I read about why polygamy was allowed, and after much blah blah blah in familiar muslem style about the other religions doing it too, they claimed that there were more women than men in the society, therefore polygamy was practical. It is statistically correct, but there's lies, damned lies and statistics you know..
From birth there are born more men than women. Because men has worse health than women, there becomes more women than men when they are about 50 years old... And women above 50 years rarely get married.
It is true as they say, that there are more men killed during wars than women, but when they are using examples from the western world afterwards, the observant reader will understand something is flawed...
After having read the first answer, I decided I had better things to do.
And as an interesting question: Qatar has 185 males to 100 females; why not allow females to have more than one husband?(No, the answers provided in the FAQ were not logical)
It isn't about attacking our tawheed anymore even.
If you carefully examine the questions you can see how it is just about attacking things and bring doubts. They want to start this game with us but you know we can't play by their rules.
We should always turn the tables and call them right back to tawheed so that they have to play by our rules.
I read about why polygamy was allowed, and after much blah blah blah in familiar muslem style about the other religions doing it too, they claimed that there were more women than men in the society, therefore polygamy was practical. It is statistically correct, but there's lies, damned lies and statistics you know..
From birth there are born more men than women. Because men has worse health than women, there becomes more women than men when they are about 50 years old... And women above 50 years rarely get married.
It is true as they say, that there are more men killed during wars than women, but when they are using examples from the western world afterwards, the observant reader will understand something is flawed...
After having read the first answer, I decided I had better things to do.
And as an interesting question: Qatar has 185 males to 100 females; why not allow females to have more than one husband?(No, the answers provided in the FAQ were not logical)
well if you look at the world at the time islam came you will find that poeple were marrying way more than 4 women even. it was the custom of the day to have lots of wives
islam actually limited the number DOWN to 4
besides i think children have the rights to know who their fathers are which would kinda be difficult if ur mom had more than one husband...
well if you look at the world at the time islam came you will find that poeple were marrying way more than 4 women even. it was the custom of the day to have lots of wives
islam actually limited the number DOWN to 4
besides i think children have the rights to know who their fathers are which would kinda be difficult if ur mom had more than one husband
well if you look at the world at the time islam came you will find that poeple were marrying way more than 4 women even. it was the custom of the day to have lots of wives
islam actually limited the number DOWN to 4
That means Islam was civilized a thousand years ago. But is todays standard not a little higher?
format_quote Originally Posted by marge1
besides i think children have the rights to know who their fathers are which would kinda be difficult if ur mom had more than one husband
Hello Herostratos,
What is 'uncivilized' about polygamy? :confused:
As for your question about why polygyny is allowed and not polyandry, there are numerous reasons. First of all, if every person in the relationship wishes to have a child, this is possible in a polygynous relationship as each wife has her child, but it is not possible in a polyandrous relationship as there is only one person giving birth, thus putting all the burden on one individual, which is unfair. A man can spend equal intervals of time with each wife, while a woman would not be able to from pregnancy. At some point humans must acknowledge that men and women are different and they have different bodies, so while one arrangement may work out for men, it may not necessarily work out for women.
Does this answer your question?
The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said: "Surely I was sent to perfect the qualities of righteous character" [Musnad Ahmad, Muwatta Mâlik]
Hello Herostratos,
What is 'uncivilized' about polygamy? :confused:
Well, most societies promoting it have been very patriarchal, and I really think it is showing a disrespect for women... But, unlike you, I believe the personal relationships of grown up people should not be the issue of the society.
And anyways: If there's nothing wrong about polygamy, why only 4?
format_quote Originally Posted by Ansar Al-'Adl
As for your question about why polygyny is allowed and not polyandry, there are numerous reasons. First of all, if every person in the relationship wishes to have a child, this is possible in a polygynous relationship as each wife has her child, but it is not possible in a polyandrous relationship as there is only one person giving birth, thus putting all the burden on one individual, which is unfair.
In most industrialized countries, having children is not that important. If the men does not really care about not having that many children each, what's the problem then?
format_quote Originally Posted by Ansar Al-'Adl
A man can spend equal intervals of time with each wife, while a woman would not be able to from pregnancy.
A woman could spend equal time with her husbands as well... What do you mean?
format_quote Originally Posted by Ansar Al-'Adl
At some point humans must acknowledge that men and women are different and they have different bodies, so while one arrangement may work out for men, it may not necessarily work out for women.
So... You are in favour of forbidding it because it is impractical? Not to mention that sometimes it isn't, but is this not an issue between the men/women in question? Why shall the society regulate the most intimate affairs between grown-up people?
Well, most societies promoting it have been very patriarchal, and I really think it is showing a disrespect for women...
Why? How is a husband taking care of more women disrespectful? No one is forcing women to become someone's second wife and if they don't want their husband to have a second wife they can stipulate that condition in the marriage contract.
If anything, polyandry is desrespectful because it reduces a woman's function to reproduction (all the burden is on one individual).
But, unlike you, I believe the personal relationships of grown up people should not be the issue of the society.
