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Advice needed! New revert being asked to retake shahada by future mother in law
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  1. #1
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    Advice needed! New revert being asked to retake shahada by future mother in law

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    As-salamu alaykum,

    I'd really appreciate some advice, I reverted in May 2017 and took the shahada at a trusted friends house in the presence of 6 Muslims. I recently went to a marriage talk (alongside one of my closest Muslim-born friends who led my shahada) where my future mother in law asked me if I could retake my shahada in a mosque with her & her family present for her "own peace of mind". What started as a simple discussion about me asking what her reason was for this (I suspect she doesn't believe I have reverted), turned into a heated debate and ended with me refusing to retake the shahada simply for her own satisfaction (her words, not mine), and with the future mother in law refusing to give the marriage her blessing unless I retook the shahada in a mosque for her to witness.

    Does she have any basis in Islam for asking me to retake my shahada for her to witness?

    Please help!

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    Re: Advice needed! New revert being asked to retake shahada by future mother in law

    Walaikum Assalm
    I don't know about Islamic ruling, but I can understand her mother's point of view as she is marrying her daughter to you, she will feel insecure giving her daughter to a revert , and it's not only because you are revert even If :she is marrying her daughter to a muslim who is not of same ethnicity, or country, she will feel insecure
    So don't feel offended, it's very difficult and important decision for parents.
    Advice needed! New revert being asked to retake shahada by future mother in law



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    Re: Advice needed! New revert being asked to retake shahada by future mother in law

    Quote Originally Posted by P.K. View Post
    As-salamu alaykum,

    I'd really appreciate some advice, I reverted in May 2017 and took the shahada at a trusted friends house in the presence of 6 Muslims. I recently went to a marriage talk (alongside one of my closest Muslim-born friends who led my shahada) where my future mother in law asked me if I could retake my shahada in a mosque with her & her family present for her "own peace of mind". What started as a simple discussion about me asking what her reason was for this (I suspect she doesn't believe I have reverted), turned into a heated debate and ended with me refusing to retake the shahada simply for her own satisfaction (her words, not mine), and with the future mother in law refusing to give the marriage her blessing unless I retook the shahada in a mosque for her to witness.

    Does she have any basis in Islam for asking me to retake my shahada for her to witness?

    Please help!

    Asalaamualaykum

    Its not you that needs the help - its actually your mother-in-law that needs help !!!

    She has no basis and Islamic right of asking you to take Shahada again.

    Print my answer and show it to her.

    1. Who has she declared her Shahada in front of and who are the witnesses of her very own Shahada ?

    2. If she is asking you to take Shahada now in front of others, she is missing the point of Shahada. Your very own testimony that you have reverted is shahada on its own.

    3. I assume she was raised in a Muslim family - and automatically thinks her Shahada is "Automatic" !!!!

    This is what you need to do to prove your point.

    Tell her you have no problem "declaring" the shahada again in front of her family under the 3 conditions

    a) The family must be told publically BEFORE you declare that Shahada that you have ALREADY taken the Shahada before hence this is not the first time you becoming a Muslim but rather it is REDECLARATION for her own Nafs and desires. In other words you are already a Muslim and doing it for own peace of mind (For whatever that's worth)

    b) Since you are being asked to re-declare your Shahada, in return you want the "peace of mind" to know that HER OWN DAUGHTER is a Muslim too - hence your (future wife, ie. her own daughter) must also re-declare her very own Shahada

    c) The Mother-in-law herself re-declares her own Shahada in that very gathering for your own "peace of mind"

    Believe you me - they will be so embarrassed on conditions that they would get the point !!! and the entire thing will subside.

    My personal advice is if they don't get the point, without judgement here but everything points to the fact that utter Jahils and in my opinion, find another spouse.

    If they don't accept the conditions in exactness as I have suggested then it points out clearly they have segregation type mentality between Reverts and Non-Reverts. This will in turn mean they will make your marriage (If it even goes ahead) a nightmare and not even consider you Muslim.

    What is making my tummy turn here, is the fact that they asking you to re-declare your shahada, means they consider your a Kafir at this very moment. According to Ahadith, any Muslim calling another a Kafir - Rasool SAW has explained that one of them is definitely a Kaafir. It means that if the accuser is correct then he is correct, but if the accuser is in correct, then the Kufr comes back on them.

    Inform your mother-in-law of this hadith. If she still rejects this stance, then levy the conditions I have stated.

    Last edited by Supernova; 2 Weeks Ago at 12:05 PM. Reason: spelling
    Advice needed! New revert being asked to retake shahada by future mother in law

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    Re: Advice needed! New revert being asked to retake shahada by future mother in law

    Infact yes. She has right to ask you to take shahada but every muslim has right to ask any muslim to take shahada. Its not something between you and her. Thats the meaning of shahadah anyway. To proclaim your faith with your heart and tongue. You cant keep it a secret unless your life is threatened. Also it is not something you can perform only in entering islam . You can perform it everyday again and again to refresh your faith.

    Whats absurd in this example is her wanting you to do it in front of her family with a kind of ceremony. There is no need for this.
    Advice needed! New revert being asked to retake shahada by future mother in law

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    Re: Advice needed! New revert being asked to retake shahada by future mother in law



    I really appreciate your Mother in law to have openly asked you directly rather than making indirect reasons or refusal . This imo is to receive you with full respected muslim member in a community known to every one that her Son in law is a true muslim so that none in her community or outsiders could not have any reservations,objections or back biting about the acceptance of Islam by you. In Islam there is a rule to decide by the apparent so may she feels that your shahadha is not apparent enough since just 6 members is not an enough muslim community in her opinion .

