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I often observe characters of members here through what and how they write the posts. And to be honest, I found a sister with attractive character. But although I am widower I never think to approach that sister because I don't want to ruin the good relationship between me and her that has been built in this forum. I have learned from the mistake I made in early of my teenage when I approached my mother friend's daughter, and it ruined my good relationship with that girl.
It would become a big trouble if I tried to approach a sister here and got rejected because It would make me ashamed if I still stayed in the forum. It's hard for me if I must leave the forum due to this cause.
But how if I was lucky and the sister in forum accepted me?. Then I would face another problem because I live in another side of the world. It could cause a problem because I don't want to leave my country and this sister probably doesn't want t leave her country. Yeah, my life experiences teach me to always thinking long before doing something.
Now I have a good reason to not try to find a wife in forum. I have found someone in my place, and now I am trying to make my children understand that I intend to remarry.
I often observe characters of members here through what and how they write the posts. And to be honest, I found a sister with attractive character. But although I am widower I never think to approach that sister because I don't want to ruin the good relationship between me and her that has been built in this forum. I have learned from the mistake I made in early of my teenage when I approached my mother friend's daughter, and it ruined my good relationship with that girl.
It would become a big trouble if I tried to approach a sister here and got rejected because It would make me ashamed if I still stayed in the forum. It's hard for me if I must leave the forum due to this cause.
But how if I was lucky and the sister in forum accepted me?. Then I would face another problem because I live in another side of the world. It could cause a problem because I don't want to leave my country and this sister probably doesn't want t leave her country. Yeah, my life experiences teach me to always thinking long before doing something.
Now I have a good reason to not try to find a wife in forum. I have found someone in my place, and now I am trying to make my children understand that I intend to remarry.
I already messaged a sister here and got rejected, but I am not ashamed and will keep posting here.
Rather try to find a good Muslim girl to marry in your own locality. Trying to find a wife over the internet is a bad idea. How do you even know that the person you are messaging is a woman? Remember what they say: "On the internet, the men are men, the women are men, and the children are the FBI."
You might go on a chat site and message a "sister from London". Meanwhile, the "sister" is a burly man with a beard living in Pakistan.
On the whole, finding a wife in your own locality is better. If you have any female members of your family you can get in contact with, ask them to look on your behalf.
format_quote Originally Posted by Huzaifah ibn Adam
How do you even know that the person you are messaging is a woman? Remember what they say: "On the internet, the men are men, the women are men, and the children are the FBI."
Innit. For all we know, I could be a 64 year old fat bald man from India
Okay, I have a related question. I went to a masjid for the first time and I'll admit, I was curious to see if I would meet any men there that I might want to marry. But with the segregation of the sisters and the brothers, I had no chance to barely even look at the men except the backs of their heads (I would have averted my gaze anyway but you know what I mean). How in the world are we even supposed to meet the opposite sex to see if there might me a chance of marriage when we are kept separated so thoroughly?
Oh, and by the way, I am a short Indian man currently living in Bolivia.
Okay, I have a related question. I went to a masjid for the first time and I'll admit, I was curious to see if I would meet any men there that I might want to marry. But with the segregation of the sisters and the brothers, I had no chance to barely even look at the men except the backs of their heads (I would have averted my gaze anyway but you know what I mean). How in the world are we even supposed to meet the opposite sex to see if there might me a chance of marriage when we are kept separated so thoroughly?
Oh, and by the way, I am a short Indian man currently living in Bolivia.
Usually, introductions are initially made through the contacts of family and friends. For example, you could ask some sisters if they know a pious and righteous brother who is looking to get married, and then inshaAllah say a chaperoned meeting could then be arranged, and matters taken from there.
That's how I have seen it done the vast majority of the time.
And, if we're here revealing our true identities, I'm the greasy owner of the local chippie.
Men and women have different way of thinking. So if you aware you can know that a poster is a man or a woman, from what he/she write in the post. But the problem is you will not know that this person is beautiful/handsome or not until you see her/him.
Okay, I will reveal the bad habit of men. Men usually judge a woman by her beauty. Often happen, a man interested to meet a woman who he has never seen just because he is attracted to her voice in phone, or what she write on a media. But when this man meet this woman and see that she is not beautiful, immediately he will seek a reason to run away.
This is what make me worry about a man looking for spouse in forum. A brother maybe interested to a sister who he has never seen before, and then start to approach her. But when finally he see this sister through photo and video, and he think this sister is not beautiful enough, he will seek a reason to run away. And it will break this sister heart if she already hope for this brother.
Men and women have different way of thinking. So if you aware you can know that a poster is a man or a woman, from what he/she write in the post. But the problem is you will not know that this person is beautiful/handsome or not until you see her/him.
Okay, I will reveal the bad habit of men. Men usually judge a woman by her beauty. Often happen, a man interested to meet a woman who he has never seen just because he is attracted to her voice in phone, or what she write on a media. But when this man meet this woman and see that she is not beautiful, immediately he will seek a reason to run away.
This is what make me worry about a man looking for spouse in forum. A brother maybe interested to a sister who he has never seen before, and then start to approach her. But when finally he see this sister through photo and video, and he think this sister is not beautiful enough, he will seek a reason to run away. And it will break this sister heart if she already hope for this brother.
This is very true. I have, I am told, a very nice speaking voice, and I worked live on the radio for several years. On occasion a listener would become infatuated with my voice and come to the studio to see me, and Alhamduillah, they always left disappointed. There is a saying in radio that there is no such thing as a skinny DJ, and I fit that (rather large) profile.
Oddly enough I started dropping weight as soon as I went off the air, though I spend just as much time in front of the computer as I used to, if not moreso with my classes. Maybe microphones make people fat.
This is very true. I have, I am told, a very nice speaking voice, and I worked live on the radio for several years. On occasion a listener would become infatuated with my voice and come to the studio to see me, and Alhamduillah, they always left disappointed. There is a saying in radio that there is no such thing as a skinny DJ, and I fit that (rather large) profile.
Oddly enough I started dropping weight as soon as I went off the air, though I spend just as much time in front of the computer as I used to, if not moreso with my classes. Maybe microphones make people fat.
Apart from matter about men and women, I have experience about voice and physical appearance. When I started my business I often talked with a guy in head office on phone. After few months I came to head office and met him for the first time. But I was surprissed because he was different than my imagination. I always imagined him as tall muscular guy. However, the guy who I met was a skinny guy with glasses. But then I realized why I imagined him like that. His voice remind me to my friend who indeed tall and muscular. So I took my friend as model when I imagined how the guy in head office look like.
People often make imagination when they hear someone voice without seeing this person. But they always take someone else who they know as model in imagining this person. So when they finally see this person, they realize this person is different than their imagination. It can be happen too with people who read someone's posts in forum.
I am sure, many people in IB ever imagined how does Ardianto look like. But I guess, if they really see me, many of them will realize that I look different than their imagination.
Well we have many similarities so I thought maybe she would be interested, but the message I sent was a bit awkward and she did not respond, oh well. Plenty of fish in the sea.
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This would be very enjoying, I would do this even for this cause
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