengthening the relationship with relatives, and avoiding what may lead to estrangement if he fails to attend such occasions."

Excerpted, with slight modifications, from: http://www.ecfr.org


Dr. Salah Sultan, President of the Islamic American University and Professor of Islamic Jurisprudence, Cairo University, adds:

"A Muslim should attend the funeral of his non-Muslim parents just as a courteous gesture without participating in any of their rituals, for Islam has set certain rituals to be performed in funeral service; this leaves no room for any innovations. By attending, one shows that Islam is keen on maintaining relations. Allah Almighty says: " But if they strive with thee to make thee ascribe unto Me as partner that of which thou hast no knowledge, then obey them not. Consort with them in the world kindly…" (Luqman: 15)


Birr (doing good) is a right a Muslim owes a fellow Muslim and non-Muslim as well. If it's a duty for a man to sustain his non-Muslim parents, then it is his responsibility to attend their funeral prayer and accept people's condolences as a righteous deed towards parents."

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In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.


All praise and thanks are due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon His Messenger.

Sister, thank you for your question, which emanates from a thoughtful heart. May Allah Almighty help us all adhere to the principles of this true religion, Islam, and make us among the dwellers of Paradise in the Hereafter. Ameen.

Generally speaking, visiting graves is permissible for the purpose of being admonished by remembering death and the Hereafter. However, Islamic ethics and morals should be considered.

In response to your question, Sheikh Ahmad Kutty, a senior lecturer and Islamic scholar at the Islamic Institute of Toronto, Ontario, Canada, states:

“Visiting graves for women and men was prohibited in the early days of Islam. This was due to the fact that there were reasonable grounds for suspicion that the Arabs, newly converted to Islam and fresh from paganism, might associate the right to visit graves with grave worship rituals.

When the Islamic concept of Tawhid (Oneness of Allah) became deeply entrenched in the Islamic consciousness, there was no reasonable ground for such suspicions. Accordingly, the Prophet (peace and blessings be on him) lifted the above ban. He then went a step further by making grave visitations a recommended practice because of the associated benefits. He said: “In the past I have forbidden you from visiting graves, but now you may do so, for it might remind you of the next world.” (Reported by Ibn Majah)

As the above statement of the Prophet (peace and blessings be on him) is stated in general terms, scholars disagreed as to its precise interpretation. One group thought that the permission was general to include both men and women, since the Prophet (peace and blessings be on him) never indicated that the permission had been limited only to men.

A second group, however, said that women were excluded from the above permission and according to them women are forbidden to visit graves. They supported their view by another statement of the Prophet (peace and blessings be on him): “Allah has cursed women who frequent graves for visitation.” (Reported by At-Tirmidhi)

The first group cited a number of traditions in support of their view that women are permitted to visit graves. One of them is the report in Al-Bukhari’s Sahih, which states that once the Prophet (peace and blessings be on him) saw a woman weeping over a grave. He advised her to exercise patience. It is not stated anywhere that he told her it was forbidden for women to visit graves. It is only reasonable to assume that had visiting graves been haram (prohibited) for women, the Prophet (peace and blessings be on him) would have clearly stated so in this case.

As for the hadith that the second group cited to support their view, the first group explained that it was aimed at women who frequent graves for wailing and lamenting.

The above explanation seems more plausible when we take into account the fact that pagan Arabs were in the habit of hiring professionals — who were mostly women — to practice the ritual of wailing and lamenting on the graves.

The view of the first group is further confirmed by the report from `A’ishah. When someone objected to her about her visit to her brother’s grave, she said that the prohibition was in the early days of Islam and that the Prophet (peace and blessings be on him) had later allowed it. A similar view has been attributed to Umm `Atiyyah who said: “The Prophet (peace and blessings be on him) had never firmly prohibited women from visiting graves.”

In conclusion, let us say that the issue of women visiting graves has been debated by scholars of the past. After having reviewed the various traditions in this respect, Imam Al-Qurtubi concluded that women are permitted to visit graves on condition that they refrain from wailing and lamenting. Both Imam Ibn Hajar and Ash-Shawkani, both of whom who were thoroughly grounded in the science of Hadith, also tend to favor this view.”

(Excerpted, with slight modifications, from: www.islam.ca)

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