sharing a bed with the same gender

Islam enjoined separating children in their beds, as Abu Dawood (418) narrated from ‘Amr ibn Shu’ayb, from his father, that his grandfather said:


The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Teach your children to pray when they are seven years old and smack them if they do not do it when they are ten, and separate them in their beds.”

Al-Daaraqutni and al-Haakim narrated from Sabrah ibn Ma’bad that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “When your children reach the age of seven years, separate their beds and when they reach the age of ten, smack them if they do not pray.” This hadeeth was classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami’, no. 418.


The scholars explained separating them in their beds as meaning two things:

1 – Separating their beds, which is the apparent meaning of the second hadeeth.


2 – Not letting them sleep naked in one bed, but if they sleep in their clothes without touching one another, that is permissible so long as there is no risk of fitnah.

Zakariya al-Ansaari (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: Separating them in their beds means two things: giving them each a separate bed, or letting them sleep in one bed, but apart from each other and not touching one another. The latter should be sufficient because there is no evidence to suggest that the hadeeth should be interpreted in the first way only. Al-Zarkashi said: it is to be understood according to the apparent meaning, which is correct because of the following hadeeth: “Separate their beds” and it is supported by the meaning which is the fear of something haraam. End quote from Ansa al-Mataalib (3/113)



It says in Kashshaaf al-Qinaa’ (5/18): When the siblings reach the age of ten years, whether they are male or female, or both male and female, their guardian should separate them in their beds and give each one of them a bed of his or her own, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “And separate them in their beds” i.e., as they used to sleep naked, as it says in al-Mustaw’ab and al-Ri’aayah. End quote.



Ibn Muflih (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: A boy who reaches the age of ten should be prevented from sleeping naked with his sister or any other mahram. This was mentioned in al-Mustaw’ab and al-Ri’aayah. This – and Allaah knows best – was narrated from Ahmad and was the view favoured by Abu Bakr. It was also stated and favoured by most of our companions that children must be separated when they are seven years old or more, and that (a child of that age) has an ‘awrah which he must guard. This issue is well known and is mentioned in Kitaab al-Janaa’iz.

End quote from


al-Adaab al-Shar’iyyah (3/538).



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Boy Sleeping with His Mother or Sister

Question:

Is it allowed for a boy to sleep in the same bed with his mother or sister after he has reached the age of puberty?


Answer:

Praise be to Allaah.

it is not allowed for male children, if they have reached the age of puberty or are ten years old or more, to sleep

with their mothers or sisters in the same bedding or mattress. This safeguards chastity and keeps the person away from

temptation. It also closes the door to evil. The Prophet (peace be upon him) ordered that the children be separated in

their bedding when they reach the age of ten. He said,

"Order your children to pray when they are seven years old. And spank them [to exhort them] to do it by the age of ten and separate them in their bedding." [3]

Those who are not approaching the age of puberty still must ask permission to enter upon their parents at three times

during the day. These are the times in which one is more likely to be taking off his clothing and exposing the parts that are

usually covered. This has been stressed by them being called times of privacy. Allah says in the Quran,

"O you who believe! Let your slaves and those among you who have not come to the age of puberty ask permission

[before they come to your presence] on three occasions: before morning prayer, and while you put off your clothes for the noonday [rest] and after the Isha [Night] Prayer. [These] three times are times of privacy for you. Other than those times there is no sin for you or for them to move about, attending to each other. Thus Allah makes clear His signs to you. And Allah is All-Knowing, All-Wise" (al-Nur 58).

However, those who are past the age of puberty must seek permission to enter at all times of the day. Allah says,

"And when the children among you reach the age of puberty, then let them (also) ask for permission, as those senior to

them (in age ask permission). Thus Allah makes clear His signs for you. And Allah is Al-Knowing A-Wise" (al-Nur 59).

All of this is to avoid any kinds of problems and temptations and to safeguard honors. It also brings an end to the means

that lead to evil.

As for the child who is less than ten years old, it is permissible for him to sleep with his mother and sister in their bedding if

there is some need to look after him and if there is no fear of temptation. They may also all sleep in the same area, in their

own bedding, if they are of the age of puberty if there is no fear of temptation.


The Standing Committee

Footnote

1. Other than the husband's father or sons.--JZ

2. Recorded by al-Bukhari and Muslim. It implies that such close relations can easily lead to adultery which has the death

penalty.--JZ

3. Recorded by Abu Dawud and Ahmad. Al-Albani has graded it hasan. Al-Albani, Sahih al-Jami, vol. 2, p. 1021.

Islam Q&A
Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid



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