1. some people say you can just perform them after salaat isha, others say you must sleep first. so is it necessary to fall asleep first before praying these 2 prayers at night?
2. some people say you need to wake up by yourself before you can pray these 2 prayers. but what if you use an alarm clock to wake up?
You can perform istikhara at any time in which salah has been allowed, in a salah that is not fard. So for example, you could say the istikhara dua during the duhr sunna, during the duha prayer, during witr, during any other prayer you pray.
I'm not sure whether you speak arabic or not, but here is a thread I made about misconceptions about istikhara prayer. link
SALAATUL HAJAT : The salaat to be performed when one has a need
When a dire need arises, perform a proper wudhu then perform two rakaats of salaah with full devotion and concentration. Hymn the praises of Allah, recite durood upon Rasoolullah Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam and then recite the following dua at least once. However, it may be recited as many times as one wishes.
TRANSLATION: “There is none worthy of worship besides Allah, the Clement, the Bountiful. Glory be to Allah, Lord of the Magnificent Throne. Praise be to Allah, Lord of the worlds. Oh Allah, I ask of You all those things which draw Your Mercy and which makes Your Forgiveness necessary, a fair chance/share of every goodness and protection from all sins. Do not leave any of my sins unforgiven and no need (of mine) with which You are pleased, unfulfilled, O Most Merciful of those who show mercy.” (Tirmizi Vol.1 P.108/109)
IMPORTANT NOTE: Just as it is necessary for a person to abstain from poison while taking medicine, likewise the full benefit of these duas will be only realised if a person abstains from sin. If perchance one does commit any sin, one should immediately resort to Taubah and Istighfaar. Therefore, abstention from sin is absolutely necessary. (Hakeem Mohammed Akhtar [M.Z.])
It has nothing to do with sleep, you can perform it at any time, whether you've just woken up, just about to sleep, just had a nap, whatever. All it is is 2 nafila raka'as, at the end of which you recite the istikhara dua.
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