But marriage is not personal, it is a public affair regulated by the government in most western countries which requires a marital contract. Cohabitation and marriage are not the same.
And anyways: If there's nothing wrong about polygamy, why only 4?
There is nothing wrong with polygamy so long as the man ensures that he is fair in his treatment of his wives and takes good care of all of them. The more wives, the harder this becomes and the less likely someone will be able to maintain such relationships so the Qur'an has restricted it to 4.
In most industrialized countries, having children is not that important. If the men does not really care about not having that many children each, what's the problem then?
But the same problem does not arise with polygyny so the Qur'an makes a distinction between polygyny and polyandry.
If there is no interest in having a family, then why the need to marry? A polygynous family can actually function as a family, while a polyandrous one cannot.
A woman could spend equal time with her husbands as well... What do you mean?
Women are not like men. Men do not get pregnant or have monthly cycles while women do, which will naturally affect their ability to sustain their relationships with multiple husbands. A man can visit each wife every day because their state and condition remains the same.
So... You are in favour of forbidding it because it is impractical?
Simply because it cannot function as a productive family and it would end up causing harm.
Regards
The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said: "Surely I was sent to perfect the qualities of righteous character" [Musnad Ahmad, Muwatta Mâlik]
Actually, polyandrous socieities have existed and done all right with family functions- they are just not the kind of families we are used to, just as to most in the West, polygynous families are not the kind of families we are used to. Back to the Naik's work in general: it does seem highly tailored to a South Asian context. Perhaps some could be developed more in line with what Western Europeans and those in the Americas find puzzling about Islam, that way, you have something with a broader reach.
"Hunger allows no choice
To the citizen or the police;
We must love one another or die."
September 1, 1939 - W.H. Auden
Actually, polyandrous socieities have existed and done all right with family functions
I have not denied that polyandrous families have existed, and I am aware of the cultural trend in amongst some groups in Tibet. My argument is that it is not a suitable arrangement because of the unfair burden it places on one individual in the relationship.
The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said: "Surely I was sent to perfect the qualities of righteous character" [Musnad Ahmad, Muwatta Mâlik]
As you have not denied that the FAQ has been using statistics in a very dishonest/ignorant way, I trust you will no longer recommend that site.
format_quote Originally Posted by Ansar Al-'Adl
Hello Herostratos,
Why? How is a husband taking care of more women disrespectful? No one is forcing women to become someone's second wife and if they don't want their husband to have a second wife they can stipulate that condition in the marriage contract.
The point I tried to make - although I admit it was a little unclear - was this: Polygamy is practical in countries where women are very dependent on a husband to survive, and where women does not have enough independency to demand that the male shall devote himself to her. Typically because most other men are poor, I'd guess. These countries are typically poor and uncivilized. Civilized cultures will inevitably become so rich that women can demand monogamy.
format_quote Originally Posted by Ansar Al-'Adl
But marriage is not personal, it is a public affair regulated by the government in most western countries which requires a marital contract. Cohabitation and marriage are not the same.
From dictionary.com:
1. Of, concerning, or affecting the community or the people: the public good.
2. Maintained for or used by the people or community: a public park.
3. Capitalized in shares of stock that can be traded on the open market: a public company.
4. Participated in or attended by the people or community: “Opinions are formed in a process of open discussion and public debate” (Hannah Arendt).
5. Connected with or acting on behalf of the people, community, or government: public office.
6. Enrolled in or attending a public school: transit passes for public students.
7. Open to the knowledge or judgment of all: a public scandal.
No, a marriage is none of the above
format_quote Originally Posted by Ansar Al-'Adl
There is nothing wrong with polygamy so long as the man ensures that he is fair in his treatment of his wives and takes good care of all of them. The more wives, the harder this becomes and the less likely someone will be able to maintain such relationships so the Qur'an has restricted it to 4.
There is no logic behind this. Some men must be able to deal fairly with more than 4 women, right? Why restrict those at all, if marrying and taking care of many women are a good thing?
Or, if you have to restrict the upper limit because some people will abuse it, why have a limit of 4 at all?
format_quote Originally Posted by Ansar Al-'Adl
If there is no interest in having a family, then why the need to marry? A polygynous family can actually function as a family, while a polyandrous one cannot.
I were not talking about not having children, I were talking about having a limited number of them. Say, each man got two each, not unnormal for an industrialized country, and the women will then give birth to four children, which is certainly not unusual in many muslem countries.
And exactly why is it that such a family cannot function as one?
format_quote Originally Posted by Ansar Al-'Adl
Women are not like men. Men do not get pregnant or have monthly cycles while women do, which will naturally affect their ability to sustain their relationships with multiple husbands. A man can visit each wife every day because their state and condition remains the same.
Are you serious? Your objection against polyandry is that the men in question would not get their desires satisfied??? What if the men in question simply accepts to not get to "visit" their wifes so often?
format_quote Originally Posted by Ansar Al-'Adl
Simply because it cannot function as a productive family and it would end up causing harm.
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