The Trouble With Boys

[Pure]

The Trouble With Boys

They're kinetic, maddening and failing at school. Now educators are trying new ways to help them succeed.

Jesse Chehak for Newsweek
Morning Assembly: Eagle students serve an hour detention if they’re late

By Peg Tyre
Newsweek

 

[Hayate]

Interesting article, but... I think they just need a good butt-whipping. I can see where the research is coming from but being from the same generation, I can say that for the most part, it is just a lack of discipline and work ethics.

 

[Pure]

yes... but have you read the entire article? because you are missing a lot of information to understanding the entire picture of what is really happening. Everyone knows the problem of boys not being able to sit still. The article is NOT talking about that. It is talking about a bigger issue.

 

[khushnood]

I dont need any research to know that boys are troublesome.the biggest troublemaker in my home is a guy,my bro, of course.:giggling:

 

[Pure]

The article is 4 pages with every line as an eye-opener to the issues and factors that are affecting boys. This is certainly a cause for concern and it is not just about boys not being able to sit still in class. If boys are disappearing from the education system, this can be a contributor to the problems society is facing such as crime rates, shootings, and the fatherless communities. Here are just some important facts from the article:

By almost every benchmark, boys across the nation and in every demographic group are falling behind. In elementary school, boys are two times more likely than girls to be diagnosed with learning disabilities and twice as likely to be placed in special-education classes. High-school boys are losing ground to girls on standardized writing tests. The number of boys who said they didn't like school rose 71 percent between 1980 and 2001, according to a University of Michigan study. Nowhere is the shift more evident than on college campuses. Thirty years ago men represented 58 percent of the undergraduate student body. Now they're a minority at 44 percent. This widening achievement gap, says Margaret Spellings, U.S. secretary of Education, "has profound implications for the economy, society, families and democracy."

Thirty years ago it was girls, not boys, who were lagging. The 1972 federal law Title IX forced schools to provide equal opportunities for girls in the classroom and on the playing field. Over the next two decades, billions of dollars were funneled into finding new ways to help girls achieve. In 1992, the American Association of University Women issued a report claiming that the work of Title IX was not done—girls still fell behind in math and science; by the mid-1990s, girls had reduced the gap in math and more girls than boys were taking high-school-level biology and chemistry.

For many boys, the trouble starts as young as 5, when they bring to kindergarten a set of physical and mental abilities very different from girls'. As almost any parent knows, most 5-year-old girls are more fluent than boys and can sight-read more words. Boys tend to have better hand-eye coordination, but their fine motor skills are less developed, making it a struggle for some to control a pencil or a paintbrush. Boys are more impulsive than girls; even if they can sit still, many prefer not to—at least not for long.

Thirty years ago feminists argued that classic "boy" behaviors were a result of socialization, but these days scientists believe they are an expression of male brain chemistry. Sometime in the first trimester, a boy fetus begins producing male sex hormones that bathe his brain in testosterone for the rest of his gestation. "That exposure wires the male brain differently," says Arthur Arnold, professor of physiological science at UCLA. How? Scientists aren't exactly sure. New studies show that prenatal exposure to male sex hormones directly affects the way children play.

Girls reach sexual maturity two years ahead of boys, but other, less visible differences put boys at a disadvantage, too. The prefrontal cortex is a knobby region of the brain directly behind the forehead that scientists believe helps humans organize complex thoughts, control their impulses and understand the consequences of their own behavior. In the last five years, Dr. Jay Giedd, an expert in brain development at the National Institutes of Health, has used brain scans to show that in girls, it reaches its maximum thickness by the age of 11 and, for the next decade or more, continues to mature. In boys, this process is delayed by 18 months.

One of the most reliable predictors of whether a boy will succeed or fail in high school rests on a single question: does he have a man in his life to look up to? Too often, the answer is no. High rates of divorce and single motherhood have created a generation of fatherless boys. In every kind of neighborhood, rich or poor, an increasing number of boys—now a startling 40 percent—are being raised without their biological dads.

 

[------]

:salamext:

I just saw the title and thought, so whats new?

 

[chacha_jalebi]

bla bla

detention neva works, i actually enjoyd detentions was wit my friends and we dint hav to go lesson jus sat outside headteacha office messin bout aaah those wer the days

 

[zaria]

As Salaamu Alaikum,

This is a good article. I am a single mother with a teenage son who I would like to just knock some sense into his head but i came to the understanding that I can knock all the sense I want to and he is still not going to get the picture from me. A mother can raise a son to have understanding, respect, etc. But A MAN CAN ONLY SHOW HIM HOW TO BE A MAN. I can not do that. I can show him and pray that he follow all what I have shown him to be a human being because of what I know but I don't know how to be a man and that's a big difference. I am not saying at all that he won't be a man if he don't have a man figure but I am saying he could be a better man with that figure.May Allah forgive me for anything that I have said wrong.

