A learned person with more knowledge than me might be able to be of more help. However, this is from what I understand and have searched on islamqa. May Allah (swt) forgive me if I have made any mistakes is advising you and may He make it easy for you. Ameen.
First of all, you say you THINK you might have committed shirk. Perhaps it might help you to ask an imam or a mufti about this to make sure. From what I understand, shirk can only be committed if you fully intend it from the heart as well. The following link has some useful information about the different types of shirk we might commit and perhaps it might help you to identify if you did commit shirk.
As regards to repentence, what you need to remember is Allah (swt) is so Merciful and as long as you repent sincerely from your heart, insha Allah you will be forgiven.
I'm not sure if I can post links in messages but since I believe these will be helpful to you, I will post them here. Apologies to mods if I'm not meant to be doing so.
With regards to a ghusl, you might need to clarify that with someone else. I am not the best one to advise you on that since I always think I have committed kufr due to bad waswas I get and feel like I need to do ghusl. Hopefully another member with more knowledge than me will be able to guide you here.
What I would say is that, even for the biggest sins like shirk, Allah (swt) accepts our repentence because he is Merciful. Also, if possible, try to talk to an imam or someone about your particular problem and ask them whether it is shirk since you seem unsure if it is or not.
May Allah forgive you and make things easy for you. Ameen.
sometimes people may get thoughts of shirk due to wiswaas (whispers from the shaytaan, etc). so i think its best you seek the opinion of a local imam...tell him of your situation and he can tell if you have indeed committed skirk or if its just those type of whispers.
...desperate for husnul-khitaam...
please make dua that Allah grants me a good end (to my life). please make dua that Allah guides me.
sometimes people may get thoughts of shirk due to wiswaas (whispers from the shaytaan, etc). so i think its best you seek the opinion of a local imam...tell him of your situation and he can tell if you have indeed committed skirk or if its just those type of whispers.
My understanding is that we do not get held accountable for evil thoughts as long as they remain thought and we don't say it out loud (i.e believe in it and confirm it) and act upon it.
Brother, don't despair of Allah (swt)'s mercy because it is so vast.
I got this from the Hadith of the Day facebook app I have: Narrated Abu Hurairah: I heard Allah’s Messenger (peace be upon him) saying, “Verily, Allah created mercy. The day He created it, He made it into one hundred parts. He withheld with Him ninety-nine parts, and sent its one part to all His creatures. Had a disbeliever known of all the mercy which is in the Hands of Allah..., he would not have lost hope of entering Paradise, and had a believer known of all the punishment which is present with Allah, he would not have considered himself safe from the Hell-fire.” [Bukhari, Vol 8, Hadith No. 476]
Insha Allah it's okay for me to have pasted that there from the app page but it's so beautiful though.
You should never despair of Allah (swt)'s mercy. Brother I think it might help if you could talk to an imam or someone about your situation to clarify if you did commit shirk or not. Even if you did, you can repent insha Allah.
Pray two rakats of repentence and ask Allah (swt) for forgiveness. But please try to talk to someone about this who is more knowledgeable.
If it's just waswas, try to ignore it as much as you can Brother. Waswas can make people feel like they have committed really bad acts of kufr or shirk. I suffer from it myself and I panic a lot about whether I committed kufr or shirk. It's best to try and get an opinion on this matter. I have an online link provided to me by a Moderator which you can use to contact a Mufti if you can't talk to one in person. Let me know insha Allah.
I think that I have done shirk but I want to repent. Will Allah forgive me.
Engaging in shirk is bound to happen some time or other. What matters is that we recognize what we have done and then resolve not to do it again. The problem with shirk is that the deed that is done becomes invalid, so it doesn't have any weight on the scale on the Day of Judgment. We want our deeds to have weight and that's the reason why we should avoid shirk.
It is pointless to watch other people's houses crumbling when our own house is in need of repair and attention.
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