These past of couple of months my faith has been decreasing very much, it has been decreasing to the degree that I almost consider myself not having any faith at all. I do not feel anything when I hear about Islam, Allah and the Prophet Muhammad. I do not feel anything when I listen to the Quran. It is all gone. I feel very empty.
I don’t know what’s wrong with me. Or if anything is wrong with me at all? I can still remember how I use to love Islam, how I use to do my five daily prayers on time, how I use to enjoy listening to lectures and listening to the Quran constantly. These days, I’ve stopped praying, I’ve stopped listening to the Quran and lectures. It all feels so empty, so shallow, nothing…
What’s wrong with me? It feels like this is my fate, to die in this state. I mean when I use to hear those Islamic lectures about fate and all the talk about dying as a believer and as an unbeliever, I use to pray to Allah that the last thing I would say would be my shahada. Today I am almost certain I will die as unbeliever. Is this something horrible to say, to believe? I don’t know because I don’t feel anything at all.
I hope none of you take this the wrong way. I am not writing all of this for the sake of it… It hurts me to write this but I have to so you can understand how I feel. Because I need help. I need help to find the inner peace I once had in my life when Islam was part of it. I need help to to find the faith in me, I need help to find the faith to believe in Allah and His messenger once again… I seem to have lost it all. I don’t know how to get to the state I use to be in.
I know what most of you probably will say…
Listen to lectures - but it doesn’t interest me at all… don’t take this the wrong, most lectures out there speak about the rules and etc, not something that is appealing to me at the moment as I need something for my faith… if you know any good lectures please give it to me.
Keep listening to the Quran – this used to move my heart but today I don’t feel anything at all. I can barely find time to listen to the Quran and even if I do I still don’t want to. It feels horrible for me to say this…
Keep praying – once again… I don’t feel anything at all. I am just making movements, is this what it is all about?
Make duaa – how can I make duaa when I’m not sincere? When I’m not even believing in what I am saying?
I’m so scared… I don’t know what to do.
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You don't mention any specific reason that has brought on this change.
Allah tells us that he comes running to us if we go walking to him. If we don't make any effort, then things will not change.
Thus, I would advise that you take the first step and sincerely ask for guidance.
It is my belief that if you are genuinely looking for guidance, then you will be granted it. If there has been something about Islam that has put you off and caused you to put on a defensive 'rebellious' approach, you will not find any guidance.
Get rid of all preconceptions, keep an open mind and pure heart and consciously ask from your heart: 'Oh Allah, guide me'.
Don't do things half-heartedly. Believe that you are asking for guidance from a real being. This means talk to Allah as though you would talk to a real person, with a sense of definitiveness.
I don't know if there are any specific changes that have brought this. I mean, I guess it happened over time slowly and gradually... I've let myself do certain things which aren’t allowed and slowly I started going from despising these things and trying to stay away from sinning to actually accepting and enjoying it. I know, it is sickening…
I want to make an effort. But where do I start? Do I do these things even though as I mentioned I don’t feel anything at all hoping that one day it will just come? And about asking Allah, like I said I want this in my mind, but I can’t feel it in my heart… I don’t think have the sincere intentions in my heart to turn to Allah. But I want it, that’s all I know. I’m missing emotions at the moment.
Please pray for me.
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As we know Imaan fluctuates Its like a plant who needs water, nourishment. Without Dhikr, Salah, distancing urself from bad company it'll become stale n weaken. Don't become dishearten it can be fixed with the remembrance of Allah.
Start back from the basics, Tawheed! Ask urself ur purpose in this life, why were u created? Its to worship Allah alone.
Re-new ur intention n be sincere, the best way to purify ur heart is with salah InshaAllah. Understand as much as u can of the Quraan, when u read it read it with an open heart n in the hope to receive guidence from Allah.
Listening to a lecture doesn't necessarily change anyone, it's the willingness that comes from ur heart that can bring the change Allah willing. May Allah guide u ameen. You have to want this, need it, make it ur focus. I will also remind u to make dua, plenty of dua. Pour ur heart out to Allah, ask him to guide u n distance u from all falsehood ameen.
“Truly, God does not change the condition of a people until they change what is in themselves.”
(Quran 13:11)
Learn Patience from Asiyah, Loyalty from Khadijah, Sincerity from Aisha and Steadfastness from Fatima.
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