I find myself often having to defend myself (in a nonviolent manor) against those who would insult my family because of our culture. We, or i should say they, are all Roman Catholic, whereas i am Protestant. To this day as well as in the past i would sometimes bring home friends for dinner or just to hang out and what i thought was normal was what they said "completely wrong!" outdated and downright scary! Let me give you examples
1. Women in our home(s) would always take care of household duties.
2. Dinner was always served in 5 to 6 courses usually lasting 4 hours (remember Italian)
3. Mothers, auntie’s (yes we say aunty and uncle to, or at least some of us) always ate after the men, even us kids, if the kids were not at a separate table from the adults
4. Arranged marriages (you didn't know Italians did that did you) forget falling in love with your high school sweetheart, and you had better have went to her father before she even new you were interested!!! And she or he Better be Italian or Believe it or not (my family loves Arabs and Indians) Asian NO WHITE do not take offense (don't call an Italian man anything but Mediterranean, just some advice unless they are from the north)
5. Our women were the most loved in the family and were always modestly dressed! My grandmother was very traditional she never left the house with her head or for that fact any skin exposed! Especially in church, or at mass.
6. Women only spoke when spoken to, or unless they were speaking to the children!
7. The men were to treat there women with the utmost respect!, and love them unconditionally( on occasion, extremely rare once or twice I saw my parents or grandparents give each other a hug, or even more a peck on the cheek!)
8. Absolutely under no circumstances, were you to participate in any forms of PDA (public displays of affection) I once saw my Nonna (grandmother) smack my uncle so hard, a tough 40 year old Italian guy cried in public because he kissed my aunt in front of another Catholic! I cried because it was so loud I felt it (and I was scared) lol.
9. I don’t know if it’s just Italian guy’s but I swear my father and grandfather had hands made of concrete( especially when the spanked you) A friend of mine once asked what was the longest time I was in “time out” I laughed so hard, and said after Nonno hit me I was out for about 5 minutes.lol
10. Emigrants have never heard of time out! Muslim or Christian!
11. Americans or as Nonno said Amed’ ee ‘kans have no culture they take everybody else’s and tear it apart (he said this every time he turned the TV on) so did aunty!
12. My wife is Indian, from Tamil Nadu to be exact! Revert back to #4
13. My brother’s wife is Saudi Arabian! Revert back to #4
13. I only learned Italian because none in my family wanted to learn English. (to them it is a corrupt and ugly language)
14. My wife’s family is amazed we call auntie’s and uncles,…… auntie’s and uncles, no names that’s disrespectful and who could remember all of them anyway I have 14 (of each!)
15. Again no PDA
16. If I talked to a woman there better be one of her male family members there!
17. Men wear pants and long-sleeved shirts; I usually wear button downs and jeans.
18. Be covered and clothed even in your home! (You never know when an aunty is coming by) lol
19. I keep my Bible on the highest shelf in the house, never lowered below the waist, and I am clean when I read it. No wrinkled pages, no markings in it! (I think Muslims treat the Quran the same way?)
20. I have a copy of the Quran. Yes I do!
21. I will remind you I am a Christian.
22. Oh yeah, I am 30 but anyone in the first generation of my family live to an average age of 90 to 100! Nonna was almost 101 when she passed. Her parents that never left Italy always made it to at least 102 to 103! They said before they passed, “ I fear because of the plight of this dark country you won’t make it as far as us in age”
23. Respect your Women!!!!!!!
24. Men always made the money to support his family, never bring home the bacon(we don't eat it either, it is in the Bible)
Can you relate to any of this? Or is it just Italians, or just my family? Do you think this is to extreme? Respond with replies additions or comments!
^ seriously, I was about to ask you the same questions you asked until I reached the end of your post. Does the above have anything to do with you being religious.
To be honest, this is my first time to know that there are still some Christians around who still hold such rituals and traditionals.
