Why is this world such a cold place?

[anonymous]

I don't even know why people try to delude themselves into thinking that they are happy because 'they have it better' than others. Why are some people so hateful I see homeless children and elderly people in the street when ever I go to college it breaks my heart to see them. They are good people and they're as human as anyone else so why doesn't anyone talk to them. I've been bullied through out my life since I was very little this lead to me being very shy and socially awkward I honestly couldn't find a single person I can relate to and rarely does anyone act genuinely nice; what's wrong how can someone be so heartless life isn't that great why do people act like it is. Children are dying everyday because of poverty and hunger yet they are dissmissed as if they never existed. I'm almost twenty years old but I never had a single 'friend' in my life although I don't harm people nor am I an aggressive person. I figured I should stop talking alltogether since no one is interested in getting to know me. I just don't understand how someone can feel so alone in a world filled with tons of different people. And eventhough I did have a friend and I was so happy when I made one this 'friend' of mine always used to comment on how 'wierd' and different I am which eventually lead to her leaving me. My only friends are my hobbies and people I randomly say hi to in the street. I don't believe there is something wrong with me but some people aparently do because I'm not the type who talks all the time or laughs when someone make an offensive and hurtful comment is this my sin? is that why I am bound to be totally secluded. I can't open to anyone anymore I don't trust anyone I say to my self 'if this is how they treat you now when you're completely healthy and normal I wonder how they will treat me if anything unfortunate happens to me' may God forbid. I can't trust anyone I keep everythingabout me to my self whether it's good or bad and I never talk to anyone about my life. This is not addressed to anyone of any particular religion people are the same where ever you go regardless of the religion the call themselves to belong to. Tell me for heaven's sake why is this world such a cursed place to be in?. And I in all honestly am not in need of your telling me that I should become a better muslim, God knows of me more than you do and citing ayahs about belivers having a blessed life wont help in any way so please be kind enough to actually read my post as an individual humanbeing. I used to be a member here but I left this forum I couldn't stay anymore.

[anonymous]

Thank you for allowing me to post.

[Qurratul Ayn]

Why are some people so hateful I see homeless children and elderly people in the street when ever I go to college it breaks my heart to see them. They are good people and they're as human as anyone else so why doesn't anyone talk to them.

Harsh realities of life, circumstances aren't good for everyone anywhere, their future shall be better.

I've been bullied through out my life since I was very little this lead to me being very shy and socially awkward I honestly couldn't find a single person I can relate to and rarely does anyone act genuinely nice; what's wrong how can someone be so heartless life isn't that great why do people act like it is.

That's very upsetting to hear that you were bullied. There are people out there, unbelievable as it may sound but there are, that are genuinely nice and kind people. Don't have such a pessimistic view, just because you had a distressing past, that does not need to affect your present and future, be better than that and be optimistic, try your ****ed hardest, it'll be worth it. I know

And eventhough I did have a friend and I was so happy when I made one this 'friend' of mine always used to comment on how 'wierd' and different I am which eventually lead to her leaving me.

Well, she should have been happy how different you are and that you're not the type of typical, generic, ridiculous human that the majority of this world is made up of. Her loss

My only friends are my hobbies and people I randomly say hi to in the street. I don't believe there is something wrong with me but some people aparently do because I'm not the type who talks all the time or laughs when someone make an offensive and hurtful comment is this my sin? is that why I am bound to be totally secluded.

No. And no. You will find friends that are good-hearted people, it will take time and they'll accept you for how you are, there is absolutely nothing wrong with not talking all the time and laughing when a pathetic person makes a crude comment. Just goes to show you're a decent person who isn't falling to their standards

I used to be a member here but I left this forum I couldn't stay anymore.

May I know who you used to be on the forum??? Please

Jokes, don't impart as you are anonymous

[anonymous]

Thank you sister Qurattalayn for replying, but I'm not concerned about my self as much as those people whom I see. And I don't really think it gets any better I was formerly known as may ayob.

[Alpha Dude]

I'm almost twenty years old but I never had a single 'friend' in my life although I don't harm people nor am I an aggressive person. I figured I should stop talking alltogether since no one is interested in getting to know me. I just don't understand how someone can feel so alone in a world filled with tons of different people.

You're socially awkward due to your past experiences and upbringing and that is perfectly fine and understandable.

A shy person usually expects others to make conversation and rarely makes the first move.