    Particularly muslims from the sub continent will be more concerned in such matters since its in their nature and things are much more serious if we see even within their respective, tribes,communities countries if the groom is a revert.

    Though its not that correct to doubt when someone reiterates with his shahadha that one has accepted Islam but in matters of such important issues like giving out your daughter to somebody unknown, these obstacles do arise which we should be wise to tackle them rather than creating a commotion on such not very serious issues since the honor of your inlaws is your honour as well. And imo they want their Son in law deserves to be given a warm welcome into their community with a all those hugs and kisses and HONOUR from the community which is usually given to a revert. You mother in law request will pave a way to other Reverts to be easily accepted in such closed communities which is inherit nature of them.
    Last edited by talibilm; 2 Weeks Ago at 11:20 PM. Reason: add word objections
    Advice needed! New revert being asked to retake shahada by future mother in law

    My Sect : No Sect

    My Aqeedha : Aqeedha of Sahabas as in http://legacy.quran.com/112

    Just a Muslim with Glorious Quran and (hadith) sunnah as my guide as in verse 41:33 '' And who is better in speech than one who invites to Allah and does righteousness and says, "Indeed, I am of the Muslims."

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    Re: Advice needed! New revert being asked to retake shahada by future mother in law

    Quote Originally Posted by P.K. View Post
    As-salamu alaykum,

    I'd really appreciate some advice, I reverted in May 2017 and took the shahada at a trusted friends house in the presence of 6 Muslims. I recently went to a marriage talk (alongside one of my closest Muslim-born friends who led my shahada) where my future mother in law asked me if I could retake my shahada in a mosque with her & her family present for her "own peace of mind". What started as a simple discussion about me asking what her reason was for this (I suspect she doesn't believe I have reverted), turned into a heated debate and ended with me refusing to retake the shahada simply for her own satisfaction (her words, not mine), and with the future mother in law refusing to give the marriage her blessing unless I retook the shahada in a mosque for her to witness.

    Does she have any basis in Islam for asking me to retake my shahada for her to witness?

    Please help!
    Why not just do it bro? Prove it to her there's nothing wrong with doing that.
    1 | Likes talibilm liked this post

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    Re: Advice needed! New revert being asked to retake shahada by future mother in law

    Quote Originally Posted by P.K. View Post
    As-salamu alaykum,

    I'd really appreciate some advice, I reverted in May 2017 and took the shahada at a trusted friends house in the presence of 6 Muslims. I recently went to a marriage talk (alongside one of my closest Muslim-born friends who led my shahada) where my future mother in law asked me if I could retake my shahada in a mosque with her & her family present for her "own peace of mind". What started as a simple discussion about me asking what her reason was for this (I suspect she doesn't believe I have reverted), turned into a heated debate and ended with me refusing to retake the shahada simply for her own satisfaction (her words, not mine), and with the future mother in law refusing to give the marriage her blessing unless I retook the shahada in a mosque for her to witness.

    Does she have any basis in Islam for asking me to retake my shahada for her to witness?

    Please help!
    I do not know if she has the right to do that or not. It sounds like not...but let me tell you something:

    I have a daughter...she is only 17 months old. so still just a baby...I love her very much...but one day she will become an adult...and one day...she will come home with someone.
    I dont want to let her go now...and I would not want to let her go then either...but I must....
    So I wonder...what kind of ridiculous things will I ask from my son in law to make my insecureness go away?

    So somewhere I kind of understand your mother in law. She is losing someone which she has been protecting all her life. Its not easy for her to give that up.

    Again...I do not know her personality...I do not know whether she is reasonable against you or not...but if she only asks that...I would do that.
    1 | Likes sister herb liked this post

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    Re: Advice needed! New revert being asked to retake shahada by future mother in law

    I agree with you sis umie. Also, if kind of discussion with your possible future mother-in-law ends as "heated depate" it might tells too much negative about you to her. Watch your mouth always when talking with people in kind of situation.
    Advice needed! New revert being asked to retake shahada by future mother in law

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    Re: Advice needed! New revert being asked to retake shahada by future mother in law

    Walaikum Asalaam

    Looking at this from your mother in law's perspective, I can understand her viewpoint, even if it seems prejudice. She's giving away her daughter and want's to feel secure in knowing that you are who you say you are. I don't think it's right, but if you have good judgement and you know the mother-in-law is ok otherwise and her daughter is worth it, then maybe you should ease her heart and just do it for the sake of making it all easier for everyone. Culturally back then, background checks were all the rage, so today it would have been either one or the other I think that it's a step forward that she is accepting towards her daughter marrying a revert even though it shouldn't be an issue in the first place. It's just not too common to hear about these things happening, so maybe that is also a factor..she just doesn't know how to go about it. Either way may allah make things easier on you ameen
    2 | Likes sister herb, Pure Purple liked this post
    Advice needed! New revert being asked to retake shahada by future mother in law

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    they would transgress and overstep the mark.
    When Allah wills good for His slaves,
    He gives him the medicine of calamities and trials according to his situation,
    so as to cure him from all fatal illnesses and diseases,
    until He purifies and cleanses him,
    and then makes him qualified for the most honourable position in this world,
    which is that of being a true slave of Allah (‘uboodiyyah),
    and for the greatest reward in the Hereafter,
    which is that of seeing Him and being close to Him.
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