^ seriously, I was about to ask you the same questions you asked until I reached the end of your post. Does the above have anything to do with you being religious.
To be honest, this is my first time to know that there are still some Christians around who still hold such rituals and traditionals.
In every way! i like being traditional. most of my family do still hold traditional values but we still have to fit in, in some way. i was not in an arranged marriage but some of my uncles still are or were. they went back to italy to meet there wives, usually 10 minutes before marriage. lol.
we still believe that is the best way for a fullfilling relationship with your spouse. Thanks for replying.
Arranged marriages (you didn't know Italians did that did you) forget falling in love with your high school sweetheart, and you had better have went to her father before she even new you were interested!!! And she or he Better be Italian or Believe it or not (my family loves Arabs and Indians) Asian NO WHITE do not take offense (don't call an Italian man anything but Mediterranean, just some advice unless they are from the north)
5. Our women were the most loved in the family and were always modestly dressed! My grandmother was very traditional she never left the house with her head or for that fact any skin exposed! Especially in church, or at mass.
6. Women only spoke when spoken to, or unless they were speaking to the children!
7. The men were to treat there women with the utmost respect!, and love them unconditionally( on occasion, extremely rare once or twice I saw my parents or grandparents give each other a hug, or even more a peck on the cheek!)
8. Absolutely under no circumstances, were you to participate in any forms of PDA (public displays of affection) I once saw my Nonna (grandmother) smack my uncle so hard, a tough 40 year old Italian guy cried in public because he kissed my aunt in front of another Catholic! I cried because it was so loud I felt it (and I was scared) lol.
All these are very close to islam .. i repond to these what a ideal islam family has..
Code:
Arranged marriages (you didn't know Italians did that did you)
In Islam marriage is done only after the approval of parents.Infact for any marriage proposal a brides father goes to grooms house and asks for marriage.
Code:
Our women were the most loved in the family and were always modestly dressed! My grandmother was very traditional she never left the house with her head or for that fact any skin exposed! Especially in church, or at mass.
In Islam too, Mother has the highest position after Allah (God) , They are very respected and well looked after.We consider hijab(modesty) is necessary before men(who are unrelated)
Code:
6. Women only spoke when spoken to, or unless they were speaking to the children!
Free mixing of genders is not allowed here too .
Code:
Absolutely under no circumstances, were you to participate in any forms of PDA (public
this comes under modesty too
Code:
Absolutely under no circumstances, were you to participate in any forms of PDA (public
hello from INDIA and vanakkam
Code:
16. If I talked to a woman there better be one of her male family members there!
Since free mixing of genders is disallowed.Opposite genders can only speak when other people are there.
20. I have a copy of the Quran. Yes I do!
21. I will remind you I am a Christian.
All these are very close to islam .. i repond to these what a ideal islam family has..
Code:
Arranged marriages (you didn't know Italians did that did you)
In Islam marriage is done only after the approval of parents.Infact for any marriage proposal a brides father goes to grooms house and asks for marriage.
Code:
Our women were the most loved in the family and were always modestly dressed! My grandmother was very traditional she never left the house with her head or for that fact any skin exposed! Especially in church, or at mass.
In Islam too, Mother has the highest position after Allah (God) , They are very respected and well looked after.We consider hijab(modesty) is necessary before men(who are unrelated)
Code:
6. Women only spoke when spoken to, or unless they were speaking to the children!
Free mixing of genders is not allowed here too .
Code:
Absolutely under no circumstances, were you to participate in any forms of PDA (public
this comes under modesty too
Code:
Absolutely under no circumstances, were you to participate in any forms of PDA (public
hello from INDIA and vanakkam
Code:
16. If I talked to a woman there better be one of her male family members there!
Since free mixing of genders is disallowed.Opposite genders can only speak when other people are there.
May Allah guide you .Peace
Wouldn't happen to be in Chennei by chance would you? Thats where her family is from.