The problem is, most people don't know what it's like to be in your shoes. They are open and talkative and would never guess that what comes natural to them would be the toughest thing in the world for you to do. As a result of which, when they don't see you talking or approaching them or making a blatant effort to engage, their natural reaction would be to assume that you are either: a. being rude and/or b. not really interested in them.

So, I don't think it's necessarily them being hateful or rude or cold, it's just that they can't see or don't even realise it's not easy for you to be talkative. They've just made incorrect assumptions. Just as in the same way you assume they don't wish to get to know you, they assume you don't wish to know them.

I'm afraid the harsh truth is that you need to push yourself out there. You have to get over the barriers and make conscious effort to engage with others, if you want them to know you. People don't read minds and can't know what is in your heart if you don't talk.

Re. the coldness in the world, people are generally apathetic these days. In my opinion, it's the distractions of modern life (work, social, entertainment etc.) that have made people blind to the harsh realities you mention.

[anonymous]

I guess no one really cares, just to clarify things I'm not angry at anyone here or anywhere else. I accept people for who they are even those whom are very different from me I don't have a preconceived perception of how and what an ideal person should be and yet I still feel this world is a dark and lethal place I get to go back home and sleep in my bed while the elderly man I almost see on a daily basis sleeps on the ground near a slum area. and surprisingly many people pass by and turn him the blind eye as if they didn't see anything laughing out loud or walking with their 'loved' ones,if someone is that capable of loving why can't they share this love with everyone and not just a selected few.

[anonymous]

Thank you brother Alpha dude that was very kind of you; but I do go out I spend most of my week days out I try to make small talk but that's as far as it gets thank you anyway I appreciate it may Allah reward you and everyone else who participated.

[Alpha Dude]

I guess no one really cares

It's only been a couple of hours. Sometimes people don't know what to say, even if they would sincerely like to help. Also, keep in mind the general activity level on this forum has waned. It's unlikely you'd get many responses.

However, it's nothing to do with not caring. I wouldn't think that.

[جوري]

our happiness shouldn't be contingent on circumstance. To be quite honest I don't know who are 'they'?

they have it better

I think we're always meant to look at those less fortunate than we are and that should probably constitute 90% of humanity at large.
should be enough for us. Life beats us all around it breaks some of us, some of us end up dreaming a little smaller and some hang tough and steadfast.
I urge you to think of people whose reality is this:

and billions of others and it will put things in proper perspective. Your life shouldn't revolve around one person or one family who has it better than you and you should certainly not seek validation.
Also friendship should be cultivated... people aren't going to befriend a total stranger. Try to forge relationships with people at the mosque or your work or school through those things in which you've common interests.

If it weren't haram to speak of amanat that folks have entrusted you as a secret you'd be truly surprised by how difficult most people on this board have it. And how their only sustenance is their beliefs in God.. Yes on this forum you'd find everything from folks who have been raped, to those molested, to those thrown out by their families, to those whose fathers disowned them, to those fired and indebted, divorced, orphaned and many a combination of all.
This is just the suffering wo/man is meant to endure and that's how:

Al-Imran (The Family of Imran)[3:142] [RECITE]

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Am hasibtum an tadkhuloo aljannata walamma yaAAlami Allahu allatheena jahadoo minkum wayaAAlama alssabireena

3:142 Did ye think that ye would enter Heaven without Allah testing those of you who fought hard (In His Cause) and remained steadfast?


exams are always difficult and many indeed fail. I think it is a choice how we prepare and how we fight.

[anonymous]

Sister Shaden thank you for taking the time to reply. You seem to assume that I live in a western country or something near that where. Actually I live ina third world country and I am typically one of those people who don't have much of the privilages you seem to think I do. And by the way you didnt need to post that picture because I see similar things everyday of my life living inthe west is nothing like living in a third world country and most people here live under a dollar a day. I am not objecting to the

[anonymous]

I am not objecting to the will of God but ofcourse it would be very hard to explain it feels. I dont have pity for people I think pity is disrespect and maybe that little child upthere in the photo would have felt exploited having her picture spread around so people can feel pity for here and that is as far as it actaully gets people feeling bad for you but secretly thank God that they are not in your miserable podition which is exactly what I meant by 'they'. Its also dehumanizing to think that thislittle girl is miserable znd has no hope in life I dont believe this and I knowyour not saying that but why should anyone feel good about them selves because theyre not in someone elses shoes how is that good.