May Allah guide our young brother and sisters towards doing the right thing to worship Allah Ta'ala alone and follow our beautiful Prophet (saaw). Ameen. We are in a time where our children are dieing senselessness. Where peer pressure is a sigificant role in their lives and where they think they know it all. This is why I love Jawala/Alimah scouts programs.

 

[chacha_jalebi]

^its true what you said to an extent sista, but you dont need a male figure to be a man.

look at them ppl that turn out to be gay, they have male figures but stil turn out gay lol


From what ive seen i think if a boy dnt hav a father figure he tends to be more tough cos he feels lik he has to be the man of the house, if ya get me

 

[Pk_#2]

AWW POOR BROTHERS,

make EXTRA dua for them lol

Peace

 

[zaria]

^its true what you said to an extent sista, but you dont need a male figure to be a man.

I did say a boy can become a man without a male figure but he can be a better man with that MAN figure.


look at them ppl that turn out to be gay, they have male figures but stil turn out gay lol

This is where I say peer pressure, because everyone else is doing it comes in and how young children think they know it all.


From what ive seen i think if a boy dnt hav a father figure he tends to be more tough cos he feels lik he has to be the man of the house, if ya get me

Which is true in some cases. Each situation is different. My son wants to be the man of my house but he can't pay bills so he can only be the mature young man he is and do what is expected of him and that is go to school and get his education and respect and love first Allah (swt), himself than me. with that he could be the best at whatever he puts is mine too but I can not show him how to be a good husband, a wonderful father (not a wonderful parent because i can show him that) a good benefit to the ummah. etc. I say this from experience. My son is my heart and his a wonderful child but certain things I can not teach but I again (Allah Alim) and this is only my opinion.

 

[Pure]

A father figure is important. Those boys who have father, do not necessarily mean that these fathers were active in their lives. If the fathers were distant or they did not have a father figure, this is part of the vulnerability that can lead a child to homosexuality. This is an informative article:

How Might Homosexuality Develop?
Putting the Pieces Together

Dear sister, your intentions are beautiful. Keep striving to do you best and inshallah everything will be just fine You have made Islam your home, this influence will have an excellent effect on your son.

 

[zaria]

Dear sister, your intentions are beautiful. Keep striving to do you best and inshallah everything will be just fine You have made Islam your home, this influence will have an excellent effect on your son.[/QUOTE]

Shukran

Jazakallah Khairun

 

[SirZubair]

bla bla

detention neva works, i actually enjoyd detentions was wit my friends and we dint hav to go lesson jus sat outside headteacha office messin bout aaah those wer the days

I wish you went to your English classes, you might have learnt to spell properly.

But yeah, as for the point you are trying to make,.. lol, i agree. I loved being in detention too,. when i wasn't issued tickets to the detention room, i was suspended from school. :rollseyes

 

[Talha777]

It is 100% the parents fault. If they take an active interest in making sure their children are doing their studying and not wasting their time with other friends, this problem wouldn't exist. Divorce is a major contribution. A single mother working will always result in the neglect of the children, who need a strong father figure to ensure discipline in their house. In America, according to statistics I know, half of marriages end in divorce or separation.

Another factor, which when coupled with lack of discipline from parents will lead to disaster is lack of discipline in schools.

 

[barney]

A Hadith
Book 2, Number 0495:
Narrated Abdullah ibn Amr ibn al-'As:

The Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him) said: Command your children to pray when they become seven years old, and beat them for it (prayer) when they become ten years old; and arrange their beds (to sleep) separately.

 

[NoName55]

A Hadith
Book 2, Number 0495:
Narrated Abdullah ibn Amr ibn al-'As:

The Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him) said: Command your children to pray when they become seven years old, and beat them for it (prayer) when they become ten years old; and arrange their beds (to sleep) separately.

to add to that, the Ahl-al-kitaab version


Proverbs 29:15 “The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left [to himself] bringeth his mother to shame.”

Proverbs 13:24
"He that spareth the rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him correcteth him betimes."

Proverbs 22:15
"Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, and the rod of correction will drive it away."

Proverbs 23:13
"Withold not correction from a child: for if thou strike him with a rod, he shall not die."

 

[barney]

Yeah, Forgot where those were. Thanks.

The West only got rid of Caning 30 years ago. Terrible really.

 

[Muezzin]

The topic title is 'The Trouble with Boys', not 'The Trouble with Blacks'. If members wish to discuss the latter, I suggest they choose another website.