Wow, is it Italian culture? Some of it is like Islam. It is nice MashaAllah
From what i can witness to yes it's Italian culture my family and thier close friends from italy were always like this from what i saw. but Amerikan Italians especially those that are 2nd and 3rd generation are not. I am second gen but i still hold on and enforce traditional values! Thanks
^ seriously, I was about to ask you the same questions you asked until I reached the end of your post. Does the above have anything to do with you being religious.
To be honest, this is my first time to know that there are still some Christians around who still hold such rituals and traditionals.
I will definetly respect everyone on this forum especially the sisters! We as Christians or at least i still try to keep that custom alive. Thanks
Oh wow, were you affected by the floods? If you were, sorry.
Thanks for asking. I wasn't affected by floods because i live away from my hometown for university.Though my hometown bore the brunt of floods. the river which runs though my city flooded its banks .
In every way! i like being traditional. most of my family do still hold traditional values but we still have to fit in, in some way. i was not in an arranged marriage but some of my uncles still are or were. they went back to italy to meet there wives, usually 10 minutes before marriage. lol.
we still believe that is the best way for a fullfilling relationship with your spouse. Thanks for replying.
Let me explain when i said they (uncles) still are or were in an arrranged marriage, i didn't mean they were divorced, just that the ones who have married still are and the ones that arent still say the will be in an, let me correct myself "assisted partnership, or marriage".
One of my auties is Pakistani, she is a Christian, my uncle met her in Genoa, after he spoke with her parents for a year! They now live in NY and have 3 children.
Thanks for asking. I wasn't affected by floods because i live away from my hometown for university.Though my hometown bore the brunt of floods. the river which runs though my city flooded its banks .
I have a friend that just got back to the states after attending Manipal University! She said i have to visit Goa, it's beautiful!
I was looking at myself talking to myself and I realized this conversation...I was having with myself looking at myself was a conversation with myself that I needed to have with myself.
I know a little Italia , this is a nice country and nice people . But you are right when you said that they are of strict customs . Perhaps because the Islamic influence during the past time .
You are believer , al hamduLillah , ask to God the good way and the key of the problem .
My current wife and my deceased wife are/were Native Americans. Current wife is Cheyenne deceased wife was Cherokee. Both were previously married and with both their previous husband was Italian. Although I never met either of the previous husbands I can vouch they did treat my wives with very high respect during their marriages to them The attitude Italian men have towards women is very commendable..
I will definetly respect everyone on this forum especially the sisters! We as Christians or at least i still try to keep that custom alive. Thanks
Thanks a lot!
and I really respect those non-Muslim members who come to seek knowledge sincerely, you seems to me as one of them. I wish you a beneficial stay here.
I remembered posting a thread few weeks ago about a conversation between me and a Filipino girl who said that in her village no one can distinguish the Muslim-women from non-Muslim ones and that because even the non-Muslims one are putting on the head scarf and dress modestly not only in churches but also in any other place outside their homes. I was surprised that there are still some few Christian women who hold such values. After I read your post, I think those "few" are a bit more than what I thought
I can see all these things with some alteration (for we are Muslims) around me.
We regards to respecting women we are not that vivid. But we are extreemly soft to our daughters. My father never missed a chance to correct us(boys) and my sisters would play with his beard.
You should stick to these beautiful traditions without feeling inferior.
Our drawingroom still does not have any sofa or chair. Its only have a clean carpet (I often pray on for its cleanliness) and some pillows.
My favorite food, still, is boiled salty muton.(And we cook it without water :X)
And I love all what we have specially that is different than others.
I know a little Italia , this is a nice country and nice people . But you are right when you said that they are of strict customs . Perhaps because the Islamic influence during the past time .
You are believer , al hamduLillah , ask to God the good way and the key of the problem .
Friendly .
Oh good, i speak little Italian and understand some Sardo another dielect of italian spoke in Sardinia. I don't think its from Islamic influence in the past? but i will look into it, interesting.
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