[جوري]

I have made no assumption to where you live- just that no matter how bad it is, there's always someone worse off than you.
If the pictures are offensive I'll remove them but I'd like to remind you that while you've internet to type how badly you feel others don't even have light or a candle stick or something to put in their belly (also it isn't a question of feeling good about that) rather that we are required in Islam to look at those less fortunate than those who are better off!.... situation isn't that better in the west either where there's a complete economic collapse and high all time unemployment rate.
What they show on TV typically doesn't reflect reality- just what they want the world to believe of capitalism especially when they're waging a war against any ideology that stands in the way. They're not gonna come right out on TV and say wow this sucks.. there's only 2% uber rich and comfortable and the rest are living on food stamps.
I don't mean you offense by anything I've written or even intend to exercise what some call tough love. Just that to someone looking from the outside we tend to be more objective and stratify things in terms of severity - I am not by any means belittling what you're going through and I understand that it is devastating for you and do apologize if that is how it came across but I think for the most part you can fix what you can and leave the rest for the creator and generally try to temper all of this with the knowledge that life is temporary and what is more important is how we rank before God not before people.. and whatever the condition of a Muslim is, it is a good one..

[anonymous]

And my life most certainly is not revolved around anyone who has better do you really think I am envious I would never wish to be in their places nor am I dreaming to. And those situations in those pictures are what my whole thread is really about.

[anonymous]

My internet acces is time restricted It's only available for limited time. You dont have to be rich to get internet acces uni libraries and little cafes down the street offer them for a price thats within the reach of most people just like cell phones were once exclusively for the privilged people in small villages hzve them nowadays.

[جوري]

I can't trust anyone

do you really think I am envious

I have made no assumptions on your person I only comment on what you've written.
Let me ask you this without it coming out brash- whose fault is it that you can't trust anyone? and do you see that this lack of trust translates to other aspects of your relationships and how you deal with people for instance assuming what others think when they don't even have a clue who you're?
Do you want to get to the root of your feelings or simply looking for words of affirmation as to how awful the world is, how people are untrustworthy how some think they have it better or how they look down on you for one reason or another and in the end if one doesn't offer the sort of advise you're inclined to given your closing statement:

I should become a better muslim,

to denote that no one cares..
from my perspective everyone here will end up walking on egg shells not to offend your sensibilities and if they offer advise at all, it will be construed with some preconceived notions since you've already set the conditions all throughout to what your expectations are.

[anonymous]

Which figures how pathetic I was to even start a thread. I apologize just keep in mind though;you are not me and you don't know what it feels like to be me. I happen to not have trust in people because I lack trust in my self and people are not bad I don't think of them as such I am just detached and disconnected because I didn't belong with people....I didn't mean to be condescending when I said don't ask me to be a better muslim, Im trying my hardest to and it's not that easy. For the people being untrust worthy part I don't believe that I don't need affirmation from anyone to self my worth and I don't care if anyone looks down at me I don't feel any shame for being who I am and how manytimes do I have to say that I'm not looking at those having it better I think that some people just try to act like they have it better because they actually don't that's why I used the word deluded. May God have mercy on all people I hope you a blessed life sister shaden and eternal happiness.

[جوري]

I have been trying to find you this story for the past half an hour, I just watched it last week. About An African American woman who for all intents and purposes was treated very poorly most of her life, eventually got fired from a job she hated and used her severance pay to do what she liked which is write books about african Americans for children. Of course she was again met with much rejection, her attitude which is what I really loved about this woman even though I read none of her books was whenever she met with a rejection she would say ''It is ok honey if you don't like me and you don't like my book, I know somebody out there will''
and she just kept going.. What choice do we have but to do that, keep going and meet with whatever challenges that come our way with an open heart.

Don't fall into this vacillating trap of passive/aggressive behavior of guilt and bitterness, I mean it happens to all of us but why would you let the ways of the devil as it is his known methodology which he has perfected for millenniums before we were born and until the end of time govern your life and define who you're and your outlook.
You know I have never heard anyone say. I was accepted in school, I was ever so popular, everyone loved me, I was never a pariah, I passed all my exams, I am so rich, and powerful and happy and everyone loves me, I have never gone hungry, I was always in perfect health, I have friends galore.. that would not be a human being but some sort of miracle. I'd love to meet with such a person.
Truth is, you're not as different or as unique in your life's circumstance to most people- it is only a question of how we deal with these challenges.
And has already taught us how to deal with this rijs of shytaan when it happens.

