may Allah reward all the brothers and sisters who make effort to help
I am need of help, 7 years ago i turned to Islam as a way of life, i lived a Islamic way of life for 3 years but due to hardship i turned away from Allah. This has led me to being depressed fo 4 years and falling my degree (mainly to do with priority in life and motivation). i have also thought of suicide 3-4 times but my belief that suicide is a one way ticket to hellfire makes me stop. Everytime i try to turn back to Islam i think of the immense hardship and this turns me back to a non-Islamic way of life. I have tried at least 7-8 times but due to my lack of taqwa i always give up.
The hardship i feel mainly comes from my understanding of what a human can do to give dawah to muslims and non-muslims. I feel a burden to give dawah to every person in my family, friends, street and university. i also feel pressure to perfect my knowledge and understanding of the quran and hadith. I also feel a burden to succeed in life which i know myself is not my purpose in life. When i lived a Islamic way of life before i had a understanding that Allah does not accept half Islam and i must either live a complete way of life or give up. Can some brothers and sisters help me please!
My second help that i need comes from my understanding of Islam. As someone who does not know Arabic i cant open the quran and understand something. Also because some hadiths are strong and some weak i am not allowed to suddenly read a hadith and say that is the meaning. The best example is salah where many hadiths contradict each other from different madhabs but they are not wrong due to the hadith where the wrong person will get 1 reward and the right person 2 reward. Now can someone tell me on what basis can you agree on a mujtahid? i can only think of trust at the moment but is there anything else?
7 years ago i turned to Islam as a way of life, i lived a Islamic way of life for 3 years but due to hardship i turned away from Allah. This has led me to being depressed fo 4 years and falling my degree (mainly to do with priority in life and motivation).
Greetings Brother
the following verses summarise what happened to you....
The holy Quran
[29:2] Do the people think that they will be left to say, "We believe," without being put to the test?
[29:3] We have tested those before them, for GOD must distinguish those who are truthful, and He must expose the liars.
The holy Quran
20:124 "But whosoever turns away from My Message, verily for him is a life narrowed down.
Everytime i try to turn back to Islam i think of the immense hardship and this turns me back to a non-Islamic way of life. I have tried at least 7-8 times but due to my lack of taqwa i always give up.
[U]The hardship i feel mainly comes from my understanding of what a human can do to give dawah to muslims and non-muslims. I feel a burden to give dawah to every person in my family, friends, street and university.
Sadly brother you have been victimized by a famous Satanic whispering (waswasah)
one of Satan's tricks with the New converts and other muslims as well, he tries by all means to convice the new convert that he should be a model of perfection,and the burden of dawah to all the creatures under earth is upon his shoulders !!! ignoring the fact that new convert is still in need for dawah ,before thinking of preaching it to others.........
I also feel pressure to perfect my knowledge and understanding of the quran and hadith. When i lived a Islamic way of life before i had a understanding that Allah does not accept half Islam and i must either live a complete way of life or give up.
And where is such pressure to perfect your knowledge and understanding of the quran and hadith?
Is it from Allah?
Allah never force or gets pressure on A muslim to perfect his,her knowledge and understanding of the quran and hadith,let alone A convert..!!!!
you can live whole your life with imperfect knowledge and understanding of the quran and hadith,and still be a pious muslim as long as you follow the basics of the Quran which is so obvious and need no profound study etc.....
Allah does not accept half Islam ,BUT he accepts half a muslim !!!
you know what I mean?....
The Holy Quran:
4:31 If ye (but) eschew the most heinous of the things which ye are forbidden to do, We shall expel out of you all the evil in you, and admit you to a gate of great honour.
another translation:
[4:31] If you refrain from committing the gross sins that are prohibited for you, we will remit your sins, and admit you an honorable admittance.
The Holy Quran:
39:53 Say: "O my Servants who have transgressed against their souls! Despair not of the Mercy of Allah. for Allah forgives all sins: for He is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.
As someone who does not know Arabic i cant open the quran and understand something. Also because some hadiths are strong and some weak i am not allowed to suddenly read a hadith and say that is the meaning. The best example is salah where many hadiths contradict each other from different madhabs but they are not wrong due to the hadith where the wrong person will get 1 reward and the right person 2 reward. Now can someone tell me on what basis can you agree on a mujtahid? i can only think of trust at the moment but is there anything else?
Brother, ease your mind .........
the differences between madhabs are slight and never touch the basics,and the Internet is full of books on hadith science in English ..
Read this unique book on Salat and take a look on what basis can you agree on a mujtahid
Salam Imam, thank you for your reply, may allah reward you for your help. Today i will not sleep until i turn back to Islam, may allah guide me and every muslim!
i would just like to add that you are expecting perfection from yourself - something even goes does not require.
be gentle with yourself. things don't come all at once - they come little by little.
each man thinks of his own fleas as gazelles
question authority
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