Advice needed! New revert being asked to retake shahada by future mother in law

format_quote Originally Posted by P.K.

As-salamu alaykum,

I'd really appreciate some advice, I reverted in May 2017 and took the shahada at a trusted friends house in the presence of 6 Muslims. I recently went to a marriage talk (alongside one of my closest Muslim-born friends who led my shahada) where my future mother in law asked me if I could retake my shahada in a mosque with her & her family present for her "own peace of mind". What started as a simple discussion about me asking what her reason was for this (I suspect she doesn't believe I have reverted), turned into a heated debate and ended with me refusing to retake the shahada simply for her own satisfaction (her words, not mine), and with the future mother in law refusing to give the marriage her blessing unless I retook the shahada in a mosque for her to witness.

Does she have any basis in Islam for asking me to retake my shahada for her to witness?

Please help!

Why not just do it bro? Prove it to her there's nothing wrong with doing that.

format_quote Originally Posted by P.K.

As-salamu alaykum,

I'd really appreciate some advice, I reverted in May 2017 and took the shahada at a trusted friends house in the presence of 6 Muslims. I recently went to a marriage talk (alongside one of my closest Muslim-born friends who led my shahada) where my future mother in law asked me if I could retake my shahada in a mosque with her & her family present for her "own peace of mind". What started as a simple discussion about me asking what her reason was for this (I suspect she doesn't believe I have reverted), turned into a heated debate and ended with me refusing to retake the shahada simply for her own satisfaction (her words, not mine), and with the future mother in law refusing to give the marriage her blessing unless I retook the shahada in a mosque for her to witness.

Does she have any basis in Islam for asking me to retake my shahada for her to witness?

Please help!

I do not know if she has the right to do that or not. It sounds like not...but let me tell you something:

I have a daughter...she is only 17 months old. so still just a baby...I love her very much...but one day she will become an adult...and one day...she will come home with someone.
I dont want to let her go now...and I would not want to let her go then either...but I must....
So I wonder...what kind of ridiculous things will I ask from my son in law to make my insecureness go away?

So somewhere I kind of understand your mother in law. She is losing someone which she has been protecting all her life. Its not easy for her to give that up.

Again...I do not know her personality...I do not know whether she is reasonable against you or not...but if she only asks that...I would do that.

You guys are misunderstanding this idea of "taking Shahada". Because you are from a Christian background you are equating it with some sort of Baptism ritual. We repeat the Shahada daily and abundantly and encouraged to constantly refresh our faith. This is a new phenomenon that converts to Islam are being asked to go into a mosque and recite a Shahada before an audience as if that is the formal way to convert to Islam. The way to convert to Islam is to first convert in your heart and believe in Allah and His Messenger صلى الله عليه وسلم, once you have done that you are already a Muslim. Then you may inform the Muslim community of your conversion and recite the Shahada before them only to make them aware that you have become a Muslim. So if you mother-in-law wants you to recite Shahada again then what's the big deal?

Assalamualaikum brother, May Allah (swt) protect us all from transgressing and guide us to the path of believers. One of the most basic and beautiful teachings of Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) is to try to avoid and ignore irrelevant arguments and debates which will neither help us in increasing our imaan nor the other person. You are a Muslim, be proud of it. Say the Shahadah in front of the whole world if you get the chance. Please try to understand the predicament of the lady whose daughter you want to marry. Some people who don't have regard for any religion will convert to any religion just to get married to the girl or boy they want. So sometimes the parents had to take precautions because the life of their children are at stake.

My humble advice to you is to ask forgiveness from Allah, try to make amends with the lady, even if you don't marry her daughter it's not advisable for a Muslim to be angry with other Muslim.

May Allah (swt) forgive us all.

format_quote Originally Posted by Supernova

Asalaamualaykum

Its not you that needs the help - its actually your mother-in-law that needs help !!!

She has no basis and Islamic right of asking you to take Shahada again.

Print my answer and show it to her.

1. Who has she declared her Shahada in front of and who are the witnesses of her very own Shahada ?

2. If she is asking you to take Shahada now in front of others, she is missing the point of Shahada. Your very own testimony that you have reverted is shahada on its own.

3. I assume she was raised in a Muslim family - and automatically thinks her Shahada is "Automatic" !!!!

This is what you need to do to prove your point.

Tell her you have no problem "declaring" the shahada again in front of her family under the 3 conditions

a) The family must be told publically BEFORE you declare that Shahada that you have ALREADY taken the Shahada before hence this is not the first time you becoming a Muslim but rather it is REDECLARATION for her own Nafs and desires. In other words you are already a Muslim and doing it for own peace of mind (For whatever that's worth)

b) Since you are being asked to re-declare your Shahada, in return you want the "peace of mind" to know that HER OWN DAUGHTER is a Muslim too - hence your (future wife, ie. her own daughter) must also re-declare her very own Shahada

c) The Mother-in-law herself re-declares her own Shahada in that very gathering for your own "peace of mind"

Believe you me - they will be so embarrassed on conditions that they would get the point !!! and the entire thing will subside.

My personal advice is if they don't get the point, without judgement here but everything points to the fact that utter Jahils and in my opinion, find another spouse.

If they don't accept the conditions in exactness as I have suggested then it points out clearly they have segregation type mentality between Reverts and Non-Reverts. This will in turn mean they will make your marriage (If it even goes ahead) a nightmare and not even consider you Muslim.

What is making my tummy turn here, is the fact that they asking you to re-declare your shahada, means they consider your a Kafir at this very moment. According to Ahadith, any Muslim calling another a Kafir - Rasool SAW has explained that one of them is definitely a Kaafir. It means that if the accuser is correct then he is correct, but if the accuser is in correct, then the Kufr comes back on them.

Inform your mother-in-law of this hadith. If she still rejects this stance, then levy the conditions I have stated.

Assalaamu alaykum
Masha Allah
This is a very wise answer!!
I wish I had thought of this. I cannot tell you how many born Muslims have questioned my Islam when they first meet me and interrogated me.
Next time I am asked to take my shahadah again I will give them your answer (you retake your shahadah and so will I RETAKE my shahadah )
Thanks so much for posting!!

Assalam walaikum. I can understand how you would feel insulted. However, if you really want to marry that woman's child, you should just fulfill her request in order to avoid further conflict. A lot of old timers, especially ethnic ones like my father, are skeptical when they hear of Muslims marrying converts. Of course most of the early Muslims were converts/reverts! They don't remember that. Also the fact that during the expansion of the Islamic Empire, many people married people of other ethnicities. I am so mixed. Yet my father won't like it that I want to marry a guy who is from another country and not from our country of origin. Ironically, my fiance is ethnically and genetically more similar to me and most of my recent ancestors than those other guys I don't feel any attraction to and who often, along with their mothers, are abusive monsters. I know of so many divorces and unhappy "marriages" because of that. Here's a tip: If you marry that woman's offspring, move as far as you can!!! Sadly, my fiance has no mother because his mother died almost a year ago. I would not have minded a nice, kind and compassionate mother-in-law. My fiance's mother loved him a lot and I am sure she would have loved me, too. Insha Allah, we will meet in Highest Jannat.