Inna allatheena ittaqaw itha massahum taifun mina alshshaytani tathakkaroo faitha hum mubsiroona

7:201 Those who fear Allah, when a thought of evil from Satan assaults them, bring Allah to remembrance, when lo! they see (aright)!

we ALL and I use the term quite liberally & freely and with conviction to tell you we are all experiencing what you experience to a certain degree.. it is a matter of how we deal with it. It is all in the attitude..
Do I want to be weak & succumb to the whispers that compound every last bad thing that happened to me since 1984 or can I compartmentalize that in myarmamentarium and learn new ways to deal with the next challenge that comes...

[anonymous]

Sister Shaden thank you very much. Inever claimed I was unique or different I mentioned my friend thought of me as weird which is different from unique and please dont think of me so badly no one I know would think I would write such an OP because people dont think this ishow i feel. I know you have good intentions but I wasnt complaining about how i feel about my life I was trying to express how cold this world can sometimes be. Also if I can say please consider other peoples feelings before addressing them as having guilt and bitterness or passive aggressive behavior these words are not kind nor do they make people improve themselves even if they had such qualities...

[جوري]

I don't think of you badly at all.. sister as I stated I don't know who you're and even if I did it wouldn't change my replies any. The human experience in my book doesn't translate to some moral dilemma. I am only gathering data from what I see written.
I chose 'unique' deliberately because I find strange offensive, but I can't apologize for the other terms because that is how the posts come across at least to me.
I don't know if the question you posed is written in rhetoric or as a vent I assumed otherwise given your previous statement about people not caring to which bro. Alpha replied that it wasn't the case.

So I am actually hoping this would be more of a constructive criticism in anon mode and you're most welcome to disagree with me- I am offering my perspective with one goal in mind which isn't to make you feel bad but to get you to see your situation from another's perspective might it alleviate some of your anguish .. of course no one knows you better than you.. it is only my human effort.

[Hamza Asadullah]

This world is created as a place of misery for the believers. It is a prison for us. A place that should be detested by all believers. A cruel and unjust world. It is surrounded by pleasures for those who have love for this world and a place of much misery and anguish for those who are seeking the Hereafter.

We must internalise in our minds that this world is only created as a testground. It is not a place that we should put all of our effort into. But just as much effort so as to support ourselves and families. We should stop concentrating on how others live their lives and how they treat other people and concentrate more on how we live our own lives and how we treat those around us. That is what we will be accounted for. What we did with regards to our actions. We will not be accountable for other peoples actions although their actions may affect us and sadden us.

Therefore we must concentrate and focus our attention and efforts into doing everything to plesse Allah and avoiding that which displeases him. We must fulfil our obligations unto him and thank him much as he loves those who are apprecitive. We must repent and beg of his mercy and forgiveness for he lives those who ask of him for his abundant mercy.

We must treat others around us in the best of manner just as our beloved Prophet ( Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam). It is better to have no friends than to have friends who will lead us astray and take us towards Jahannam. For bad friends will be our enemies on the day of judgement. The less we talk the better as the tongue is such a muscle that it is one of the biggest factors of taking many Muslims to Hell. So it is a good quality to talk less often. Instead we should use our tongue for inviting towards Allah and to glorify him and ask of him.

So ask of Allah to find you good pious company. If you are able to marry then marry a pious partner so that you may comfort one another and be a garment unto one another. If you are currently unable to marry then work towards marriage as Allah helps those who make sincere effort and have good intentions.

So the best advice i can give myself and others is to treasure each and every second in doing and saying that which will please Allah and avoid doing and saying that which will displease him. To have concern for our Ummah but to concentrate on our own lives and doing our best to help those around us particularly the poor and destitute rather than to look at how other people treat those around them.

We ONLY have this one chance in this short life of ours to build our Hereafter so let us do good so that we can continue laying the bricks of our place in Jannah. The more good we do the more we will have to enjoy in our eternal place in Jannah where all misery will be no more. A place of eternal happiness for the believers. A place where there will be no hatred or enmity. A place of pure bliss and joy. A place where we can see the beautiful face of our creator, some of us everyday depending on our actions. A place where we will have friends amongst the Prophets and Sahaba. Where we can be with our familys without any family grudges and frictions etc. Where evil and suffering will be no more. An end to all misery and pain. A place where there is ONLY pleasure joy and happiness. This will not be for a short while but FOREVER!

Let us renew our intentions and focus. Forget what has past and learn from it. Concentrate on NOW as tomorrow may never come. Focus on our own actions as we will only be accountable for ourselves.

Oh Allah give us the best of this world and the next and make us of those who you are pleased with in this world and the next for NOTHING is more pleasing to us than your pleasure and happiness. Ameen