I do see the good things in life, but they become buried with all the bad stuff then I can't enjoy them. All that happens is i begin enjoying, then remember stuff, and then leave or cry or something.
Too much doubt is everywhere for me, too much pressure, too much opinions of other people and everything i don't know where the truth of anything is.
it gets too much, you wanna give up. i give up easily as u all know, so i give up, but the only way to continue this giving up is dying, because islam is a life long thing, its a feeling, its the truth, you can't borrow it. And yet i can't use it.
I wanna leave this world. and i always feel the angel of death is in the room with me, while im typing this. i think of the future, and about life, and most of the time i think of things like who created god, and where is he, and i ask him to take my fear away, and he does, right away, and then i start thinking aboutwhat if its all wrong, what it im wrong, what if something i did here was wrong, somehting im going to do, something i have done, what if this is all wrong, then im stuck, i can't do anything or go anywhere. and Hell is just waiting for me right there. and i get massive dreams about hell and all and it jus scary
i cant even explain the feeling, i been getting it for a long time, and now its getting more. and it leads to other things, bigger things, and worse things. :laugh:
give up:enough!:
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