Being treated differently

format_quote Originally Posted by .iman.

This thread is mainly for support/advice from other converts, but I am sure that ALL Muslisms can relate.


I am just wondering how those who have converted (or started practicing) have dealt with the way people treat you? I've been a Muslim for a year now, al hamdoulilah. I am still being met with a lot of negativity, especially my family. They are telling me all the time that I've changed so much, and my sister has even said she has to "get to know me again". I feel hurt by a lot of these statements because I still feel that I am the same person. Yes, my beliefs have changed, and my outward appearance is not the same, but I am still the daughter/niece/aunt/sister that my family has known. I think what they are seeing is that I am upset because of a situation (being separated from my husband, which I don't want to go into) and of course because of that I am not the sparkling, bubbly, outgoing person I always have been... but they take it as now that I'm Muslim that I don't possess these characteristics anymore. Al hamdoulilah I still have two really good friends that have stood by me and supported me through my conversion but at the same time, I know they feel awkward around me, just by their mannerisms, like they are afraid they might say something that will offend me.


Another problem I've had is with finding a job. I've had several great interviews, where I am completely qualified, if not OVER qualified, yet I can't seem to get hired. I don't want to blame this on hijab because I want to think that employers will see past that, but I also did not ever have a problem finding a job before I became Muslim. I understand that the economy is not what it was before, but the fact that I am getting a few interviews, but then not getting hired, tells me something else. I try to comfort myself in saying that it is all in Allah's power,and if He wants me to work, He will give me a job. I don't want to focus so much on this dunya, but I do have financial matters that I have to take care of.


I know that I am not alone with this issue, so please share stories/advice. BarakAllahu fikoum

If you could find a job before you were Muslim easily and now you can't its pretty obvious its your identity which is causing the problem, they way you dress and to people your know as "Muslim", but keep trying sister Allah is all knowing, Patients is needed. Inshallah you will find a job (I have been finding a job for ages, if your in the UK I can understand that too!)

I lost a few friends over converting. It kind of made me not want to tell anyone else, but I figured if they can't accept it, then I don't need them in my life anyways. My family has for the most part accepted it. They realize that I'm the same person as I was before. For the most part with a few exceptions.

I know the economy is horrible right now. And it very well could be that you are a Muslim that you're not getting these positions. I have the luxury of not having any outward appearance of being a Muslim, so no one can tell. I hope that you find a place with an open mind and will hire you.

I have the opposite problem. I am struggling with trying to change, trying to become a better man, yet nobody seems to appreciate or understand or even acknowledge that. Some of my friends keep saying that they "miss the old me who knew how to have fun" and honestly, that stings a bit. I feel like none of my efforts are appreciated, but I also know that I have to do this for myself and not for anyone else.

Still, the human side of me wants to feel understood and appreciated by my friends and family. Also to be loved by a woman, but that's a different topic.

Ameen to all of the dou3as, jazakAllahu khair. Even though my life may be hard at times, especially problems with my family and finding a job, I have to say al hamdoulilah because I still have one, and I am not completely alone in this world. I also see people in poverty, who are suffering from illness, and plenty of other things that make me put things in perspective. We must not take Allah's compassion, generosity or mercy for granted!

format_quote Originally Posted by kidcanman

Try posting an add on craigslist. or if you have like a massage board or website at your local Masjid. Post the fact that you are a Hijabi who is finding it difficult to find a job due to your identity and maybe another muslim will notice. The #1 way to find a job is through networking.

if you live in Houston we could make it happen post haste.

there is a website; crescentyouth.com. I think they're nationwide. post on their website message board. Or maybe post the information on the website of the local MSA (muslim student association).

