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Telling my Husband I Converted
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  1. #1
    newconvert22's Avatar
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    Telling my Husband I Converted

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    Hello Brothers and Sisters,

    Two weeks ago I made a life altering decision to convert to Islam. However, I have not told the man I love, my husband, the news. At least, not fully. He knows of my interest in Islam and he knows I read the Qu'ran but he does not know I said Shahadah.

    He is not muslim and I do not know how to share the news. I am nervous. Any advice from a fellow new convert?

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    *charisma*'s Avatar
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    Re: Telling my Husband I Converted

    Assalamu Alaikum

    Have you ever spoke about it hypothetically to understand what his reaction would be like? How was his reaction overall during the time you were experessing your interest in it?
    2 | Likes newconvert22, Eric H liked this post
    Telling my Husband I Converted

    D e a t h

    is the easiest
    of all things after it
    ; ;

    the hardest
    of all things before it

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    Re: Telling my Husband I Converted

    Quote Originally Posted by *charisma* View Post
    Assalamu Alaikum

    Have you ever spoke about it hypothetically to understand what his reaction would be like? How was his reaction overall during the time you were experessing your interest in it?
    He seemed fairly okay with it. He disagreed with some stuff but he seemed, overall, fine with the interest.

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    Re: Telling my Husband I Converted

    Sister salam and welcome to Islam.
    And if you are muslim now according to Islam he is not your husband any more.
    Why,the agreement automatically become unlawful. A muslim cannot marry a non muslim. But,people of book.

    Who are they?
    People of book means,people who still follow the thora(first form of thawrad of musa(a) and Injeel(original)of Isa (a).
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    STN's Avatar
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    Re: Telling my Husband I Converted

    Quote Originally Posted by newconvert22 View Post
    Hello Brothers and Sisters,

    Two weeks ago I made a life altering decision to convert to Islam. However, I have not told the man I love, my husband, the news. At least, not fully. He knows of my interest in Islam and he knows I read the Qu'ran but he does not know I said Shahadah.

    He is not muslim and I do not know how to share the news. I am nervous. Any advice from a fellow new convert?


    Sister, you can gently introduce him to Islam and tell him all the good things about it, who knows he might find guidance too and accept Islam. You can also judge his reactions and in the process, make your Imaan strong and increase your knowledge of Islam. Stop or decrease being intimate with him.

    But you should eventually have the talk with him about you being a Muslimah now and he can't be your husband anymore unless he becomes Muslim too. The sooner you do it, the better. And you should increase your talk of Islam more to him instead of waiting for the perfect moment you know, see what his misconceptions about Islam are and clear those, tell him what brought you closer to Islam and (the things that made you accept Islam).

    It would feel difficult to leave him if he doesn't accept Islam but remember, your duty to Allah is far greater. And The Prophet Mohammad(SAWW), said, “Verily, you will never leave anything for the sake of Allah Almighty but that Allah will replace it with something better.”

    So in face of temporary hardship, remember that you will gain the pleasure of Allah and what can be better than The Almighty Allah pleasure ? =)

    I pray that this matter becomes easy for you, Ameen

    PS: Oh and, if he really loves you then if he loses you, he will take a greater interest in learning what's the reason that you felt so strong to leave him for it. But i hope that time never comes and he accepts Islam inshaAllah.
    Last edited by STN; 08-14-2017 at 09:34 AM.
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    Umm♥Layth's Avatar
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    Re: Telling my Husband I Converted

    I know that people mean well when they advise, but the reality is that they do not live your life and they have no idea what you will face and they certainly will not be there for you when (and if) you face any difficulties.

    I would caution you to take it very VERY slowly. First you need to wait and hear back from a scholar who can guide you on what to do about the marriage part of things. Marriage isn't as disposable as people make it seem today (astaghfirullah). Allah clearly does not like the dismantling of the family unit, divorce is his most disliked permissible act. So, please, figure yourself out before you give the news to your husband.

    You also cannot emotionally blackmail anyone into accepting ANYTHING, let alone a religion or faith. When you present your new faith to him, you also have to present him with options because this will affect his life as much as yours. Marriage is a partnership and you already made the decision to accept another (life changing) faith without him, so in my estimation, the least you can do for him is take it slowly and warm him up to the idea. Write down the things he objects to and find a way to gently and lovingly show him otherwise. Don't rush any of this

    I'm a fellow convert by the way. It's been 13 years for me. Trust me when I tell you that you will be tested in your declaration of faith and it isn't going to be easy. I strongly advise you to study and gain some conviction before making any announcements. It is very painful to lose family and being alone. That's a reality many many converts face and when they do face this kind of hardship, they begin to feel negative towards Islam.Those people who once rushed you to declare to the world that you are a Muslim are nowhere to be seen when this hardship is faced lol. I'd like you to avoid a scenario like this, insha'Allah.

    The truth is, that we are in control of how we present ourselves, how we present our faith to those that are not very familiar with it. In order to do this properly, we ourselves have to be well familiar with what we choose to follow. People need time to come around and some never do. Be prepared for that.

    With much love and understanding,

    your sister in Islam <3
    Last edited by Umm♥Layth; 08-14-2017 at 03:08 PM.
    3 | Likes newconvert22, *charisma*, cinnamonrolls1 liked this post

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    Scottish Celt's Avatar
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    Re: Telling my Husband I Converted

    Salam sister,Tell your husband the truth,he'l understand in the end,i am a new convert,my wife who is Christian but has lapsed now understands she is intrested in Islam not yet to convert but very inquisitive & now can see my reasoning,on some things on Islam,maybe one day she might say Shahada,but I take it slowly
    3 | Likes newconvert22, *charisma*, Umm Abed liked this post

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    Re: Telling my Husband I Converted

    Asalamu alaykum and welcome to Islam. May Allah help you, guide you & ease your path. Aameen.

    I just came across this story of a new Muslim lady in a similar situation to yours n how her husband reacted. Thought I'd share

    http://muslimgirl.com/category/muslimgirllife/
    2 | Likes newconvert22, Umm Abed liked this post

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    newconvert22's Avatar
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    Re: Telling my Husband I Converted

    Quote Originally Posted by piXie View Post
    Asalamu alaykum and welcome to Islam. May Allah help you, guide you & ease your path. Aameen.

    I just came across this story of a new Muslim lady in a similar situation to yours n how her husband reacted. Thought I'd share

    http://muslimgirl.com/category/muslimgirllife/
    Just read the article, I loved it! So moving and I could relate to it so well. I pray this for my husband and family! Thank you for sharing.
    1 | Likes Umm Abed liked this post

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    Re: Telling my Husband I Converted

    You dont worry about him you pray for him and From books of Islamic stories, learn about what is Islam and holy quran, pillars of Islam, hijab importance for girls, history of Prophet Mohammad you want to know more knowledge " ummahstars "

    - - - Updated - - -

    You dont worry about him you pray for him and From books of Islamic stories, learn about what is Islam and holy quran, pillars of Islam, hijab importance for girls, history of Prophet Mohammad you want to know more knowledge " ummahstars "

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    Zzz_'s Avatar
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    Re: Telling my Husband I Converted

    Quote Originally Posted by Shahi View Post
    And if you are muslim now according to Islam he is not your husband any more.
    Why,the agreement automatically become unlawful. A muslim cannot marry a non muslim. But,people of book.
    .
    That is not true. She has iddah period in which he can accept islam and their marriage will stay valid.

    https://islamqa.info/en/4036
    https://islamqa.info/en/152778


    Stories of Women who Became Muslim and Left their Non-Muslim Husbands
    https://islamqa.info/en/3408
    1 | Likes newconvert22 liked this post

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