We look out for each other sister. your fellow muslims will be excited to try and find a Hijabi a job.

jazakAllahu khair for your advice. I actually had an interview Friday for a job I used to do about 5 years ago, and they immediately had me go take a drug test right after, and they said that I basically have the job, they just have to wait for the results. khair inshAllah it will all work out. I recently moved back to my hometown where there is not a large Muslim population, so it is hard to network. Amongst a population of 450,000 there are 2 masjids. inshAllah once I have some money saved up, I can make a move to a city where there is a bigger Muslim population with more opportunities.

format_quote Originally Posted by King of Nines

I have the opposite problem. I am struggling with trying to change, trying to become a better man, yet nobody seems to appreciate or understand or even acknowledge that. Some of my friends keep saying that they "miss the old me who knew how to have fun" and honestly, that stings a bit. I feel like none of my efforts are appreciated, but I also know that I have to do this for myself and not for anyone else.

Still, the human side of me wants to feel understood and appreciated by my friends and family. Also to be loved by a woman, but that's a different topic.

just be yourself and ontinue trying to be a better person,,,and dont worry about what people think of you ,,,,and dont try yto be what other people want..people should love and appreciate you as you are..if not..well maybe you dont need them

Assalamu alaykum my dear sister,


Welcome to Islam! I pray Allah eases all your hardships and keeps you strong in your faith. Ameen.

'Whenever anyone accepted islam, the Prophet salallahu alayhi wasallam, used to teach them how to pray. Then he would instruct them to invoke Allah with the following words:

Allahumaghfirlee warhamnee wahdini wa 'aafinee warzuqnee - O Allah forgive me, and have mercy on me, and give me good health and provide for me.

Muslim 4/2073, and in one of Muslim's reports there is an addition: 'For these words combine the goodness of this world and the next.'


Insha Allah may these verses comfort you and Allah's help will be with you. Ameen.

Quran Chapter 94 - Quran Translation of Surah Al-Inshirah (Solace)

Good to know that you have a good interview recently. I wish that you have the job 100%. in sha Allah. I don't lose the faith in Allah , Allah will give us better than what we seek but we need to keep work and do dua

format_quote Originally Posted by .iman.

Another problem I've had is with finding a job. I've had several great interviews, where I am completely qualified, if not OVER qualified, yet I can't seem to get hired. I don't want to blame this on hijab because I want to think that employers will see past that, but I also did not ever have a problem finding a job before I became Muslim. I understand that the economy is not what it was before, but the fact that I am getting a few interviews, but then not getting hired, tells me something else. I try to comfort myself in saying that it is all in Allah's power,and if He wants me to work, He will give me a job. I don't want to focus so much on this dunya, but I do have financial matters that I have to take care of.

I am having this exact same problem right now. Going on interviews and not getting hired because I wear the hijab whereas previously I didn't have any issues finding work even in this awful economy. I love how employers say they're equal opportunity and support diversity in the workplace but still these negative results come about. I too have financial problems that need to get taken care of right away and without a job it is very difficult.

Also pressure from the parents too wanting me to move on. It's difficult with non-Muslim parents trying to get everything done. I'm thinking soon that if I can't find work here where I am that I will have to look in other places maybe even out of the state. Really the only way I am dealing with it is trying to have patience and not dwelling too much on the negative and the way people treat me now...

format_quote Originally Posted by Who Am I?

I have the opposite problem. I am struggling with trying to change, trying to become a better man, yet nobody seems to appreciate or understand or even acknowledge that. Some of my friends keep saying that they "miss the old me who knew how to have fun" and honestly, that stings a bit. I feel like none of my efforts are appreciated, but I also know that I have to do this for myself and not for anyone else.

Still, the human side of me wants to feel understood and appreciated by my friends and family. Also to be loved by a woman, but that's a different topic.

I'm quoting myself because things have changed a lot since that last post.

I now know why I feel like an alien here. I now know why I feel out of place, like I don't belong. It is because I don't belong. I don't know why I was born here to the family I am in, but maybe it was prepare me for becoming who I am supposed to be. I'm not a Westerner.

The Islamic values of family and simple living are at odds with my upbringing in a culture that emphasises greed and individuality. This is why I have long felt that I don't belong here.

I'm a confused Easterner trapped in a Westerner's body. I'm a brown man in the skin of a white man.